Fictional

by Meteorite Shower

Chapter 1

No, no, no, no, nononononononoNO!

Meteorite cradled her head in her hooves, trying to wrap her mind around the new thought. I can't- This can't be a fanfic! She lowered a hoof and stared at it. Not only that, a self-insert fanfic?! W-Why would I do that?! Don't I know that just leaves you open to ridicule?! Don't I have any self-respect?

She paused on that thought as her gaze drifted listlessly off to the side. "Let's just not focus on that last one…" she muttered under her breath. She refocused back on her hoof.

"But… if I am in a fanfic… then I'm a fanfic character and… the ramifications of that implication…" she swallowed, "oooh. I don't think I'm ready to comprehend that…" She put her hoof to her chest focusing on how it felt, though not so much the texture of her fur, although that was a factor, but rather just the sensation of touch itself.

"I… don't feel like… just a bunch of words," she finally concluded quietly, imagining herself and her actions being written out, word by word. "But… what would that even feel like, anyway?"

Meteorite slowly turned her attention skywards, her focus trying to look past the sky itself. Hm, if I am just in a story… then logically somewhere out there there's the real me, writing it. Right? She coughed loudly, addressing whatever lay beyond the sky.

"Uh… heh, um… h-hey… me."

Meteorite instantly felt silly and her cheeks reddened with embarrassment, but she pressed on.

"S-So! Um, threw yourself into Equestria, huh? That's… neat." She exhaled slightly. "Well. I'm assuming you did, anyway." She swallowed and paused for a moment, trying to refocus her line of thinking. "So, um… okay, look. I… don't really know why you're doing this… actually, I don't even remember considering writing myself into My Little Pony." She frowned, staring at her mud-stained fur. "I don't even remember designing this. Good colour choice though, by the way. Not sure why you went with red hair, but whatever I guess. Your call."

"Anyway," she continued after a beat, "as I was saying, I don't know why you're writing this story, but I'm sure you have a very good reason for doing so… but uh" –she rubbed her foreleg with her other hoof– "j-just so I know, do you- could you, y'know, give me some sort of sign? Just to let me know you're there, and I'm right about this whole fanfic thing?"

Exhaling, Meteorite relaxed her posture. She hadn't realised she had tensed up, but she supposed trying to contact another you who essentially controlled your existence was a fair enough reason to be tense. She looked about her for the sign she asked for, even getting up and turning around in a circle, just in case it was behind her, but nothing seemed to stick out. She sucked in her cheeks, considering her next step.

"Okay, so, nothing?" she eventually asked the empty air. Slightly unnerved, she forced a smile before continuing. "Look, heh, i-it doesn't need to be a big sign or anything, just something that'll make me go 'ahhh, I gotcha'. Wink." She winked to demonstrate.

Satisfied she got her sense of urgency across, she patiently stared at the fields and at the critters inhabiting them for roughly ten seconds before becoming agitated.

"Okay look," Meteorite said firmly, still staring at a group of rabbits, "I'll help you out. All I need is for that rabbit there" –she pointed at one that was peacefully grazing under the shade of a tree– "to just run across to that other tree there. Nothing fancy, perfectly within the realms of possibility, and I'm the only one around to see it. Please? I- I need this, okay?"

She sat down while staring intently at the rabbit from afar, waiting for it to make its move. Meteorite perked up when the rabbit stopped grazing to look around itself, but her enthusiasm deflated when it went back to nibbling at the grass. Annoyed, she got up again and wandered around a bit, considering what to do next.

"Okay…" Meteorite said finally, "so that didn't go anywhere." She paused, frowning up at the sky. "…Are you ignoring me on purpose or something? What, are you trying to make me think you're not there? I mean… I'unno. Why? Come on, just own up to it, alright? I fucking called you out on it; it's the least you can do."

It occurred to her that she might be totally wrong on the whole fanfic angle and that worried her. She didn't have many other options available, and none of them sounded either appealing or plausible. Not that being in a fanfic did either, but it was something she could deal with. Possibly.

Shaking her head clear, Meteorite cast a glare upwards. "I don't know if you're trying to be funny or whatever, but I just need to know, okay? I'll be your stupid fucking pony character; just let me know what's going on."

