The Phantom Madrigal
“…So then Spitfire and I took Violet back to Smith’s Grove,” Adagio Dazzle told her sisters and housemates as she recounted her very notable evening up until this point to them. “We told Dr. Loomis what had happened once we got there and Violet was out of earshot, but she didn’t really say much back to us.”
Aria, Sonata, Su-Z, and Kiwi all listened intently to the eldest Dazzling’s tale from around the kitchen table, each of them feeling a sense of shock in their own right. For the two younger Dazzlings, their consternation originated from the simple fact that another love-sick girl had tried to hew herself onto their sister. For Su-Z, it was the extent of Violet’s love sickness that addled her so much. The PostCrush girl had long had a fear of going mad or losing her mind completely due to severe trauma or illness, and hearing Adagio’s story of how far Violet’s mind appeared to have fallen from sanity only made her feel more worrisome about the fragility of her own mental stability. And as for Kiwi, it was the fact that Adagio had lied to Violet about reciprocating the girl’s feelings for her that had her in such a strong state of stupefaction.
“After that Spitfire brought me back home and, well, here we are,” Adagio concluded her tale.
No one knew what to say after Adagio had finished speaking. Eventually the uncomfortable silence within the kitchen became too much for the Dazzling leader to bear, and she spoke up once more.
“Anyone have any questions?” She asked the other girls at the table in a desperate attempt for conversation.
“Um,” Sonata uttered as she slightly raised her right hand. “You…you said you weren’t serious about being in love with Violet, right, Dagi?”
“Right,” Adagio confirmed. “That was just something Spitfire and I told Violet so that we could convince her to go back to the hospital.”
“Unbelievable,” Kiwi uttered disdainfully under her breath, though not nearly at a low enough volume for it to go unnoticed by everyone else at the table.
“Something you want to say, Kiwi?” Adagio asked the elder PostCrush girl.
“No. Nothing at all,” Kiwi replied unconvincingly.
“No no, please. Speak your mind,” The Dazzling leader said back in a manner that was mild in sonority yet intensely baleful in tone.
Sensing the tension that was quickly growing between Adagio and Kiwi, the three other girls in the room all discreetly scooched their chairs away from them.
“You want me to speak my mind, Adagio? Fine, I’ll speak my mind,” Kiwi heatedly said as she stood up and practically slammed her palms down on the table. “I think the way you handled things with Violet was awful. Appalling even.”
“Is that so?” Adagio replied, her sonority no longer mild, as she too got up from her seat. “And how, exactly, was my handling of things with Violet so ‘appalling’?”
“It was appalling because you lied to and manipulated a mentally ill girl,” Kiwi answered the Dazzling. “You took Violet’s feelings for you, beguiled as they were, and exploited them to suit your own ends.”
“Yes, I did lie to and manipulate Violet,” Adagio capitulated, practically hissing through her teeth at this point. “But my ‘end’ was to get her back to Smith’s Grove so she could get the help she needs. I’d say that’s a pretty justifiable reason for lying to and manipulating her.”
As Aria, Sonata, and Su-Z continued to watch the feud between Adagio and Kiwi grow ever fiercer, the three of them each began to contemplate fastidiously leaving the table and retreating to another part of the house. But the more they thought of doing this the more they felt it prudent to not do so. None of them wanted to draw the attention of either Adagio or Kiwi as they left and risk subsequently getting drawn into their argument. As far as any of them were concerned it was far better to just remain as inconspicuous as possible, even if it meant staying at the table.
“Are…are you seriously saying that the ends justify the means, Adagio?” Kiwi asked the Dazzling, a mixture of anger and befuddlement evident within in her voice.
Much to the surprise of everyone at the table, Adagio let out a small chortle in response to Kiwi’s question.
“That’s a pretty glib interpretation, don’t you think, Kiwi?” Adagio replied amusedly, causing Kiwi’s anger to grow ten-fold.
“Excuse me?!” The older PostCrush girl said at a volume so loud it caused the other four girls in the room to instinctively wince away from her.
The room fell silent. None of the other girls at the table knew how to respond to an outburst as boisterous and heated as the one Kiwi had just delivered – Adagio in particular. The eldest Dazzling was unaccustomed to being spoken to in such an acrimonious manner. She was no stranger to it though, as on one or two occasions when she was younger her mother had been quite astringent with her. But those few instances hadn’t been enough for her to learn how to best react when finding herself on the receiving end of someone’s fiery salvo.
Fortunately for Adagio though, one of her sisters spoke up and broke the tension in the room for her before she found herself in a position of having to break it herself.
“Um, c-can we please stop all this fighting?” Sonata tentatively asked, sounding as though she were on the verge of tears.
Realizing how their arguing was upsetting Sonata – as well as Aria and Su-Z to a lesser degree – Adagio and Kiwi each looked off to the side in remorse, feeling that perhaps they’d taken their altercation a bit too far.
“Yeah, this whole argument is pointless,” Aria chimed in. “Especially since Kiwi’s kinda right about you messing up on this one, Adagio.”
“Excuse me?!” Adagio asked her sister incredulously as she turned her head around to face her.
“Uh, thank you, Aria,” Kiwi half-lauded, half-asked the pig-tailed girl, feeling happy that she agreed with her but also feeling slightly confused by that fact.
“Wait, you agree with Kiwi?” Su-Z asked Aria. “How can you agree with Kiwi when Adagio clearly made the right call with Violet?”
