Bronygeddon

by pjabrony

Chapter 2

“First thing I want to get back from Earth is a box of number twos,” Luke said.

“I beg your pardon?” said Julie.

“Oh, no. Ew. I mean pencils. I like to think with a pencil in my mouth, and I can’t do that with a quill.”

“And what are you trying to think of?”

Luke stood up and went to the window. Three months into its existence, Humantown’s first rainy week had finally ended, and it was rather cooler than it had been, and it was still overcast. “We’ve got most of the basics,” he said, “but I’m trying to think of some modern convenience that we had back on Earth to bring here. I was considering air conditioning, but we don’t much need that now that the rains have come and gone.”

“Do we really need that? For that matter, would the ponies allow it? To me, it seems that one of the virtues of Equestria is how much it’s not modern.”

Luke leaned back. “I understand what you mean, but if we have gone back in time by a century, technologically speaking, then we’ve also gone back to an old way of doing business. I can’t very well join a construction union here. And if I’m going to build roofs, I’m going to have to learn thatching instead of shingling.”

When they lived on Earth, Julie was content to let Luke manage their money. He gave her an allowance for household expenses, and she kept within it. He never spoke about any ambitions beyond what they had. Now, though, she sensed what he was going for.

“You’re saying to want to run a business?”

“Well, put that baldly, it sounds scary. But I don’t want to join the weather patrol or the delivery service or anything that pegasus ponies do. I can’t help feeling that I’d be a novice among experts. I’m too old for that.”

“You’re not too old,” said Julie. He gave her a kiss for the compliment. “In any case, whatever you do, I’ll support you in. And if need be, I’ll join the weather patrol.”

“I don’t want you to have to work. It’s my responsibility to provide for the family.”

“And that’s why I have confidence that you’ll succeed. Here, in a clean world where opening a business isn’t as complicated, hard work is going to be more important than connections, or even smarts. You’ve never been afraid of work. But trying to work for yourself means sacrificing the present for the future. If I can help by lessening that sacrifice, I want to do that.

“Well, it’s all academic until I have something to do. I mean, I could open a bakery and try to compete with Sugar Cube Corner, but I don’t know much about baking, and I couldn’t get up the good will they have in the community if I had twenty years.”

He looked out the window. “I’m going to take a flight. I can’t think with all these clouds overhead anyway.”

He walked outside the melted-wood cabin that he had designed and built. It had passed the test of the rain and showed no leaks, but Luke had felt cramped within it for the past week. He leaped in the air and pumped his wings.

When he reached the top of the clouds, he had to shield his eyes from the sun. It threw him off for a moment, and he sat on the cloud to get his bearings. From behind him he heard gentle laughter.

“Hey, buddy. You want to keep your head down when you break through a layer. You need some flight lessons?”

Luke turned and tried to focus on the voice with his dazzled eyes. He made out a spectrum mane.

“Rainbow Dash?”

“The one and only! I knew that helping out with those transmissions to the Earth would pay off. All the humans know me.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Luke.”

Protocol was still growing between humans and ponies, but a wave of hand and hoof had begun to develop as a greeting when a handshake was impossible.

“So what were you saying about flight lessons?” he asked.

“I give them. I run a flight school now. I figure I’ve got an in to all the pegasus people who come over, even though immigration’s been slower than I expected. And of course, there’s lots of pegasus ponies who want training as well.”

“So you don’t make the weather anymore?”

“Who said I don’t? It’s always good to keep steady income coming in when you’re operating a concern.” Rainbow punctuated this by jumping on the cloud, dislodging a few raindrops.

Luke scratched between his wings. “Funny you should say that.”

“Why’s that?”

“Oh, it’s nothing,” he said, but Rainbow had an inviting look, and he felt free to open up to her. “I was just talking to my wife about finding a business opportunity here in Equestria, and she was saying that she wanted to work to help me through it.”

“Sounds like a great plan. What business are you going to run?”

“I wish I knew. Want to teach me everything you know about flying so that I can compete with you?” He smirked at Rainbow.

“Nice try. But I’ll give you one lesson for free, how about that? Call it a promo to get you to sign up for more.”

“Sweet!”