Every muscle in her body tensed as she stood her ground, ignoring everything but the sky. Orange and reddish hues were starting to creep across it as the sun slowly descended towards the horizon. Meteorite estimated she'd only had a couple hours left before night settled in, so she needed a response from herself fast. …If she was right, that is. She tried to swallow her uncertainty and made a point of sitting down firmly, while crossing her arms. Forelegs. Whatever, she didn't care.

"Okay, fine. You won't fucking do anything, neither will I. Have fun writing your dumb little story without your main character." She paused as she considered her last sentence. "Y'know, I shouldn't even be your main character anyway. Go write about someone else, like Rarity… Or Trixie! Yeah, go write about Trixie."

Not sure what else to do to drive her point home, Meteorite closed her eyes and waited. She didn't know what would happen next, but if she provided enough of a blockade it might push her as the author to make something happen to get the story going again. Orrr… I might give up on the story altogether. Actually… that's probably the more likely outcome…

Perturbed, she slowly reopened her eyes, staring off into the distance. What if that's what happens? Would I just… stop existing? Would everything just freeze in time, until I feel like picking the story up again? Which… knowing me, would be never… A cold shiver ran down her spine as she grimaced, trying to forcibly eject these thoughts from her head. Existential crises were not something she wanted to deal with right now on top of everything else. She decided to redirect her focus elsewhere.

"You know, you're being a real asshole right now…" Meteorite muttered under her breath. "This could've been a fun little story or whatever you had planned, but no, instead you're not going to do jack shit to help me out and so I'm just sitting here being tormented by my own thoughts." She paused for a moment, reflecting on her tirade. "Actually no, you're tormenting yourself by letting this happen; holy shit what is wrong with you?"

She decided to let her other self stew on that for a while and, with nothing else to say, resumed her protest of inactivity.

---

Meteorite was starting to become concerned.

She felt she had put up a remarkable resistance to do anything of note so far, but she couldn't help but notice it was definitely approaching sunset, and she could feel the night air settling in with it. Much as she'd like to stubbornly sit in one spot to stick it to, well, herself, it was becoming very apparent that soon she was going to be all alone in the dark, in the wilderness—the Equestrian wilderness—and in a body she was only very basically aware of how to move in.

I don't have anywhere to go, she solemnly thought, her breath caught up in her throat. I'm all by myself, no home, no nothing. I don't even know where Ponyville is. She turned to look at the forest that she emerged from. She had moved away from it a fair distance, but the shadows beneath the trees were getting darker, practically pitch black already. As if on cue, a wolf's howl sounded in the distance. Meteorite shivered and quickly stood up, her fight or flight response kicking in as she unconsciously lifted a foreleg, ready to run.

Okay, okay! I need to get out of here! Quickly glancing around, she turned and started to walk briskly towards an open field. She may not have known where she was going, but she knew it was definitely away from that forest.

I mean, I'm probably being silly, she thought in an attempt to convince herself, each step taken instilling more bravery in her. I mean, it's… not like I'd let anything happen to me, right? I wouldn't get hurt or anything, or die. I don't do that, right? I don't do 'dark'. She paused in her thoughts as she continued walking. I also don't do self-inserts. So… fuck me, I guess.

Assuming it is a fanfic to begin with, she then considered. I don't even know that for sure. Hell, it might as well be a coma. In which case… I probably should try to stay alive? For all I know, stubbornly not doing anything back there was hurting me. Meteorite slowed to a stop, reflecting on her last thought.

"…Fuck," she said quietly, looking about her. "I've got two possibilities and I don't like either one." She sighed. "I really don't want it to be a coma. For one thing-" she stopped herself and gave an anxious chuckle. "I was going to say, it'd be really cliché, but if it was a coma, well, can't really help that…"

"But I also don't want it to be a fanfic… it's just… embarrassing, really, being in my own story." She paused, looking at her hoof, flexing it slightly. "I wonder if Author Me knows I'm saying all this…"

Looking up from her hoof, Meteorite spotted a small clump of trees, maybe three or four, a short distance away. Swallowing, she made her way over, and slowly circled them, inspecting them for anything dangerous nearby, or failing that, gross-looking. Fortunately, they appeared to be normalish, so she sat down in front of one with a heavy sigh, resigned to the fact that this was to be her shelter for the night.

