Infinite Potential

by applezombi

Strategic Retreat

The kitchen already smelled of warm tea and baking muffins as Starlight plodded down the stairs. Somepony was up and moving, and it wasn’t Spike, because he was spending this Hearth’s Warming with Ember and Smolder. At least he’d decorated before he left; Starlight wasn’t sure she’d had the energy, lately.

“Who’s up?” she called out, her words slurring with exhaustion.

“Oh, Starlight? You’re awake?” Fluttershy’s gentle voice floated out of the kitchen. Starlight stepped into the warm aroma of sweet baked goods, looking into Fluttershy’s concerned eyes. “When you didn’t meet me for breakfast I was worried. I was about to come knock on your door, but if you’re not feeling well maybe you need your sleep.”

She was wearing one of Spike’s aprons, awkwardly shaped on a pony and just a little too big for her after his most recent growth spurt. It was dotted with flour and batter from whatever kind of muffin was probably baking away in the oven.

“Are you okay?” Fluttershy continued, while Starlight stared at the kitchen in a bit of a daze. A hundred answers came to her lips, floated at the tip of her tongue. But this was Fluttershy.

“No,” she whispered, and Fluttershy tutted. “Sorry. I overslept. I forgot we were going to meet. I’m sorry.” She was repeating herself, she realized, her sleep-deprived mind struggling to form coherent thoughts.

“You should go back to bed, then,” Fluttershy said, but Starlight was already shaking her head no. “Well, at least come sit at the table and I’ll pour you some tea. The muffins will be done in about five minutes.”

Fluttershy flew over the table in order to pull Starlight’s chair out for her. Starlight slumped down, flopping her head on the polished wood with a thud. Fluttershy patted her mane gently before flitting away to pour some tea. Starlight didn’t sit up until she heard the ceramic mug laid down on the table next to her.

Any of her other friends would have started with something like, ‘so, do you want to talk about it?’ Fluttershy just waited, watching her calmly while she tentatively sipped at the tea. Fluttershy was treating her a little like a skittish animal, Starlight realized, and had to hold back an amused huff. She might as well say something, then.

“I think I’m going to move out,” she said.

“Oh?”

That was it. Polite interest, no pushing, no probing questions. Starlight was suddenly immensely glad it was Fluttershy here, rather than any of her other friends. Especially Trixie.

“Yes. I’m… I’m probably going to resign at the School of Friendship, too. Let Sunburst take over as headmaster. He’ll do just fine.”

“That seems like a big step. Where would you go?”

“Anywhere,” Starlight breathed, then flinched. “It’s not like I’m on probation any longer.”

“Probation?”

“You didn’t know?” Starlight stared at Fluttershy. She thought everypony knew. “After I nearly unmade reality in a fit of jealousy and revenge? I know you girls, and Prince Dusk voted to forgive me, but there are still laws in place. I had to live in Ponyville for the duration, and even surrender some quintessence.”

“Quintessence?”

“Oh, right. Mostly just a thing unicorns would worry about.” Explaining practical magic felt safe. Better than talking about what was bugging her. “Unicorn criminals, like me, go through a process when they’re placed on probation. We cast a spell that distills our magic essence into liquid form. It can be used as a material link if something goes wrong.” Starlight saw the uncomprehending look in Fluttershy’s eyes. “Basically if I’d tried to escape, Dusk could have used the bottle of my quintessence to easily cast tracking spells, locate me for teleportation, or even cast various attack spells targeted on my horn. It’s a failsafe.”

“That’s… harsh.”

“Nothing more than I deserved,” Starlight said, matter of factly.

Fluttershy tutted. “I don’t like you talking down about yourself, Starlight.” She shook her head. “But you really don’t have any concrete plans of where you’ll end up?”

The reversal back to the earlier subject was unsubtle, but Starlight didn’t mind.

