Chapter 9 - September
“You know, ever since I came to Equestria, I’ve gotten myself caught up in a fair few adventures. I’ve trekked my way through the Everfree Forest, I’ve found myself caught up in monster attacks and enemy invasions. I’ve even crossed paths with some of the most dangerous creatures in Equestria and beyond. But none of these adventures hold a candle to one my good friend, Big Macintosh, is embarking upon today. May Celestia help the poor soul.”
The audience chuckled at that. Dad had told me to throw in one joke early and then not push my luck.
I was standing next to Big Mac, who was sitting down in the middle of a long table, all facing the audience. And next to him was Sugar Belle, his new wife. Yes, the day had finally come. After much courting, dating and romancing, Big Mac had finally got down on one knee and asked Sugar Belle to marry him. It didn’t exactly go smoothly, mind you, but the important thing was that the mare said “yes”. And so, after a short engagement, the two had gotten married right here on Sweet Apple Acres, in front of the same tree where Mac’s dearly departed parents had tied the knot all those years ago.
Mayor Mare, as the resident justice of the peace, presided over the ceremony, which was a strictly civil one, given how Equestria, in perhaps one of its biggest deviations from Earth, lacks any form of organised religion. And yet somehow morality still exists without magical sky people. Funny that. I’d been asked many times by certain Bible loving nutjobs where my value system came from without reference to God, and was even told that I must be without a moral compass due to my lack of belief. Anyway, it was a reasonably simple ceremony, but still a wonderful thing to watch. With the exception of Shining and Cadence, I can’t recall ever seeing two ponies so much in love.
But we were past that now. The wedding was done, the knot tied, the photos had all been taken of the happy couple, and the attending single mares had all but scratched each others eyes out in an effort to catch the bouquet. Believe it or not, Pinkie caught it. We were now at the reception, still out in the open air, for it was a beautiful day in early September. The weather was warm, the wind calm, you know, pretty much perfect. And I had been given the singular honour by Big Mac of being his best man. And so, here I was, giving my speech.
“I remember the first time I saw Mac in the flesh,” I continued after the laughter had subsided. “It was my first night in Ponyville and I needed a place to stay. Applejack had offered me a place, so I came up here to take her up on the offer. So I’m standing at the door, knocking on it, and a moment later I’m staring straight at this wall of deep red. I look up and this building with eyes is looking down at me. And so I squeak out ‘Erm...I’m looking for Applejack...is...is she in?’. And he pauses for a moment, thinks about it, and then looking me straight in the eye says in this deep booming voice ‘Eeyup’. And I damn near fainted.” Again came the laughs.
“I quickly learnt that Mac was a stallion of few words,” I went on. “He’d quite happily go the whole day without saying two words to you. Not from malice or shyness or anything like that; he just chooses his words carefully. If there’s no point in saying something, he won’t say it. He doesn’t feel the need to fill a silence. And at first, I found it a little strange. But as time went on, I began to come around to see how it made sense. We all spend our lives talking and talking, but so often, we don’t say much of any meaning. But with Mac, everything he says had a meaning, a purpose. When he saw that Sugar Belle was upset one day, he didn’t start chattering away saying ‘it’s alright, it’s okay’. Instead, he hugged her, comforted her, and then he went and fixed the problem. He didn’t need to say anything; his actions did all the talking that was needed.
“I have to admit, I find myself feeling a little jealous of the happy couple beside me. To have that closeness, that almost unspoken bond. Every Hearts and Hooves day, I see ponies going on and on about how much they love their partner. But these two, they didn’t need to. It doesn’t need to be said. You just look at them and you can tell instantly. There’s no need for affirmations, reassurances. They just know. Their bond runs so deep that it transcends the spoken word. We should all be so lucky.”
I paused for a moment to dab my eyes. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t cry doing this. I’d spent days and days working to get this all perfect for them. Luckily, I was near the end. It was time for the toast.
“Would you all please raise your glasses?” I asked, as I picked up my own champagne flute in my magic.
I turned to look down at both Mac and Sugar Belle. Mac looked positively dashing in his suit, while Sugar Belle was the envy of every mare in Equestria, sporting a dress of Rarity’s design, modelled after the one she made for Cadence. I smiled at the happy couple as I began.
“Big Mac. You have been the pillar that supported this farm and this family for over twenty years, through disaster and through triumph. I cannot think of a better foundation for the new life you are about to embark on. Sugar Belle. You have endured hardship, loss and pain, and yet emerged all the stronger for it. Combined together, there is no force in all Equestria that can stop you. For there is nothing that can stand in the path of true love. And so, in the best traditions, I wish you both all the best. To Big Mac and Sugar Belle!”
“To Big Mac and Sugar Belle!” the audience echoed as the applause started.
I guess I hadn’t made a complete hash of it.
With the speeches done and dusted, the party got into full swing. Pinkie Pie had all but insisted on offering her services and had taken great pains to ensure that all went smoothly and everypony had a good time. After all, you only get married once (well, for the most part, I certainly doubted anything short of death would cause Mac and Sugar Belle to split). And the two did deserve a day where everything went off without a hitch. After all, Mac’s proposal hadn’t exactly gone as he would have liked.
To his credit, he’d thought long and hard about how to propose to Sugar Belle. He spent weeks planning it, not just finding the right ring, but also coming up with the right way to present it. His plan would have astounded even Princess Cadence . He planned a sort of treasure hunt in a way, taking inspiration from the way Shining and Cadence told Twilight they were going to have a baby. He planned to set up a trail of apples all around Ponyville, starting at Sugarcube Corner. On the stem of each apple would be a clue to find the next. This would ultimately lead Sugar Belle to Sweet Apple Acres, ideally a little before sunset, where Mac would be waiting with a picnic. And there, in the light of a golden sunset, he’d get down on one knee and ask the mare he loved to marry him.
Even as an asexual with only a limited interest in romance myself, I had to admit, it was a beautiful thing and wonderfully romantic. Unfortunately, Big Mac forgot that old adage; no battle plan survives first contact with the enemy. All it took was one ill timed moment for Sugar Belle to be distracted, and she walked right out of Sugarcube Corner, completely missing the first apple. And without that, there was nothing to set her on the trail.
Now, this on its own could be remedied. The next problem came from who Big Mac asked to help him. I myself was out in the fields with AJ, finishing up the last few jobs of Applebuck Season. I’d say Mac’s closest friend off the farm has to be Discord. The pair bonded ever since Mac and Spike introduced the spirit of chaos to Ogres and Oubliettes. And, to Discord’s credit, he did genuinely try to be a good friend. The key word there being try. Even when he legitimately tries to help he can be remarkably disruptive. All across Equestria there are ponies that still have nightmares about the time that Discord “helped” them. Just look at his bonkers plan to ‘help’ Twilight.
He’d found out, and accidentally told pretty much everypony except Sugar Belle by screaming it to the heavens, that Mac was going to pop the question. It should be noted that this news seemed to send half the mares of Equestria into a pit of despair, particularly Cheerilee, Marble Pie, and strangely both princesses up in Canterlot. And of course, he wanted to help. So Mac, like so many comedy movie protagonists before him, gave Discord one simple job. All he had to do was finish setting up the little treasure hunt by setting out the remaining apples, since Spike, who was previously helping Mac out, was now busy helping the Cakes with baking.
