Ok, I just finished reading the first two chapters you published here and since this is a reimagining, I decided to give Version 1.0 a read.
This is really well done. I like the improved way that you started the new version, it shows real growth as a writer. In your old version you made the minor beginner mistake of describing every little thing. You improved as a writer and haven't made that mistake in the new version. Beginners often list everything the character is wearing and whats in each pocket of his cloths, or describing every single weapon on a vehicle and what direction its pointing in. While more seasoned writers will let the readers imagination fill in the details on their own. After all, readers imaginations always seamlessly auto correct any mistakes as new information comes out in the story.
So right off the bat, the new story is much better and Im actually looking forward to seeing where your going to take us.
Oh and I have to say, in the original version, the "I know what I'M doing / Luna gets shot in the head scene" Is hysterical. 5 points for that one. Im not sure that would transfer over well to the new version, but it was dam fun to read.
Keep up the good work,
The Monk “What else to do? How did people survive boredom in olden times? ... Oh yeah, lots of stabbing." -RushyFiction
10413493 The detail and consideration you've put into this is pleasantly surprising. You have my gratitude, and your comments will be taken into consideration moving forward.
10414857 All I can say for now is that it takes place between New Vegas and 4. Keep in mind, I'll be basing the story off the lore established in the West Coast games (1, 2, NV) more than the others.
10414959 Yeah I didn't really know what I was doing back then; I had only a vague idea of where I was going and no idea at all of how I would get there. I spent the time to think this one through, and hopefully it holds together.
So now here's the question who has come to the rescue... Is it A the smart vault dweller (FALLOUT 1) B Grug (Fallout 2) Or C. Lord death of murder mou- I mean the mailman.
Damn it! No matter how much I click it I can't give this story more than one thumbs up! WHY!!!
Seriously though, this looks like the start to a great story, I can't wait to read more.
10413458
Glad to know I haven't lost my touch. Hopefully I can keep up a consistent schedule this time.
Ok, I just finished reading the first two chapters you published here and since this is a reimagining, I decided to give Version 1.0 a read.
This is really well done. I like the improved way that you started the new version, it shows real growth as a writer. In your old version you made the minor beginner mistake of describing every little thing. You improved as a writer and haven't made that mistake in the new version. Beginners often list everything the character is wearing and whats in each pocket of his cloths, or describing every single weapon on a vehicle and what direction its pointing in. While more seasoned writers will let the readers imagination fill in the details on their own. After all, readers imaginations always seamlessly auto correct any mistakes as new information comes out in the story.
So right off the bat, the new story is much better and Im actually looking forward to seeing where your going to take us.
Oh and I have to say, in the original version, the "I know what I'M doing / Luna gets shot in the head scene" Is hysterical. 5 points for that one. Im not sure that would transfer over well to the new version, but it was dam fun to read.
Keep up the good work,
The Monk
“What else to do? How did people survive boredom in olden times? ... Oh yeah, lots of stabbing." -RushyFiction
10413493
The detail and consideration you've put into this is pleasantly surprising. You have my gratitude, and your comments will be taken into consideration moving forward.
i like what i see so far but to ask where are they in the fallout games areas as i only played fallout 4
Ah, so this was what you had in the mix. Melikie
10414857
All I can say for now is that it takes place between New Vegas and 4. Keep in mind, I'll be basing the story off the lore established in the West Coast games (1, 2, NV) more than the others.
10414959
Yeah I didn't really know what I was doing back then; I had only a vague idea of where I was going and no idea at all of how I would get there. I spent the time to think this one through, and hopefully it holds together.
When a new chapter?
10433534
Soon, hopefully. I got myself an editor and should finish the next chapter in a week at most.
So now here's the question who has come to the rescue...
Is it A the smart vault dweller (FALLOUT 1)
B Grug (Fallout 2)
Or C. Lord death of murder mou- I mean the mailman.