I just couldn't believe it; I just couldn't. The night was horrible, the wind was tearing at Sugar Cube Corner, as if hoping to reach inside and wreck every thing.
That night, there was supposed to be a triple maximum storm, because the pegasi had missed three major storms and had to make up for it; big time.
I was tucked in bed, listening to the raging storm outside; it was loud, scary and for some reason had a terrible beauty about it. I couldn't sleep, so I decided to go down stairs and make the treats for tomorrow's picnic to celebrate Scootaloo's birthday. Being in the kitchen always calmed me down; I checked the list Dashie gave me to see what Scootaloo would like. I smiled to my self; the first words on the list were "Cupcakes with rainbow icing". I simply adored making them.
The real rainbow was really spicy, but I needed only a drop of it; making the cupcakes them selves was easy-peasy, just the normal mix with one exception: a secret ingredient! I plonked the eggs into the turquoise bowl and beat them with a whisk, humming under my breath; then I added the milk and the flour, beating them until they gained the "Pinkie Pie stamp of approval", as I liked to call it. Next I added the basic optionals: essence of vanilla, brown sugar, a touch of orange (Scootaloo loved exotic flavours!) . Then: my secret ingredient.
I poured the mixture into the tray, set the oven and waited for it to warm up, before placing the tray carefully inside; the cupcakes needed to bake until they were golden-brown, which gave me about more or less fifteen minutes to make the icing. Oh, I love having challenges in cooking!
From the cupboard I took a small vial with a drop of rainbow inside; I asked Dashie if I could buy a drop of it legally, and she said that I could and bought it for me. I tipped it into a bright pink bowl, added some ready-made plain icing I made yesterday and whipped it together; then I added cinnamon and brown sugar.
I took out the cupcakes; they were exactly the shade of golden brown they needed to be. I picked up a spoon in my mouth and dipped it into the bowl of rainbow icing; It was mild, and the added cinnamon made it stand out. I coated the cupcakes with the icing and added a small garnish on to every single cupcake: a blueberry.
With the cupcakes done, polished and dusted, I packed then into a white box and stamped it with the "Pinkie Pie seal of approval".
Next came Rainbow fudge, Cinnamon cake, Lilly muffins, Almond brownies, Lavender chocolate, Honey gateaux, Apple pasties and Cherry cookies and strawberry strudel. I also made some sauces to go with them, just to keep my mind off the storm: chocolate mousse, melted caramel, whipped cream and blackberry jam. I tasted only little bits of every dish, including the sauces, but I was still full when I did.
I was now so sleepy that I had no trouble at all falling asleep; I dreamed that I was flying in the sky, and that it was raining candy. The sky was pink and the clouds were made out of cotton candy and rained chocolate milk; every pony was happy and they were all waving streamers and wearing party hats.
I woke up to the sound of a long, drawn out scream; it was still dark, but I could make out some pony's life-less body through the window. I yelled and ran down the stairs two by two; every thing was in slow motion: me, running out of the door, tripping over a rock, lying face down in the dirt; I got up and ran over to the dead pony.
"No!' I sobbed, "Not her! NOOOO!!!" I yelled and sobbed at the same time.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
I was sitting in the waiting area in the hospital; the doctors had gone through it with her only minutes ago, but I knew that she was dead already. But they didn't listen to my fore telling of my Pinkie Sense; I knew that they were trying to make me feel better, and I appreciate that.
I was the only one who knew when it happened; she was already dead when I had found her, and it would feel even worse to know if she was alive when I had found her and now dead. Who decided this pony's fate? It felt wrong to know that I would never be able to talk to her again, to see her alive and well. It felt wrong that she was alive one moment and dead the next.
I would never spend Christmas with her; in fact, I would spend this Christmas alone. Not to mention all the Christmases to come.
Rarity burst through the clean ward door, her mane wet and muddy with bits of twigs and leaves stuck in it; their were tear streaks on her cheeks. 'Pinkie- oh thank goodness!' Rarity went to hug me, but I walked away. Rarity looked confused;
"You were with her," I said hoarsely; "The royal guards told me." Silence; Rarity looked on the brink of a faint.
"Yes, I was with her," She whispered.
"And?" I raised an eye brow coldly.
"We-we had a fight and I left," Rarity sobbed into her hand kerchief. I got up and raised my voice.
"How did she die?"
Rarity winced; "I don't know; I swear Pinkie, I don't know!"
Silence again; I couldn't believe what my Pinkie Sense was telling me!
"You don't care, do you?!" I sobbed, "All that's important to you is your self, just like Prince Blue-Blood!"