“Hold on, you’re with Adagio on this, Su-Z?” Kiwi asked her friend, finding it difficult to believe what she’d just heard the girl say.
“I’m sorry, Kiwi, but yeah, I am,” Su-Z replied. “Violet was in a dangerous place mentally, and she was a threat to herself and Adagio and Spitfire. She needed to go back to the hospital and I don’t think there was anything wrong with what Adagio did to get her back there.”
Kiwi said nothing in response. Her acute consternation over the fact that her best friend was siding with Adagio caused her to be incapable of articulating anything for a few seconds.
“Are you serious right now, Aria?” Adagio inquired of her younger sister. “I mean I know I promised you and Sonata that I wouldn’t lie to and manipulate people anymore, but do you honestly think that what I did to get Violet back to Smith’s Grove wasn’t justified given the circumstances?”
“What I have a problem with, Adagio, is what you told Violet to get her back to Smith’s Grove,” Aria informed her older sister. “I don’t think you should’ve told her you were in love with her.”
This came as no surprise to Adagio. After everything that had happened with Raven a while back Aria had been notably vocal about her disposition towards her lying and manipulating people, especially when those lies and manipulations involved someone’s feelings of adoration for her.
However, Adagio’s understanding of where her sister’s mindset was coming from didn’t change the fact that she believed it to be flawed.
“Well how exactly was I supposed to convince her to go back to the hospital if I didn’t pretend to be in love with her, hmm?” The Dazzling leader brazenly inquired.
“I don’t know, but I still don’t think you should’ve pretended to be in love with her,” Aria responded just as brazenly. “I mean I get that you did it because you thought once Violet was back at the hospital Dr. Loomis would be able to help her, but what if your assumption was wrong, huh? What if by pretending to be in love with Violet you just made her condition so bad that she’ll never be able to get over it?”
In truth, Adagio hadn’t thought about the possibility that her falsely reciprocating Violet’s feelings for her could worsen the girl’s already fragile mental state. But by this point in the argument, the Dazzling leader was too blinded by her desire to be right to care about that possibility.
“Oh that’s ridiculous, Aria,” She coarsely dismissed her sister’s theory.
“Excuse me?!” Aria angrily replied as she got up from her seat.
“How can you agree with Adagio, Su-Z?” Kiwi asked her friend, having just now regained her ability to say anything. “She lied to Violet, manipulated her.”
“Yeah, so that Violet could get the help she needs, Kiwi,” Su-Z sternly said. “Look, I’m not saying that things like lying and manipulating are good in-and-of themselves, but I do believe that there are situations like the one Adagio was just in where they can be used for good.”
“Oh spare me your dime-store philosophy, Su-Z,” Kiwi crassly instructed the girl.
“Excuse me?!” Su-Z said fiercely as she stood up.
By this point Adagio, Aria, Kiwi, and Su-Z were all talking over each other, making it nearly impossible for any of them to make out what anyone else was saying. Though unfortunately, this lack of being able to hear one another didn’t deter any of the four girls from continuing to argue. Each of them continued to try and make their point as loudly and as heatedly as possible, much to the growing dismay of a now lachrymose Sonata.
“STOP IT! STOP FIGHTING!” The youngest Dazzling tearfully pleaded as she got up from her chair.
Sonata’s blaring and sorrowful imploration quickly succeeded in ceasing the quarrel amongst Adagio, Aria, Kiwi, and Su-Z. Having been caught off-guard by the resounding request for calm, each of the bickering girls turned to face the pony-tailed Dazzling just as she brought her hands up to her face in an attempt to hide her distraught visage from view.
“Everyone just…s-stop fighting!” Sonata sniveled through her hands, right before she abruptly brought them back down and hastily left the room.
Within a few seconds of Sonata’s departure from the kitchen, the sound of a door slamming shut from down the hallway reverberated throughout the house, which Adagio, Aria, Kiwi, and Su-Z all assumed was the result of Sonata retreating to the seclusion of her bedroom.
As silence once again fell over the kitchen the four girls remaining within it simply stood around quietly while avoiding eye contact with one another, as not a one of them could think of what to either say or do next. Internally each of them felt terrible about having inadvertently caused Sonata such an enormous amount of distress, but externally they all remained indurated just in case one or more of the other girls felt like resuming the skirmish they’d just been having.
Fortunately though, no one resumed the skirmish.
“I’m going to bed,” Aria precipitously informed the room right before leaving it.
“I-I’m going to go check on Sonata,” Su-Z said somberly soon after, right before leaving the room as well.
Not long after Su-Z’s exodus Adagio followed hers and Aria’s suit and left the kitchen as well, though the Dazzling leader didn’t say anything as she departed. All she did was silently shoot a brief, unflattering glance in Kiwi’s direction as she passed by the girl, one that Kiwi couldn’t help but shoot right back at her.
“Hmph,” The PostCrush girl uttered softly to herself once Adagio had disappeared into the hallway.
Even though Kiwi hadn’t had any desire to continue arguing with her best friend and housemates, the anger and detestation that had brought about the argument in the first place remained isochronal within her as she stood alone next to the kitchen table. She didn’t know if this was because she was just incapable of overcoming these strong feelings at the moment or if it was because she wanted to hang onto them out of a sense of justification, but either way she didn’t really care. All she knew was that she needed to get out of the house for a while and put a little more distance between herself and everyone else for a bit.
And so, as if a woman on a mission, Kiwi made her way over towards the front door, opened it posthaste, and stepped out onto the porch.
“Aah,” She let out after taking in a deep breath of the brisk, nighttime air.
