1281719 Thanks for letting me know about that. Guess I got a little too wrapped up in writing the story and submitting it, I forgot to edit it. Its a little embarrassing. Its been edited now, so it should be better. Let me know if anything else is out of order. 1281759 1281962 Gad you both are enjoying it so far!
Hmm so far so good.
There is no need for you to rush the story like you said.
Pick a tense and stick to it, please.![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
This needs heavy editing.
Not bad so far though.
I like it!
![:flutterrage:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/flutterrage.png)
MOAR!
Moar!!!!
....please
that was a good chapter though
1281719
Thanks for letting me know about that. Guess I got a little too wrapped up in writing the story and submitting it, I forgot to edit it. Its a little embarrassing. Its been edited now, so it should be better. Let me know if anything else is out of order.
1281759
1281962
Gad you both are enjoying it so far!
Funny as hell that he ignored his stomach for a thousand years, I bet as soon as he starts to eat he gets interrupted.![:pinkiesmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiesmile.png)
MOAR!!!!!!!!!!![:flutterrage:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/flutterrage.png)
Still a few errors, Ctrl+F for "is" and "hears."
Well I like it.![:pinkiesmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiesmile.png)
Love it so far.
more more more more more
Keep it up, however I hope you don't make him TOO friendly with the ponies...
Again please indent the paragraphs, but just like before great chapter.![:rainbowhuh:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/rainbowhuh.png)
Also what is his armor and weapons?