"Pinkie, that's very rude of you to suggest that I am a selfish-"
"Why don'y you just leave? After all, you have a fashion show in Canterlot tonight!" I positively howled.
"There's no proof that she is dead, so I think I will!"
Rarity slammed the door shut and charged out into the rain; I felt a twinge of regret but I ignored it: Rarity didn't care about her, she just came here so no pony thought of her as a selfish git that she was!
Nurse Red Heart came out of the ward wearing a pained expression; "Pinkamena, I am sorry to say your friend didn't make it; she just told us where her Will was- and passed away."
Even though I knew she was dead, it came as a shock any way; I nodded mutely and left: my last slim hope was gone.
I needed to calm down before I went to tell the other girls; I trudged through the muddy path to the Everfree Forest.
Zecora was at her hut meditating; I knocked politely and entered.
"I see you have suffered a loss; I can give you a calming draught, but these are your feelings to toss." Zecora tutted; she whipped up the potion in no time. I thanked her and left.
Back in Pony Ville I made sure that every pony knew who died and that every pony had an invitation to her funeral, on the 23rd of December; it was her birthday. The birthday she would never see. Ever.
'
Oh no... Who died? Actually, I don't know if I wanna know... Or do I? I'm a little worried now... Tracking. This is really good, asides from a spelling mistake.
I am interested by this. Now I need to read on to find out who's the poor soul who died.
If it was Twilight who died
This was good, but I'm going to be honest here and say that I was a bit annoyed with a few things.
-Apostrophes ( ' ) have specific uses in writing. They are not used for speaking roles unless inside another speaking role. Please use ".
Example of apostrophes in writing. He said, "I was walking down the lane when I heard Daniel say, 'Oh look who is here.'"
-WHO DIED? I tried reading this several times but you gave no clear indication. If it was a mystery to the reader about who it was who died, that's great. But seeing as Pinkie Pie (I assume she was the narrator) said, "I saw the body," that should let the reader know too. If it's not unknown to the narrator, it should not be unknown to the reader.
-Minor tense issues and it wouldn't hurt to grab a thesaurus.
Sorry if it sounds like I'm being mean, but when I read a new story I believe in giving honest feedback. I won't spam your comment anymore with me rambling, good work. Continue this story, it's good. Just saying there could be room for improvement.
74281 I think it was Scootaloo who died.
But that's just a guess with the text at the beginning and end about a birthday and a funeral.
well we know its not pinkie or rarity, so who is it?
Everything after the part about making the treats seemed a bit rushed and you need to use " instead of ' for dialogue, but other than that it the story seems like it could have potential, so it's a track from me.
If it's Fluttershy who died...
Wow....I wanna know who died!!!!! I agree with the other comments so i wont mention the mistakes but hurry and update when you can. Please don't tell me it's Rainbow Dash that dies
74290 The description says that it was one of the mane six that died.
74353
It's a tragic MLP fic, of course it was Rainbow who died. If you're looking for a sad story on any MLP fanfic site, chances are the one you find will have Rainbow in a key role, most frequently the victim. I don't know why people seem to think she's so fun to kill, but they always do.
Besides, Pinkie had kept talking about Rainbow during the par when she was making the snacks.
Also, there was one mistake I noticed at the end: it's the Everfree Forest, not the Evergreen Forest.
74290
The description said one of the mane six died, so it can't be scootaloo.
There was a mention of royal guards, so it has a possibility of being Twilight.
i will kill the FUCK out of you if you killed Twilight or Fluttershy.
I am tracking and can't wait to see how it progresses. I am thinking it's not Twilight because being so magical she should by all means be able to protect herself from anything. Nature or otherwise... maybe Flutteryshy? That would be so sad.
74283
RE: Apostrophes-
Thank you! LOL.
This is good the (' ') you use aren't what I'm used to, but I still understand it, and I'm really interested where you're going with this, I personally think it's RD who died, I hope not she's my 2nd favorite, I know my favorite isn't dead, but I still hope no one like Twilight or Fluttershy is dead, as much as it makes a good story, I would make me sad to see them die, and now that I think about it the only one left in my list is Applejack, but I don't think she died, and that makes me again fear that one of my favs is dead
Right, this story is a sort of experiment to see whether I can write tragedies. Loads of u are under the impression it's one of the mane 6, and your right, it says so in the description. This is written in European-English, sorry for the inconvenience! I will change the speech marks and try to find the mistakes!
I can't believe that u guys actually like this!!!!
"The royal guards told me."
It's Twilight. It just has to be.
If it's Twilight or fluttershy -
NOOO!!!!
Great holy fu**ing celestia,I can't believe my luck,why somepony dies on my birthday