I feel it's a bit weird for her not to transform first, but it serves the interspecies fetish crowd, I suppose.

Up to this time, I felt that you were pretty on point with the occassional German, but two things I came up in my mind:
1.

“Oh Aaron, mein leibe…”

I think this should be "mein lieber".
2. Personally, I don't feel "Scheiße!" works as an expletive in German as "Shit!" does in English. I couldn't point to any German erotica I have read. Still, to me this sounds wrong, and I would stick to English expletives or have her say "Verdammt" or so. But it's probably just me having issues with it.