• Published 28th Jun 2021
  • 2,287 Views, 49 Comments

Metal Bat: Equestrian Adventures - The reluctant fan



Badd was having a perfectly fine night with his little sister Zenko when a monster breaks in and warps them to an unknown land. The worst part? They've been turned into tiny horses!. Badd wishes he was old enough to drink.

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Chapter 8: Journey to the Elements

Author's Note:

So, fun fact, I finished about 70% of this chapter shortly after I released the last one, and then left it unfinished until now. I ran out of both time and motivation to write this one. College started up and has been kicking my ass, and this chapter wasn’t fun to write mainly because it’s just a rehash of the trek through the Everfree. I had a hard time figuring out how to incorporate Badd into the encounters, especially the last two. Still, I hope it’s at least worth reading. The next chapter will be more interesting I promise.

Badd and Zenko opened the door to the library and were greeted to six mares huddled around a book.

“There are seven elements of harmony, but only six are known. Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, Loyalty, Honesty, and Courage. The seventh element remains a mystery.”

“Hey, uh, are we interrupting anything?”

The six mares looked up to see Badd and Zenko standing in the doorway. “Badd! You’re alright!”

They rushed over to him and bombarded the hero with questions.

“Did you beat Nightmare Moon?”

“How are you so strong?!”

“Are you okay?”

“What’s your favorite flavor of pie?”

Everyone looked to Pinkie. “What? It’s an important question!”

“Relax, I’m fine. The bitch got away from me though. Lost sight of em after they left town hall.”

Applejack went over to Badd and Zenko and ushered them inside before shutting the door. “Well Twilight here was tellin us bout these Elements O Harmony. Apparently they’re strong enough ta beat Nightmare Moon.”

“Yes, it says that the last known location of the elements was in the ancient castle of the royal pony sisters. The castle is in what is now known as the Everfree Forest!”

The mares all froze in shock and fear. Badd simply smirked. “So it’s close huh? Then they shouldn’t be a hassle ta get.”

The mares, bar Applejack who knew him well enough all turned to him in shock. “What do you mean?! The Everfree is one of the most dangerous places in Equestria! It’s overrun with monsters, the weather is completely unpredictable, and there’s a ton of dangerous plants there!”

Badd shrugged. “Doesn’t seem that bad ta me. I go in there every day ta keep my skills sharp. Those timberwolves make for great batting practice.”

The mares simply stared at him as if he were insane, but then remembered that he had gone hoof to hoof with Nightmare Moon and came out of it unscathed.

Twilight coughed. “Well given what you’re… capable of, I really don’t think we should use your experiences as a basis. In any case, the elements are located in the Everfree Forest, so that’s where I’m going.”

Twilight began to walk towards the door, but stopped when she noticed the others following her.

“Look, I really appreciate that you’re all willing to help, but I really should do this on my own.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “No can do sugarcube. There’s no way we’re letting you go inta that dangerous place alone. Ain’t that right?”

When she got nods of confirmation, she turned back to Twilight with a grin. “Ya see? We’re stickin with ya ta the end.”

The lavender mare sighed and hung her head. “There’s no talking any of you out of this is there? Fine. Let’s just get this over with.”

Badd stoped Zenko from following the others out. “You stay here Zenko. This could get dangerous. I’m already nervous about the others coming along, but I don’t think they’d take me doing this alone too well.”

“Aww! I want to see the castle!”

“Don’t you remember how we got tailed through half the forest by those wolves the last time you were in there?”

“Yeah… I get it. Just make sure to tell me all about it when you get back!”


Badd and the girls stood at the entrance to the Everfree forest. Twilight gulped. “Well, here we go…”

The group of ponies slowly trudged into the Everfree. They looked around cautiously, apart from Badd who just rolled his eyes.

“Ugh, this place is so creepy! Just look at it!”

“Plus this place ain’t natural. Ponies say that it don’t work the same as the rest of Equestria.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Rainbow smiled sinisterly. “Nopony knows! You know why? Because it’s said that whoever enters the Everfree forest, never comes out!”

“Rainbow, you’ve seen me go in and come outta here literally every day.”

“Come on Badd, I’m tryin to spook em a little!”

“Why? They’re already on edge as it is.”

At that exact moment, the entire cliff they were on collapsed and everypony besides Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were sent falling down a cliff. The two pegasi gasped and raced down to catch them. Fluttershy caught Rarity while Rainbow caught Pinkie. Applejack managed to snag a branch with her mouth, but let go to help Twilight when she saw her dangling on the edge.

“Applejack! What do I do!?”

The orange mare glanced below them and sighed. “Let go.”

“Are you CRAZY?! I’ll die!”

“No ya won’t. Everything will be fine. I’m tellin ya, just let go.”

Twilight gulped, before letting go of the farm pony and falling below to her certain doom… if she weren’t caught by Fluttershy and Rainbow.

The six mares regrouped on safer ground and sighed in relief.

“Wait a minute… where’s Badd?!”

A distant thump was heard from below the cliff and they gasped in horror.