When Sugar Belle missed the first apple, Discord did what any sane pony would do. He used his chaos magic to bring the apples to life and told them all to go to their requisite positions and give their messages. Oh, wait, no sane pony would do that, would they? And why? Because it resulted in the market being terrorised by around two dozen sentient apples all screeching in demonic voices their romantic messages to anypony who came within a mile of them. Better yet, when two of them bumped into each other, they merged into a larger entity.
Big Mac meanwhile, quite unaware of the Hell he’d inadvertently unleashed on Equestria, was waiting on the hilltop back on the farm for Sugar Belle. When she didn’t show however, he realised that something had to be wrong and headed into town. And in a never ending comedy of errors, Discord, realising the apple treasure hunt wasn’t really working, used his magic to teleport Sugar Belle to the farm, with Big Mac no longer there. When Big Mac returned to Sugarcube Corner, to find out what was going on, Discord teleported her back and also blindfolded her. There was a slim chance things could be saved.
And that chance went hurtling off into the depths of the universe, never to be seen again until the end of time, when Discord’s sentient apples, now turned into a horrifying eldritch abomination, lumbered into town and all but screamed out Big Mac’s request for Sugar Belle’s hoof. I think the phrase that describes everypony’s feelings at that point rhymes with “clucking bell”. Big Mac’s plan was utterly ruined.
Even better, it wasn’t only his plan that got turned upside down. Sugar Belle had also been planning to pop the question to her boyfriend. Equestria apparently doesn’t require men to propose to women, and allows either gender to be the one to make the first move. She and Mrs. Cake had cooked up twenty one different desserts, with similarly romantic messages hidden inside them. She planned to have the Crusaders bring Mac to Sugarcube Corner. But seeing Spike and Discord outside, they all hurried past to avoid giving the game away, which is how Sugar Belle first missed the starting apple on the trail.
It’s amazing isn’t it how one little mistake can result in a town almost being overrun by a giant apple monster that screams out romantic love poetry?
Luckily, Discord was able to at least somewhat redeem himself and used his magic to undo the damage. There was little he could do though about the ruined proposals. Spike was understandably furious with his friend as was Mrs. Cake.
Big Mac and Sugar Belle meanwhile, went off on their own for a while, eventually coming to the tree Bright Mac and Pear Butter planted so long ago. While Big Mac was embarrassed and ashamed of how he’d once again managed to make a fool of himself, Sugar Belle reflected that the path of true love wasn’t always smooth. And, if nothing else, neither of them would forget this day for the rest of their lives. With that, Big Mac proposed. And, rather unsurprisingly, Sugar Belle said yes.
And so, here we are, a couple weeks later at the wedding reception. As a way of forgiving Discord, or recognising the trouble he’d caused, Mac and Sugar Belle had invited him to the wedding, and he’d joined me alongside the other groomsmen. He even used his magic to once again bring some of the apples to life, though without being quite so destructive this time.
And of course, there was one job that Discord was perfectly suited to, and the one duty that I had delegated to him, despite my own position as the best man. That was planning the stag night. Because, let’s be honest, who wouldn’t want to go on a stag party planned by the closest thing Equestria has to Q? And more to the point, who’d want a sexually repulsed asexual like me to plan theirs? So, we gave Discord the job, setting the limits as no permanent physical or mental harm and that Big Mac had to be capable of attending the wedding afterwards. Other than that, we invited him to let his chaotic talents take flight.
Now, I’ll admit, wild as Tartarus stag nights aren’t my cup of tea. Even back on Earth, a lot of people were put off by my apparent lack of vices. I don’t drink much, I never smoked, never tried any kind of drugs in college, seldom made love, rarely went out at night, and in general appeared to deprive myself of life’s pleasures. In short I’m a downright boring old sod who’s idea of a fun time consists of watching a good film with a few friends, and maybe playing some video games. The notion of going out on a pub crawl and ending up handcuffed to a lamppost is nothing short of repulsive to me, never mind some of the more lairy activities expected of a stag night. But I could hardly bow out as the best man, now could I? And Twilight is always saying I should get off the farm more.
So I went, not exactly with my heart and soul in it, but willing to let Mac have a fun night. Of course, you could say the same thing about the groom himself. Big Mac isn’t exactly a renowned party animal. Like me, he’s fairly restrained, something that I know drives Discord to distraction. Still, the draconequus was determined to show him a good time. And so, a week before the wedding, we all set out for Las Pegasus.
Now if only I could remember any of it…
Given that Discord was running the show, I think that’s probably for the best. Still, whatever he did must have been pretty wild, since one of the few souvenirs of my visit to the city of sin, aside from a sizeable stack of winnings from the casino and a few dozen photos of us all having a good time, is a document stating that I am forever banned from all casinos in the city, along with a warning that I will be arrested if I ever try to come back. I guess that, amidst the drinking, I must have found my way to the blackjack tables. Card counting, contrary to popular belief, isn’t that complicated, nor is basic strategy. And while it isn’t illegal and you don’t need to be Rain Man, casinos don’t like it when you win consistently, and after forcing the issue, will tell you that they no longer want your business and invite you to cash out your chips and be on your way.
Either that, or the pit boss and his goons take you to The Box and break a few bones to teach you a lesson. So I guess that put an end to any prospective gambling career for me here. Although I suppose I could always dust off my tuxedo and hop on the train down to Monte Coltco. I wouldn't mind a shoe or two of chemin de fer some time.
Mind you, by all accounts, Sugar Belle had an equally wild hen night courtesy of Pinkie. The following morning, Sugarcube Corner looked like a twister had hit it and the place was filled with semi-conscious hungover mares. So I think we can call it a case of Even Stevens.
We were done with all that now though. The vows had been made, the licence signed, and the reception was in full swing. Big Mac was happily dancing with his new wife while I took a break at one of the dining tables and listened to the music. As I began to drift off, my dad sat down to join me, having danced the afternoon away with Mum.
“You ever think about it, Bones?” he asked, catching my attention.
“Think about what?” I replied.
“Marriage,” he elaborated, gesturing to the happy couple across the way. “You know your mother has been circling like a vulture waiting for you to pop the question to dear Applejack. She is rather hoping for grandkids at some point.” I rolled my eyes at that. What is it with mothers and grandchildren?
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “Maybe someday.”
“Well you better be careful,” he said jokingly. “You two have been living together long enough. Before you know it common law will kick in.” I rolled my eyes.
“Dad, you're the legal advisor to the princesses. You of all people should know that common law marriage is a load of horse apples.”
“Yes, boy,” Dad said with a slightly sad smile. “I was just joking. But seriously, you two have been together for a couple years now. You clearly love each other. Why not get down on one knee for the girl?”
See, this is where my relationship with Applejack is a bit different than most. I love her, of course, and she loves me. But our relationship is often...well, it’s more like very close friends. I mean, in the time I’ve known her, I can, or rather could if I still had hands, count the times we’ve been intimate on one hand. Yes from time to time we cuddle together and share romantic moments, and yes I do very much love her. But we still sleep in separate rooms most of the time. We don’t follow the norms of couples. Applejack is just the same as me, not being overly romantic, and certainly a far cry from the likes of Rarity. Yes, she too does, from time to time, do something intimate with me, but it isn’t a regular thing.
I remember once I tried to explain to a good friend in college, back when I was first discovering my asexuality, the concept. I could form romantic attachments, but it took a lot of time. And even if I was in love with someone, while that love could be extremely strong, I still wouldn’t feel the need to sleep with them. They looked at me, puzzled for a few moments, and then said I was kind of like The Doctor and his companions. It was a decent comparison, after all, he cares for them, in some cases more than friendship or family, but he never did anything physical with them. It simply didn’t interest him.
