The Mystery of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule

by GrangeDisplay

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Mayor Mare could feel a migraine coming on as she stepped over one of the many files scattered around Town Hall. Filing cabinet drawers had been left upon with reckless abandon. Baby pictures had been separated from their birth certificates. Marriage certificates were separated from their personal files and the cutiemark catalog was flipped over in a way that bent its binder out of shape. At the center of this torpedo of disorganization were two unicorns. Mayor Mare had grown quite familiar with Trixie and Starlight over the last few years, since both of the former villains' escapades had resulted in a considerable amount of paperwork for her.

She rubbed her temple as Trixie explained why they were making a mess of Ponyville’s records. “Trixie has already told you! We are on an official investigation on behalf of Princess Twilight Sparkle.” Trixie took great joy in rolling the r’s in the word princess as she held up a toy badge resembling that of legal authority.

Mayor Mare rolled her eyes as she pushed the badge out of her face. She looked at Starlight in hopes of finding some reason, but the purple unicorn only smiled apologetically. Trixie cleared her throat to gain everypony’s attention.

“We are looking for one Cloudy Whistles. We believe that this pony lived here some years ago and that they were a certifiable genius craftspony.”

Mayor Mare placed her hoof on a filing cabinet labeled ‘C,’ and raised an eyebrow. “Have you two checked here?”

Starlight placed herself between the mayor and the magician. “We have, but we couldn’t find an exact profile. Our pony might be using an alias. Are there any more files we can check?”

Mayor Mare fussed over her collar as she thought of a plan. “Well, it seems that you need further information on this pony. Information that an official record would probably lack. Maybe you two could ask around. Here’s an idea! You’re both friends with Pinkie Pie, she volunteers here from time-to-time. She knows about the filing system, and she has a prolific knowledge of personal information. Go talk to her.” Mayor Mare put on her designated politician smile as she led Starlight and Trixie out the door.

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After being unceremoniously kicked out of the Town Hall and realizing that Pinkie wouldn’t be home until tomorrow, Trixie and Starlight wandered Ponyville asking about Cloudy Whistles. The general consensus indicated that the particular name of Cloudy Whistles was unknown. Long-time Ponyville residents offered similar names or possible guesses at a true identity, but there was no concrete evidence to lead them in one direction. Trixie cursed herself for agreeing to Rainbow’s terms of staying quiet about the true intent of their investigation. Specifically mentioning fireworks could potentially jog the memories of the residents, or it could at least provide context.

The town grew dark as the sun disappeared below the horizon. Streetlamps came to life as the two unicorns roamed the gradually emptying roads. After a conversation with Derpy proved fruitless in their endeavor, the pair decided to resign for the night. They walked in silence as they made their way to the castle, and it was that mutual quietude that allowed the mares to hear the whisper coming from the alleyway. Trixie seemed to recognize what was happening first as she placed a hoof on Starlight's back and gestured for her to stay quiet. Starlight complied, allowing Trixie to take the lead as they entered the dark.

The stench of smoke immediately entered Starlight’s senses as she put a hoof to her muzzle and repressed a cough. The unknown pony smirked as he extinguished his cigar on the wall that he leaned against. “Trixie. It’s been a while. How’ve you been?” he drawled smoothly.

Trixie didn’t bother with the strange pony’s formalities. She instantly recognized his smirk, cleft chin, and slicked back manecut. Her eyes filled with malice, as she got in his face. “Why are you here Bugs!” she spat the last words as she began to pace the alleyway.

Bugs was unimpressed by Trixie’s display of distress. He wiped some lint off his black trenchcoat. “I’m here because a little birdy told me that there’s an original Al Capony on the market.”

Trixie immediately stopped walking as she stared at Bugs. “You must be mistaken. Al Capony is gone! It’s probably a counterfeit.”

Bugs’ cool demeanor slipped as he began to laugh. He removed himself from the wall and came closer to Trixie. “What do you take me for Trixie? Some type of a moron. This cracker is completely unique, and I know that you have it.” He used his unlit cigar to poke Trixie’s chest as he backed her into a wall.