“There’s positions for a mare with experience in education all over, especially since Dusk had my criminal record expunged. Manehattan Institute of Magictechnology is hiring professors. Thorax is looking for a cultural exchange of tutors for the school he’s opening in the Badlands. And there’s private schools in the Empire that are looking for a few more modern teachers, too.”

“You didn’t mention any positions around Canterlot or Ponyville,” Fluttershy noted smoothly. There was a ding from the oven, and she jerked out of her own seat. “Oh! Let me get that, one moment.”

No, she hadn’t mentioned any position close by. And of course Fluttershy would pick up on that.

“I need distance. I thought I could make this work, but I can’t. Especially with Dusk this close, I…” she snapped her mouth shut. That was too much. But Fluttershy, her attention on the oven gloves she was slipping over her forehooves, merely nodded.

“Maybe I’m more observant than most,” Fluttershy said, opening the oven. A gust of hot air and sweet spicy smells washed over the kitchen. She reached in to pull out the tray. “I wish I’d said something sooner, Starlight. You’ve been hurting in silence this whole time. I didn’t speak up because…” Fluttershy’s head sank. “...because you were trying so hard to push them together. I didn’t want to mess that up.”

“Was I really that obvious?” Starlight groaned. Fluttershy shook her head as she set the muffins on the countertop and deftly closed the oven with one of her rear hooves.

“Oh, no. I just…” Fluttershy blushed, looking away. “I… uh, I know what it’s like to love somepony, silently, from a distance.”

Starlight watched her as she hid behind her pink mane. “Rainbow?” Fluttershy gulped and nodded, and Starlight’s heart sank. “Oh, Fluttershy. I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Fluttershy said. “It’s something I’ve come to accept, you know? It doesn’t hurt like it used to, when they first got together.”

Rainbow and Applejack had been married for two years, now. That Fluttershy had been quietly hurting…

“I’ve been a bad friend.”

“N-no!” Fluttershy yelped, jerking upright and nearly upending the tray of muffins. “Don’t say that, Starlight! You’ve had your own issues going on.”

“And now you’re here, helping me through it.”

“Whatever I can do,” Fluttershy nodded. “It passes with time, and with distance. I can’t imagine how difficult it might have been if I lived with the pony I…” she gulped and fell silent. “You’re so strong.”

“Not strong enough. That’s why I have to go. I…” she took a deep breath. “I can’t take it any longer, Fluttershy. I just can’t.”

“When will you go?”

Starlight gaped. “You’re not going to try to convince me to stay?”

“Distance will help you heal,” Flutttershy said simply, pulling two muffins from the tray and plopping them down on a plate. She slid the plate in front of Starlight, then sat in a chair close enough to wrap a feathery wing around her. “I’ll miss you. We all will. But there’s letters, and I doubt it will be forever. It’s not a final goodbye, Starlight. Just the next step in your life.”

With the soft, supportive voice in her ear, and the gentle feathers around her, it was all too much. Starlight began to sob silently, tears streaming down her cheeks onto the table. Fluttershy stroked her back, whispering soothing nonsense as she cried.

Starlight’s tea was lukewarm by the time she finally stopped crying. Fluttershy held out a tissue, and Starlight dried her eyes. The silence was too much, too embarrassing, and there was a part of Starlight that demanded she cover the weakness she’d just shown.

She took a bite of one of the muffins on the plate before her. Apple spice, still just a little bit warm. She managed a small smile. “These are good. Thank you.”

“It’s an Apple family recipe. Applejack is really the best source for baking ideas.” Through tear-dampened eyes, Starlight searched Fluttershy’s expression for any hint of bitterness, jealousy, or regret. There was none. Apparently a pony really could move past losing to a romantic rival, especially if that rival was a good friend to begin with.

And Sunburst was her very best, and oldest, friend.

She steeled herself, took a deep breath, and stood, letting a smile slide over her face. It was only a little faked. “C’mon, let’s go track down the boys. They’d be upset if they missed out on these amazing muffins.”

