Bronygeddon

by pjabrony

Chapter 3

Applejack finished sweeping up the path to Sweet Apple Acres. She had done extra work keeping it ready for the guests she had expected. The plan had been to use the farm as an open-air classroom for integrating the humans into Equestrian life. When they came in slower than Twilight anticipated, it had been more one-on-one than general classes. Now, finally, the first organized symposium was being held.

Applejack had joked to herself that, if it had been given a title, the discussion could have been called, “The Food Chain and You: How to Eat and not Get Eaten.” She was pleasantly surprised that no human had yet been killed by any of the native creatures, but she attributed it to them being too busy.

Bushels of apples were scattered around the area. From the rumors around, some of the humans had been barely getting by. Applejack hoped to provide a nutritious meal as well as information. Already humans were filing in and sitting down. She finished inking a sign saying “help yourself” and putting it by the bushels. A few of them took the apples.

“All right, let’s all gather round here,” she said. Everyone was ready to pay attention, having gotten so few chances to see the characters they knew from watching the show.

There were no pegasus people present, and only a few magical bronies who were obsessive about attending every event.

“Now, listen up,” Applejack said, “I can see you all enjoying my apples. Well, they’re not just for the eating. The cores might help you start being self-sufficient. I know that some of you are natural gardeners, but even for those who aren’t, your earth human powers should give you an edge in making sure that you’re always fed, and giving you some cash crops as well.

“If apples aren’t your cup o’ tea, which I don’t see how could be possible—“ She kicked up an apple and bit into it to emphasize her point. “Feel free to hit up just about anypony for seeds, bulbs, or cuttings. They might ask you to return the same after you make your first harvest, but you ought to be able to do that.”

The humans in the audience looked appreciative. They didn’t have any paper, but they made mental notes about what was being said.

“There’s also techniques for tilling, planting, weeding, and harvesting that probably none of you know about. It won’t be quite the same for you as it will for ponies, but if you show me what you’re doing, I can correct you to make it easier. I’ve got a whole field here that’s fallow, and it’s all yours.”

Now the appreciation turned to skepticism. Although no one wanted to say it, they felt like they were being hit up for free labor.

“I’ll pay you well for your work,” Applejack continued. “We’re looking for ways to get bits into your pockets, but we don’t want to just give them to you. When this field is turned over, you’re going to feel that you’ve earned your pay.”

Alex looked around at the other people working. For the first time he felt like an expert. When Applejack came over to him, she found very little to correct. He took it upon himself to serve as an assistant, helping the others with their own plots. He had been farming ever since he came to Equestria, and continuing his practice of giving away anything more than what he could eat.

He saw the girl next to him being particularly awkward with the tiller. What was her name ? Ophelia? No, Olivia. He remembered being near her during the First Emigration, as they had taken to calling it. He started turning over some of her area while Applejack’s back was turned.

“Hey, what are you doing?” she asked.

“Well, I’m mostly done with mine, so it looked like you could use a little help. You’re obviously not a farming earth human.”

“I’m not an earth human at all.” She let go her tiller and kept it going magically for a few strokes. “But I felt that I needed to learn about growing things too.”

“Why?”

“Because I really want to understand the ponies. When we watched the show, we only saw a little piece of what their life was like. We kept trying to fill in the rest with the cues we could see, but the fact is that they have a whole different way of life from ours. They’re not nearly as specialized as we are, I think. Everyone on Earth does one job, and it all fits together in a system, but when one or two people are on their own, they suffer for it. Ponies can each handle things on their own, and ironically that makes them better friends.”

Alex leaned on his hoe. “I wouldn’t know about all that. Where you from, anyway?”

“California.”

“I’m from the Midwest. Well, I guess I was. Now I’m from Equestria.”

Applejack sidled up to the two of them without notice. “Hey, you two!” she said, “Slacking off?”

“No!” said Olivia, startled. But Applejack and Alex looked at each other and laughed.

“It’s all right,” said Applejack. “I know it’s hard work. You can’t just keep repeating the same motion over and over. Your body won’t take it.”

“Yeah,” said Alex. “Humans always figured that you could. Like those Therblig people.”

Applejack and Alex got to talking about some of the intricacies of farming, and Olivia listened as the conversation went over her head. Just as Alex wasn’t used to being the expert, she wasn’t used to being out of the loop.