That’s basically how I feel about Applejack. I love her, of that there is no question. But at the same time, I didn’t love her as most would expect a stallion to love a mare. And while she has never openly objected to that, I know that AJ isn’t like me, she is attracted to me physically and to a degree needs that intimacy that I can’t give. To ask her to marry me, even if I did accommodate her own needs, just wouldn’t be right. I don’t experience sexual attraction. I’ve never been lost in the throes of passion. I’ve never looked at a mare and wanted her in that way. No matter how much you love someone, between the two of us, there would always be a gap. I love her, and for that reason, I would never ask her to marry me.
“It’s more complicated than that, Dad,” I said, still watching the two dance. Applejack was up there too with Apple Bloom. “I know ponies say how we’re all in love but, honestly, we’re more like really close friends most of the time. To be honest, I’ve been thinking about havin’ a talk with AJ about what we are.” To my surprise, Dad let out a short laugh.
“What do you think me and your mother are, Bones?” I looked up in surprise as he continued. “Yes, she’s my wife and I love her. But most of the time, we’re not being all romantic and such, we’re just close to each other. It’s like your grandad told me when I got married. He said ‘You done good, Roger. Cause, you know, your missus, she should be more than just your wife, she should be your best mate and all’. And I can see you two are that close. I know you’ve got your own hangups, and I’m sure Applejack has hers. But speaking as a man who’s been successfully married for over twenty five years, and who saw you two idiots were sweet on each other in the first place, I’d say you’ve got a decent shot at something with her.”
I pondered his words as the dance before us ended. He was right in what he said, but so was I in what I knew. And hey, it wasn’t like this was a ticking clock affair. We both had plenty of time to think about it. Maybe once the whole business with the coronation is over and done with, we can talk about it. It wouldn’t be long now, only a couple weeks to go. Maybe if I explained, he’d understand. But, like most people, I’d rather die than discuss my sex life with my parents.
As the band prepared to start up again, Apple Bloom scurried off to join her friends, leaving Applejack alone on the dance floor. Like any good coltfriend, I got up and trotted over. Whatever else you might say about our relationship, odd as it is, you can never say that I’m not romantic. I led Applejack in a dance just as I had at the reunion.
But while I was doing that, far away, cruel, twisted minds were regarding Equestria with envious eyes, and slowly but surely drawing their plans not only against us, but against their supposed master. Before Twilight could take the throne, Good would have to clash with Evil one last time.
It was the day of the coronation. Today, Twilight Sparkle, that adorable little bookworm who not so long ago arrived in Ponyville solely to oversee preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration and wanted to return to Canterlot as soon as possible, would be taking the throne, having become a wise, if at times a little anxious leader, who had saved Equestria more times that I cared to remember. In a way, I was feeling a little sorrowful. I would certainly miss having her and Spike around, and being able to just drop in to see her at the castle to chat about some new book or spell she was working on, or the latest friendship mission. On the other hoof though, this day marked a huge turning point for Equestria. Now if only the wider populace reflected that.
The growing disharmony had been getting worse. It still wasn’t all out strife, but even in Ponyville it was beginning to affect life. Earth ponies and pegasi I had called friends now refused to speak to me. Hell, I had to stop running the market stall because whenever I did, no earth pony would come and buy anything, believing that I was a rich, snobby unicorn who would cheat them out of their hard earned bits. Everyone in our little family was feeling the strain. Apple Bloom and the Crusaders had seen a major drop off in business for their cutie mark consultancy because of each individual’s race putting other ponies off. We were even having trouble from other earth ponies, who were, in some cases, trying to force an embargo on free trade in town, with special taxes for non-earth ponies. It was like sitting in some mad Indian throwback, with castes and laws governing who could talk with whom. And more alarmingly, it seemed there were only a few sane ponies left. The Apples and our friends, particularly the Mane Six all thought it was nonsense, as did the princesses. My own family too, although less affected by it, were equally alarmed and baffled. And what was worse was that while it had started as rumour and insane hearsay, some of what ponies was saying was coming true. Unicorns were getting more greedy and distrustful, pegasi tended to their own towns first, and earth ponies were hoarding their crops. In all honesty, I figured it would take just one little spark to set off a full scale civil war.
The worst part was that there seemed to be nothing I could do about it. I tried to talk to the unicorns I knew around, but everypony was so wrapped up in the conspiracies and wracked by mistrust that they wouldn’t listen. Some even called me disloyal to my tribe. It was a fine sodding way for Twilight to begin her reign, and I was sorry to see Celestia and Luna step down with the realm in such a state.
School was no better. While the non-pony students were no longer having to put up with racism, they now found themselves in the middle of another argument. The students of each tribe were dividing up into cliques, and trying to drag as many of their non-pony friends in with them. It made for more than a few Sophie’s Choice type scenarios. It pissed me off. I mean, these students were meant to be learning about the magic of friendship, and here they were all but tearing each other's eyes out. As I tried to get on with my lesson on magic, I ran out of patience. When the students filed in, the non-pony students sat in their normal seats, but the ponies seemed to segregate themselves. I frowned as everypony sat down, casting distrustful glares at each other.
“Right,” I said with something of a snarl. “How about we try this again? Let’s pretend for a moment that we all come from the same land, speak the same language, and apart from a few minor differences, are the same species. I will not have this Jim Crow horse apples in my classroom! Now all of you, get up! I want everypony sitting next to somepony of a different tribe! Now!”
The pony students did as they were told. But almost instantly the arguing began.
“Eww! No way! I’m not sitting next to some revolting dirt pony!” A unicorn mare sneered.
“And I’m not sitting next to some dumbass feather duster!”
“Why are we even listening to this horn head anyway?” A pegasus student shouted, pointing at me. “It’s their fault there’s all this disharmony in the first place!”
And with that, Bedlam returned. Gallus, and the other non-pony students, particularly our resident yak Yona, did their best to calm things down, but it soon turned into an all out and out brawl.
A brawl! Here! In the School of Friendship! Between ponies! I’d had enough. I had no more patience, no more fucks to give, no more diplomatic niceness. Seeing no other option, I resorted to the Starlight Glimmer method of teaching.
“That is it!” I bellowed.
Activating my magic, I poured all my strength into a levitation spell and, in a move that by my standards was pretty close to impossible, picked up all the ponies in the room in my magic. I was about to forcibly stick them in assigned seats, to Hell with the consequences. Luckily, at that moment, Starlight arrived to tell me the world was ending.
Short version; Discord’s plan had come unstuck. Turns out his three little apprentices had been able to find the bell after all. Their break in at the archives gave them the knowledge of how to use it. They’d taken his magic, though luckily couldn’t use it yet, and were now planning to attack Equestria and divide the place up between themselves.
Shorter version; in the words of James May, cock.
But, like all good, and some bad leaders, Twilight had a plan. She was calling for a networked defence around Canterlot. With her and the princesses there, excluding Cadence, it would be their most likely target. After all, she was the one who had always bested them, or had a hoof in it. Twilight, the princesses and her friends would defend the city. On the outskirts, around the Canterhorn, the Pillars of Old Equestria, pulled out of retirement, would act as an outer line, and finally, here, Starlight and Trixie would help to protect the school and Ponyville. If needed, one could fall back on the other, giving early warning at the same time. If there were three villains, it made sense to have three branches of heroes to put them down with.