Rainbow directed him to stand on the cloud, then forcibly corrected his posture. Luke wondered if she was really competent as an instructor, or if she was just trading on her reputation. She seemed content, at first, to lead by example, and he was hard-pressed to keep up. Several times she looked back and shook her head, expecting him to understand what he was doing wrong. Twice, she slowed her own flight and let him catch up, only to slap him on the rear end.

“You don’t have a pretty tail like mine to drag behind you, so keep your backside down! It’s only creating drag.”

He was stunned that she finally spoke to him, but listened intently.

“Remember!” she said. “Speed and altitude are your currency. You earn them by pumping your wings, and you hold onto them until you need to spend them. You don’t do work you don’t have to. And they’re interchangeable. A skilled flyer can actually gain height simply by gliding. The way you’re pumping is good for a newbie, because it’ll build your muscles, but it’s completely the wrong technique. Watch! My whole body cuts through the wind, while my wings draw the speed from it!”

She took off and left Luke behind. He was amazed at how much acceleration Rainbow had. As she said, her body was a single, aerodynamic unit, and he could almost see the air moving around her wings. He even dared to hope that he might see a sonic rainboom, but just as suddenly, she spread out into a glide and turned back to him. Spiraling upwards, she called down to him. “Follow me!”

He tried to match her movements as best as he could. His own spiral had a much wider arc, and only got him up a third as high as Rainbow’s, but it was flying as he’d never done before. She came down and they sat on a tuft of cloud.

“If you’re really looking for some way to make a few bits,” Rainbow said, “there are a lot of life lessons you can learn by flying. A lot of the money that flyers make is from fairly new industries. Weather control used to be haphazard and random. Nopony knew when storms were coming, how to balance rain with sun, when snow was needed.

“You see, business is just like,” she looked around “. . . cloud layers! Way down at the bottom, you’ve got the big flat stratus. Those are the things that everypony needs, like farms, houses, and water. Above that, you’ve got the fancy cumulus clouds, things that we say we can’t live without, but technically could, like bakeries and clothing stores. And once in a while, you’ve got the high cirrus. Those are the ones that give you a real chance to make somepony’s life better, and make them a little happier. That’s what I want my flight school to be. We need all three, just like we need all kinds of clouds. Whatever you do, you’ve got to find your layer.”

“I think I see what you mean,” said Luke. “There were theories on Earth like what you’re talking about, trying to set up levels of human endeavor and desires. But they were awfully dry. I think you explain it better. Thanks, Rainbow Dash.”

“See ya round, kiddo!” she said. After seeing a seven-colored streak, Luke was alone on the cloud.

“Kiddo, huh?” he said to himself. “I’m older than her. But I guess in another sense, I’m not. She’s a veteran of Equestria, and I’m a newcomer. Maybe I’ve still got some years left in me.”

Without flapping his wings, he glided for home.

When he related the conversation he had had to Julie, she sat him down with his quill and paper again and encouraged him to try again to find something to earn his living from.

“Pardon me if this is a little What’s My Line, but are you thinking about dealing in a service then, as Rainbow Dash is?” she asked.

“Hmm. . . I’d like to have a stock in trade. Once I got the business up, it would be easier to expand if that were the case.”

“So then it’s a question of finding some luxury item that ponies—and human immigrants—will want to buy.”

“Exactly!” he said, scribbling three columns onto a scroll. “What I need to do is to classify all the things that we buy on Earth into necessity, nice-to-have, and pure luxury, and then I’ll find my business for sure!”

He pored over the paper, filling the columns as much as he could. He mentally pictured their old house and all the things it contained. Julie busied herself making something for them to eat. Since they had arrived, their diet was restricted to what they could find in the forest, but it turned out that natural foods in that part of the village were plentiful. The Ponyville ponies had even accepted some in trade, which was a way for them to help the humans without giving them direct charity.

“There’s a new wrinkle to the problem,” he said as she served them steamed vegetables. “So much of what we had on Earth depends on so much else. What’s the use, for example, of bringing blu-ray discs without the players, the televisions, and the movie studios?”

“I see your point,” she said. “Have you come up with anything?”

“Gold jewelry, for one. If you’ve looked at the ponies when they’re being fashionable, most of their stuff is based around gems instead of precious metals. But the problem there is obtaining the supply on Earth. We have a decent capital if we sell out everything, but gold is ridiculously expensive. I’d probably also need some kind of license to buy it in quantity.”

