Test Subject

by 1023nelly

Transported to Equestria

Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! Beep! *CRASH* “Damn!” I got off the floor, where I had fallen after trying to reach my alarm clock, and searched frantically through my closet. “School picture day. I HAD to sleep in on SCHOOL PICTURE DAY!”

I threw up my hands in disgust at myself. God, today of all days, I had to hit the snooze button. Well, to be fair, I DID stay up all night watching My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic on my iPod. I’ve had some close calls doing that. For instance, my dad once came in to close my window, and I barely managed to hide the glow in time. But that’s beside the point. The point is that today was school picture day, and I had completely forgotten to prepare an outfit the previous night.

My alarm clock was still beeping, and in frustration I added a couple of ‘beeps’ myself. Finally I spotted it. “Aha!” There lying on the floor of my closet was a multicolored thigh-length tunic, right next to a pair of jeans that I had overlooked before. I snatched up the outfit, pulling off my pajamas and putting on the clothes, along with (of course) some, ah, undergarments. I tried to open my door, but it was locked.

“Wait…what?” I pulled at the knob and pounded my fist against the wooden portal. Suddenly, the whole wall retracted into the ceiling, revealing a glass window looking into a room. That room was full of……No. Nooo way. That’s not possible, I said to myself.

That room was full of ponies. Ponies of all colors and sizes. There were unicorns, pegasi, and...what were they called? Oh yeah, earth ponies. Right now, almost all the ponies were recoiling in horror, except for one……Princess Celestia.

“Princess! You have to save me! I’ve been trapped in here, and I need your help! ”

“How interesting,” she mused. “It seems to think that I have authority over things such as ‘helping’…” She turned to a familiar-looking purple unicorn, which looked up with a start. “Twilight Sparkle!”

“Y-yes, Your Majesty.” Twilight Sparkle bowed her head, then looked at a piece of parchment she held in her magical grip and began rattling off facts about me. “This subject is most interesting. Its brain patterns and speech centers are extremely similar to ours, but its body is very different. For example, it walks on its hind legs all the time and uses its front legs to do various things, many of which require the assistance of ‘fingers.’” Twilight looked up and glanced at me—almost apologetically.

“What are these ‘fingers’ you speak of?” Celestia looked my way. “Show me.”

Feeling both afraid and annoyed at the alicorn, I challenged her. “Why should I?”

The princess’s eyes narrowed. Her horn glowed with magic, and I heard a small explosion. I turned to see my alarm clock blown to ashes. Well, that pretty much screws resisting, I thought. Trembling slightly, I held up my fingers.

All of the ponies gasped and began scribbling furiously, the unicorns using their magic, the rest using their mouths to hold their quills. For effect, I wiggled my fingers around and picked things up. Over the next fifteen minutes, I did things with my hands that I never thought of doing before. I made a peace sign, the Vulcan greeting, the Spiderman web-shooting hand pose, and crossed my fingers. None of these took any effort, but they were well-received. The pony scientists (yes, by now I knew they were scientists) whooped and stamped their front hooves on the ground, making a clapping noise. I hadn’t impressed anyone this much in…well, ever. Even Princess Celestia seemed interested. Finally she stomped her hoof, and all was silent.

“This specimen is very informative,” she said. Was it just me, or was there a note of approval in her voice? “For the time being, put it with the others.”

“Yes, of course,” replied Twilight.

My grin faded. I was still an ‘it.’ Oh well, since I was being put with the others, I’d better change into something more approp—Wait a minute.

“Hold on,” I interrupted. “How long have I been here? Did—did you see me change clothes?”

“It’s asking a question,” whispered the ponies. “What should we do?”

Twilight cleared her throat. “Answer it, of course.” She turned to me. “To answer your first question: since midnight. We had an exact copy of your room already prepared, so all we had to do was find a spell to bring you through the dimensional curtain that separates our worlds and conduct experiments.”

I carefully kept my face expressionless as both confusion and understanding rocketed through my brain. “And my second question?”

“Well, um, that answer is yes. Sorry about that,” Twilight said.

Well, fuck. Once ponies saw you naked, there's nothing you can do to retrieve your pride.

“Twilight!”

Twilight looked up with a start. “Yes, Your Majesty?”

“We must go now. As I said, put it with the others. However,” said Celestia with a gleam in her eye, “have it prepared for treatment in half an hour.”

Twilight’s eyes widened. “T-treatment? But Your Majesty, I thought you said it was informative!”

“Oh yes, I did say that, didn’t I? Well, then.” Suddenly, a hair from my head was yanked out by magic.

“Ow!” I rubbed my head. “What the hell was that about?”

The hair was dropped into a small tube which protruded from the base of the window. Moments later, the hair appeared inside the observation room, as I have suddenly decided to call it. Celestia lifted it up and nodded. “This will do. You may all be dismissed. Twilight,” she called. “I revoke part of my last command. Prepare it for treatment immediately!” Celestia walked out of the observation room, followed by the scientists.

Twilight gulped. She pressed a button with her hoof, and my room folded up and disappeared. The room I was in was made out of what appeared to be steel. There was a door some feet away.

Every pony in the observation room had filed out. Twilight entered the steel chamber I was in and beckoned for me to follow her.

“Come with me. I'm afraid we have some work to do.”

Comments

[1023nelly]

Hey everypony, so this is my first fanfic...PLEASE give me some feedback, and I'll get to it right away. Grammar mistakes, more character development, or anything else--I'll get right to it. Yeah, it's another human-in-Equestria story. I hope this is interesting. I yearn for your mustaches

[1023nelly]

Honestly, people. If you don't like my story, please leave a comment explaining why. I feel bad that my writing was not as good as it should be. So, really. I can do whatever you want me to do to this story. I hope that I get some feedback. I will even take out the swears. Just tell me what's wrong.

[dricmeistr]

1138457 No clue why people don't like this.