Alex, meanwhile, found in Applejack a kindred spirit. He walked around with her to some of the other humans working, swapping stories about growing and hearing advice on how to manage the money end of the farm.

“If you remember,” Applejack said, “we were always in danger of losing the farm or not being able to afford something or other. But I’ve really straightened things out around here, and getting paid for doing the show didn’t hurt either.”

“You got paid for that?”

“Not enough to make me rich, but enough to allow me to move in higher circles. And speaking of which,” she pointed a hoof toward the gate where Rarity was making her way onto the farm. Excusing herself, she went over to greet her friend.

Olivia had gone back to work, but when she saw Alex’s reaction to Rarity, she chuckled and said, “Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies.”

Alex blushed. “Was I really showing it that much?”

“Yeah. It’s just Rarity. You’ve seen her dozens of times on the show.”

“I guess it’s different seeing her in person. Er, in pony.”

Meanwhile, the two ponies had moved off to the side and were engaged in private conversation.

“So, what brings you round?” Applejack asked.

“I wanted to see how you were conducting your instructions. I’m supposed to be giving the basics of magic to a group of magical bronies later on, and I’m looking for some tips. I’m not Equestria’s best teacher, you know.”

“Aw, you’ll do fine. All of the humans are eager to learn and they darn near love us too. You’ll have them eating out of your hoof.”

Rarity opened her eyes wide as she remembered something. “Speaking of which, I need to borrow a bushel or two of apples from you. I want to teach them a finding spell and I’ll need objects to hide for them.”

“You’re following the directions about getting some food to them too, huh? I’m a little uneasy about it. They’re not pets after all.”

“No, but they have been pampered on Earth. Too much disconnect between their work and their rewards. If we can teach them a life lesson at the same time that we’re teaching them how to use their powers, so much the better.”

Applejack walked among the earth humans again, offering correction and advice. At the other end she kicked a basket of apples into the air and deftly caught it on her back, sliding it over to Rarity.

“Hey, wait a minute!” she said. “I thought your spell only worked to find gems. How are they going to use it on the apples?”

“See, now that’s exactly the sort of thing they need to learn. My gem-finding spell is for the gems that are just lying in the ground waiting for somepony to claim them. That’s very specialized magic. But finding something that you just left lying around, that you have a general idea of where it is, and that you know what looks like, is magic on the level of moving things with your horn. Anypony can learn it. And I’m hoping that the humans can too.”

Rarity thanked her and went on her way. She passed right by Alex’s work area, and he took the opportunity to sneak one last look at her. He took a deep breath.

Olivia shook her head. “What is it about her?” she asked when they were back at work. “Do you read a lot of Rarity clop or look at her R-34 pictures or something?”

“No!” Alex said. “it’s not like that. I guess it’s hard to explain.”

“Why don’t you try anyway?”

Alex stopped his hoeing again and leaned in. “OK, like I said, I’m from the Midwest. A small town, the kind where people are born, grow up, get married, go on Prairie Home Companion, retire, and die. Kind of the real-world equivalent of Ponyville, you know?”

“What do you mean, real world?” Olivia said with a smirk.

“OK, original world. Don’t interrupt. So when I started watching My Little Pony, I could really connect with Applejack as a farmer, and with Rainbow Dash as a hard worker, and with Fluttershy being around animals. But what really hooked me in and made me a brony was when Rarity had her fashion show. Remember, with Hoity Toity and she made the bad dresses first?”

“Of course.”

“I guess I was fascinated because it was so different. But then also there was the time that she went to Canterlot and got invited to all those swank affairs. When you’re from a small town, you think of the big city folks as snooty or stuck-up. But Fancy Pants wasn’t. And neither was Rarity. But she rose above her station as a small-town pony.

“I figured that if I really tried, I could become a gentleman, the kind of man who could live up to someone like Rarity. For some reason, the idea of hobnobbing at a fancy party like the Grand Galloping Gala really seemed like an unattainable idol, don’t ya know? Of course, with that Minnewegan accent, they’d always know me for what I was. Still, I can dream, right?”

“Well, you can be a gentleman farmer. Then you merit the title at least,” said Olivia.