Naturally, there was no way I was sitting on the sidelines for this one, and I quickly volunteered my services.
“I need you to help Trixie get all the students to shelter,” she explained. “We’ll use the caves under the school. If Chrysalis, Cozy or Tirek come here looking for me, they’ll be safe down there.”
Chrysalis and Cozy did rather have it in for Starlight. After all, she humbled and dethroned the changeling, and it was her removal from Cozy’s little incantation that caused the draining spell to collapse. To Tirek, she’d probably just be more magic. Still, there was no time to waste.
“Alright, you heard Professor Starlight,” I barked. “Everycreature follow me down to the caves. Leave your stuff here, just like a fire drill.”
The upside of this sudden turn of events was that the inter tribe squabbling was, for the most part, forgotten. Not entirely, but the nonsense seemed to lift a little.
We all headed out of the classroom and into the corridor, which was already full of students evacuating to the basement. We didn’t know how much time we had. After all, with no magic, Discord had had to walk to sound the alarm. Still, I, as did Starlight and Trixie, did my best not to panic. Panic and fear, I knew, were contagious things. But so was courage. So I kept calm and kept buggering on as Churchill would have put it.
The evacuation went pretty smoothly. There was some understandable panic, but for the most part, the students did as they were told, trusting their teachers. Once the last of the students were down the manhole, that left just Starlight, Trixie and myself above ground.
“You two head on down,” Starlight instructed. “I’ll stay up here. If any of our old friends do come calling, I don’t want any of the students in harm's way.”
“Well I’m not leaving you up here alone!” Trixie said defiantly.
“Agreed,” I added. “If there’s going to be trouble, I plan on being here to give it five rounds rapid.” Starlight however, was having none of it.
“No!” she said. “I need you two to stay and look after the students in case I...” she trailed off for a moment before she recovered herself. “They need someone to look after them. The both of you are to protect them at all costs. Understand?”
“Trixie...Trixie understands,” the showmare said tearfully, before hugging her friend.
“Good luck, Starlight,” I said. “Give ‘em hell, and we’ll do the same.”
With that, Trixie and I started to head down into the caves.
And that was when the whole building shook.
“Get in there! Now!” Starlight ordered.
With one last look as the mare turned to fight, I did the difficult deed of closing the hatch behind me.
Heading down the passageway, deeper into the cave system, I soon found Trixie again, who was doing her best to calm the now frightened students. They’d all heard and felt the shockwave. For all I knew, the school above us was a smoking ruin by now, with the rubble piled on top of us. Luckily, the caves let out a fair distance away outside of Ponyville, so it wasn’t like we were trapped here.
Still, it seemed that Starlight had indeed engaged the enemy. Who that was I didn’t know, it could be all three of them, or just one. That though, wasn’t really at the forefront of my mind. Starlight and the others would deal with the bad guys. My job, along with Trixie, was to look after the students. As much as I wanted to turn around and help Starlight, I knew that I would most likely be more a hindrance than a help. After all, look at how Sombra wiped the floor with me when I tried to face him one on one. From what I understood, this ancient magic that our old foes had taken was originally Grogar’s, stored in his ancient bell. It was on par with an alicorn, but with far more reserves, meaning they could cast spells that would tire even the likes of Celestia. I wouldn’t have a chance.
More to the point, while a part of me wanted to help, another part of me was quite happy to stay here in these caves and wait for things to blow over. After all, who knew what Discord’s former apprentices were capable of now? I certainly didn’t fancy the idea of getting captured, or worse.
So, I joined Trixie in ushering the students deeper into the cave. Our biggest concern right now was detection. Yes, these caves provided shelter, but their main defence was that whoever was attacking didn’t know we were here. I mean, I doubted we were of much concern to them, but if they figured out we were down here and launched a concerted attack, we’d be screwed. So we needed to get deeper into the caves.
That was easier said than done. While getting them down here was easy enough, once the proverbial shooting started, panic began to set in. Worse still, despite all that was going on, the pony students were still bickering over tribal nonsense, splitting into groups. Instead of the spirit of the Blitz I was hoping for, it seemed to be a case of every pony for himself. United, we’d be able to weather this storm. But like this, we were less than helpless. As Trixie and I herded the students into one of the larger open caverns, I tried to calm things down.
“Alright, everypony. Settle down!” I called out over frightened shouts. “We’re quite safe down here. Just keep calm. Princess Twilight will soon put a stop to this.”
“Princess Twilight?!” one of the students parroted in exasperation. “Oh yeah, sure, let’s all get the mutant unicorn to come save us.”
“Stow that horse apples!” I barked angrily. “She and her friends, from each tribe I might add, have saved Equestria time and time again, including each of the foes we’re currently facing.”
“Maybe if they did a better job at it, we wouldn’t be in this mess!” another pony piped up.
“They probably would have if they didn’t have those stupid pegasus ponies with them,” said another.
“As if,” a pegasus retorted. “Without us, you’d all have no way to water crops or end winter.”
“Yeah, you really showed that when the Storm King covered Canterlot!”
“At least I don’t come from a species that repeatedly abuses their magic for their own gain!”
“And at least I’m something other than a strong back and cheap labour!”
This was hopeless, and I was about to try and shut them all up again when the cavern shook with another impact. Some very powerful magic was at play out there. Dust and a few pebbles fell from the ceiling. I felt Trixie standing beside me as I looked up.
“That doesn’t sound good,” she said warily.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “But it depends on who’s doing the blasting. What in the name of Celestia are we gonna do with these kids? It’s bad enough we’re all but at war, and they’re still keeping up this racist nonsense.”
“Trying times can force ponies apart as much as it can bring them together,” Trixie replied. “Especially when the seeds of discord have been planted beforehand.” I snorted and nodded in agreement.
“So how do we dig them out?” I asked. “We’ve both tried reasoning with them for the last month or so. But they just don’t listen.” Trixie thought for a moment.
“It has been the observation of the Great and Powerful Trixie,” she said, theatrically rolling her r’s. “That ponies react more to actions than mere words. Telling ponies you can vanquish an Ursa Major is one thing. A certain irritating unicorn turned alicorn levitating an Ursa Minor through the sky however, produces very different results.”
“Actions speak louder than words, eh?” I summarised.
“Precisely.”
But what could we do to help unify the students and get all three tribes working together again. The caves we were in, whilst subterranean, were not strictly underground. Around the school, there were several gorges and chasms. The caves let out into these through several pathways, but there were also a few breaches in the walls of the caves here and there, which let light in and let you see out. Not that there was much to see at the moment. Plus, Trixie had instructed the students to gather against the stronger walls for added protection, so nopony was looking out at the moment. Well, nopony that I’d spotted.
As we tried to deal with things, we heard another loud crash, albeit a little further away from us. This time the caves didn’t shake with the impact. Was the battle moving further away? Wanting to try and find something out, I trotted over to the outside wall to take a look. To my surprise, I found Gallus already there, his sharper eyes peering out.
“Gallus!” I snapped. “Get back with the others. You heard what Counsellor Trixie said.” Gallus did indeed back away, a look of utter terror on his face.
“Er...I think you better take a look at this, Professor,” he said shakily. That didn’t bode well.
Going up to his porthole, I closed my one eye and squinted through with the other. What I saw made my blood run cold.
The sky, previously clear and bright, was now overcast with thick dark clouds that seemed to stretch on forever. From those clouds, in the middle of September, came snowflakes, falling thick and fast. A wind was now howling too. There was already a faint shade of white as the snow began to stick. And worse still, that wasn’t the only thing in the sky. Swirling around the clouds, endlessly circling like wolves waiting out their prey, were large ethereal beings. Their heads had a vague horse like quality to them, but they were no equines.
