3 Days Later…
John looked at the yellow Pegasus over his fruit salad breakfast.
“So… you want me to go into town. To help you with your grocery shopping?” He asked.
"Yes, I have a lot to pick up and I don't want to miss my appointment with Rarity," She explained, while feeding the various animals. John was slightly impressed with how well she connected with them and understood what they needed. "If you could help out, that is if you want to, that would be good..."
Her voice got quieter as she spoke. John had begun to grow used to her social anxiety, and insecurities. He figured that for literally pulling him out of a burning wreck and patching him up, he owed her this much at least.
Over the past few days she’d nursed him back to health by giving him healing potions and food. She’d barely left the cottage since he’d gotten here, devoting her time to his health, which had improved dramatically. She was to kind and generous. John had to help her in return.
"Yeah, I can do that. What do you need?"
Fluttershy smiled, quickly trotted over to a small piece of paper on the counter, and held it up.
"Oh that doesn't look that-" John Started, but stopped when the paper unfolded, growing longer and longer. It was just shorter than Fluttershy's chin was from the floor. "... bad."
"Oh, you don't have to do it if it's to overwhelming for you! I was being stupid, I can take care of it." She said rather quickly while picking up the list and refolding it.
John blinked, realizing he'd been staring, and stopped her, "No no no, I can help you with that, it would be my pleasure, this is the least I can do." She smiled and handed him the list. John eyed it over, most of it was items like different types of food, medicine, hay, toiletries, things like that. Then he got towards the bottom of the list which listed 'new kitchen knives' and 'sledgehammer'.
John raised an eyebrow, "Why do you need knifes and a Sledgehammer?" He meant it out of curiosity, but it came off as more accusing then he meant. "Uh, if you don't mind my asking."
"Oh not at all! I need new knives as I cut so many fruit and vegetables for my animals I run through them much faster than other ponies do, and Harry broke the Sledgehammer a week ago. Helps him with his anger management."
Harry was the bear that pulled him out of the burning wreck that was his Spitfire, the fire which had been put out by other pegasi overhead. The broken and burnt warbird still lay in the backyard of the cottage, he was unsure if it would ever move again.
“Oh, and before I forget!” She said taking out a slip of paper from her bag, it looked like a claim ticket, “You’ll have to pick up a pie I ordered at sugar cube corner, because of my appointment. If it’s to much I can probably try and pick it up-“
John cut her off, “Fluttershy I’m more than capable of handling a pie. You worry about your appointment I’ll worry about finding these items.”
“Oh thank you! And I’ll bring this,” she pointed to his tattered flight jacket, “I’m sure Rarity would be more than happy to fix it up for you!”
John's shirt and trousers had been patched by Fluttershy, who had a great knowledge of sewing and repairing. He'd never have guessed they'd been cut away. However she lacked the material or the tools to repair his flight jacket.
“Oh you don’t have to do that,” John said a bit flattered, “It’s not like I’ll be needing it anymore…” he trailed off.
“Don’t be silly, it’s not a problem at all.” She said while folding the jacket and draping it over her back, “just don’t be too... surprised by Pinkie.”
“Who’s pinkie?” John inquired.
“She’s the mare who helps run sugar cube corner. She’s a close friend of mine. And very. Very. Hyper.” Fluttershy replied.
“I’m sure I can handle her.” John said.
“If you say so, the market opens in about half an hour. I’ll be back around 1ish, I’ll leave Angel with you. If you need anything, he’ll help you out.”
John turned his head to look at the bunny who was stuffing his face with lettuce. He stopped and gave a scowl at him, while slowly biting off a carrots end the crunch of the carrot filling the short silence.
“I’ll... keep that in mind.” A shiver ran down the back of his spine. Angel was an odd ball to say the least. But his heart was there for Fluttershy when she needed it.
“I have to get to my appointment with Rarity, I’ll see you later!” Fluttershy called as she trotted out the door.
“Alright,” John called back, “enjoy yourself!” When she shut the door behind her John leaned back in his chair. Then looked to Angel, the bunny still giving him the evil eye while taking another bite out of the carrot.
“You don’t happen to know how to play poker, do you?”
The rabbit cocked his head.
“Didn’t think so…” John mumbled taking an apple slice and chomping down on it. Seriously where the hell did she get this things? They tasted amazing!