“Well, that’s the other thing. My family isn’t exactly rolling in dough. My mother’s a widow, and my father didn’t leave her much to live on. A pony like Rarity wouldn’t look twice at someone without money.”

“Now, what’s all this gossip?” Applejack had snuck up on them and injected herself into the conversation. “In the first place, why aren’t you workin’? In the second, what’s this I’m hearin’ about Rarity being all fussy over money? Why, there ain’t no pony in town as generous as her, and no foolin’.”

“Applejack,” said Alex. “Do you never feel the pull of the upper class world? You tried to make it in Manehattan once. Did you really find it all bad.”

“I’ll answer you if you turn that earth while I’m talkin’.” Alex smiled and dug his hoe into the ground hard. “To be perfectly honest, no, I don’t have any desire to go back to that highfalutin part of Equestria. I can tolerate that kind of scene, but it’s not something I seek out. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not keepin’ my eye open for a better life. Wherever you go, you’re either movin’ up or movin’ down. There ain’t no standing still. If you try to stand still, you’re just going to fall behind while everyone else is movin’ forward. That don’t mean that you’ve got to find new friends or even leave your home. But I does mean improving yourself.

She trotted off again to help other students, and Alex and Olivia were left to converse again.

“She’s right, of course,” said Alex. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I want to move up in society, even Equestrian. I just feel like I know all this already, you know? Like playing the same level in a video game over and over.”

Olivia reached into her pocket. “You know, Rarity’s class is invitation-only. Probably any magical brony who wanted to could show up, but I think she just liked designing the invitations. Here.”

She held out an embroidered card with fancy script lettering. It described basic instruction for magical bronies to be held at and around Carousel Boutique at a given time.

“I can’t take this!” said Alex. “If I do, you won’t be able to go.”

“I’ll do catch-up work later on. If indeed it isn’t stuff that I already know.”

“But I can’t participate in that class. I’m not a magical brony. All the wishing and longing won’t make a sow’s ear into a silk purse.”

Olivia got angry. “Hey. Don’t compare earth humans to sows or their ears. I’m no better than you for being magical, got it? I’ve lived the other side of that all my life, and I refuse to be a party to more class differences.”

“All right, but I still shouldn’t go to the class. When they find out that I can’t do magic and snuck in anyway, they’ll all laugh. Rarity will laugh at me.”

“Quit making excuses. You know that’s not the case. If you were the type of person who was afraid of other people laughing at you, you’d never have watched My Little Pony in the first place. You’re going to go and you’re going to have a good time, no matter whether or not you learn anything.”

Alex reached out and took the invitation. “Thanks. And thanks for what you’ve said before. Yes, I’ve known the other side of class differences too.”

“And now you’ve seen both sides.”

Alex started to go back to work, but then a thought hit him. “But so have you now. I mean, magical bronies aren’t an advantageous class over earth humans, and neither are pegasus people. But you thought they were. Or at least, you took offense when I tried to rag on myself. If you’re not careful, there will be earth humans who will assume that you are looking down on them, even if you’re not.”

“I guess you’re right. Class warfare only hurts everyone involved, the top as well as the bottom.”

***

Rarity’s seminar was as welcoming and fun for Alex as Olivia had predicted. No one, human or pony, paid attention to any other’s work, and Alex, working by grid search, was able to find one of the hidden apples before the last magical brony had developed her spell to do so.

Once he was done, he sat with the others and just lounged, munching on the apples. He continued his staring at Rarity, though now it was more out of attempted emulation than awe. He tried to watch her poise and carriage and see how he might act sophisticated in his own way.

“Come now, dears. You’re all doing quite well. And don’t feel bad if you can’t do this spell. That just means that there’s plenty more magic out there for you to discover.”

She turned right to Alex, and he had to blink to hide his stare. But it turned out that she wasn’t looking at him at all. “Is that Princess Celestia?” she said.

“Season two, episode nine, ‘Sweet and Elite,’ used as a distraction for the fancy ponies during her party-switching montage,” Alex said to demonstrate his encyclopedic knowledge of the show. But then he noticed everyone else bowing.

He turned around and nearly smacked face-first into a pastel rainbow of mane. Stumbling to his knees, he lowered his head and averted his eyes, just in time to here Celestia’s mellifluous voice say, “Please, everyone, stand up. There’s no need to be so ceremonial. We’re all just friends here.”