“Oh dear Celestia,” I whispered in horror. “The Windigoes”
It made sense of course. With the three tribes divided as they were, the fire of friendship that had banished them had dwindled down to but an ember. There was now nothing to stop them returning, and with them, endless snow and cold, which would only grow stronger with the disharmony. If it wasn’t checked soon, the snow would fall, rivers would freeze, uncontrollable winter weather would cover all Equestria. And then...well, we might last a month, maybe two. But as the temperature dropped, eventually the inevitable would happen, and we would all freeze to death.
“It never rains, but it pours,” I said to myself.
Here we were, with Twilight and all of Equestria’s heroes fighting to protect us, and we’d just gone and made things a thousand times worse. Even if they would defeat Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy before things got too serious, there was no way to stop the Windigoes bar reuniting the three tribes. The last time this happened, at the first ever Hearth’s Warming, they survived with only seconds to spare. And that was assuming a lot too. The truth was, beyond ancient stories, we knew next to nothing about Windigoes. Hell, even I honestly thought they were either fictional or long dead.
I found myself getting angry. Angry at all the ponies who had just seemingly forgotten everything Equestria stood for; honesty, loyalty, generosity, kindness, laughter, magic. Even amongst these students, specialising in Friendship Studies, it seemed to have all flown out the window. Every man has his breaking point, and I just reached mine. A wave of magic washed over me and my colour faded as the hopeless magic that once overtook Twilight and her friends, and at one time afflicted the pretty hamlet of Hope Hollow, did a number on me. I turned back to Trixie and the huddled mass of students.
“Brilliant!” I exclaimed, a half mad look in my eye. “Well done, everypony. Great job! Thanks to you, and others like you, we are all, in all likelihood, going to die shortly. Out there, it’s snowing, and Windigoes circle the skies. You, each and every one of you, are responsible. Distrusting your former friends, just because of their race, spreading rumours and lies, listening to nonsense gossip. Equestria is now so divided, that it has all but fallen! I hope you are all proud of yourselves, you students of friendship!”
The students, and Trixie, took my ranting and raving with a mixture of silence and fear. Before too long though, they were rushing to the portholes to look out at the scene outside. They were all suitably terrified and were asking both me and Trixie the same single question. What did we do now?
“Don’t you get it?” I replied. “There’s nothing we can do! Unless the three tribes reunify and the disharmony ends, the Windigoes have an infinite supply of hatred and mistrust to feed off of.”
Now, in my heart of hearts, I knew that good would somehow prevail. We might not have had a plan, or in fact any idea of what to do. But I knew something would save us. Others however, were not so passive in their approach.
“Then we need to take away that fuel!” Ocellus said defiantly.
“Ocellus is right!” Silverstream agreed. “If Headmare Twilight and the other professors are busy fighting, then we need to do something to stop this!”
“Like what?” Gallus observed. “You heard Professor Star; everypony is so distrustful of each other. Plus, you know, insanely powerful villains running amok.”
“Exactly!” the hippogriff replied. “We take out one, we can defeat the other. If ponies can work together to defeat one evil, then the magic of friendship would be able to stop the other.”
“But ponies are all barricading themselves away from each other,” Sandbar pointed out.
“And they’re not exactly in a talking mood,” Smoulder added.
“Then we get help from elsewhere!” Silverstream declared. “Equestria and the ponies have helped out all of our homes at one time or another. I think it’s time we repaid the favour! Those villains may be tough. But not even they could defeat everyone. When the ponies see all their allies coming to help them, it will help them realise their own unity. I say we get as many allies as we can and head for Canterlot!”
“Trixie agrees!” the resident magician trumpeted. All eyes now turned to me.
“Well,” I said, now sounding a little more like myself as my previously lost colour returned as I found a new source of hope.. “It’s better than my idea of letting the Windigoes take down the three villains and then trying to save the world.”
And so, the non-pony students, along with Sandbar divided themselves up. They would all return to their homes and endeavour to raise some sort of counter strike force. An army of dragons, changelings, yaks, hippogriffs and griffons, to say nothing of the other species that called Equestria home, would more than likely tip the balance of power in our favour. There was however, one small problem.
While we had been sitting here nattering away, Starlight had been busy fighting Chrysalis. And it was not going well for the unicorn. She’d nearly had her foe a couple of times, but they were very evenly matched, possibly even tipping the scales in Chrysalis’ favour. Above us, very close at hoof, we heard and felt a powerful magic blast. Something was blasting its way into the caves. If our plan was going to work, we needed to move now.
“Right, the six of you. Head down along this passage and turn left. That will lead you to a door that will take you out to the edge of the Everfree. From there head for your homes and don’t look back. Don’t stop for anything. Trixie, you take the rest of the students the other way and try to get them to Ponyville.”
“What about you?” Trixie asked, half suspecting the answer. The magical blasts were getting closer. Whatever it was was now in the caves with us.
“I’ll use my magic to cave in the tunnel behind us. We’ll still be able to get out the same way as these six, but it should stop whoever is out there from getting to us, at least for a while. The energy in the crystals here inhibits teleportation and other complex spells, so they won’t be able to follow. Get the kids away first in case the cave-in goes further than I plan it to.” Trixie nodded in understanding.
We quickly began to get the students moving again. Gallus and the others who’d previously helped stop Cozy took a left for the exit out into the canyon. They would scatter as soon as they were away and do their best to call in the cavalry. This bell might have made our old foes more dangerous, but even they couldn’t take on everyone. An army of ponies, griffons, dragons, changelings, yaks, and hippogriffs, to say nothing of the other species that called Equestria home, would be more than equal to the task of stopping these lunatics.
I lingered a moment, picking out the best place to bring the ceiling down. It would be simple enough. My magic could destabilise the structure and bring the whole ceiling down, blocking up the tunnel with tonnes of rock. I almost waited too long.
All of a sudden, just as everypony else moved out of sight, there was an almighty bang as the opposite wall was blasted away. I ducked and shielded my eyes to avoid debris. And when I opened them again, I got my first glimpse at an old foe, for there stood Chrysalis.
The bell and its magic had done quite a number on her, evidently having to change her body to accommodate the magic. Just as Tirek grew when he gained more magic, and why Celestia, Luna and Cadence were taller than the average pony, Chrysalis had been altered. Her wings were a little larger than I remembered, and she seemed to have acquired some new horseshoes and regalia. The most striking thing though was her eyes. The whites were now a sickly yellowish green. Curiously though, the magic hadn’t filled in the holes in her legs as had happened when other changelings reformed. Maybe before she tried this stunt she should have remembered just who gave her entire species those holes.
Our eyes met at almost the same instant, and I was instantly overcome with fear. I’m no coward, sure, but when confronted with a creature who has the better part of two feet in height on you, and has powers than was on par with alicorns, common sense tells you to at least be careful. Don’t get me wrong, a part of me wanted to fight her. Hell, a part of me wanted to lunge straight at her and tear the filthy whore’s throat out with my teeth. As much as I don’t like to admit it, there is, and probably always will be, that dark facet of my personality that holds a grudge. But saner heads pointed out that I wouldn’t last long against her even if she was at her normal strength. To try anything now would be a fine way to get myself killed.