John stood with Angel on his shoulder holding the list. Before them lay the market place. Stands full of just about every kind of food and kitchen equipment sat in 2 rows, on the far end there were several other types of items like tools and books. There wasn’t any meat options, though John didn’t think there would be. Angel bumped him on the head with his little paw and pointed to the list angrily, as if to say ‘get your head in the game, I want to go home!’
“Alright jeez, you’re worse than Yankee when he’s hungover.” John mumbled, rubbing the side of his head. He looked at the list's first item. Cabbage x6. He looked down the row to see a stand full of cabbages. Smiling he walked over to it. This would be easy.
The vender pony was occupied with another customer, an aquamarine unicorn with a lyre cutie mark. John waited patiently and when they concluded their business the mare turned around and went pale when she saw him, her whole eyes constricted severely.
"Uh... are you alright?" John asked.
She muttered something in surprise, John couldn’t quite make out what she’d said but it sounded like “A Human!?” Before she galloped off. John watched her disappear into the crowd. Many ponies had noticed him and were giving sideways glances to him, though none had reacted like that. He shrugged it off, perhaps he was a mythical creature or something to them, he thought sarcastically.
“… What the hay are you?” John turned to see the vender pony, an older earth pony stallion. With a sea green coat and greying brown hair. His cutie mark was, of course, a cabbage and a small shovel.
“A human. I’m not from around here.”
“I can see that… where are my manners, my names Lettuce Stew, and you are?”
“John May”
“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you, and I see you’re running errands for Fluttershy.”
John blinked in surprise, “What told you that?”
The old stallion chuckled and pointed to his shoulder, "That devil of a rabbit doesn’t go anywhere without Fluttershy. Now what can I do for you?”
Angel stomped his foot, and snorted effectively saying, 'Damn right'.
“Oh uh, I need some cabbages,” he looked at the list, “6 to be exact.”
“Right that’ll be 30 bits.” He said in reply and stared putting some cabbages in a bag.
“Right… bits.” John took out a coin purse Fluttershy had left for him and counted out 30 bits, he hoped, and placed them on the counter. The stallion gave them a look over before handing the bag to him.
“Tell Fluttershy I said hi, and here,” he pushed a few coins back, “you gave me 33.”
“Oh,” John replaced the coins, “sorry I’m… new to this.”
“Ain’t no problem. You have a good one.”
“You too mate!” John said, he’d admit it was a bit out of habit, he’d probably confused the older pony of his British slang.
He checked the list, “Where the hell am I supposed to get a sledge hammer at a farmers market…”
“Get your hammers! 10 bits for a sledge!” Called a pony on the far side of the market. How convenient.
John looked to Angel who wore an ‘over their dummy’ face. “How does Fluttershy put up with you?” John inquired, before walking towards the stand.
Suddenly a orange pegasus filly on a scooter towing a wagon with a white filly unicorn swerved past him almost running over his feet as he crossed over a intersection. John stumbled back, "Woah, watch out!" He called, as he regained his balance.
"Sorry!" Called the orange one, who didn't even bother looking over her shoulder.
"Bloody youths, John mumbled to himself.
Applebloom trotted with the creature into the market. Applejack had told them that they needed to pick up something from Sugar Cube Corner for dinner that night. AJ was already in the market at the family's stand and she waved to them as they passed.
“Ok, ah’ma need yer help carryin some things.” Applebloom tried to convey again, looking up at him.
"Du kannst genauso gut rückwärts sprechen, ich verstehe dich immer noch nicht.” He said in reply, “Ich werde dir einfach folgen...”
"Ah'ma take that as a yes," She said slowly, "My friends are gonna meet us there by the way, you'll like 'em!"
The creature didn't respond but followed her as she trotted down the road, Sugar Cube Corner was just ahead.
“And that’s one large frying pan.” John said as he crossed out the last item on the list. All that was left to do was go and pick up the order that Fluttershy had arranged with Pinkie Pie.
John stopped and looked at the directions on the notepad that Fluttershy had scribbled down for him.
“Ok so just take Hoof Road South, and take a left on Bucklebarry Road, finally hang a right up Batter Lane and I can’t miss it.” John looked at his watch. It had taken him 45 minutes to figure out which way was South, walk too far down one road, failed to figure it out till he walked out of town, retraced his steps, and found himself back at the beginning.