He kept at it for a long time. Night was falling before he took a break and sat with Julie outside their home. He sighed.

“Tired?” Julie asked.

“A little frustrated. Not even that, just anxious. We’re supposed to be building a new life here. I want it to start sooner rather than later.”

“That’s ‘eager,’ dear, not ‘anxious.’” Julie was a stickler for the correct word.

“It’s both. I’m anxious because of my eagerness. If I don’t come up with any more ideas, I’m ready to dive right in with the gold idea.”

“Really? But you said—“

“Julie, you know what the bane of business on Earth right now is?” He looked at her intently. “Stagnation. You remember when I worked for that guy Rick, right? He was losing money every month. He had all these ideas to make the business profitable, but he never pulled the trigger on any of them. He was always afraid that if the idea failed, he’d have to close. He never even took the actual step of closing. Just stopped making payroll. No, whatever I do, I’m doing sooner rather than later.”

“OK. I can see that. I do wish that we had some coffee. Maybe you should import that.”

He chuckled. “I’ll see if I can’t get some of the earth humans to start some crops. They can probably outgrow anything I can bring in. I do want to get that brass coffee pot that we have in the house. That was one memento we didn’t bring with us. It’s an antique.”

All of a sudden, he stood up and dashed into the house. Julie called after him, wondering if something was wrong. He emerged carrying the scroll he had brainstormed onto.

“Wait a minute!” he said. “That’s something I hadn’t thought of. We’ve got plenty of old tchotchkes, knick-knacks, and antiques around. I bet that ponies would love to buy them, and maybe a few humans too. And it works both ways!”

“What do you mean, both ways?”

“OK, let’s take that coffee pot of yours for example. Sure, it’s pretty, but it also boils water like nothing out there today. Ponies might drink coffee, maybe not. Doesn’t matter, the point is that it’s useful.”

“I don’t want you to sell that!” said Julie.

“It’s just an example. But let’s say it sells. I get some bits and buy some stuff that’s made here in Equestria. Other curios. And back on Earth, they’d fit right in to some of the antique shops there. You see? Each world places higher value on the other’s doohickeys.”

“And it has the added bonus of not making Equestria into an air-conditioned, modern world like the one we left. I knew you would figure out a way to satisfy both your ambition and me.”

He set about preparing for a trip to Earth. The Gate on the other side of Ponyville was still the only way to travel back and forth, but magical bronies, and the occasional unicorn, were always around to orient it to a given destination. Hundreds of spots on Earth now had public or well-known Gates of their own. Luke didn’t mind having to cross town on foot for this trip. He and Julie walked by the shops, as he was looking for something he could buy to start his plan.

He eventually decided on a set of quills and scrolls. “Maybe you can pitch them as like a tablet computer that doesn’t need power,” Julie joked. When they reached the Gate, he kissed her good-bye.

“You know, there’s one other aspect to this to watch out for, and I’m counting on you to keep me honest,” he said.

“What’s that?”

“Don’t let me become a pawnbroker. I’m not doing this to take advantage of anyone, human or pony, who needs money. I’m only going to buy and things that people want, not trade on desperation and misery.”

“I promise,” said Julie. “But I think it’s going to be an easy promise to keep. A gentle reminder, now and then, is all you’ll need. I don’t think you have it in your heart to become a thief.”

***

The most enjoyable part of Luke’s trip back to Earth was the trips he made to the curio shops he found, despite no one buying his quills and scrolls. The business he found success in was more tedious. He travelled to the bank and cashed out the accounts he shared with Julie, over the protestations of the teller and manager. He inquired about getting cash from the equity in his house, but found the loan officer full of prying questions. He went into a few realtors’ offices, but couldn’t seem to make them listen.

“No, I am not interested in selling,” he said repeatedly, “or rather, I am, but not through the whole real estate process of listings, title searches, all that hooey. I want cash, actual folding paper money by preference, and I want it today. Whatever you or anyone else will give me, and I’ll get out of the house. Live in it, sell it, I don’t care. I’ve sunk enough dollars into it that I’m ready to get some out.” It was to no avail.