"Great story so far…" she muttered to herself. "'Come read my story. Chapter one, I'm a pony and I don't know what the fuck I'm doing where the fuck I am also I might be insane'."

"Hooo."

Meteorite sharply looked up, and her expression softened when she saw an owl sitting on one of the tree branches, looking down at her. It reminded her of Owlowiscious slightly, though this owl had more white feathers on its body.

"Heh, hello there Mr Owl," Meteorite said softly with a helpless smile, "You'll protect me during the night, right?"

"Hoo?"

Meteorite held her gaze with the owl for a moment before slowly dropping it, her smile fading with it. She eventually forced herself to lower herself onto the ground amongst the trees, settling in for the night. She glanced up one last time at the sky, it now losing the orange hue it had as the sun set. She spotted what looked to be a star, and giving a cursory glance to make sure she couldn't see any others, she quietly whispered to herself.

"Star light, star bright, wish I may, wish I might, I wish I knew what the fuck was going on…"

---

Night came and went without any disturbance; a fact unknown to Meteorite, since she was still asleep by the time the sun was already on its journey across the sky. She had somehow twisted around in her sleep and was now lying on her back, her forelegs folded and slightly raised in the air. She also was snoring, which luckily did not attract any nearby curious animals of the morning, if only because they either scurried or hopped away, covering their ears.

The sun however had no qualms about intruding on Meteorite's sleep, and shone a beam of sunlight directly across her face. Stirring, Meteorite groaned as she tried to block the offensive light with her foreleg.

Ughh, did I leave my light on last night? Meteorite thought to herself as she fought to open her eyes. A blurry purple hoof came into her view, causing her to blink in confusion. A quick glance at the treetops beyond her hoof, and the past day came flooding back to her. Groaning again, she awkwardly shifted onto her side and laid there, placing her forehooves under her head.

"Maybe I can go back to sleep and pretend this isn't still a thing…" she muttered sleepily, yawning afterwards. "That'll be nice..."

Her valiant effort at returning to sleep lasted a few moments however, as it was interrupted by a short but demanding rumble from her stomach. She tried to ignore it but eventually she reopened her eyes, now concerned.

"I'm gonna have to find food, aren’t I," she quietly realised. "No shops, no freezer or fridge… I'm gonna have to hunt down food in the wild." Swallowing, she rolled over onto her back, staring up at the trees.

"Jesus Christ… I'm really in over my head here, aren't I? All alone in the wilderness… and I haven't got the faintest idea how to survive." Meteorite raised a hoof and stared at it, her fur still marred by dry mud and dirt. "Not to mention I have to adapt to being a completely different species as well…"

She let her hoof drop down next to her as she continued staring upwards. "Ssssshit… I don't know what to do…" She shifted her attention slightly, deciding to address her other self once more. "Didn't think this through, did you, huh?"

A few bird songs from nearby trees filled the air as Meteorite contemplated her next move. Another rumble from her stomach eventually prompted her to twist about, trying to get to a standing position. Once she had done so, she began making a few futile attempts to brush away the dirt from her coat all over, trying to clean up just a little.

That's when she paused, mid-brush on her barrel.

Meteorite hadn't paid much, if any, attention to her body beyond what she could see just by looking down in front of her. But without a doubt, on the side of her body was a wing, if somewhat matted and ruffled. She blinked, disbelievingly.

"I'm sorry, what?"

She reached back and lightly touched the wing, trying to make sense of it. A moment later, she forced herself to stop staring at it, just so she could double-check her other side to confirm that, yes, there was another wing there too, in a similar state of dishevel. She opened her mouth, but it took her a while to process her thoughts into speech.

"…I'm a pegasus." She repeated this a few times, trying to wrap her head around the fact. "I… guess that explains why I couldn't get comfortable lying on my side last night…"

She turned her attention to the sky, puzzled. "Really? You… made yourself a pegasus? I mean… sure, I guess? I just… figured, if anything, we'd be a unicorn, because y'know, magic." She thought back to her usernames online, nearly all of them incorporating a user of magic. Heck, her favourite ponies were unicorns. Even when she discovered she didn't have a horn, her natural assumption was that she was simply an earth pony, and nothing more. The idea of being a pegasus by choice, considering she didn't like heights to begin with, was utterly bizarre.