Starlight used her magic to yank Bugs’ tail, the stallion grunted as he slammed into the brick wall behind him. A pair of wings shifted under his trench coat as he got on his hooves. He rubbed his muzzle with an achy hoof and turned his attention to Starlight. “Ah my apologies Trixie, I didn’t regard your friend here. How rude of me. My name is Bugs Marean. Me and Trixie are old friends, it seems that I might have gotten a bit carried away.” Despite being thrown like a ragdoll, Bugs remained calm and cool. Starlight glared at him as he offered her a hoof shake.

She slapped his hoof out of the way and sternly spoke, “Listen here buddy, you don’t ever put your hooves on my friend! I don’t know why you’re here and I don’t care why you’re here. You should leave, now!” She looked at Trixie with concern. “Are you okay?”

Trixie nodded as she scampered over to Starlight’s side. He watched the pair intently before pulling out a fresh cigar and lighting it. “No can do ma’am. I know you want me gone, but even if I’m gone I won’t stay gone. Plenty of ponies are coming for Al Capony, and they’ll raze this whole town just to finally get him.”

Starlight could tell that Trixie was growing nervous. “How do you know that Al Capony is here?”

Bugs’ smirk returned as he took a drag of his cigar. “Because somepony tried to sell the firecracker out of here. But that’s the small stuff. We had big suspicions of this town back in the day. We even interrogated the gushy ponies who live here, but none of them knew anything or they wouldn’t talk. We told them that if any of them so much as uttered the name Al Capony, we would blow this place to smithereens.”

Starlight and Trixie didn’t know what to say. Bugs reveled in the silence as he chuckled to himself. His wings burst out of slits in his trench coat, and he began to take flight. He offered the mares a wink and one final message. “And Starlight, we don’t care about how powerful you are, or about the little Princess of Friendship, or about the Elements. Al Capony’s going to pay for messing with our business and our territory. You can blast me away, send me to Tartarus, encase me in stone. We’ll just keep coming. And if push comes to shove. Twilight won’t miss either of you if she can’t ever find you.”

The mares watched as Bugs flew into the night. The shadow of a pegasus crossing through the moonlight was cast over the alleyway as Starlight turned to Trixie.

“You tried to sell the firework on the black market!” She yelled.

“I just wanted an estimate!” Trixie whined in retort.

Starlight facehoofed and groaned. “We need to figure out what to do, Trixie! The entire wrath of the firecracker mafia is coming down on Ponyville. We need to find Al Capony.”

Trixie stomped in determination. “You’re right Starlight, we need to find Al Capony and warn him to get out before his brilliant mind is blown to smithereens!”

Starlight gawked at her friend, then facehoofed again.

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“And now we’re screwed.” Starlight whined as she rested her head in the crook of Maud’s neck. Maud patted the back of her head gently as she looked at Trixie. They had run into Maud on their way to Sugarcube Corner and had quickly collapsed under the pressure of her worried gaze; a detour to the park to discuss was agreed upon. They sat on a park bench and confided to Maud as she listened patiently.

“So, what are you going to do now?” Maud asked monotonously.

Starlight sat up and covered her eyes with her hooves. “I don’t know. There are too many things happening at once. We’re just gonna find Al Capony and see if they know how to deal with this quietly. Or warn them that they should leave. Or turn them in. Or turn ourselves in! I don’t know!”

Starlight watched Maud blink slowly. The rock farmer spoke calmly, “And you couldn’t find out anything new about Al Capony?”

“Bugs seems to believe that Al/Cloudy lives or lived in Ponyville, so Trixie believes that there is a connection there.” Trixie budded in.

“Cloudy?” Maud questioned.

Starlight rubbed her eyes and confirmed. “Yes, remember Cloudy Whistles? That’s the only realish sounding name that we have for Al, but that might just be an alias. That’s what we want to talk to your sister about, she tends to know more about ponies than ponies know about themselves.”