"Let's try this again."
20 minutes later, he'd found Batter Lane, ahead of him was a building that seemed to be made from sweets. Hansel and Gretel came to his mind upon seeing it. Outside there were 3 fillies, one was yellow Earth Pony with a red mane and a pinkish bow, another was an orange Pegasus with a purple mane, and the last one was a white Unicorn with purple and pink mane. They were chatting and playing around with a scooter and a wagon and didn’t seem to notice John as he walked past them.
John opened the door. A bell chimed. A cheery voice called out, “Welcome to Sugar Cube corner I’ll be with you all in just a second!” An odd springy sound came from the back rooms along with giggling.
“I’m here to pick up Fluttershy’s order.” John called out.
Suddenly a Pink Earth Pony appeared from outside John's peripheral vision, she had blue eyes, and a curly pink mane. She was super energetic, in a scary way. John wondered if she could fly just on her energy level. She was literally bouncing up and down.
“So you’re here to pick up Fluttershy’s order!? It’s a very special one she placed a week ago and I’ve been hard at work preparing it for the past few days! I have to say it’s one of my best pieces of work!”
Suddenly she was behind the counter, “I have it right here!” She pointed a hoof to the kitchen door. “You’ll have to wait though it’s still being iced by Mr. And Mrs. Cake.”
“Why am I not surprised.” John said to himself. Of course the bakers would be named that.
“Well DUUUH!” Pinkie exclaimed suddenly upside down in his vision. John jumped back, his hand instinctively reaching for his pistol in surprise. “They are the best when it comes to icing a cake! I may have learned the fine art from them. But their skills take the CAKE” she laughed at her own joke.
“How are you…?” John started to say. He was wondering how she was upside down and teleporting, but Angel laid a paw on his head, when John looked he shook his head. As if to say, ‘don’t bother we don’t even know’.
“Say, are you friends with this guy!? He’s waiting on Applejack's apple pie, you see their oven is under repair-“
John didn’t hear the end of what she said. She’d done her teleport thingy again and was now standing next to another human, her forearms draped over his shoulders, one in a pointing gesture. John had missed him when he walked him. But he hadn’t missed John. The German pilot looked up at him from where he sat at a table. A mix of fear and surprise on his face. As Pinkie still rambled about how oven models were really bad for baking.
“Du bist ein britischer Pilot...” he muttered in disbelief.
There was little doubt in John’s mind. He’d just found the German Pilot who killed William.
Oh dear. But nice work still!
Amazing read! Can't wait for more. Excellent work
uh-oh
UH-OH
And then he captured the Nazi, forced him to tell the ponies all his horrible crimes and he was deported to a pony gulag. All cheered. The end
Feels a bit rushed, still you are doing a nice job.
11478934
The nazis didn't actually do much (for clarity I am speaking about the individuals, not as a whole, the whole did a lot of messed up stuff), the average nazi was just a dude or chick that believed in nazi ideology, an average German soldier wasn't much different from an American soldier, he just had a different uniform and instead of praying to God he would think of how great his nation is. Not every nazi was evil, most of them weren't. But some of them were very evil.
11479143
Ok Goebbels
Oh no.
Also, recommend at least writing what the German is saying, but saying he is speaking German, so we the reader understand, but the characters do not.
Can't wait for the next part and see if they'll punch the crap out of themselves.
Brawl incoming?
11478950
How do you mean? The rushed bit.
11479184
You could just plug it into a translator Apple has a thing where you select something and translate it.
11479143
Exactly. In fact, like the average German citizen, they knew very little if any at all about the camps most assumed they (mainly Jewish citizens) were being deported to other countries, not mass execution camps
11479332
Yes, but having to translate every single german sentence does get quite tiresome for some people.
After all, it's what I do with my german story.
11479472
Well if it means anything, the next chapter will be the last time it is required
11479506
Nice.
11479143
Oh, there were religious types yoo. But Germany was mostly Catholic.
It started a bit low, but climbed to a solid slightly above average (which is much more then can be said about almost anything written here these days) if it keaps this quality then it's gona be a pretty good fic. But there is a crossroand here, with two paths. You (the author) can either go for the easy and well traveled road, or the much less traveled road with a bit more stones on it's way.