She decided to sit down, now fully aware of the sensations her wings were giving her. "I'm a pegasus…" she repeated again quietly, trying to figure out exactly what that meant. That means… It means…

"I can fly…" she said in a hushed awe. She looked up at the sky again, but this time the sky itself.

"I- I can fly," she proclaimed, nervously trying to hold back her excitement. She glanced back down at the landscape, a tiny grin on her face.

"I could survey the land, and figure out where to go…!" She nervously got to her hooves, and took a stance. She considered her fear of heights, but decided heights be damned; she had to at least give this a shot. Breathing deeply, she counted down silently and when the time felt right, she arched her back, her thoughts filled with taking off the ground with grace and style… only to realise a few seconds later she wasn't leaving the ground.

She then also realised she actually didn't have the faintest idea how to move her wings.

She looked back, trying to focus all her muscles into moving them but there was no response from either of them, not even a twitch of a feather. She strained as much as she could but no matter what, her wings stayed as they were. Panting, Meteorite sat down, glaring in no particular direction.

"'Oh! Yeah! Cool!'" she mocked angrily, "'I'll make myself a goddamn fucking pegasus! Gee! I sure hope I'll just automatically know how to fly! It's not like my body will need to know how, because y'know, it's not like it didn't fucking have any wings to begin with!'"

She eventually turned her glare upwards. "Is this-!" Meteorite shrilled before cutting herself off, shutting her eyes tight. "No. No, don't… don't get upset." She reopened her eyes, with some composure.

"Is this 'part of your plan'?" Meteorite scoffed, shaking her head afterwards. "I… just don't get it! I'm a pegasus but I can't fly?!" She paused for a moment. "Oh. Wonderful. You turned yourself into Scootaloo. Way to go, me! You're the best." She proceeded to slowly clap her hooves together a few times before going quiet for a few minutes, silently fuming about the injustice put upon her. Eventually, she shook her head clear.

"Okay," she muttered to herself, "forget the pegasus thing. It's all part of-" she waved a hoof in the air, "-whatever. Don't- Don't let it get to you. That's what you want, apparently." She sneered slightly. "Fanfic or coma, whatever it doesn't matter, it's still you doing this to yourself, so… just ignore it." She let loose a derisive chuckle. "Yeah, cool. I'll just ignore myself just being… a total-" She bit her lip, trying to calm down.

"Just… let it go," she muttered while getting up and continuing her path from last night, "you're not going to get anywhere sitting around yelling at the sky."

"Although, maybe someone will hear me!" Meteorite said brightly. A moment later, the wolf howl from the previous night echoed through her mind, and she quickly became less enthused. "…Or something…"

She hesitated, glancing aside, before hurriedly trotting onwards.

"Okay, never mind."

---

Meteorite pressed on in her travels across the plains, scanning the scenery and horizon for any sign of civilisation, even something as simple as a dirt road. At least then she'd have something to follow. But there was nothing to be seen, and it only served to further remind her of her situation.

No food… no idea where I am… she paused momentarily to look at her hoof, and let out a sigh. And I'm still questioning my sanity. Really checking everything off the list, aren't I?

Meteorite took another look at her surroundings, taking in the sunshine and the cool breeze, the birds chirping as they flew from tree to tree, and the sound of water from a nearby brook. Y'know… this would actually be kinda nice, if I wasn't hopelessly lost…

Trying to take her mind off her situation –something her stomach wasn't letting go of any time soon– she forlornly looked back at one of her wings and awkwardly poked it with a hoof, in case that was the magical touch it needed to start moving. It wasn't.

It was then she did a small double-take as her gaze drifted beyond her wing. Through the dried mud, she noted a patch of grey fur on her flank. Bemused, she twisted herself around before sitting down and brushing away most of the mud. Afterwards, she couldn't help a small silly smile from forming as she stared at her cutie mark.

Okay, got a cutie mark, heh. Suppose that was a given, really. Can't quite make it out though… She stood up and turned around a few times, trying to get a better angle and failing. Looks like a rock though? Why would my cutie mark be a rock though?

Meteorite frowned in thought, trying to puzzle out the answer. In doing so, she noted something else accompanying the rock in question, something that looked a little bit like a vapour trail. Her face fell into a deadpan only a moment later, having figured out the apparent joke that was played upon her.