He had better luck with his car. He took it to a dealer and got the same line about needing a big stack of paperwork, and wouldn’t he prefer trading it for credit toward a new car? On his way out, he met a fellow looking at similar models as his. Over the fuming protests of the salesman, he struck a bargain for a personal check of four thousand dollars.

With cash finally in hand, he hit the same stores that refused to buy from him. He made inquiries about things that they would like to have, and buttered them up by making several large purchases of his own.

After hauling it all back to his Humantown home, he sat down again with Julie. “The next thing I have to do is try to price all this stuff,” he said. “It’s some tricky math. See, I know what I can buy things here in Equestria for in bits, and I have a vague idea of what I can sell it for in dollars. If I play things cool on Earth, that part can be break-even or even make a little. But dollar profits all go into buying more stock. Our end goal is bits.

“So let’s say that on earth they want wrought-iron end tables, for example. I need to charge enough for a plastic lunchbox that I can buy one, plus profit for us to live on. That’s the number I want to charge. The only question is whether or not there are ponies willing to pay that.”

***

After three days, there was no more question. With only a table, a sign, and a cashbox, Luke had sold completely out of his stock. Ponies had paid the prices he had asked without question, and word of mouth had spread. From what he could gather, his sort of business was exactly what most ponies had been hoping to get out of the exchange. They had good, stable lives, and all they wanted were a few more friends and a few more conversation pieces. Luke was planning another trip, and had received several specific orders when he had discussed what he might acquire.

“I’m telling you it was the best half-week of work I’ve had, well, ever,” he said to Julie over dinner. With the bits he had earned, they were able to enjoy dinner out for the first time since they had arrived in Equestria. The restaurant owner had been one of his customers, and proudly displayed an Earth-made lamp in the window for ponies to see.

“I’m glad to see that you like it,” said Julie.

“I wish I could skip the next step, though, and go right to a bit-to-dollar exchange house. Maybe I’ll start up one when I have enough of both and can figure an exchange rate.”

“You’re only a few days into one business and you’ve already got another planned?” She smiled and raised her glass.

“I suppose I have. I feel like I could accomplish anything here, you know? It’s fresh country, in more ways than one.”

“I guess.”

Their food arrived, and, conscious of everyone’s eyes on them, they ate, looking only at each other.”

“What’s wrong?” Luke asked.

“Nothing.”

“Come on, I know you. Open up. No secrets in our marriage outside of birthday parties, we agreed on that.”

“I’m just always worried that it’ll get corrupted. The fresh country, you called it. It just strikes me that every time that sort of country has been found, sooner or later it becomes just like the old places.”

Luke sipped his drink. “You want to know something? You want to know why I’m glad we left Earth and why I’m reluctant to go back? Earth, as it is, is far wealthier than Equestria. But no one owns the wealth.”

“You mean, so few people own it.”

“No, I mean it literally. No one owns it. There are billionaires back home, right? How much do they actually have in the bank? How much can they actually spend? And the businesses they own, how much can they actually control? You see that pony there who owns this place, and was so nice to us?”

“Yes.”

“If he woke up one day and decided that this oat pasta was no longer to his taste, it would be off the menu that night. Nopony would contradict him. Not even Princess Celestia. This is a monarchy, and we were supposed to have lived in a democracy, and yet he has more power over himself than we have. Than we used to have, I should say.”

“You’re really passionate about this,” said Julie.

“You bet I am. Do you know how many contractors I worked for on Earth who were fools? If I could have competed with them on a level playing field, I could have outstripped them all. But they had connections and I had a conscience. That worked against me there. I think it’s going to help here. Honey, if I ever suggest selling a single share of stock in anything I do, have me taken to the hospital and put next to that pony who barks like a dog.”

***

Luke was not free from all temptation. Although he pledged to deal primarily with smaller operations who were more interested in the quality of the artifacts that he was bringing, there were a few large businesses he could not afford to ignore. On his next trip to Earth, after finding most of the special-order items on his list, there were still a few things he lacked. The buildup he had given things like stained-glass baubles and melmac kitchen utensils made him eager to have samples. So it was that he stood in line at a sprawling warehouse-style exchange house. He was grateful for all the security around with the cash that he had in his pocket.

The line that wound through the store promised a wait of perhaps an hour. As soon as he got on, though, Luke noticed that it was all people bringing in items to sell. Everyone had a guitar or some jewelry or some other life-long treasure that they were being forced to part with. He stepped aside and tried to find the line for purchases.