A sick smile fell over the changeling’s mouth when she saw me. That was more than enough to spur me to action. Tilting my horn skyward, I blasted away with desperate abandon at the rock above. A cave-in soon started, albeit hardly the safe, planned one I wanted. It ended up bringing down the roof throughout pretty much the entire chamber, protecting me from Chrysalis as it created a nigh impenetrable barrier between us. And on the other side, Chrysalis turned her attention back to Starlight.
With some protection in place, I hurried to catch up with Trixie and the others. The good news was that the six students had gotten away without trouble. The winged members of their team had carried the ground dwelling Sandbar and Yona out of the gorge. The rest of us would now head for Ponyville. Still, things looked bleak, and soon became far worse.
The Windigoes were getting stronger and now covered most of Equestria in a grey cloud. The snow wasn’t thick yet, or sticking, but if something wasn’t done soon it would.
As our little column came into Ponyville, we saw a scene that was being played out across Equestria, while Canterlot Castle, heavily damaged, smouldered. Ponies were holed up, isolating themselves from the other tribes. Despite all that was going on, they couldn’t bring themselves to trust one another, simply acting to protect themselves. It was very human in a way.
We all arrived in Ponyville just after Applejack and the others left to look for Twilight. The earth ponies were holed up around Town Hall and in a state of panic. Canterlot and Cloudsdale had also sealed themselves off, an act which only further strengthened the Windigoes.
I might not be able to fight villains and monsters, but I wasn’t about to stand idly by while my home crumbled around me. The six students were off gathering allies from beyond our borders. It was time to recruit some home grown talent. Leaving Trixie to look after the kids, I sought out Mayor Mare.
“Mayor!” I called out, catching her attention. She was standing on the steps of Town Hall talking with my dad. Mum was not too far off. “Thank Celestia you’re here. I need your help. I need all your help. We have a plan to stop what’s happening!”
“Not now, Bones!” she exclaimed crossly. “I’ve got enough problems here as it is. With no weather pegasi, there’s nopony to control these storms, we’re at risk of being snowed under. We need to get everypony into shelters.”
“Mayor, listen!” I persisted. “Those storms are being caused by the Windigoes. They’re feeding on the disharmony of ponies. We need to stop them to help Princess Twilight and the others. You know all these rumours are nonsense. The reason we’re losing now is because we’re divided. If we all act together, we can still win. Some of the students have gone to other cities, and even beyond Equestria for help. But we need the earth ponies too. Unless we all act together, we have no hope.”
“See, Mayor,” Dad chimed in. “It’s just as I’ve been telling you. Someone has been deliberately undermining ponies for months now, specifically for this moment. We need to get ponies together to fight this.”
Luckily, Mayor Mare showed why I’d voted for her every election since I got here. Back on Earth, in contrast, every general election I’d stayed home, thoroughly disillusioned with the democratic process.
“What are you proposing?” she asked as ponies started to gather around.
“That we all join forces,” I explained. “Set aside our differences, and unite to defeat perhaps the greatest evil we’ve ever faced. Working together, the three tribes founded Equestria. Alone, we will only be agents of its destruction. I ask you, all of you, to help to defend your home.”
And wouldn’t you know it, little by little, ponies began to come around. Big Mac was the first to step forward.
“Bones ain’t never steered us wrong,” he declared in a booming voice. “And I’m willin’ to do anythin’ to save my friends and family!”
“Big Mac’s right!” Dr Whooves agreed. “A house divided against itself cannot stand!”
“It sure as anything beats cowering in hiding like this!” Cheerilee agreed.
Voice after voice joined them. We had the earth ponies on our side. I looked up at the sky. The Windigoes didn’t look quite as intimidating now.
About an hour or so later, we had our army. The students had returned with hundreds of their kin, along with pegasi, unicorns, even buffalo and kirin, never mind my human parents who also volunteered to help. Literally everycreature in Equestria was coming to help. The disharmony was fading fast. Old friendships rekindled as did the fire of friendship. Ponyville was filled with dragons, changelings, yaks, griffons, hippogriffs, to say nothing of the ponies. Even old friends like Tempest Shadow had come to the party as had Shining and Cadence, who brought us news of Twilight and the others. I don’t care what magical malarkey you have to hoof, nothing would stop this. All that remained was to march the troops out. As Prince of the Crystal Empire, and the only pony on scene with any real military experience, Shining took charge. Activating his magic, he picked up a megaphone, and he and Cadence walked up to the balcony of Town Hall. As the creatures below prepared themselves, Shining began and flipped on the megaphone. It squealed a little with feedback before he got it working right.
“Good morning,” he began, catching everycreature’s attention. Hundreds of eyes were now on him and Cadence, myself included.
“In less than an hour, forces from here will join others from all around the world. And you will be launching the largest battle in the history of Equestria.” he paused for a moment and smiled. “Equestria, that name should have a renewed meaning today. We can’t be consumed by petty differences any more. Our three tribes will be united in friendship.”
As he continued, I felt my courage building as I looked out at the dazzling array of creatures who had been helped by friendship over the years. A testament to the most powerful magic.
“Perhaps it is fate that today was to be the day of Princess Twilight’s coronation. The same day so long ago when the Two Sisters first raised the sun and the moon over a unified homeland. And we will once again be fighting for that same cause, not for land, or honour, or glory, but for friendship. To bring the light, and to banish the darkness and the cold. We are fighting for everything that Equestria stands for. Honesty, loyalty, generosity, kindness, laughter, and magic.”
His voice grew louder and more confident as he drew his little speech to a point.
“And should we win the day. Today will not be just an Equestrian holiday. But the day that the entire world declared to evil, in one voice...
“We will not bow down to you!”
“We will not be driven apart!”
“We’re going to fight you. We’re going to defeat you, at every turn.”
“For friendship is magic!”
The crowd cheered, unicorns fired their magic into the air, and pegasi flew little loops in excitement. Okay, it may have borrowed from and slightly tweaked a speech from an old but gold action movie, but it worked nonetheless. Our vast column set out for Canterlot. Unbeknownst to us though, Twilight and the others had already made their move.
And to think I was worried about making a best man's speech.
I think we all know what happened next. Twilight and the others were backed into a corner when the villains, in a cowardly move, took Spike hostage, and threatened to tear his wings off. But just before the worst could come to pass, we all stepped in. Every unicorn channelled their magic together, creating a barrier that not even their ancient magic could penetrate.
From there, the battle was brief as Twilight regained her confidence, friendship returned for good and all, and the magic of friendship came into play.
I can’t quite describe what it was like. I’d seen Twilight and the others use it, but I had no idea what it would feel like. The positive magic, full of hope, love, closeness, and virtue flowed through me and everyone else like a wave of warm water. United together, we channelled it all into the Elements, and from there, Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy, once again took a rainbow to the face. It stripped them of their magic, returning Cozy to being just a pegasus, and leaving Tirek an emaciated frail old man. Only Chrysalis remained defiant.
We did actually have one scare. While the magic was sent back into the bell, it briefly fell into Pinkie’s hooves, and she almost went mad. Well, madder than usual. She actually stopped Chrysalis’ threats mid sentence by summoning and dropping a huge cupcake on them all with her briefly acquired chaos magic. Luckily, Discord stepped in and took his own magic back and returned Celestia’s and Luna’s magic. That just left us with three helpless and hapless villains.
I expected Tartarus. I was kind of hoping for reformation somehow. Whatever else I might say about Chrysalis in particular, I do respect her. If she could reform, I would take no issue with her goal of leading her people again. Cozy, with a sufficient amount of electroshock therapy could probably be brought around. And even Tirek might be fixable, if we could locate his brother and help them reconcile.