"It's a meteor isn't it. God dammit, of course it'd be a meteor," she tutted, shaking her head.

The truth was that over her years online, the meteor had become something of a private gag between her and her friends overseas. The actual significance behind it had been pushed aside as time moved on, but by the end it had become her own little running gag where the simple utterance of the word 'meteor' would act as a miscast spell, sending a meteor crashing down upon her. It was a very silly joke in her online chats, but it was her silly joke. It was almost as good as a personal signature. And now that signature was stamped on her flank.

Okay, so I guess this sorta proves I'm not imagining wild theories about what's going on, maybe? She bit her lip as she continued onwards. At the very least, it's almost a surefire sign I'm behind this, right? Heck, maybe this is the proof I was asking for? Still, I'd like something a bit more than… y'know, a wink wink nudge nudge kinda thing, I guess. She sighed. Oh well, still. At least, I got something, even if it is a stupid meteor gag-

Meteorite froze mid-step. A horrible realisation struck her, and she frantically prayed that'd be the only thing to do so. If she was right about everything being a fanfic, then she had done something very stupid.

She had said the 'M' word. Twice.

Her hooves dug into the ground as she wildly scanned the skies above for her impending doom. She quivered as fear and hopelessness left her whole body numb. She couldn't run; she couldn't hide. That was the joke. She was going to be hit by a giant space rock, and it was going to be funny. The apparent clear blue skies did nothing to calm her, as that only meant it was going to strike when her guard was down, right?

Out of options, Meteorite did the only thing that came to mind and dropped to the ground, covered her head with her hooves, and softly but desperately pleaded to whomever was in charge.

"Please don't kill me please don't kill me please don't kill me I don't wanna die please don't I wanna live please please please!"

She continued for some time before slowly realising that the usually imminent death rock was apparently taking its time to make itself known. Cautiously, she opened an eye but everything around her seemed normal, apart from a few nearby bunnies tilting their heads in confusion at the strange pony. Carefully letting her guard down, Meteorite sat upward, mildly embarrassed but more importantly, alive. She warily watched the sky one more time, before exhaling a relieved sigh.

"Okay… so I… guess I was wrong about that?" Meteorite muttered quietly. She then instinctively flinched and braced herself, just in case she wasn't wrong after all. When nothing still happened, she allowed herself to relax once again.

"Which I'm very thankful for… I just…" she continued, pausing to hold a hoof to her head, "I just don't know what to think anymore. Is this real, where am I, is this just a story, am I trying to fake myself out, I… I don't know. I just… want answers…" she whimpered, before her stomach loudly interjected with a rumble.

"Also, food. I want food…"

Taking in a deep breath, Meteorite got back to her hooves and continued walking, hoping to find something soon.

---

'Soon' wasn't coming fast enough.

The day was wearing on with the sun again making its journey downwards, and Meteorite's hoofsteps had become slow and staggered. Head down and making sure she didn't topple over with each step, she had been weakened by a vicious combination of hunger, stress, and prolonged exercise in an unfamiliar body. The desire to stop and rest beckoned at her dreadfully, but in the back of her mind she knew she couldn't give in because she had to find something to eat, so she persuaded herself to keep moving, refusing to stop for any reason.

That was until she lifted her gaze and saw the ground before her rising up in the form of a small hill, upon which she slowed to a stop, a look of defeat on her face, and allowed herself to gently collapse to the ground. Any reason but a slight incline, it would seem.

"Fuuuck…" Meteorite quietly groaned as she lay on her side, "I can't stop now, but-" she gave a small whimper, slowly giving in to her body's plea to take a break. She could do that, right? She could rest for a bit, yeah?

Her stomach protested once again, the emptiness within now becoming bouts of pain.

Meteorite groaned as she slowly forced herself to her hooves. She stared vacantly at the ground for a while before regaining the strength to take a step or two, making her way up the hill. However, about halfway up, she spotted something on the ground and stopped.

Well, not so much on the ground, but in the ground. There was a small white flower growing out of the grass a few paces ahead, gently swaying in the breeze. Meteorite didn't know much about flowers, but she guessed it was a daisy. She blinked slowly, looking from the flower to one of her hooves, which she carefully flexed as an unpleasant idea took root in her mind.