Once he reached the front, he overheard the conversation at the selling line.

“It’s all their fault, of course,” said a man trying to get a loan on a gold ring. “Had two of them at my job. You’d think that since they left on their own, that there wouldn’t have to be more layoffs. But here I am.”

“I don’t see how a few thousand people leaving could cause you to lose your job. There are plenty of people who leave the country,” said the teller.

“Maybe, but they don’t trigger ten more each to give up and start preparing to go.”

“Is it the number of people, or what they did?”

“Hey, we got by for an awful long time without magic and flying.” Luke closed his wings tighter around him. He was wearing a jacket, but anyone who looked could see that his torso was thicker than it ought to be.

“That wasn’t what I was talking about,” the teller said. “We had one here who quit, preparing to leave if he can. Good worker. Kind of guy who always had a smile, even on the worst days, ya know? Look, a workplace is supposed to be all business, but if people don’t enjoy it, they won’t work as hard. Maybe not how it used to be, but that’s how it is now.”

“Yeah, a lot of things ain’t what they used to be. So how about a hundred bucks for the ring.”

Luke found someone to take his money and authorize the removal of the items he had purchased. He made his way quickly out of the store. The line extended out the door by now, all the way under the Medici coat of arms.

Luke was quickly picking up the salesman’s instincts for knowing when there was someone around who might be cajoled into a purchase. As he set up for business, he felt a presence above him.

“Hey, Rainbow Dash! Come down and take a look at what I’ve got!”

“Well, looks like you’re doing all right for yourself,” she said. “Must have been my brilliant advice.”

“It might have been indeed.”

“So when are you going to come around for those flying lessons?”

Luke looked around. “Well, the money isn’t going to be a problem anymore, but there are a lot of ponies who count on me to be around here. They like coming by and browsing if nothing else, but usually they buy. Actually, I’m thinking of hiring someone to help out. Once that happens, you’ll be seeing me.”

“Awesome! So you think that you can make big money with this?”

“Who knows? But so far I’ve made enough to pay my way. And I’m my own boss. That’s what I like the best. Say, do you want to come round to dinner? My wife would love meeting you.”

Rainbow agreed, and Luke closed up his stand for the day. Julie was happy to set another place when she saw their distinguished guest. As the meal concluded, Julie echoed her husband’s gratitude.

“He’s a new man ever since you got a hold of him. Not that there was anything wrong before, but everything’s right now,” said Julie.

“Hey, don’t give me the credit,” said Rainbow. “Whatever I brought out, he already had inside.”

“Am I even part of this conversation?” Luke asked jokingly.

“Hush, dear. Women are talking, so it’s important,” said Julie. “We’re still thankful. Isn’t there anything that we can do for you?”

Rainbow put a hoof to her chin. “Well, Luke did tell you about my flight school, right?”

“No, what’s this all about?”

“You know, maybe you’re right,” said Luke. “This is girl talk. I’ll let you two get better acquainted.” He picked up the dishes and went to the water basin to wash them.

He could hear Rainbow and Julie talking and laughing, and hoped that they were becoming friends. When he finished the dishes, he went back in.

“I’ve signed both of us up for the full course,” said Julie. “We’re going to be top flyers as well as exemplary citizens.”

“Suits me fine. We can afford it. But I agree with you. We should do something more special for you, Rainbow Dash.”

“You don’t have to, at least not now. Maybe someday you’ll have an opportunity. I won’t ask you for it, but I believe in my heart that you’ll have a chance to prove your loyalty.”

Comments

[demanji]

kind of wanted to see more in construction but still the fact that just yesterday i finish all you had up till then and today there's a new chapter is just

[RubberBrony]

[Mossy Mare]

I like this. The business model seems sound, and it helps both worlds and hurts neither. I just hope that no corrupt earth businessmen make their way to Equestria.

[MyLittleBurger]

It's going along swimmingly, what could possibly go wrong...... I how if there was also some man or woman who had powers similar to Discord to a lesser extent, on how that would work out.....

[Dawn Treader]

This series is so awesome! Please don't stop!

[Dawn Treader]

PS you should consider making a movie of it! Think about what happened to My Little Dashie!