Alex was equally awkward in his rise as he was in his bow. With his mood of looking up to sophisticated ponies, he turned his gaze from Celestia to see that Princess Luna had accompanied her sister on the visit.

When everyone had stood, paying no less attention, Celestia said. “It’s wonderful to see you all at last, and w—but sister, perhaps you would like to explain?”

“Thank you,” said Luna. “We are here to welcome you formally to Equestria as well as to witness your progress and see how we may spread the good ideas you are developing here to other parts of the world as more humans immigrate.”

Alex muttered to himself, “I see she never got over using that royal plural.” He didn’t think that Luna could have heard, but her eyes went right to him, and she continued in a loud voice.

“We—that is to say, Princess Celestia and I—were under the impression that this was an instruction for those adept in the active forms of magic. But we—again, I presume to speak for both of us—are glad to see you being so inclusive. Perhaps you would join me for a private discussion, earth human?”

Everyone’s eyes looked around to see who she was addressing, but Luna just walked through the crowd, no longer singling anyone out.

Princess Celestia remained in the doorway of Carousel Boutique. She was giving a formal welcome speech. “I am very glad that you have chosen to make your new homes in Equestria. And I am also happy to say that soon you will be joined. . . “

Beyond that, Alex heard nothing. He had ducked out of the crowd and followed Luna toward the road. When they were alone, he tried to apologize. “Please, your highness, I didn’t mean to insult you. It was purely in fun—“ He cut himself off. Speaking first was the wrong thing. Stupid, he told himself, you’re only digging yourself deeper.

Luna was glowering at him, but in a flash she changed her expression to one of playful amusement. “I don’t mind the jest. Believe me, far worse things have been said about me over the years. Rather, I admire your boldness, insinuating yourself among the actively-magical when you are not. Are you that impressed with magic?”

Alex half-nodded at the question, before realizing that it was a test of honesty. “No, Princess. Magic I can take or leave. But I really wanted to see Rarity. I look up to her so much, with her sophistication and elegance.”

“Please, feel free to call me Luna.” She trotted ahead and faced him head on. For the first time, Alex realized how much larger she was than him. “We are, I hope, going to be good friends. You see, I have a request for you.”

Alex was a little stunned. What could such a powerful creature require of him?

“A second wave of human immigrants is set to come in to Equestria very shortly, and will settle near Canterlot. We are looking for someone who will liaise with them and ease their transition. Do you think you are up to the job?”

“Huh? Absolutely! Unless this is one of those things where I’m supposed to say that I don’t think I can do it, and you say that that’s proof that I can’t, but if I say that I’m too nervous and inexperienced, then you say that those are the exact qualities you need, in which case, then I can’t do it.”

Luna gave a melodic laugh. “There’s no trickery involved.”

“Well, what do I have to do?”

Two days later, Alex found himself on a stage outside of Canterlot, wearing something similar to a royal guard uniform made over for a human, and giving to two thousand people essentially the same speech that Twilight Sparkle had given to the first batch of immigrants, but adding in more information.

“So much of the wait, at least on this end, for accepting more people, is that the ponies are a little wary of us. Remember that they’ve seen all the major events of our world. Just imagine judging humanity by what you see on the nightly news. But they’ve also given us this chance, because they believe that there’s some good in us, and we don’t want to prove them wrong. We’ve passed most of their tests, in being able to build a sustainable life for ourselves, as well as being willing to give and accept help when needed. So don’t ruin our record.”

He continued, reading mostly from cards. He was not used to public speaking, and was not particularly in the mood to try to picture the crowd in their underclothes. He remembered Luna’s coaching on how to engage when speaking.

“The problem that speakers have,” she had said, “is that they can think much faster than they can speak. So you need something to burn off your excess mental energy. Have something else in your mind when talking. Get a song stuck in your head. Concentrate on your gestures and tone of voice. Then your speech, which will not be your main focus, will sound natural and not be rushed.”

He had the perfect subject to distract himself: Rarity. While he was going on about settlements and acclimation, half his mind was thinking about her. He wished that she had come to see this. Dressed up, addressing a crowd, everyone listening to him. It might be the first step toward the high life that he admired.