I am a pony right now… ponies eat flowers, right? I… should be able to eat that… right?

Her stomach grumbled in agreement, making her frown as she stared down the flower. Taking in a deep breath, she hesitantly lowered her head down towards it.

It's food, it's edible, I'm hungry… it… can't be that bad, right?

One more mental push and Meteorite found herself biting the stem in half, her body tensed up as she cautiously chewed. She waited for the terrible taste to kick in to make her retch, but it never came. Admittedly, the texture felt weird and the petals tickled her slightly, but all in all, it wasn't wholly unpleasant in taste. She relaxed a bit as she scanned the hill for more flowers.

Well, hasn't killed me. That's a plus. Can't believe I'm fucking grazing though, she thought as she swallowed, taking a few more steps up the hill towards another flower near the top. Still. Whatever. It's food, right? Meteorite bit down on the next flower, and slowly chewed as she casually surveyed the land from the top of the hill.

And stopped mid-chew as she saw rows of apple trees a short distance away, stretching into the horizon.

Pausing for a beat, Meteorite spat out the half-chewed flower on the ground and haphazardly scrambled down the hill. Slowing down only when she felt off-balance, she eventually reached the apple trees, and the wooden fence before them. She awkwardly stood up on her hind legs, and leant on the fence gazing longingly up at the apples. Unknowingly, her eyes sparkled at the sight.

If her mind had been clearer, she would've noted that the fence meant civilisation had to be nearby, but right now the fence only served as an annoyance barring her from the food she desperately wanted. Dropping her gaze to the ground, she was further annoyed at the lack of any fallen and easily obtainable apples. Of course it wasn't going to be that easy, she scowled slightly.

Regardless, the sight of the apples inspired renewed strength within her, and she clumsily pushed herself up to climb over the fence. She lacked any sense of grace though, so she ended up tumbling over the other side, her backside crashing up the side of a tree.

"Ow," she muttered, not really hurt. She rocked side from side, righting herself up and stared upwards at the apples, frowning. "I'm gonna have a rough time getting these apples… maybe. I'm not really sure… how to…"

Meteorite trailed off, looking down at the trunk of the tree. She knew applebucking was the way to go, obviously, but she was still skeptical she could actually do it. It looked easy enough though, so she had to at least try.

Turning around and planting her front hooves firmly on the ground, she lifted her rear end upwards and toppled over. She sighed in annoyance.

Undeterred, she got back to her hooves and lined up for another attempt. And another. And another. Eventually she managed to not only keep her balance, but make contact with the tree as well. A few more successful hits later, and a few apples wobbled enough to fall.

"YES, HAHA, GOTCHA!" Meteorite cheered as she unsteadily pumped a hoof in the air. She eagerly pounced onto the nearest apple, scooping it up between her hooves and began noisily gnawing away at it, savouring the taste of real, actual food. It wasn't long before she was discarding her fifth apple core, already onto her sixth apple, and that's when a voice spoke up suddenly from behind.

"What in tarnation?!"

Meteorite froze, mid-chew. She slowly turned her head, and saw looking back at her the very familiar orange earth pony, Applejack, wearing her large Stetson hat, a couple bushels of apples at her sides, and a look of apprehension on her face. For the pony before Applejack was a terrible sight; muddy from head to tail, mane matted against her coat, and hunched over apple cores with apple mush smeared around her mouth. At that point, Meteorite looked less like a pony and more like a Diamond Dog, especially with her wide-eyed stare.

Holy crap it's Applejack! Meteorite thought very calmly as possible. It's Applejack it's Applejack it's Applejack it's Applejack it's Ap-

"What do ya think yer doin'?" Applejack cautiously demanded, interrupting Meteorite's infinite thought loop. It took Meteorite a few more seconds to realise Applejack was talking to her. She nervously swallowed her mouthful and tried to speak.

"I…" she croaked, before abruptly becoming at a loss for words. Getting more out would have to take some time.

Comments

[hmaf43]

"I… don't feel like… just a bunch of words," she finally concluded quietly, imagining herself and her actions being written out, word by word. "But… what would that even feel like, anyway?"

This is pretty good. Existential crisis ahoy.