Generation 4: P-1 Grand Prix

by TundraStanza

Ch. 4: The Chariot

Chapter 4: The Chariot
---

Faster Than A Speeding Bullet and Missile Combined

The Loyal Mare Who Gave Up Her Womanhood

RAINBOW DASH!

---
"What the hay do you mean 'gave up her womanhood'?"
---

" 'I want to press the 'ON" button,' she said," grumbled the cyan Pegasus. " 'What's the worst that could happen?' she said. Augh, Pinkie Pie. Why are you so random?"

That device that started with a 'T' used some freaky magic to suck up every pony like a vacuum as soon as Pinkie Pie had touched that button. Now Rainbow Dash was in some copy of the cloud stadium in Cloudsdale. Except the construction was all wrong. Cloudsdale didn't need a cloud floor since all the Pegasi could easily fly to a nearby stand if necessary. Then again, this provided a nice resting place while she could try to figure out what was going on. Before she could begin to understand, however, an echoing voice interrupted her look around the place.

"Fillies and gentlecolts!" announced a rather familiar loud voice, "Now that all of the contestants have arrived, the P-1 Grand Prix Tournament may now commence! We shall be thy host Princess Luna of the Night. We shall relay, how-you-say, the play-by-play of the action. Ties of friendship will not save the challengers here. Every pony shall have the chance to release their pent up aggression and bottled grudges. The last filly standing shall win the tournament and the rights to the title of best pony!"

"A... tournament?" questioned Rainbow Dash with an eyebrow raised. "What are you talking about, Princess?"

"I'm not talking about anything," said another voice as its source fluttered into the coliseum. "I'm going to show you the punishment of a thousand suns!"

"Princess Celestia?" gasped Dash in shock. "Wait, punishment? For what?"

"Why the most immoral crime of all," answered Celestia. "Pretending to be something you're not: a colt."

"What do you mean?" snapped Dash now furrowing her brow in annoyance.

"Talking was never your style," sighed Celestia. "Let's just deal with this the old-fashioned way."

Round 1

Fight!

"The old-fashioned wa-OAH!?" yelped Rainbow as she narrowly flew out of the way of Celestia's horn.

"Hold. Still. And. Take. It. Like. The. Colt. You. Think. You. Are," grunted Celestia leaning in and out while attempting to jab Rainbow with her tip. Rainbow, however, was simply trying to avoid getting stabbed.

"Rainbow Dash is completely on the defensive!" hollered Luna.

"Okay! You've clearly gone crazy!" shouted Rainbow as she quickly flew upward and out of the way.

"You can't escape me that easily, 'Mister'!" called Celestia as she flew after her.

I don't know what's going on, but I can't just fly away forever, thought Rainbow Dash, I don't even know where I am.

She sighed, "I guess I'll have to..."

Dash made up her mind and started flying downward, picking up speed as she did so. Pockets of air starting gathering in a cone around her as her speed increased. Meanwhile, Celestia was gathering speed on the way up. Though, her acceleration was much less than Rainbow Dash's. Light was starting to join the bending mach cone surrounding Dash. Just as it looked as though Dash was going to receive the most painful impalement ever, she curved her flight path slightly to avoid the horn.

Time seemed to slow down momentarily as the two ponies flew right next to each other. The wind was muffled slightly by this perception. Wings were barely flapping. As quickly as they had entered this timeless moment, they exited it. A familiar explosion of light and sound flashed in Rainbow Dash's ultimate trick: the Sonic Rainboom.

While Dash's speed instantly doubled, Celestia was thrown off her upward trajectory and was sent spiraling out of control. Even her massive wingspan couldn't correct her flight path after flying right next to the boom. The fumbling princess landed right smack into a stadium wall. Half a second passed before she fell to the cloud floor. After slowing down considerably, Dash landed more gracefully a few feet away. She was surprised to hear three bells ring.

"How unfortunate," commented Luna. "Better luck next time!"

"Now, what the hay was that all about, Princess?" asked Rainbow Dash understandably miffed.

"Oh, good," said Celestia lifting her head. "You're back to speaking normally."

"I'm back to normal?" echoed Rainbow. "You were the one accusing me of acting like a colt, remember?"

"Hold on," muttered Celestia. "What we're saying doesn't add up at all."

"Huh?" interjected Rainbow while tilting her head slightly.

"Were we perhaps seeing illusions of each other?" wondered Celestia.

"Illusions? I don't get it," remarked Rainbow.

"That's enough chit-chat!" interrupted another voice via a screen-shaped image. "Hurry up and move on to the next match! By the way, keep in mind that only the winner may proceed."

"What the?" asked Dash. "You didn't tell me you had a twin, Princess."

"I don't," pointed out Celestia. "That doppelganger... who is she?"

"We won't find out just standing around," quipped Dash. "C'mon! Let's go!"