Celestia however, as it turned out, had run out of patience. Tirek had been a threat for over a millennia and despite having had four defeats by now still hadn’t learned. Cozy wasn’t as bad, but had never for a moment shown any remorse for her actions, and had even been helped by others in the past to no avail. And Chrysalis...she had been a thorn in our collective side for so long. She too had tried and failed time and again without learning her lesson. Heck, I later discovered that she even found the magic of friendship up on Mount Everhoof and coldly cast it aside, despite the fact that, without it, they would never have gotten the bell in the first place. As a result, the alicorn took a more emphatic approach, and finally, if you ask me, got revenge on Chrysalis for knocking her down back at the wedding.
Celestia, Luna and Discord used their combined magic to replicate the effects of the Elements, and turned all three villains to stone. Tirek was frozen begging, Cozy was cowering. Only Chrysalis remained defiant to the end, screaming promises of revenge with her final breath as her form was frozen as the stone encased her.
And so, that was that. Evil was vanquished, the Windigoes were driven away as the three tribes reunified. All that remained was for everycreature to take their leave. Well, that and mend the damage to the castle. That opening battle had pretty much destroyed the throne room and a couple of the towers too. Twilight decreed that her coronation would be held off until repairs were completed.
It was only then, after what felt like forever, that I finally managed to meet up with AJ again, as well as my own family. We all returned to Ponyville for a huge party to celebrate our victory and the renewal of our bonds.
In the end, there were so many ponies, griffons, yaks, changelings, dragons, and any other creature you can think of, that not even Pinkie Pie could find a single place to hold the party. But with the help of Cheese Sandwich, perhaps the only pony quite as mad as her, they got a party going right across Ponyville, and even on Sweet Apple Acres; a street party, but taken up to eleven. Sugarcube Corner churned out food, as did all the other cafes in town, Sweet Apple Acres helped out with apples, juice, cider, and anything else we had on hoof in surplus. There was even music being played through gramophones and phonographs ponies hauled outside. Bunting and streamers decked the skyline, hanging from almost every building.
“God, this reminds me of how Dad described VE Day,” Mum said, referring to my granddad.
It was certainly a fitting comparison. The war was over; every single baddie was now either defeated or had seen the error of their ways. Evil had genuinely been conquered and good had prevailed at last. All of us had come together, as one, and channelled the magic of friendship to save the day. I was reminded of a book I’d read in university, Fukuyama’s ‘The End of History and the Last Man’. Published at the end of the Cold War and the collapse of communism, he postulated that there was now nothing to impede the spread of Western liberal democracy across the world.
Of course, not too long later, we all heard three loud bangs and the world changed. But that was besides the point. Equestria didn’t have any insane Wahabist whack jobs with access to flight simulators. As of today, the only evidence of evil was a new statue to stick in the castle gardens. Of course, there would still be friendship problems here and there. As Luna said when we talked about her retirement, the world would be a rather dull place otherwise. But there would be no more near world ending events.
“It’s better than VE Day, Mum,” I said, clinking my cup of punch with hers. “That was just the day one evil was defeated. Today, Evil itself bit the dust. This is the lion lying down with the lamb.”
“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Lizzie said as she joined us. “For all we know there’s another Storm King hiding out somewhere, or some other monster from a thousand years ago. I don’t think we’ll ever come across any villain as dangerous as those three were, but I don’t think we won’t ever see a villain again either.”
“Well, I can live with either of those realities,” Mum said happily. “Say, you haven’t seen your father have you, Lizzie?” The pegasus shook her head.
“Not since we got back,” she replied. “I saw him talking with Discord and the princesses before.”
Ah yes, now that you come to mention it, there was that one fly in the ointment. Positive in the end or not, Discord had, intentionally, set three very dangerous villains loose on Equestria. And his overconfidence had very nearly brought ruin to us all. Add to that the fact that Dad and I were somewhat complicit, given how we both knew what he was doing and kept silent, albeit under orders from the Tree with the best of intentions, and for me at least, it rather put a dent in the party atmosphere.
“I’ll go see if I can find him,” I said, politely excusing myself as Lizzie and Mum were joined by Dewdrop and a few of their other friends.
Leaving the party, and heading outside of town, I found my Dad, still chatting away with Celestia and Luna, along with Discord. We’d all been in too much danger to really address the results of Discord’s antics, although Twilight and the others did forgive him. I mean, let’s be fair for a moment. His plan was sound to look at. He figured the villains wouldn’t team up due to how much they hated each other, and his own experience with Tirek. He didn’t consider the idea that they would lie about finding the bell, because why would they if they were all working together under him? Ironically, it was their near discovery of friendship that brought it all down. And he figured that his own magic, which outclassed all of them, would be a perfectly suitable safety net if push came to shove.
I joined them just as Dad was explaining himself to Celestia.
“And so the Tree’s avatar forbade me from interfering with the course of events. God knows I wanted to. Hell, I had half a mind to take Discord’s head off. The choice was keep quiet, knowing that ponies would suffer but ultimately triumph, or interfere and set us on an unknown course. I figured it was a case of better the devil you know.” Celestia stood, pensively chewing on her cheek.
“You could make the argument, Roger,” she said, in a stern tone. “That you deliberately deceived me, and that you are just as much responsible for all this as Discord is.”
“Fair,” he agreed with a slight nod.
“But on the other hoof,” she went on, now looking at him again. “You do make a convincing argument. As trying as today has been, I cannot remember a single moment in my life when the bonds between ponies have been so strong.”
“Indeed,” Luna agreed. “Evil has been vanquished and my sister and I can step down knowing that we are leaving Equestria in a safe pair of hooves. While I would have much preferred to have had this whole mess averted and a more peaceful coronation take place today, we are still better for it. Every trying time for us has ultimately been positive.”
“You’re right there,” I agreed as I walked up. “Say Chrysalis was caught before the wedding. Twilight and her friends would never have learned the important lesson of having faith in each other. Simply stopping Starlight before she became a threat would have prevented her eventual reformation. Even your return, Luna. If Nightmare Moon had not returned to seek vengeance, then Twilight and the others would never have had an opportunity to free you.”
“Clouds and silver linings,” Discord summed up with a smile. I looked to Dad, and then to both princesses, particularly Luna though.
“It still doesn’t make what we did any better. We both still lied by omission.”
“Bones is right,” Dad agreed. “I still violated your trust. I’d understand if you said you wanted me to step down as your advisor, Tia.” Celestia and Luna smiled.
“Both of you,” the elder alicorn said. “Were faced with a difficult decision. You did what you believed to be in the best interest of everypony, while you suffered ceaseless emotional anguish for it. I can imagine that it must have been quite the burden to carry, knowing what was on the horizon. In truth though, I would have done the same as you, and have.” We both looked up in surprise at that.
“You forget,” she went on, smiling a little now. “All the time I spent with Twilight. I didn’t just take her on as my personal student. I was always preparing her for the day she would take the throne. I never told her outright. But I watched her slowly grow up, learn, become more than she was. Eventually, I helped her ascend to become an alicorn. I always planned that this day would come. But if I told her, do you think she would be the mare she is today?”
Very true I thought. Dad agreed, and so we found ourselves, him in particular, tacitly forgiven. Discord on the other hoof...
“Does that mean I get a pass as well?” he asked hopefully. Both alicorns now turned to him.