While the fresh air did help alleviate some of Kiwi’s abrogating feelings, it didn’t alleviate them by much. The PostCrush girl still felt very much upset. Figuring that perhaps she needed even more distance from the house, she stepped off of the porch and started making her way over towards the driveway. More specifically, she headed towards the van that was parked within the driveway, the van that she and Su-Z had been sleeping in not too long ago.
As Kiwi slowly made her way over to the nearly broken-down vehicle, she began to reminisce about hers and Su-Z’s time living within its confines down by the river. She remembered how during the day they’d have to take turns keeping an eye out for patrol cars so they didn’t get in trouble with the police, how during the cold and frigid nights they’d have to sleep together in order to stay warm, and how from week-to-week they’d often worry about whether or not they would have enough money to afford dog food for Princess Thunder Guts – or possibly people food for themselves.
To say those were tough days would’ve been an understatement. They were brutal days, rock bottom days even. Days that had only come to an end because the Dazzlings had thrown them a life preserver and given them the opportunity to create a new life for themselves on their emu farm. And as Kiwi began to become cognizant of this fact she began to feel that, even if she were objectively right regarding Adagio’s handling of Violet, she had been the one who’d truly acted appallingly this evening.
“Damn it, Kiwi, you did it again,” The PostCrush girl berated herself as she leaned back against the side of the van. “You let your stubborn and judgmental side cause you to make obdurate decisions, just like at the Starswirl Festival when you had to be perfect.”
The more Kiwi thought about her recent demeanor towards her best friend and housemates, the more appalled with herself she began to feel. She’d shown Adagio nothing but disdain and disrespect, treated Su-Z like she was some sort of dimwitted crony, and played a large part in bringing Sonata to tears. Just one of these things alone would’ve been enough to make the PostCrush girl feel forlorn, but all three of them combined made her feel absolutely despondent.
“What the hell is wrong with me?” She asked herself as she slid down the side of the van before ultimately plopping herself down on the ground below.
“Isn’t it obvious, Kiwi?” A voice unexpectedly answered the girl. “What’s wrong with you is that you’re too smart for your own good.”
Startled by the unanticipated response to her question, Kiwi immediately picked herself up from off the ground and turned towards the direction she thought she’d heard the voice coming from. But much to her surprise there was no one there, leading her to believe that perhaps she’d just been hearing things. However, the PostCrush girl was all but certain that she truly had heard a voice just now, and believing that perhaps she’d just been wrong about where the voice had come from she began to look all around her for any signs of another person nearby. But no matter where it was she looked, she continued to see that she was alone.
“H-Hello?” She eventually, and tentatively, called out into the darkness.
“Hello, Kiwi,” The voice replied back.
When Kiwi heard the voice again there was no doubt in her mind where it had come from this time; it had come from directly behind her. Wasting no time, the former popstar quickly turned around and saw who it was that the voice belonged to, and when she did she was so stunned that she lost her balance and once more found herself situated down on the ground.
“M-M-Madrigal?!” The PostCrush girl managed to get out in her shocked state as she looked up at the Dazzlings’ mother, who was leaning up against the van just as she herself had been doing a moment ago.
“In the flesh, so to speak,” Madrigal replied to Kiwi as she ceased leaning against the van and proceeded to crouch down right in front of the girl. “Sorry I scared you, dear. I tried not to the best I could, but given our situation I suppose it was unavoidable.”
It had been a few weeks since the incident where Kiwi had agreed to let Madrigal into her mind in order to save her, and in that time the PostCrush girl had practically forgotten that the woman was residing within her head. She remembered the incident in its entirety as clear as day – how could she not – but for some reason the fact that she had Madrigal’s soul or spirit or whatever occupying some of her mental space had escaped her. Perhaps it was because subconsciously she just didn’t want to be regularly reminded of this fact, or perhaps it was because Madrigal had been playing with her mind and keeping her from remembering that she was there. Either one was entirely possible.
But whatever the reason for Kiwi’s forgetfulness, it didn’t change the fact that Madrigal was physically standing, or rather crouching, before her.
“I’d help you up but I’m afraid I’m unable,” Madrigal continued right before waving her right hand right through Kiwi’s left leg, which caused the PostCrush girl’s already high levels of shock to skyrocket even higher. “As you can see, I’m not exactly here.”
Kiwi had no idea what was going on right now. Her mind was reeling far too much trying to make sense of her current situation for it to actually do so. How was it that Madrigal was here speaking to her? Last they’d spoken she had been nothing more than a reflection in Sunset’s bathroom mirror. And how was it that Madrigal was able to faze herself through her body? Was the woman a ghost now? Did this mean that she was no longer inside her head? These questions and more ran through Kiwi’s mind at such a rapid pace that she couldn’t even find enough mental energy to move her mouth and say something to Madrigal.
“Are you all right, Kiwi? I didn’t frighten you too much, did I?” Madrigal asked her concernedly. “Because if this is too much for you I can do away with the illusion. I just figured it would be easier for you to talk to a visitant than a voice in your head.”
Madrigal’s words did little to assuage Kiwi’s consternation, though strangely enough they did help provide her with a bit of clarity. The girl still wasn’t quite sure if Madrigal was some sort of phantasm or not, but based on her statement that she could ‘do away with the illusion’ suggested to her that whatever the woman was she had control over it. Additionally, Madrigal’s remark that she felt that her talking to a visitant would be easier than a voice in her head indicated to the PostCrush girl that she was still residing within her mind.