"Right!" agreed Celestia standing up. The two started to fly out of the arena. When they reached the edge, however, Celestia felt physically repelled. An unusual shock was sent through her body. But it wasn't as severe as an electrocution.

"What's wrong?" inquired Dash.

"There's... some kind of barrier preventing my leave," observed Celestia. "Perhaps this is how that impostor is ensuring her rule that 'only the winner may proceed'."

"Hmph," grunted Dash. "Fine, I'll just go on ahead."

"Be on your guard, Rainbow Dash," advised Celestia.

"Heh, I'll be fine," justified Dash. "If I can beat a princess in battle, then what chance does that faker have?"

"Fair enough," chuckled Celestia as she watched Rainbow Dash fly ahead.

---
Get ready!

The Xenophobic Farm Hoof Of Honesty

APPLEJACK!

After crossing some weird nonexistent plane of separation, Rainbow Dash found herself flying over a grassy field. Random apple trees were positioned all over the place. Dash noticed what looked like Applejack and flew over to see her. When the earth pony turned and saw Dash, however, her expression was not what was expected.

"An outsider?" shivered Applejack. "I gotta drive her off the farm!"

"Has every pony lost it?" Rainbow asked rhetorically.

Round 2

Fight!

The two ponies were almost immediately in each other's personal space. They kicked up a huge dust cloud that covered up most of their punches and kicks. A few seconds later, Dash flapped out of the fray while Applejack slid backward a few feet. There were a few obvious scrapes along their sides, but nothing very major. In fact, Applejack didn't even hesitate to pull out her trusty lasso before tossing the loop at her opponent.

Rainbow Dash was ensnared by the rope just behind her wings. She could still flutter, but against AJ's earth pony strength, she wasn't flying anywhere.

"Oh, you want to do this the hard way?" snorted Dash. "We'll do this the hard way!"

She briefly gave in to Applejack's pull to increase her own speed. Using that momentum, she flew around and literally started flying circles around her. Winds began to follow Dash's circular motion and her speed. Within a few seconds, a tornado had formed within the arena and lifted Applejack off her hooves. In letting out a yell of shock, AJ accidentally released her grip on the rope. This allowed Dash to fly more freely and exit her own tornado.

From a distance above, Dash began a quick, diagonal descent. Without her circular flight pattern, the tornado was beginning to dissipate. This in turn made Applejack easier to see allowing Rainbow Dash to collide with her with spot-on accuracy. Applejack's face was dragged across the ground as both ponies slid to a stop. The only thing that confirmed that this fight was over was the sound of three consecutive bells.

"Another win!" announced Luna, "Congratulations!"

The more pronounced injuries on either of the ponies instantly faded after the announcement. Rainbow Dash helped her friend stand back up.

"You all right, AJ?" asked Dash.

"I will be," confirmed Applejack. "Thanks."

"So, uh," hesitated Dash, "did you by any chance hear me say stuff that was... you know... uncool?"

"As a matter o' fact, I did," nodded Applejack. "But if I reckon rightly, I know you didn't really mean any of it."

Dash sighed in relief, "Thanks. Listen, I don't want to leave you here but..."

"I know. I know," dismissed Applejack. "Just watch yourself, ya hear? This is a strange place."

"Heh," smirked Dash, "don't have to tell me twice." The Pegasus flew off through the next barrier.

---
Who do we have here?

The 3000-IQ Killjoy Librarian Of Magic

TWILIGHT SPARKLE!

Without any explanation, Rainbow Dash found herself fluttering inside a room that looked similar to the library's interior. But this was clearly not Ponyville's library. For starters, the bookshelves were all blue. The books that lined the shelves were alternating black and white with no visible titles. To top it off, various hourglasses and statuettes floated through the air in random directions. The only thing relatively normal was the appearance of Twilight Sparkle. But that image of normalcy was quickly demolished.

"I am surrounded by idiots!" yelled the unicorn as she started charging up energy in her horn.

"Not you too," groaned Rainbow Dash at the realization that yet another of her friends had completely lost it.

Round 3

Fight!

The starting bell had barely rung before Rainbow was zipping around dodging blasts of magenta magic. Oddly enough, the blasts did little to no damage to the book shelves around her. Instead, the books just seemed to follow their own agenda and flapped their pages like birds in seemingly random directions. Rainbow didn't have time to wonder which part of freaky town she had entered. After all, there was still the matter of her friend trying to shoot her down with magic.

"She just can't get an opening!" declared Luna's voice.

It was at this point that Rainbow saw a most welcoming yet simultaneously out-of-place sight. A perfectly gray rain cloud was just floating there. She didn't waste any time flying over despite the constant fire of magic that Twilight was wasting in one sitting. Thinking that perhaps a good shower would wake up her friend, Rainbow jumped repeatedly on the the cloud as quickly as possible. The result, however, was not quite what she was looking for.

