Mothering, Someday

by Impossible Numbers

A Mail Mare's Duty

The sun had dropped well on its way to the horizon when Velvet finally opened the front door of Derpy’s cottage and stepped out of someone else’s life. It was a shock to think the life was her own.

Adding a bit of seasoning to her surprise, she noticed the late hour with barely a twinge of guilt. Yet it was the sort of twinge which, in a few minutes, would grow to overwhelm her entire world.

That seemed to be motherhood in a nutshell, she thought. A lot of homegrown guilt, a lot of grapes pressed for time, and somehow, you’re supposed to make the wine of life out of it.

Well, she’d broken some rules. She’d asserted herself against time itself… thus making herself defiantly late. Best to wrap things up, she felt.

Saddlebag bobbing slightly, she turned to face the doorway, one last time.

Despite the silent and polite scrum for the tiny door, Derpy managed to be the clear leader of the herd. For someone with a face as confused as hers, there was no doubt where she belonged.

“She won’t mind you being late, will she?” said Derpy.

“I’ll… see if I can smooth things over with her,” said Velvet. This close to the cottage, she didn’t want for confidence.

Neither did she seem in a hurry to leave. Perhaps turning around had been a bad idea. It would be like stepping away from a campfire into a starless night.

Would Twilight be mad? Was it a serious crime, making a princess wait? Celestia had never lectured anyone for it, as far as she was aware, but other princesses might not look the other way so indulgently.

She glanced to the crystal castle, a heavy reminder even at this distance. If it had collapsed, she’d have felt the shockwaves back in Canterlot.

Just march up and face it. One chance. Seize the moment. Pretend you always wanted it like this…

Then the spark of defiance died down. She didn’t move away from the cottage. She knew that was warm, and the foundations were stronger than she’d hoped for.

It was Amethyst who broke the silence. “Good luck,” she said.

Mockingly? Civilly? Hard to tell, with Amethyst. She’d adopted the neutral face of a cat who hadn’t decided if she’d liked your lap or not, and was still game for a scratch behind the ears or at least a free fish if one was forthcoming.

“Puh!” spat Dinky. “She doesn’t need luck! She’s Tw– mmfh mmfh-mfh MMMF!”

“Oops, I appear to have accidentally gagged you. What on earth came over me?”

Dinky threw her sister’s hoof off and stuck a tongue out at her, then immediately went from devil to angel for Velvet’s sake.

“Anyone who doesn’t love you,” she said sweetly, “doesn’t deserve to have you.”

“I assume that’s Dinky-speak for ‘Will you be my mommy too?’” said Golden Harvest.

No halo could have outshone Dinky’s grin.

Before her, Derpy’s face had to gag itself. Her shoulders shook under the resulting pressure.

It was easier to hug Dinky first. Apart from the fact Dinky threw herself off the threshold to get into it, over the past hour or so, she’d pressed so close to Velvet’s side that Velvet expected to see a Dinky-shaped imprint in her ribcage.

What a picture they looked, though. One pegasus, a filly, a grown unicorn, and an earth pony. So inclusive that Velvet felt she’d made a hundred mistakes in their full view and still felt closer than mere blood or title to each and every one of them. Clover the Clever’s ghost might have hovered over the cottage, glowing with pride.

And now she had to leave that?

Her own shoulders shook.

Derpy got to her first and helped wiped the worst of the tears off her cheek.

“Please don’t cry,” she said gently, and something swam hypocritically in her own eyes. “I’m sure we’ll see each other again.”

Velvet furiously wiped her own, but didn’t bat Derpy off either. “Please, forgive me. I’m just being stupid…”

“What’s stupid about crying?” said Golden Harvest. “Perfectly understandable, to me.”

“You’re not crying,” pointed out Amethyst.

“We farmers make our own arrangements. You were saying, Pot Calling The Kettle Black?”

Amethyst tried a nonchalant attempt at a shrug. A little too much chalance spilled over her face.

Ignoring the sniggers from Dinky, Derpy backed off from mothering Velvet’s face and put on a jolly good smile. “Well.”

“Well,” agreed Velvet.

“I’m glad you enjoyed yourself.”

“Thank you for…” Velvet had to stop and pick one from the list. “Thank you,” was what she went with.

“I hope everything goes well for you and Twilight,” said Derpy.

“I’ll do my best. Nothing more anyone can ask of me, is –”

Velvet went from one universe to another in a spark of brain cells. All four ponies and the cottage stayed exactly the same and instantly became a radically different group of strangers, both at the same time.

Then the shock passed.

“How did you know!?” she almost shrieked.

Derpy’s beaming smile took a moment to get lost. Then, patient as a bubble heading for the sun, it caught the light and grew bigger.

“Oh, I’ve known for a while,” she said.

“What?”

“Known what?” said Golden Harvest, the only one who hadn’t winced when the Twilight name dropped out of Derpy’s mouth.

“You… But I never…” Velvet spluttered.

“It’s OK, it’s OK!” said Derpy, waving her down – forelimbs, wings, the works. “I won’t tell anyone if you don’t want me to.”

“Tell anyone what?” said Golden Harvest.

Velvet sought refuge in Derpy’s eyes. Then realized she was being upset at Derpy.

Defeated, she sighed her surrender. “All right. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

Derpy went back to being lost again.

“But how did you figure it out?” said Velvet.

“Oh, I figured it out early on. I noticed all the little clues and things.” And Derpy sat down and counted off the feathers of her wing whilst dredging her thoughts from the sky. “One was when you did the magic trick with the letters, because I saw Twilight do that with library books once. And then there was all the times you started saying ‘Twi–’ but stopped just in time. I always notice when Ammy and Dinky try hiding something like that. I’ve had lots of practice.”