“Oh sweet Celestia! He fell!”

Rainbow Dash raced down to the bottom of the ravine and saw Badd getting up from where he had fallen.

“Great… I got twigs in my hair and my jacket’s all ripped.”

Rainbow sighed in relief, but at the same time she was awed.

“Dude! That was a fifty foot drop! How are you okay?!”

“Huh? Oh, I’ve fallen farther. There was this one monster I was fighting on a tower and it threw me off. Fell a couple hundred feet to the ground.
The thing decided to come down to gloat thinking it had killed me. Needless to say the bastard was missing it’s head a second later.”

Rainbow blinked and chuckled nervously. “Man, Have I ever told you how glad I am that you’re on our side? Anyway, let’s get you back up there. The others are worried sick.”

Rainbow flew Badd back up to the group and he was bam added by hugs of relief.

“Hey! Get offa me! You ponies are way too touchy feely for my tastes!”

The mares let go of him and giggled. “Sorry, we’re just so glad you’re okay!”

“Yeah yeah whatever, let’s just get going before anything else goes wrong.


The seven ponies continued their trek through the forest. Rainbow was recapping the events of the cliff incident in ‘dramatic’ detail. “And then me and Fluttershy swooped in and saved your butts!”

“Yes Rainbow, I was there.”

Badd groaned and gave the rainbow maned pegasus a glare. “This is like the third time you’ve been over this. I get you're bored but can you please for the love of god be quiet?”

Rainbow chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of her neck. “Sorry, guess I have been repeating myself a bit…”

Badd suddenly stuck a hoof out to halt the others. “Wait, I hear something.”

All of a sudden a great beast with the head of a lion, wings of a dragon and tail of a scorpion jumped out of the bushes.

“A manticore!”

Badd smirked and gripped his bat. “Finally, something I can smash!”

The manticore roared and pounced at Badd, but he jumped out of the way and smacked it in its side, sending it skidding back a couple of feet. The beast growled in pain and tried to skewer its attacker with its tail. Badd blocked it with his bat and followed up by slamming his bat down on the stinger, breaking it off from the tail. The beast howled in pain and reared back. Badd smirked. He brought the bat up over the manticore’s head and swung down.

“WAAAAAIIIT!”

Badd reangled his bat to slam into the ground next to the manticore at the last second. The impact kicked up dirt and cracked the ground around it.

“What?! Can’t you see I’m in the middle of something?”

“Don’t hurt it! Let me help it!”

Badd gave Fluttershy an incredulous look. “The thing is trying to kill us! Why would it need help?!”

Fluttershy didn’t answer, instead she walked up to the manticore. The beast slunk back growling, expecting another attacker. It raised its claws as Fluttershy got closer but stopped when the pegasus nuzzled its paw.

“Shhhh. It’s okay.”

The manticore looked like it was about to swipe its claw done on her, but it flipped its paw around to show a sharp thorn embedded into it.

“Oh, you poor little baby.”

Badd’s eye twitched.

“Here, this might hurt for just a moment.”

Fluttershy plucked the thorn from the beast’s paw, and it roared in pain. The others reared back in fear and Badd got ready to defend her. He stopped when the manticore picked Fluttershy up and began licking her face.

“Oh! You’re so very welcome. You’re just a big kitty cat aren’t you?”

Badd sighed. “Damn it! Now I just feel bad.”

Pinkie giggled. “Ooh! I get it! Because your name is Badd, so you feel like yourself!”

If looks could kill Pinkie would’ve been dead thrice over. “Not. Helping.”

Twilight looked at Fluttershy in confusion. “How did you know the manticore was hurt?”

“I didn’t. Sometimes we just need to be shown a little kindness.”

Badd blinked. “Guilt gone. Rage slowly returning.”


The group of ponies continued their trek to the castle. Rarity groaned. “Ugh, my eyes need a break from all this icky muck!”

They promptly walked under a canopy and fell into darkness.

“…well I didn’t mean that literally.”

Twilight groaned. “The ruins could be right in front of our faces, and we wouldn’t even know it!”

Applejack’s hoof stepped down and a squelching sound came from it.

“Ugh, ah think ah stepped in somethin.”

Fluttershy promptly screamed in horror.

“What? It’s just mud.” Applejack walked up to a tree and jumped away in fear. The girls looked all around them and saw that the trees had grown faces. They huddled around each other in fear and screamed.

Badd watched this with a look of utter disappointment. “How are you all this big of wusses?”

Rainbow looked at Badd. “Wait, why aren’t you scared?!”

“They’re fucking TREES Rainbow. They can’t even move, let alone hurt you.”

All of a sudden, they heard laughing. They looked to see Pinkie giggling and making faces at one of the trees.

Badd stared in confusion. “Well, it’s better than screaming in terror I guess.”

Twilight looked to Pinkie in shock. “Pinkie! What are you doing? RUN!!!”

Pinkie giggled again. “Oh girls? Don’t you see?”