“All of you are beginning a new life, and that brings challenges, but the good part is that you have not made a one-way commitment. Any time you want, you can be repatriated to Earth. But the flip side of that coin is that if you want this life, you have to earn it by being true to yourself. If the choice to leave is always there, it means that every day you must choose to stay.”

And wasn’t he in the same situation? The choice to stay in Equestria was easy. He had only been back to Earth for a total of an hour in the months since the convention. Just enough time to talk to his mother and agree that this was the best thing for him. He would have left home soon enough anyway, to college or work, but now he was pursuing the future of his choice. The nature of that future was still at issue.

“You will also have help that we did not. The people of Humantown will be willing to answer any questions you have and will offer techniques on how to build and maintain your village. But you will still have the opportunity to make it your own. Indeed, we’re hoping that it comes out better than ours, since you’ll be residing in the shadow of the capital!”

Might he not abandon his Humantown farm and start over one more time with these people? Couldn’t he join the Canterlot elite, or even that of whatever the human annex was to be called?

“But however you build, and however you integrate into Equestria, I must stress again that everyone and everypony expects you to make us proud of the title ‘brony.’ Thank you.”

That was the answer. However he went with his own quest, he had to make his own name a source of pride. Perhaps it was not yet time to abandon Humantown. Moreover, he was sure he did not want to abandon Rarity.

When the speech was over, Alex shook hands and conversed with the newcomers until it was time for him to take the train back to Ponyville. He was a little surprised to see Olivia meet him at the station.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

“Nothing, I was just eager to hear news of Earth. Did you talk to the new immigrants?”

Alex sniffed and breathed out. “Yeah, I did. Let’s see. As far as actual headlines, nothing much happened. No major wars, no terrorist attacks, no celebrity deaths.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to hear about those anyway. I left Earth to get away from that. What about the other bronies?”

“Well, Twilight’s spell at the convention really scared the stuffing out of the protest groups, so they haven’t done anything, and are kind of retrenching. And a lot of the bronies themselves are working hard on getting to Equestria, but it’s not that simple. They have families and jobs. Some of them are trying to show My Little Pony to their family members in the hopes that they can all come here together, while others are trying to arrange communication and travel schedules. And there are those who put in their notice, but they work in sensitive areas. You’re not going to have a nurse who takes care of the elderly up and leave just because he has a chance to move to Equestria.”

“No, of course not,” said Olivia. “That would be going against everything we’re working for,”

“But replacements can be found eventually. I think that the immigration is going to start ramping up fast and soon.”

“How many bronies are there now? We may need to know what kind of an influx we’re looking at,”

Alex thought for a second. “It’s hard to say. Maybe about one in twenty in the English-speaking world, a little less in Europe, Latin America, and East Asia. There’s just so many places that the show hasn’t been aired, either because of repression or that they just don’t have the technology.”

“Yeah, that’s a shame. I guess what I’m worried about is what happens to Earth if half the population decides to leave. The ones who are left will be the ones who don’t have our powers, and they’ll be hard put to get by.”

They had walked through Ponyville as they chatted. As they reached Humantown and prepared to go their separate ways, they turned to the west to see the sun set. Alex pointed and said, “We do have the powers, and a leader who we all accept, and we just barely made it ourselves. Don’t underestimate people. We’re tough and we adapt. I have full confidence that Earth is going to stay strong and grow beside us. It’s been around a long time, and it’s not going anywhere. In fact, once the bronies are gone and it’s back to the way it was, it might even be stronger, the same way you prune a plant to make it grow healthier. Once they realize that, they’ll probably want to help all the bronies come to Equestria.”

Comments

[Slaughterstone]

But what happens as the number of those left Bronies left on the earth falls? How will their antagonists react as those they villainize slip beyond their reach? What of the greedy who look at Equestrian and see what they want and think they can take it by force? How long before someone stirs the masses truly against them and they must fight for their freedom?
Or it could all be peaceful slice of life from now on... Why do I doubt that.

I'm going to quote Frederick Douglass, "If there is no struggle, there is no progress."

[Leante]

A it was said above, this had potential. Point for interesting idea, but heroes actions somehow made me side with "haters".

[chrismonteith]

amazing