The best Kiwi could figure from all this information was that Madrigal was somehow using magic to create a nebulous image of herself. An image that, in all likelihood, was visible only to her.
“I-I’m fine. I’m fine,” She told Madrigal as she recomposed herself. “And, um, you’re f-fine too.”
“Oh good,” Madrigal replied.
With the worst of her trepidation now behind her, new feelings of embarrassment began to surface within Kiwi. Feelings brought about by her current, less-than-flattering position laying on the ground. Wasting no time, the PostCrush girl quickly finished collecting herself, shot up off the ground, and dusted herself off as gracefully as possible.
Not long after, Madrigal got up as well.
Once she finished dusting herself off, Kiwi noticed a difference in Madrigal’s appearance from the last time they’d spoken. The woman was no longer wearing the champagne gold V-neck flapper dress that she had before, but rather a black satin sheath evening gown with a neckline that left her shoulders uncovered. It was an outfit that the former popstar found to be very elegant and felicitous, especially given how greatly it complimented Madrigal’s luxuriously silky scarlet hair.
“Um, I like your new dress,” She told the woman in a desperate attempt for conversation.
“Oh you’re too kind, dear,” Madrigal chastely replied to the compliment before doing a small twirl to show off the entire outfit. “This little number is something I’ve always wanted to try wearing, and not to sound boastful but I believe I’m pulling it off fetchingly.”
“Y-Yeah, fetchingly,” Kiwi concurred, finding the statement to be just a tad bit boastful.
“So, that was quite the argument you had with Adagio and Su-Z, hmm?” Madrigal abruptly shifted subjects.
Having been caught off-guard by the sudden change in topic, Kiwi took an involuntary step backwards and nearly fell to the ground once again. Thankfully though, she managed to remain standing.
“You…you know about that?” She asked.
“Well of course I know about it, I saw it,” Madrigal replied as she lifted her right hand and pointed her index finger at Kiwi’s forehead. “I’m inside your head, Kiwi; that means I see just about everything you do.”
Practically all the color drained from Kiwi’s face when she heard this. In hindsight she probably should have known that when she’d let Madrigal inside her mind the woman would be able to observe her day-to-day life from behind her eyes, but she hadn’t. And because of this it was only now that she came to understand that some of her more private moments since she’d saved Madrigal hadn’t actually been private.
“You…You’ve been watching me,” She said absentmindedly, and with no small amount of dread, as she dawned a thousand yard-stare. “Oh my gosh. Ohhhhhhh my gosh.”
“Relax, Kiwi,” Madrigal instructed the distressed PostCrush girl. “I said that I see just about everything you see, I’m not watching you 24/7.”
It was at this point that Madrigal extended her right arm and placed her hand on Kiwi’s left shoulder, so to speak. Despite the image of Madrigal that Kiwi was seeing being only nebulous in nature, the former popstar could have sworn that she felt the warmth of a flesh-and-blood hand resting on her shoulder.
“Believe me, I understand that there are times when a girl needs some privacy,” The Dazzlings’ mother then cordially told her.
As much as Kiwi wanted to believe that Madrigal was being truthful right now, she couldn’t help but have her doubts. The woman had just confessed to having watched the argument she’d had with Adagio and Su-Z without her knowledge, so who was to say that she hadn’t been watching other things as well. Had she been watching two weeks ago when she’d spoken with her dad on the phone? When she’d accosted Su-Z last week to once again voice her belief that they should take Lucy Beel up on her offer for them to perform at Chaus? When she’d…alleviated some stress the other day? There was no way for the PostCrush girl to know. However, given the high level of sincerity that had been evident within Madrigal’s words, Kiwi chose to accept them as being truthful.
“T-Thanks, Madrigal,” She lauded the woman for respecting her privacy.
“Now, about that argument with Adagio and Su-Z,” Madrigal replied candidly, once again abruptly changing the topic of conversation. “Why exactly are you upset about it so much, Kiwi?”
The fact that Madrigal kept coming back to the subject of her recent argument both confused and intrigued Kiwi.
“Why do you want to talk about that so badly?” She asked the Dazzlings’ mother.
“Because I want to make sure you’re not upset for the wrong reasons,” Madrigal answered.
This only compounded Kiwi’s confusion and intrigue.
“Okay, you lost me,” The PostCrush girl confessed.
“That’s all right, I figured I’d need to elucidate,” Madrigal said. “But if it’s all the same to you, Kiwi, do you mind if we continue our conversation elsewhere?”
Madrigal then pointed over towards the barn.
“Like in there perhaps?” She suggested.
“Oh, um, sure,” Kiwi consented, though somewhat perplexedly. “We can head over to the barn if you -”
“Wonderful,” Madrigal interrupted. “I’ll see you inside then.”
“What do mea -” The PostCrush girl replied as she turned back around, only to cut herself off when she discovered that Madrigal was no longer there.
Finding herself alone once more, Kiwi began to question if she hadn’t been alone this whole time. As much as she didn’t want to admit it she couldn’t deny the possibility that the woman she’d supposedly been talking to for the last few minutes had been nothing more than a figment of her imagination, one brought about by her deep distress over her recent argument. Though, in all honesty, the PostCrush girl highly doubted that this was the case. After all, why would her feelings of deep distress manifest themselves as Madrigal Moonlight of all people?
And so, as Kiwi shrugged off her questions regarding Madrigal’s veridity, she made her way on over to the barn.