“Shouldn’t they have been awake by now?” Fluttershy said nervously. “I wouldn’t want to interrupt… I mean, they are technically still newlyweds, and…” She trailed off, her yellow face turning crimson.

“I’m pretty sure they’re still in the lab,” Starlight said. “They were there last night, when I went to bed.” Bed had been useless. “There was an explosion, and I went to check on them, but they said to stay out.”

“An explosion?” Fluttershy leapt from her seat as well, wings fluttering in distress. “Oh, my. Were they okay?”

Starlight laughed. “Explosions are just one of the small inconveniences Spike and I have to put up with, living with two eccentric geniuses. It’s normal. When I checked on them an hour later, they were arguing about something.” She paused, noting Fluttershy’s worried look. “Not bad arguing, you know. Just the two of them having an intense debate about some point of magical theory or other. Honestly, it’s a little beyond me.”

“Starlight, you’re as much a genius as they are,” Fluttershy said disapprovingly.

“Only because I know how to improvise. My magical education was a little ad hoc, so I never learned the rules or the theory the way those two did. So while yes, I can run circles around either one of them with my spellwork, I just get lost when they start talking about the technical details.” She jerked her head in the direction of the door. “C’mon, we should go check on them, at least. They probably argued into the early hours then passed out on the floor of the lab. I’ve taken to leaving blankets and pillows there when it happens.”

“It’s… a regular occurrence?” Fluttershy’s mouth twisted in a frown.

“They’re getting better, but when Spike’s not here to keep them in line, they sometimes forget. And I usually…” She hissed, sucking air through her teeth. “...Well, I usually try, but recently it’s been difficult to be around them.”

“Are you sure you…”

“Let’s go!” Starlight forced herself out of the kitchen, before her own hesitation or Fluttershy’s sweet concern could send her into another sobbing fit. She could practically feel Fluttershy’s worried look as she trotted up the stairs and into the castle’s main hall, but she didn’t turn to look. She could hear Fluttershy’s wingbeats, so she knew the mare was following.

“Their lab’s right here,” she said, stopping in front of a heavily warded wood door. “It’s thaumically sealed, so they don’t explode the hallway if they do manage to blow up their lab. That's what the runes are for. If they’re glowing, that means they’re active and something dangerous is happening inside.” The runes appeared to be quiescent, so she reached out to gently knock on the door.

There was no response.

“Sunburst? Dusk? Are you in there?” Silence was her answer. Shrugging, she reached the handle and pulled the door open.

The lab inside was a disaster. In the center of the room, a tarp covered a huge section of the floor. The rest of the room was littered in crumpled paper and broken shards of something. There were even a few plates from when Starlight had brought Sunburst a snack, yesterday afternoon.

“O-oh,” Fluttershy said, looking around the room with a horrified gaze. “I-I didn’t realize…”

“They’re usually clean and organized, but they can be absolute slobs when they get distracted. Don’t worry, they’ll clean up today. It’s either that or face the wrath of Spike.” Spike had gotten really good lately at making Dusk clean up his own disasters.

“Yes, but where are they? I don’t… Oh!” Fluttershy let out a coo, and Starlight followed her gaze.

As expected, Dusk and Sunburst were sleeping away in the detritus of their lab, both resting their heads on a pillow on the floor, covered only by a single blanket.

“Are they… s-spooning?” Fluttershy stammered, using the kind of voice she would have for a particularly adorable baby animal. Indeed, the newlyweds were spooning, with the larger Dusk wrapped tightly around Sunburst. As they snoozed, Dusk’s wings twitched, pulling Sunburst closer and sleepily nuzzling against him.

It was sweet. It was adorable.

It was Starlight’s love, holding another stallion in his hooves.

“I… I have to go. I’m sorry!” Starlight gasped, and turned to flee, ignoring Fluttershy’s calls behind her.