The easy road is the one where everyone just magicly accepts each other, there is only a minor conflict and everything is resolved peacefully without incident. That road is fucking boring.
The other road is a road where no-one accepts anything at first, there is a lot of cultural, ideological and physical conflict. When two soldiers who are at war meet, they kill each other. And while I am not saying they should do that, they shouldn't just say: yeah, you did some bad stuff, but I forgive you now. They shouldn't even just tolerate each other, remember, there was propaganda on boths sides, boths are the arch enemy to the other. This path, with lots of conflict is the path that makes a story good. Every story needs conflict, be it social, physical or otherwise, to succeed.
Yeah and there NEEDS to be conflict between the humans and ponies, every fic makes it so humans istantly trust them even if there is no reason to, there needn't (that's right not native speakers, I use needn't) be another ponies friendship simping fic. Make all three sides confused when the other does something, and angry if they do something else. Example: the german tries to explain one race above else policy, the American smokes, the German is addicted to heroine and possibly much, much more!
Don't take the easy part OP, please... or I'll kill this innocent puppy (seriously, I am very serious as indicated by my seriousness).
11480132
I've never seen a bigger wall of text here, not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
11480384
Oh shit… that gives me a lot to think about.
I was going to have the German be a nice fellow who just is trying to survive but I’m not so sure now. Applejack trusts him bc he saved applebloom fluttershy is a kind soul, she helps people. If you’ve read fallout Equestria she’s like Velvet Remedy who rather talk/help than go in guns blazing unlike her friend calamity.
As for pinkie: she’s pinkie. She’s going to play a relatively small role in this story. As for rainbow dash, rarity, and twilight rainbow isn’t going to be in for a while as she’s in the hospital, rarity will be more of a reference and twilight will not be trusting. Especially when the royal guards show up in search of these flying machines that shot up a tower of the castle.
I’m thinking of making this a trilogy, where we see the Germans invade Equestria with some sort of magic that leaked over between realms (Equestria girls) and the ponies forming a resistance until the Allies can locate the location of such a device. But now I’m not so sure I’m going to. Don’t get me wrong I love the feedback, but I also don’t want this to stretch out for years. This fic has already been in the works for well over a year now. And I’m starting to get writers block, should I make this a one off? Or should I make a trilogy?
11480706
Definitely a one off, if you give yourself more reasonable goal you are more likely to complete it and stay on it for longer. But if you like the finished product then you can just add something and make your sequel anyway.
Also, the German can still be a nice fellow, even nice people have conflicts. I actually think that making the German nicer than the American would be pretty interesting. But don't take my word for it... I know now I am supposed to say an example for how someone else said the same, but just don't take my word for it too seriously, I am just one dude who for all you know is an alien attempting world domination, it's your story, you know the best.
Most importantly however, make it reasonable, so many other fics fail just because they put the bar too high. You needn't a trilogy with 700 thousand word each to a make a fic. Don't try to make intricate plots of secret hate and scheming, less is sometimes more. So don't try to completely change your vision and rewrite more the half of the story, it's the little things that count. Not to mention that it would take probably another year.
Just don't take me too seriously, my opinion is infinitely less important then yours in this.
Seriously, don't take me so seriously as to even reread this, you don't even know me! (For anyone reading this later, I edited this comment and added this last paragraph later)
11480791
Thanks for that feedback, I’ve based this idea off of movies like In Enemy Hands and Into The White (highly recommend both) though those were considerably shorter in terms of story length. I’ll find a way to make this work. But in the mean time, hold off on the invasion of earth please
11480132
Sorry, I meant meth
11479506
Could have told me this. It's not a problem, I could just let the first part be German then () and put that into English.
Hit me up when the next one is ready!
11483126
Oh I thought I did (I’ve been inactive to write)
Seems interesting so far. Nice to see the interactions here.
11485592
it all good, just keep me up to date that's all.
Ohhh fuuck! This oughta end well!
"We want a chapter!" *Clap, clap, clap-clap-clap* "We want a chapter!"
11517541
Why thank you! I hope you stick around. I got great plans for these two pilots.
11518900
looking forward to reading them!
🇬🇧🤜🤛🇩🇪
Can’t wait to see how this goes!
FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT
This stuff got me excited
Your days of freedom and relaxation is numbered
11775607
wait me or John?