Despite her best efforts not to focus too much on Madrigal as she walked, Kiwi couldn’t help but wonder one thing about the woman; had she discerned if she was actually Madrigal Moonlight or not? Back in Sunset’s mind, she remembered how distraught Madrigal had been as to whether she actually was the Dazzlings’ mother or just some sort of imitation of her created by the Overlook. It was a query that the PostCrush girl hadn’t received an answer to whilst she was within Sunset’s mind, and one that she wasn’t even sure Madrigal had found an answer to yet. But the former popstar wasn’t too concerned about the answer to that query right now – whatever it may be. Right now all she wanted an answer to was what Madrigal meant when she’d said she wanted to make sure she wasn’t upset for the wrong reasons.
After only about a minute of walking Kiwi reached the barn and stepped inside of it, where she saw Madrigal looking around at the numerous emu asleep in their pens.
“Hard to believe that caring for these creatures is what my daughters are doing with their lives these days,” The woman said as she examined the large birds. “Though not as hard to believe that it’s what you’re doing with your life, Kiwi.”
“Yeah, it’s hard for me to believe that this is my life now too,” Kiwi remarked ardently as she made her way over to Madrigal. “Now can you please tell me what it is you meant when you said you wanted to make sure I wasn’t upset for the wrong reasons?”
“Oh I think you know what I meant by that, dear,” Madrigal exasperated.
“No, Madrigal, I don’t,” The PostCrush girl replied curtly, much to the chagrin of some of the emu within close proximity of her who were beginning to rouse from their sleep. “And given everything that I’ve been through tonight I am really not in the mood for any obscure or cryptic remarks! So either tell me what you meant already or this conversation is over!”
Almost immediately after Kiwi finished her mini tirade she realized she might have made a huge mistake in yelling at Madrigal. The woman was literally inside of her head, and it stood to reason that if she was strong enough now to cast an illusion of herself she was strong enough to wreak some havoc with her mind if she felt apt to. Fortunately though, and much to the former popstar’s surprise, when Madrigal let out a small and playful chuckle in response to her little jeremiad it seemed that she wasn’t feeling inclined to perform any mental-based attacks on her.
“I’m sorry, dear,” The Dazzlings’ mother apologized as her chortling came to an end. “It’s just…it really is astonishing how much alike you and Adagio are; you’re both so strongly opinionated and adamant as hell.”
Needless to say, being compared to Adagio was one of the last things Kiwi wanted to hear right now – along with just being affronted in general. But still feeling fearful of potential retribution from Madrigal if she got riled up, the PostCrush girl decided to keep her displeasure at the woman’s remark to herself.
“But if you really need me to explain things then I suppose there’s no way around it,” Madrigal continued. “What I meant when I said I wanted to make sure you weren’t upset for the wrong reasons is that I wanted to make sure you weren’t upset because you thought you were wrong.”
“Because I…think I’m wrong?” Kiwi asked bewilderedly.
“That’s right,” Madrigal replied. “I mean I can understand if you were upset because you let your temper get the better of you, but if you were upset because you were starting to think you were wrong about Adagio’s handling of that Violet girl then that’s something I just couldn’t allow.”
“You…couldn’t?” Kiwi then asked.
“Of course not, Kiwi,” Madrigal answered, as if she were stating the obvious, before she turned around and took a few steps forward as she started to once more look around the barn. “How could I possibly let you feel bad about your stance in that argument when you were so clearly in the right?”
Due to Kiwi’s current befuddled state, it took her a few seconds longer than normal to fully process Madrigal’s words.
“Are you saying that you…agree with me?” She inquired, just to make sure she was understanding the woman correctly.
“Yes, Kiwi, that’s what I’m saying,” Madrigal replied, somewhat testily, as she ceased her walking and turn back around to face the former popstar.
“Thank you!” The PostCrush girl then loudly lauded as she practically lunged at Madrigal with the intent of giving her companion a hug, only for her to phase right through the woman when she tried to wrap her arms around her.
“I’m not actually here, dear,” Madrigal bluntly reminded Kiwi as the girl desperately tried to maintain her footing after her failed hug.
“Right, right. S-Sorry about that,” Kiwi said embarrassedly as she quickly regained her composure.
“It’s all right,” The Dazzlings’ mother assured her. “I’m just glad to hear that you weren’t upset earlier because your opinion of what Adagio had done tonight had changed.”
“Oh I can assure you; my opinion of what Adagio did tonight has most definitely not changed,” The PostCrush girl replied with conviction. “I mean, it’s just so obvious that her lying to Violet and manipulating her was wrong, isn’t it? And I don’t care what Su-Z says, there’s no excuse for that kind of behavior! I seriously don’t understand how it is that you, Aria, and I are the only ones who seem to realize that! I just…ARGHHH!”
As soon as Kiwi let out her loud, aggravated grunt the sound of numerous cries from nearly every emu in the barn could be heard ringing throughout the structure, much to the annoyance of both the PostCrush girl and Madrigal.
“Noisy things, aren’t they?” The Dazzlings’ mother remarked.
“Great, that’s just great,” Kiwi said lamentably as she took a seat on a nearby bale of hay. “First I agitate Sonata, then I go and agitate the emu too.”
Once Kiwi was fully seated on her bale she brought her knees up to her head and promptly proceeded to bury her face in them.
“Fuck me,” The PostCrush girl sobbingly self-deprecated through her patella. “Just…fuck me.”
At this, a small but undoubtedly mischievous smile crossed Madrigal’s face.