Maud thought it over. “I don’t think that making fireworks is an easy task. Especially one’s as good as Trixie has been describing. Simply acquiring the chemicals alone without garnering suspicion would have been a difficult task.”

“You’re right Maud. We’re looking for somepony with access, money, and technical know-how.” Starlight was intrigued by Maud’s thinking. Aside from being in the company of a friend, she recognized why talking to Maud was so valuable. Maud was one of the smartest ponies that Starlight knew, she was the one that figured out the bog situation and her suggestions were reinvigorating Starlight’s desire to search.

As if she had read her mind, Trixie spoke up, “Maud, Trixie thinks that you could be an invaluable asset to our royal investigation. Would you care to join our search?”

Maud stared at nothing in particular. “I appreciate the offer, but I can’t.”

Both mares sighed in disappointment as they hung their heads. Trixie looked at Maud with pleading eyes. “But why!” she whined, burying her head in Maud’s coat.

“I’ve recently processed some geodes that I need to analyze. It’s my number one priority.” Maud droned.

Trixie and Starlight tried to nod in understanding, but Maud could tell that they were still disappointed. The gray mare’s expression softened ever so slightly as she offered one last word of advice. “After thinking about it. I think it would be in your best interests to keep all of this a secret from Twilight.”

Starlight eschewed her disappointment in favor of surprise. “You don’t think we should tell Twilight about Bugs or his threats?” Starlight whispered.

Maud shook her head silently. “Trixie, you and Bugs know each other. Is it possible that you worked for him in any capacity?”

Trixie cringed at the thought. “Trixie didn’t exactly work for him, we just worked in the same general playing field. Trixie doesn’t associate with his ponies anymore.”

Maud closed her eyes as her guess was confirmed. “But I’m guessing that you still buy and sell on the black market. If the authorities get involved with this, then a lot of ponies could get involved. Good ponies. Ponies that don’t deserve to be lumped in with ponies like Bugs.” She looked at Starlight and Trixie intently waiting for some sort of confirmation that they understood.

Both mares shared a skeptical look before they agreed.

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Mrs. Cake excitedly exited the kitchen as she heard Starlight and Trixie enter Sugarcube Corner. She joined her husband at the cash register and happily greeted the unicorns.

The baker wiped her hooves on her apron. “Well, how did it go dearies! Did you find the hidden treasure!”

Starlight smiled at the older mare's enthusiasm, partially wishing that she could share in the joy. “We sure did Mrs. Cake. We had to go to Froggy Bottom Bogg and dig it up. We found a few bits buried.” she declared.

Mr. Cake beamed as he slapped the counter. “Wow girls, that sounds exciting. I wonder whatever happened to that Cloudy Whistles.”

Starlight jumped at the opportunity to segue into what she actually came to talk about. “Cloudy Whistles is actually why we’re here! We wanted to talk to somepony that is knowledgeable about the ponies in this town. Would this be a bad time to talk to Pinkie?”

“Not at all!” A sing-song voice rang out of the kitchen. The kitchen swung open as Pinkie performed a perfect cartwheel to the counter. “Starlight! Trixie! I’m happy to see you!” She chirped as she hopped up and down.

Mrs. Cake placed a hoof on Pinkie’s back in an attempt to calm her down. “Pinkie, I don’t know how you do it. All this energy even after such a long train ride home. You girls can go ahead and take a seat, I’m sure Pinkie can help you out with your quest.”

Pinkie sucked in a mighty gasp as her eyes bulged out of her head. “A QUEST! You girls did a quest! Tell Pinkie! Tell Pinkie!” Pinkie jumped over the counter and ensnared Trixie and Starlight in a crushing hug. “Did you meet a wizard! Did they have a staff! Did they give you candy!”

Starlight tried to loosen the grip that Pinkie had around her neck. “No…no wizard. But…we do…have a few questions” she choked out.

They crumpled to the floor as Pinkie released them. She pranced around in anticipation.