“That’s more Dinky than me,” Amethyst said hastily. Dinky shushed her.

“What are we talking about, sorry?” whined Golden Harvest.

“And then all those times you talked about your daughter, like how she was so busy and good with magic and stuff. And then you didn’t want to talk about the castle, or tell me what her name was, and I thought: maybe it’s because her girl’s a princess she’s all flustery. I know I’d find it really weird to call Ammy Princess Ammy.”

“Oh, gee, thank you very much,” muttered Amethyst.

“Or Princess Dinky,” insisted Dinky.

“Or Princess Dinky.” Derpy ruffled her little scruff mane happily.

“Well, why didn’t you say anything?” said Velvet.

“Hold on,” pleaded Golden Harvest, “are you saying Velvet is a princess?”

“Carr– Golden Harvest, it’s OK,” said Derpy, patting her kindly on the leg. “I’ll explain later.” To Velvet, she looked blank. “Why would I say anything? You obviously didn’t want me to.”

Velvet realized Derpy was actually smarter than her daughters. She’d patiently come to the same conclusion they had, and had gone further and figured out there was no need to admit it.

“But, you mean…” Velvet had too much to struggle with already: word choices weren’t making things any easier. “You mean the whole time, you weren’t treating me like… me… like I wasn’t…?”

Derpy frowned in puzzlement. “Of course I was treating you like you. I thought that was what you wanted me to do. Why would you pretend if you didn’t?”

“And you just went along with that? No one else would’ve!”

Then it all became clear. It became clear when the look Derpy gave her next travelled thousands of fathoms and untold generations to funnel through a tiny square of eyes, wrinkled muzzle, and carefully shrunk smile, and yet was still – Derpy being Derpy – as soft and cushioning as foam.

“I know what it’s like to want to be someone else for a while,” she admitted.

“Even if my someone else is, in fact, me?”

“I don’t get it,” said Dinky.

“I think I get it,” said Amethyst, shrugging.

“Get what!?” wailed Golden Harvest. “Will someone please just explain to me what we’re talking about!?”

“Later, later,” Derpy assured her. “I promise.”

Rolling her eyes as the only sane mare in the circus, Amethyst leaned across and whispered in Golden Harvest’s ear. The effect was a clang of an anvil on a random head.

It took a while after the whispering for the clang to die away.

And since Amethyst was no fool, she stopped Golden Harvest from collapsing onto her knees in what Velvet suddenly recognized was a royal bow.

“What Derpy was saying,” hissed Amethyst at the astonished earth mare, “is that we should respect the right of someone to be who they want to be. Even if they are royalty.” Amethyst briefly aimed an anti-monarchist scowl at Velvet.

Velvet regarded her in turn with calm respect. One day, she thought, I’m going to learn your story, Ammy.

And then she was supposed to say goodbye.

The word refused.

Derpy started to curl in on herself again. “I, uh…”

Oh, to Tartarus with this, Velvet thought. She leaped into action.

“We should meet up again,” she said firmly. “I’d love to. This is too wonderful to stop here. Amethyst, could I have some paper and a pen, please?”

Due credit to Amethyst: she didn’t stop to look puzzled or get offended. She just dematerialized like the perfect Canterlot servant, and rematerialized with the exact specifications.

“Right.” Velvet accepted one and wrote through sheer angry momentum. “This is my address. If I can have yours, Derpy?”

“Have my…?”

Whilst Derpy slowly figured it out, Amethyst took the liberty of writing for her. Mares exchanged papers. A flawless transaction.

“Excellent.” Velvet examined the sheet and slipped it into her saddlebag. “That all seems perfectly in order. Thank you, Ammy – Amethyst.”

Amethyst stiffened, gripping the slip-up, then shrugged and let it go.

Velvet stopped herself from feeling vindicated just in time. Something told her Amethyst wasn’t that easy to win over. I wonder, thought Velvet, what she’d have done if I hadn’t corrected the name…

“How’s a week today sound?” she said.

Whilst Derpy plucked the written address and stared at it, Amethyst consulted the calendar in her head.

“I’d have to take some leave from work,” she said. “Unless you can spare the weekend following?”

“Shouldn’t be a problem. I’m not expecting to see my schoolfriends again until the day after, but I’m sure Night Light can organize for both.”

Finally, Derpy got there. One breath, and the newly blown bubble became free in her vast, generous expanses of mind to catch the sunlight, or, as it rose higher, to mirror the delicate twinkle of stars.

“You mean –?” she began.

Velvet winked. “Mail me, mail mare!”

She’d expected the tackling hug, but it still knocked her back a few paces. If Derpy squeezed any harder, they’d fuse together, and Velvet didn’t fancy explaining that to her husband. A few giggles bubbled to the surface.

A hug from Derpy also liked to take its time.

When she was released, Velvet couldn’t have been warmer wrapped in three towels after a dip.

Then Dinky leaped into her chest. She’d grow up as tight a hugger as her mother.

Amethyst… offered a hoof. Velvet graciously accepted it. End of meeting.

Poor Golden Harvest still looked like she was struggling to catch up at the back of her mind, but when it came her turn, she did a good job of not holding back either. Velvet felt a few ribs snap out of place. Vanhoover farmers had at least taught her to breathe in and hold her cushioning breath until the strong limbs stopped trying to pulp her.

To a chorus of “Goodbye!” “Bye!” “See you soon!” and “Love you!” – that last one from Dinky – Velvet had to force herself to stride on and not look back in case she started welling up again.

She cracked a few yards away. The last she saw was Derpy smiling, serene and content in the middle of the waves.

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Comments

[Malandy]

“I know what it’s like to want to be someone else for a while,” she admitted.

“Even if my someone else is, in fact, me?”

Really helps with that "I'm acting like myself" bit from the previous chapter!