"Looks like thou shouldst not have done that," remarked Luna.

In a sense of weightlessness, Dash was immediately caught on the wrong end of a levitation spell. Twilight shook herself dry which in turn swung Dash around. Against her efforts to fly out of it, the spell flung the Pegasus into a few bookshelves and the floor. Dash felt like there was something burning every single muscle in her body at this time. She breathed heavily as she watched Twilight charge up magical energy.

"No," whispered Dash, "Twilight... don't."

"Is the end near?" asked Luna rhetorically.

As a much larger magical blast erupted from Twilight's horn, Dash felt the burning sensation even more. However, it was no longer hindering her. In fact, it almost felt like the burning was... giving her an rush. This wasn't just a sugar rush from one of Pinkie Pie's treats. This was... well, she didn't know what to call it. But in that instant, her old sense of confidence returned to her.

"That's it! All bets are off!" Rainbow Dash shouted.

A single flap of her wings felt so overwhelmingly powerful. It was more than a feeling, though. A huge, swirling gust of wind formed itself after a few beats from her wings. It looked kind of like a giant, sideways tornado. Whatever it was, it was holding off -- no pushing back -- the magical surge that Twilight had just unleashed. Barely two seconds had passed before the unicorn was blown away by the gale force winds. Twilight found herself conked into the shelf behind her before falling flat against the floor.

The rushing feeling left Dash as the end bells rang.

"What a turnaround!" exclaimed Luna.

"Twilight!" hollered Rainbow Dash as she flew across the room. "Are you all right?"

Twilight grunted slightly before moving to stand, "Y-yeah, I'm all right. But wow, I had no idea you had that kind of power."

"Me either," admitted Dash, "I just found out about it."

"This world has strange rules attached it it," mulled Twilight, "like how it forced you to keep telling me to back off from Applejack."

"Yeah, and how it forced you to call me an idiot," added Dash. Both of them shared a lighthearted laugh at that.

"Wait... what about Applejack?" inquired Dash.

"Um, well," paused Twilight trying to think of the best way to explain it. "Do you... like her, like her?"

Now, Rainbow may have been slow on understanding egghead terms, but she recognized an innuendo when she heard it. At this her eyes dilated briefly before she waved her hooves defensively.

"Oh, no, no, no," she insisted, "I don't like her that way."

"So that was the illusion talking," sighed Twilight in relief.

Adding urgency to awkwardness, a screen-shaped image appeared next to the two ponies in the room as Luna's face flickered within it.

"Hello? Can any pony hear me?" she asked.

"Princess?" responded Rainbow and Twilight simultaneously.

"I don't have much time," worried Luna. "I've been kept here in the Announcement Room by a fake Celestia and... oh Tartarus." The princess's image was immediately snuffed out as was the projection.

"I'd better get going!" declared Rainbow.

"Be prepared for anything," advised Twilight.

"Heh, tell me something I don't know," chuckled Rainbow as she flew through the next invisible barrier.

---
We have a new challenger!

Everything about this one is a complete mystery!

????

Various panels and switches flickered in lights of red, white, and yellow. Small screens flickered with static occasionally. A few clicks and whirs were drowned out by the sound of Rainbow Dash's swift flying. She immediately applied air resistance when she saw the princesses in the room. A listener could have sworn that they heard a carriage's breaks screech against the ground as she forced herself to a halt.

"How's it hanging, Princess Luna?" chirped Rainbow.

"Lady Rainbow Dash!" gasped Luna.

"A splendid job making it to the top," promoted 'Celestia', "You must be so proud."

"Cut the act, faker," scoffed Rainbow, "I know you're not the real princess."

"Heh... heh... heh," slowly chuckled the impostor as a swirling purple mist surrounded her form. When the mist finally parted, a coal black alicorn wearing midnight blue armor was all that was left.

"It can't be," whispered Luna.

"What? Did you think I was truly gone forever?" asked Nightmare Moon rhetorically.

"Nightmare Moon," growled Rainbow.

"Oh good," mocked Nightmare Moon, "the foal remembers my name. How cute."

"What're you up to?" demanded Rainbow.

"Oh, I've already accomplished what I'm up to," smirked Nightmare Moon. "The Elements of Harmony have nearly wiped each other out in combat. Even Celestia was forced to submit. Now all that remains is the brash and impulsive so-called Loyalty."

The dark mare's mist started swimming around the air wildly as her hooves levitated off the floor.

"All shall bow to me or face eternal despair!" she cackled.

"Over my dead body!" retorted Rainbow Dash putting up her hooves as if she were a kick boxer.

"If you insist," breathed Nightmare Moon.

"Rainbow Dash!" exclaimed Luna.

"Don't worry, Princess," urged Rainbow. "This faker won't know what hit her."

Final Round

Fight!

---
Egocentrism -- Self-confidence -- Conviction -- Anxiety