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“Cloudy Cloud, Cloudy Cumulus, Cloudy Storm, Cloudy Sky, Cloudy Day,” Pinkie drew in one last breath of air before finishing. “Aaaaaand Cloudy McClouderson!” She chirped out and lifted a hoof as emphasis.

Starlight blinked several times as she tried to remember what key decision brought her to this point. Pinkie didn’t recognize the name Cloudy Whistles so she offered to name every Cloudy that she knew in alphabetical order. Starlight was quick to shut her down, but she should have known that a simple, “No, thank you,” wasn’t enough. It seems that Pinkie had taken it upon herself to name the, at least, three hundred Cloudy’s that she knew in the chronological order of when she met them. Starlight had to admit that it was an impressive feat, but it was also an incredible waste of time.

Trixie had long since fallen asleep. The magician had tried to stay focused by repeatedly bumping her head against the table, but the sweet call of sleep had continued to beckon to her. She had no choice but to succumb to the darkness, Starlight tried not to feel jealous of her. She gently nudged her friend awake. Trixie snorted as she slowly revived herself.

“Is it over?” she mumbled as she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

Pinkie was still smiling. She giddily vibrated in her seat as she awaited their next question. Starlight was hesitant to ask for any more help, but Pinkie had shown that she had a growth of knowledge cultivating in that skull of her’s. Starlight just had to pick at it cautiously.

“Alright Pinkie. I need you to think of all the ponies who lived in this town between when you came to the day of the Ponyville time capsules burying. I need you to name three, only three, ponies that best fit this description. Intelligent. Moderately wealthy. Access to chemicals. Secretive. Good at negotiating. Go.” Starlight said as slowly and carefully as possible.

Pinkie began to process the information placed into her mental search bar. Her eyes twinkled and shined as she computed potential answers. She pressed an imaginary buzzer as she came up with an answer. “Ooh Twilight Spa- Wait no she wasn’t here. No… no, Auto Maton! Wait… he’s not even real.” Starlight facehoofed while Pinkie stuck out her tongue and thought harder. “Let’s see hmmmmmmmmmm. Nurse Redheart was here! And so was Dr. Fauna! One more… ok oh Dr. Hooves! He’s super smart!”

A squeal could be heard in the area surrounding Sugarcube Corner as Starlight wrapped Pinkie in a hug. Pinkie rocked them from side-to-side as she giggled in glee. “Thanks, Pinkie. This might be something we can work with.” She clapped her hooves together and hi-hoofed Trixie.

“Yippee I love to help my friends! But Starlight, can I ask you a question now?” Pinkie begged.

Taking the risk of spiraling down another one of Pinkie’s rabbit holes, Starlight obliged. “Sure, thing Pinkie.”

Pinkie rubbed her hooves together and licked her lips. “Why did you specifically need ponies from between when I came to Ponyville and the burying of the Old Ponyville Time Capsule?”

Leave it to Pinkie to ask a tricky question. Twilight wanted to keep this whole situation under wraps. Starlight let out a sigh. “I asked because we accidentally dug up the time capsule when we were installing the new lab.” Seeing that Pinkie was about to shout something potentially incriminating, Starlight rushed to cut her off. “But this is a secret, okay! I have a feeling that you would somehow pop up and find out anyway so it’s fine that you know now. Try not to tell anypony else though. Except for maybe Rarity and Applejack. But nopony else!”

“Okay!” Pinkie chirped. It was an uncharacteristically succinct response from the pink pony but not an unwelcome one. “Did you find any weird stuff in there! How about the movie that Steadicam and I made about the town.”

The mares laughed at the thought of the short Ponyville documentary. Trixie decided that she wanted to contribute to the conversation. “We did see an excerpt of that cinematic masterpiece. Trixie must ask. Did you actually need those glasses that you wore?”