“There, there, dear. You’re being far too hard on yourself,” The woman told Kiwi as she quickly lost her wicked grin and took a seat next to the girl.
“Am I though?” Kiwi replied as she removed her head from her knees and assumed a more natural seated position. “I just…I always do this kind of thing; I let my feelings get the better of me and end up making everyone around me miserable. I did it tonight with the emu and Sonata, I did it with Su-Z when we were trying to get more money from our label, and I…I…”
Many of the muscles within Kiwi’s throat began to tense up as she tried to complete her sentence, so many in fact that she felt a lump in her larynx and found herself unable to continue speaking. She quickly turned her head away from Madrigal and tried to clear her throat, believing that doing so would help her, though all it did was make her feel worse.
“It’s all right, Kiwi,” Madrigal assured the PostCrush girl as she laid a hand atop one of Kiwi’s hands.
Much like earlier when Madrigal had touched her shoulder, Kiwi could’ve sworn that she felt the warmth of a flesh-and-blood hand touching her.
“I...I’m sorry,” The former popstar apologized as she collected herself. “It’s just that…I get a little choked up whenever I…try and talk about what happened between me and…my dad.”
“Well if it’s too much for you to talk about then you don’t have to,” Madrigal told the distraught girl. “Though, in all honesty, I would suggest that you talk about it. Speaking from my own personal experiences with parent-child conflicts, it’s best to get these things out in the open so you can heal from them. Otherwise they can, and most likely will, just lead to more pain.”
Kiwi contemplated Madrigal’s words for a few seconds, and in that contemplation she found herself thinking back to the only time she’d spoken to anyone about her dad. She couldn’t remember exactly how long ago it had been, only that it had been while she and Su-Z were on-tour and they’d had one too many celebratory drinks after a show. In their inebriated states they’d started sharing personal stories that they hadn’t told one another yet, and eventually the elder PostCrush girl had told her friend the story about the falling-out she’d had with her father.
The entire memory was fuzzy for Kiwi since she’d been so intoxicated that night, but one thing she did remember was that she did feel slightly better about the incident after sharing her bedlam with Su-Z. So perhaps, she thought, Madrigal’s suggestion to talk about it was a wise one.
“What happened between me and my dad is a bit of a long story,” The PostCrush girl austerely began to explain. “But it all starts when I was five years old. We lived in a small town in the middle of nowhere, and I mean a really small town, one with just less than eight hundred people in it. It was the kind of place where everyone knew everyone else, so I knew just about every other family in town. Many of the families had kids, a few of them that were my age. But no matter how young or old the kids in those families were I noticed that each one had a dad and a mom, except for me.”
Kiwi could feel a few small tears beginning to form in the corners of her eyes as she talked, but the former popstar paid them no mind as she continued with her tale.
“One day when my dad picked me up after kindergarten I asked him why it was I didn’t have a mom, and he said that it was…it was because my mom went somewhere far away. Naturally I was confused by that answer so I asked him if she’d ever come back, and he…he assured me that one day we’d see her again.”
“But you never did see her, did you?” Madrigal interjected. “And he knew that you never would.”
“Yeah, he knew all right,” Kiwi replied, her voice now filled with rancor. “He knew because he’d watched my mom die as she gave birth to me.”
The tears in the corners of Kiwi’s eyes suddenly began to stream down her cheeks like a pair of mighty rivers, though like before when they’d begun to form the PostCrush girl took no notice of them.
“He lied to me, gave me false hope that I’d someday see my mom,” She continued through her weeping. “And he continued to do so for years. Each and every time I asked him about my mom while I was growing up he gave me the same damn answer.”
“So how did you learn the truth then?” Madrigal solemnly inquired.
“When I saw my mom’s death certificate,” Kiwi replied as she wiped the tears from her face. “I was maybe thirteen or fourteen when I began to question if my dad was lying to me and had decided to try and find out what had happened to my mom for myself. I asked a few relatives and people around town about her but all I could ever get from any of them was what she was like, nothing about where she was or anything like that. It wasn’t until I was eighteen that I accidentally came across my mom’s death certificate while putting something away in my dad’s file cabinet that I’d learned she’d died the day I was born.”
“And I’m guessing that that’s when you two had your falling-out?” Madrigal asked.
“Yep, that’s when,” Kiwi confirmed grievously as fresh tears started to run down her face. “I confronted him about the death certificate and about his consistent lying to me over the years. He apologized profusely for not telling me she was dead but said that he hadn’t lied to me because all those times he’d said we’d see her again he was talking about seeing her again in Heaven or some bullshit like that. Needless to say, I only got more pissed off by that lame-ass excuse. I yelled at him some more until I’d had enough and packed my bags to leave home. My dad pleaded with me to stay but I…I just couldn’t. I left town that night for Baltimare and never looked back.”
“So you haven’t seen you’re dad since that night?” Madrigal then asked.
“No, I haven’t,” Kiwi answered. “But I have spoken to him. One night when Su-Z and I were on the road touring I’d gotten to thinking about the night I’d left home and decided to call my dad to see how he was doing. He picked up and, much to my surprise, we ended up talking for quite a while. We talked about how each of us had been doing and what each of us had been up to since we’d had that big fight, though we never actually talked about the fight itself. We still talk on the phone every now and then to, you know, keep in touch, but there’s no denying that there’s still a lot of…emotional distance between us.”
An uneasy silence fell across the barn after Kiwi finished her somber tale – save for the sounds of the PostCrush girl’s mild sobbing and the cries of a few emu who were still feeling flustered.
