Criticism, this chapter was honestly VERY difficult to follow, everything was just thrown at us one right after the other, with no breaks in between. No clean break where the dream ends and goes back to the waking world, no clear breaks in between different characters speaking making it difficult to tell who is saying what, multiple actions taking place within the space of a few words. And that's just what was most noticeable to me.
I mean I was able to get the barest gist of what was going on, but I had to work for it to get even a rudimentary understanding of the plot.
11045600 Thank you very much for your time and criticism, tomorrow I will flesh this out a bit more and work on making sure there is a clear break in between for you to adjust to it. Wouldn't want you guys to be confused or anything. ^^ I do appreciate it and hope for future criticisms on my future chapters as you are helping me out. ^^
Yep this is getting good and im looking forward to the next chapter
Criticism, this chapter was honestly VERY difficult to follow, everything was just thrown at us one right after the other, with no breaks in between. No clean break where the dream ends and goes back to the waking world, no clear breaks in between different characters speaking making it difficult to tell who is saying what, multiple actions taking place within the space of a few words. And that's just what was most noticeable to me.
I mean I was able to get the barest gist of what was going on, but I had to work for it to get even a rudimentary understanding of the plot.
11045600
Thank you very much for your time and criticism, tomorrow I will flesh this out a bit more and work on making sure there is a clear break in between for you to adjust to it. Wouldn't want you guys to be confused or anything. ^^ I do appreciate it and hope for future criticisms on my future chapters as you are helping me out. ^^
11045600
Train wreck
KINGUKURIMUZON!!!
Gonna mellow things out with the next chapter and help things be understood so that the chapter after can continue the flow.