An oven in the kitchen dinged as Pinkie placed a hoof to her cheek and giggled. “Oh yeah. Those ole things. My eyesight got really really really really bad a couple years after I moved here. I had to wear those big magnifying glasses on my eyes which made it super-duper hard to flip and twitch and hop and saunter and spin around without breaking them into a bunch of little pieces. And Mrs. Cake was all, ‘Pinkie dearie, you better not break those glasses again or you’ll be in big trouble young mare!’ But I couldn’t help it, they just kept breaking! So, they gave me contacts, but they made my eyeballs all itchy witchy scratchy watchy. So, I had to super sneakily stop wearing those too.”

“Wait. So, you’re not wearing your glasses or your eye contacts?”

Pinkie squinted as she looked at the blobs of purple and blue. “Nopers…Trixie? Aunty Pinkie is seeing this world raw!”

A staunch silence overtook the table as each mare ruminated on their conversation. After taking a moment to reflect on all of her past experiences with the party pony, Starlight suggested to Trixie that they take their leave. Both mares said their goodbyes to the Cakes and Pie before departing from the establishment. Pinkie leaned against a counter and tearfully waved a handkerchief at them. Her dramatic farewell was disrupted by Mrs. Cake tapping her on the shoulder.

“I couldn’t help but overhear you say that you haven’t been wearing your glasses or contacts despite telling me otherwise for years.”

At times like these, Pinkie knew the importance of finding humor in the little things. It was through this talent that she had endured and survived so many trials and tribulations. She had stood against Nightmare Moon, she had toiled with the likes of Discord, she had blasted away changelings, and watched as Tirek ravaged her nation. Through it all, she had prevailed with a smile on her face. But as Mrs. Cake polished off her ‘I am very very very upset with you Pinkie!’ scoldy face, Pinkie couldn’t find a single thing to laugh about.

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The floor of Pinkie’s bedroom creaked as Rainbow Dash collapsed onto it in a laughing fit. A gentle breeze blew in through the doors of Pinkie’s balcony as Rainbow scrambled to close them. She grabbed at her sides and tried to regain her breath before addressing her friend. “I guess you were feeling nostalgic after today's news, egghead!”

She broke out into another fit and doubled over. Pinkie stood by with a sullen pout as she readjusted her glasses.

“It’s not like I wanted to wear these things! Mrs. Cake found out that I haven’t been wearing my contacts and is making me wear these until a new order comes in. I didn’t even know that she still had these stored away.” Pinkie whined and flopped onto her bed, burying her face into a pillow while Rainbow Dash composed herself.

“Alright, I’m good. I’m sorry for laughing Pinks. You just caught me off guard.” The pegasus laid down on the bed beside Pinkie and stared at the ceiling. She began to feel heavier as she remembered why she came over. “Did they come by to visit?”

The pillow ruffled as Pinkie adjusted herself. “Yep. Just like you said. They asked a couple of questions.” she mumbled.

Rainbow hated to admit it. “Pinkie, this is a mess.” She shivered at the thought of what could go wrong.

Pinkie studied her headboard and sighed. “I know Dashie. It’s a big old stinky, smelly mess that we gotta clean up.” She wanted to say more but she was distracted by a knock at her door. She groaned and sat up. “Mrs. Cake! I'm still wearing them, just like I promised!”

“It’s not Mrs. Cake, it’s Maud. Open up Pinkie.”

Pinkie and Rainbow shared a glance before the baker went to open the door. She opened it enough to squeeze her head through. “Hiya Maud!” she chirped. Her smile dissolved as she recognized the signs of a stressed-out Maud Pie. The older Pie’s strong hooves gripped the door and forced it all the way open. She came in, shut the door, and made sure that it was locked.

Cyan eyes peered directly into cyan eyes as Maud spoke sternly, “Pinkie, what did you do?”

Comments

[QueenofSteam]

I like it. Looking forward to more.

[Wild Stallion]

I need you to name three, only three, ponies that best fit this description. Intelligent. Moderately wealthy. Access to chemicals. Secretive. Good at negotiating. Go.

Pinkie Pie.