Badd listened in horror as music started playing from nowhere and the pink mare began to sing. Eventually, the other mares fear ebbed away and the started singing along too. They laughed at the trees and the faces disappeared, after a couple of minutes they stopped singing and fell down giggling.”

Badd bit back a disgusted look. “….ooookay! That was the worst three minutes of my life. Can we get going before I lose any more testosterone?”

The mares looked at him and chuckled awkwardly. Except for Pinkie who continued giggling. “Right! The castle! Let’s get going.”


Still in high spirits, (except for Badd who was trying to permanently wipe the past ten minutes from his mind) the group continued on until they ran into a raging river.

“How are we going to cross that?!”

At that exact moment, hysterical sobbing could be heard from down the river. The ponies went to investigate to find a sea serpent thrashing around while sobbing uncontrollably.

“Oh what a world what a world!”

“Um, excuse me sir, what’s wrong?”

“Oh, it’s simply awful! I was just sitting here, minding my own business, when this tacky purple cloud whizzed past me and tore half of my perfectly kempt mustache clean off! Now I’m hideous!”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Seriously? That’s what this is about?”

Badd grunted. “This guy’s the definition of a bitch baby.”

Rarity scoffed at Badd. “How rude! How could you be so insensitive?! Just look at you! Your fabulous luminescent scales!”

“Oh I know!”

“Your expertly coiffed mane!”

“Oh I know I know!”

“Your fabulous manicure!”

“Oh it’s true!”

“All ruined by your mustache!”

“Oh it’s true I’m hideous!”

Rarity narrowed her eyes. “I simply can’t let such a crime against fabulosity go uncorrected!"

The elegant mare marched up to the serpent and plucked one of his scales off. She then proceeded to use it to cut off her tail and fit it onto the serpent's snout.

“OH, my mustache! How wonderful!”

“You look smashing!”

Badd raised a brow. “Did you really just cut off your own tail to give him a mismatched mustache?”

“Oh, don’t worry about that darling. Short tails are in this season. Besides, it’ll grow back.”

“So would the mustache!”

The serpent took that moment to speak up. “Well regardless, it was the act of generosity that mattered! You ponies are trying to cross the river aren’t you? Allow me to help!”

The serpent adjusted his body to let the group across, and waved them on their way.


As the group of ponies came upon another clearing, a dilapidated structure came into view.

Twilight gasped. “There it is! The ruins that hold the Elements of Harmony! We made it!”

Badd smirked. “Yeah, that sure seems to fit the ancient ruins feel.”

“Come on, let’s go!”

Twilight ran towards the castle, and promptly fell off a cliff. She yelped in surprise and fear, before being caught by Rainbow Dash.

“What is it with you and falling off cliffs?”

“Aheh… whoops? I really should be more careful. But how are going to get across this gap?”

Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Duh, have you forgotten that there’s pegasi here? I’ll just fly down and fix the bridge up. I’ll be back in a jiffy!”

Rainbow flew down into the chasm and back up. She started tying the bridge, before three figures emerged and began talking to her.

“Oh no! Are they trying to trick her?”

Fluttershy gave a meek smile. “I’m, maybe they’re just trying to say hello?”

Just then, one of the weird ponies glared over at them and obscured the group’s vision with fog.

Badd growled. “Yeah, that’s a hell of a red flag, I’m going over there.”

Twilight widened her eyes. “Are you crazy? That’s a 15 foot… actually never mind, it’s you we’re talking about.”

Badd got ready to jump the chasm, but just as he was about to get a running start, Rainbow came back across, revealing the bridge to be rebuilt.

“Oh. Damn, I was looking forward to kicking their asses.”

“Rainbow! You’re back!”

Rainbow scoffed. “Of course I am! I’d never leave my friends hanging!”

With the bridge operational, the group crossed the gap to the ruins.


Upon entering the ruins, the first thing the group noticed were six stone spheres sitting atop a strange statue.

“There they are! They must be the elements!”

Rainbow and Fluttershy flew up and brought the elements back down.

“But there’s only six! Where’s the seventh one?”

Twilight trotted over and leaned down. “The legend says that when the six elements are present a spark will cause the seventh to be revealed!”

Badd grunted. “This legend really couldn’t be less vague about it huh?”

“Don’t worry, I have an idea. Stand back everypony.”

Twilight sat down and began to focus her magic. Applejack motioned outside.

“C’mon y’all, she needs to concentrate.”

Badd rolled his eyes. “Oh yeah, leaving her inside the creepy castle alone when moon bitch could come in at any second and attack her. Great idea.”

Applejack was about to retort, but stopped when she noticed a swirl of mist come in and wrap itself around the elements.

“Wh-what the?!”

The mist swirled into a twister, enveloping the elements and creating a gust of wind.

Twilight gasped. “No, the elements!” She jumped in to grab them, and both she, the mist, and the elements disappeared in a flash of light.

“Twilight!”

Badd snarled. “Shit!” Was all he said before bolting towards the stairs leading higher in the ruins, the five mares following behind.