“I’m so sorry, Kiwi,” Madrigal eventually broke the silence. “Just so you know, if I could give you a hug right now I would.”
“Thanks,” Kiwi lauded soberly as she finished wiping the last of her tears from her face.
“I know that story wasn’t easy for you to share with me,” Madrigal then said as she got up from her seat. “But I’m glad that you did share it, because now I think we can move forward with finding a way for you to reconcile with Adagio.”
“Huh?” The PostCrush girl uttered as she looked up at Madrigal.
“Believe me, dear, I’d love it if my daughter would just realize that you’re right and she’s wrong, but I guarantee you that she won’t. She’s far too stubborn to even consider the possibility that she’s wrong,” The Dazzlings’ mother replied. “Trust me, the best thing you can do is attempt to placate her, and that starts by first pinpointing where it is your strong distain for lying stems from. And thanks to your story I believe we’ve just done that.”
Kiwi had, in actuality, long ago figured out where it was her strong distain for lying had stemmed from, but given that Madrigal seemed sincerely intent on helping her make amends with Adagio she didn’t point this fact out to the woman. That, and because she was perplexed as to why Madrigal was even discussing any of this at all.
“It seems to me that you have such a low tolerance for people lying and giving false hope because you were lied to and given false hope about seeing your mother for years,” Madrigal stated the obvious as she began to pace back-and-forth in front of Kiwi. “Hmmm…I never thought I’d say this, but given how much Adagio has changed from when she was younger your tragic tale of being lied to for so long might just garner some sympathy from her. Yes, I think if you apologize to her for yelling and explain why it is that lying riles you up so much you just might be able to reconcile with her.”
“Yeah, I kind of doubt that,” Kiwi dissented as she too stood up. “I don’t think Adagio’s angry that I yelled at her, at least not entirely. I’m pretty sure she’s also angry because she thinks I was being so judgmental about how she handled things with Violet - which I have to admit I kind of was.”
“You were in the right, Kiwi, it doesn’t matter how judgmental you were,” Madrigal nonchalantly remarked. “But regardless, I guarantee that if you just apologize to Adagio for yelling at her then she’ll take it as an apology for everything.”
“Seriously?” Kiwi inquired dubiously.
“Trust me, I know my own daughter,” Madrigal replied. “And I know what you’re thinking; ‘But Madrigal, you just said that Adagio has changed so much from when she was younger.’ Well while that may be true, I’d be willing to bet she hasn’t changed that much.”
Madrigal’s averment did little to assuage Kiwi’s skepticism. However, since the PostCrush girl couldn’t come up with any alternatives to try and gain Adagio’s clemency – other than by telling the Dazzling leader that she’d made the right call with Violet, which she adamantly refused to do – she figured that Madrigal’s approach was at least worth a shot.
“I suppose I don’t have anything to lose by trying that,” She admitted tentatively.
“It’ll work, I’m sure of it,” Madrigal assured Kiwi before turning around and heading towards the barn doors. “Now let’s get going, before it gets too late and Adagio goes to bed. I don’t want you to have to wake her up to apologize to her.”
“Um, couldn’t I just wait until morning to apologize to her if she’s already in bed?” Kiwi inquired as she followed Madrigal’s lead.
“Oh you don’t want to wait until morning, dear,” Madrigal replied. “If you let Adagio go to bed angry with you then she might never accept your apology.”
Kiwi got the distinct impression that Madrigal was speaking from personal experience with that last piece of advice.
In no time at all, both Madrigal and Kiwi were out of the barn and on their way back to the house.
“There’s one more thing I need to ask you, Madrigal,” Kiwi informed her companion as they began their short journey.
“And what’s that, dear?” Madrigal replied.
“Why is it you helped me tonight? I mean, at all,” The PostCrush girl inquired.
“Isn’t it obvious, Kiwi?” Madrigal replied. “You saved my life, helping you out tonight was the least I could do to repay you for that.”
The rest of the journey back to the house was primarily spent in silence, but when Kiwi and Madrigal reached the porch the PostCrush girl had a startling revelation that caused her to stop dead in her tracks and break that silence.
“Damn it, I forgot about Su-Z and Sonata,” The former popstar chastised herself. “I’m pretty sure I have to apologize to the two of them too.”
“Perhaps, but I wouldn’t worry too much about Su-Z,” Madrigal said as she turned around to face Kiwi. “She’s your best friend, and I’m sure the two of you have survived worse arguments than the one you had tonight.”
Kiwi had to admit that this was true. She and Su-Z had survived a multitude of arguments over the course of their friendship, ones that were, in fact, far worse than the one they’d had tonight.
“And as for Sonata, I’d worry even less about her,” Madrigal continued, a modicum of enmity now evident within her voice, as she turned back around. “She may seem recherché at times but she’s stronger than she appears.”
“Even still, they’re both owed apologies,” Kiwi insisted as she walked past Madrigal and opened the front door, seemingly unperturbed by the woman’s small but sudden change in tone.
“Good luck,” Madrigal wished the PostCrush girl before fading away with a cool dissolve.
As Kiwi entered the house she noticed that the kitchen and living room were empty, leading her to believe that everyone was still in their rooms. Deciding it best to start by apologizing to Adagio first, she quickly made a beeline for the hallway and stopped when she reached the door to the Dazzling leader’s bedroom. After taking a brief second to take a deep breath and steel herself the PostCrush girl curled her right hand up into a fist and lifted it up to gently knock-on Adagio’s door, but just as she swung her clenched hand forward to deliver the first knock the door suddenly flung open and she accidentally hit Adagio square in the middle of her forehead.