“A part of me thinks that you ought to be joining your former apprentices in stone for the mess you caused,” Celestia said harshly. “But at the same time, you also helped set things right, and for once your intentions were not to cause chaos.” Discord relaxed a little as Celestia took a breath.
“Just don’t do anything like it again,” she eventually said with a smile and a shake of her head. “Besides, Luna and I are all but retired. Princess Twilight is the one you need to be talking to, and she forgave you.”
I’ve always thought that Celestia had something of a soft spot for Discord. I mean, she was the one to suggest releasing him and reforming him in the first place. I’m not sure if it’s romantic, although there have been odd hints from both sides on that front. In any case, the two do seem to have something of a complicated relationship. Luna now spoke up.
“Now, enough with this,” she said with a smile. “It is time we adjourn to the town and join our subjects in the celebration.”
Dad too seemed to be of the same mind as the two sisters passed out of sight and hearing range.
“Come on, Discord,” he said. “We’d best be on our way too. You too, Bones.”
We only took a few steps when Dad stopped in his tracks, paused and then turned around with a questioning air.
“Oh, there’s just one more thing,” he said in a very Columbo like way. “Come over here a minute, Discord.” He crooked his finger as he gestured for his best friend to come closer. Discord looked a little nervous.
“Er, this isn’t the part where you go postal on me on behalf of Celestia is it?” he asked, sounding slightly nervous. Dad smiled and shook his head.
“No, no,” he assured. “I just want to talk. Come on, I ain’t gonna hit you.” And so Discord did indeed walk closer.
And as soon as he did, Dad nailed him with a solid right hook that sent the draconequus sprawling. He obviously wasn’t too hurt, not that a punch could hurt Discord, since his eyes changed to show a cartoonish ‘no sale’, and a trio of tiny flutterponies circled around his head for a moment.
“I thought you said you weren’t going to hit me,” he lamented as he got back to his feet, rubbing his now tender jaw.
“I thought you said you had those three screwball nut jobs under control,” Dad countered crossly. “Honestly, Discord, you’re thousands of years old. How did you not see it coming?” Discord now grinned knowingly.
“Who says I didn’t?” he asked coyly.
Dad paused for a moment, and, after helping him back to his feet, promptly punched him on the nose again.
“You’re a dick,” he said good naturedly.
“Yeah, and you love me for it.”
Discord, you just can’t stay mad at him.
The party dragged on into the wee hours, slowly dying down as day turned into night. The various species from beyond Equestria’s borders eventually headed back to their homes. As the sun set and the moon rose, I found myself heading back to the field of battle. The statue of the three villains, after having been carefully checked, had been deemed quite safe. According to Twilight, the stone sleep spell, which is what the princesses and Discord had used, did just what it said on the tin. It turned you to stone and put you right to sleep. Our old foes wouldn’t be aware of the passage of time, or affected by it. Celestia and Luna had experienced the same effects during the attack on Canterlot. Only beings with exceptionally powerful magic, like Discord, could remain conscious and attempt to resist the spell.
Not that you would want to remain conscious in such a state. If Discord wasn’t mad when he went in, he certainly was when he came out. It would be like Locked In Syndrome, but so much worse. Although a part of me felt it would be a suitable punishment.
We couldn’t be sure either way without doing the obvious and waking them up to ask, and nopony fancied doing that. As for the statue itself, as with Discord, the plan was to take the trio back to Canterlot and stick them in a quiet section of the gardens. A part of me couldn’t help but disagree with that. After all, while they would no doubt be kept at bay for a long time, spells do fade, and Discord had eventually managed to break free of his confinement. It wasn’t unreasonable to assume that these three might achieve the same some day.
But who knows, maybe a millennia or so like this will convince them to change their ways? It honestly did sadden me the way things turned out. Discord himself had said that he planned, acting as Grogar, to go beyond the pale and try and convince the trio to turn against him and side with the ponies. It would have been interesting to see if that plan worked, and I’d have been a lot happier knowing we had a safety net. But, as the saying goes 'Life is what happens when you’ve made other plans'. As I said before, Chrysalis was the one I was saddened by most. She seemed the most redeemable of the three. And as much as I may dislike her, I could still sort of empathise with her reasoning, at least to begin with. Changelings after all, needed to feed like any species. I just never could understand why she refused to change. Starlight told me, in the aftermath of the second incursion, that there was a moment, between her and Chrysalis, where she saw the queen see, understand, and grasp the idea of sharing love, and never needing to steal love again, and making peace with the ponies. She saw how it would make the changelings better. And yet, despite that, she pridefully refused and started down the path that led here.
It was as if she genuinely could not comprehend the idea. Her mind was so twisted that she couldn’t see all the advantages. The fact that she referred to herself as evil and a villain spoke volumes. At that moment, she could have proved herself a noble and honourable queen, who only ever acted in the interests of her subjects. But in the end, she revealed herself to be nothing more than a vicious, sadistic warlord, with the courage and cunning or a pirate. Still, she’d come damn close to winning on several occasions, and I couldn’t help but admire her for that. Milton had Satan saying 'I would rather rule in Hell than serve in Heaven'. Perhaps Chrysalis felt the same.
The same could not be said for her two compatriots. I mean, let’s be honest, Chrysalis was the unifying force with those three. She came up with the plan to hide the bell, and to try and divide the pony tribes. Tirek was an idiot with daddy issues, obsessed with magic and with few plans beyond acquiring it and thus more power. Cozy was even worse; a pathetic little child with delusions of grandeur. They had far fewer redeeming qualities. Heck, Cozy had been shown the way, offered friendship, and even seen how it could help her. Even as a psychopath who treats others solely as a means to an end, she ought to have been able to see the benefits to herself. And Tirek, well, his own brother had tried to enlighten him, and he only viewed him as a traitor. All three of them were just driven by their hatred, be it of Twilight, or ponies, or even just the idea of friendship.
I remember something I said to Apple Bloom once. She and I had been talking before her bedtime and we ended up discussing Luna’s fall to Nightmare Moon. The little filly, having met the night princess, and knowing her to be a kind and loving person, couldn’t understand how she could become somepony that was evil and how she could still have that same anger when she returned a thousand years later. As is often the case when it comes to matters of morality, I found myself recalling one of the many speeches of Jean-Luc Picard.
“Apple Bloom,” I said to her. “I think, when one has been angry for a very long time, one gets used to it; it becomes comfortable, like...like old leather. And finally, it becomes so familiar, that we can’t ever remember feeling any other way.”
And so, it was the case with those three. They were so desperate to get their revenge on Twilight, or on Equestria, or even friendship in general, that they could think of nothing else. They couldn’t see past it, couldn’t stomach the idea of walking away or doing something different. In that case, I think all three of them deserve pity, if nothing else. What else can you give to an evil who genuinely cannot comprehend good?
I sat a little while longer, looking up at the unsettling faces of the three of them, and wondering what the future may hold, before eventually heading for home again. The future would very soon be upon us. Before too long, we would finally have to face up to the changing of the guard, and Equestria would enter a new age.
Now I just needed to wait and see what it held.
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Well, here we are at the end with pretty much everything major wrapped up. Big Mac has married, the villians been locked away for good, and Blade Star has jad a talking to that says his own relationship with Applejack might go further. But even if they've gotten their happy ending though it still feels a little lacking to me. Mostly because I don't want to see the story do a timeskip without ever resolving Lizzie being transformed. If they never stand up for her and fix her then they've effectively forsaken her long ago.