“Ow!” The Dazzling uttered as she rubbed the spot where she’d been struck.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so, so sorry, Adagio!” The PostCrush girl hastily expressed remorse. “I-I swear that was an accident! I came here to apologize to you for earlier and -”
“Kiwi!” Adagio interrupted mirthfully as she wrapped her arms around the elder PostCrush girl in a giant hug.
“Um, okay then. We’re…hugging,” Kiwi said as she tried to wrap her head around what was happening right now.
“You’ll never guess what happened!” Adagio said to Kiwi as she let go of her. “I just checked my voicemail and there’s a message on it from Sugarcoat!”
“Sugarcoat? What did she want?” Kiwi inquired.
“You remember when she said that she’d talk to her mom about seeing if she has any business connections that might be willing to help us?” Adagio replied. “Well apparently one of her mom’s old sorority sisters runs a venture capital firm and has expressed an interest in doing business with us!”
“Wait, are you serious?!” The PostCrush girl asked sanguinely.
“Super serious!” The Dazzling answered fervidly right before drawing the former popstar into another hug. “Isn’t this great, Kiwi?! If this thing works out then we won’t have to go back to living down by the river in that stupid van!”
“Yeah, it’s great news!” Kiwi concurred as she returned Adagio’s hug.
“Uh, what the hell’s going on out here?” The two girls heard Aria’s voice say from just down the hall, causing them to abruptly end their hug.
As Kiwi and Adagio looked down the hallway they saw that Aria was staring at them bewilderingly from the doorway to her room, as well as Sonata and Su-Z from the doorway to Sonata’s room.
Adagio quickly explained what she’d told Kiwi to the other three girls now in the hallway, and when she did numerous more hugs where shared amongst all five girls. After the all the hugging ended the Dazzling leader then instructed everyone to follow her out to the barn so they could get it ready for their visit from the venture capital firm, much to the puzzlement of each of the other four girls.
“Um, the visit isn’t happening tomorrow, is it?” Su-Z inquired.
“Oh goodness no. Sugarcoat said in her message that it probably won’t happen until next week at the earliest,” Adagio hastily informed the group. “But we need to get started tidying up the barn now so that it looks its best by the time our guests arrive.”
“Oh for crying out loud,” Aria mumbled under her breath.
“Now come on!” Adagio reiterated as she headed for the front door.
“Should we…follow her?” Sonata asked the remaining girls in the hallway.
“Yeah, probably,” Aria reluctantly capitulated as she started to make her way up the hall. “I’d rather not risk pissing her off twice in one day.”
Kiwi, Sonata, and Su-Z all silently agreed with Aria’s mentality and each decided it best to follow Adagio out to the barn as well. Though before they left the hallway Kiwi took the opportunity to issue a couple of brief yet heartfelt apologies to Su-Z and Sonata, which thankfully for the elder PostCrush girl were accepted by the other two girls. The three of them then caught up with Aria and headed out the front door together, and as they did Kiwi made two mental notes to herself for later; apologize to Adagio sometime before the night was over and find a book or something to help her work on not being so judgmental so as to avoid future arguments with the Dazzling leader – or anyone for that matter.
As Kiwi stepped out into the brisk nighttime air and started heading towards the barn once more, her mind began to recollect the evening’s events. Specifically, the events involving Madrigal. It was still a little difficult for the PostCrush girl to believe that the Dazzlings’ mother had appeared before her as a phantasm and offered to help her make amends with Adagio, and even though Madrigal had claimed her reason for doing so was out of gratitude for saving her life Kiwi couldn’t help but feel that the woman might have had ulterior motives. After all, the Dazzlings themselves had said their mother was notoriously deceitful. But as the former popstar recalled her recent happenings with Madrigal she couldn’t conceive of any motives for the woman’s actions other than to show appreciation. And even though Madrigal’s advice and insights had proven less-than-beneficial in the end, she was still thankful that they’d been given.
“Hurry up, slowpokes!” Adagio suddenly hollered over to her and the others from right in front of the barn. “We’re burning moonlight!”
“Ugh,” Aria uttered irksomely in response.
“C-Coming, Dagi,” Sonata replied as she picked up the pace a little.
All-in-all, Kiwi still had mixed feelings about having Madrigal inside her head. But given how farcical the Dazzlings could be at times she figured that having someone around who could help her deal with them might not be such a bad thing, even if they existed within her mind.
“Come on, we better hurry,” Su-Z said to her.
“Yeah, we probably should,” Kiwi agreed just before she and her friend hustled over to the barn.
Meanwhile, within the back of Kiwi’s mind, Madrigal Moonlight watched from behind the PostCrush girl’s eyes as the former popstar hastily made her way over to her daughters.
“So, you’ve never had a mother, huh, Kiwi?” The Dazzlings’ mother said to herself as a small but undoubtedly mischievous smile crossed her face. “Interesting.”
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I have a really strong urge to start singing "Mother Knows Best" from Tangled right now.
Madrigal is turning out to be one sinister and manipulative being.
Wonder what she's got planned?
So much for a friendly conversation.
Way to go you four!
Why does this strangely scare me?
It's sad, but I can understand why her father did it. The truth can hurt when learning it that it's sometimes better to wait for when the time is right. And that's what my dad did once I became an adult for when he told me how his older brother Michael passed at such a young age.
That's good to know at least.
Talk about bad timing.
Gulp.