To Be A Wonderbolt

by Hawker Hurricane

Chapter - 2 - Onwards and Upwards?

I waited in line at Hay King, fully aware of the disgusted looks I was getting from other ponies. Most commenting on my unkempt appearance, some on my body odour, some on my lack of a cutie mark. I ignored them. I'm not interested in whatever small minded bullshit views they have. Soon enough it was my turn to be served and I approached the counter, the mare on duty visibly scrunching her face in disgust.

"Good evening...sir," she said, forcing the last word out, "What can I get for you tonight?"

"XL Hay burger, large fries and a lemonade, please."

"That will be 10 bits, can you afford that?"

"Yes. Whatever made you think I can't?"

The mare nervously looked around, "Oh..well...nothing..."

She took my money and sent the order to begin prepping my burger. As I was waiting, I hear hoof steps behind me.

Not waiting in the queue behind me, but behind me behind me.

I decided to pretend I hadn't noticed them.

"Hey!"

I still ignored them.

"Hey!"

Still ignoring them,

"HEY!"

Can't they taken a hint?

"BLANK FLANK!"

Still ignoring them.

Until I felt myself being hit from behind and sent head first into the counter.

"What the fuck's your problem?" I snarled, turning around to them, nursing my sore head.

Three delinquents with more wings than brain cells, encircled me.

"Don't talk to us like that, blank flank," their 'leader' said, jabbing me with a hoof.

"Oooh, blank flank, I'm so offended."

"You should be," he replied, clearly not understanding sarcasm.

"I think we should teach this blank flank a lesson," one of his equally stupid friends suggested, "Maybe he'll get his cutie mark in being beaten up."

Before I could react, the three pounced.

I don't know how long we were scuffling, but the sound of a loud whistle caught our attention.

"What's going on here?"

Shit. Pony cops.

"This blank flank bum attacked us!" the leader of the idiots said.

Before I could even get a word in, the police mare spoke.

"Why are you causing issues?"

"I didn't start-"

"Your burger's ready," the Hay Burger mare said, "Grab it and get out!"

I stared at her in disbelief. How could she-

"Didn't you hear?!" the police mare said, "Grab your burger and get out before I toss your blank flank flank into the slammer!"

Wow. So ponies can be prejudiced too. Lovely.

I quickly grabbed my burger and began to walk out. The Hay Burger mare called out before I closed he door.

"Don't bother coming back, you're banned."

I said nothing and just left. No doubt those idiots just had their day made by some stupid cop.

I found an empty bench at the waterfront soon afterwards and ate my meal.

Fairly good too, considering.

After finishing it, I checked the bit bag Spitfire threw at me.

Still quite a bit. I suppose I could find a budget hotel to stay at. Even if it's just one night, at least I could get a wash and sleep in a warm bed.

I decided to go ahead with it and soon enough, found a budget hotel in the downtown area and rented myself a room for the night. Twenty bits which included breakfast. Thankfully, the staff were more professional and friendly than at Hay Burger. Apparently they get quite a few down-on-their-luck ponies stop for the night, which was why they gave me a cheap rate.

They even have their own spa where they would cut manes and tails at no extra charge, amongst other spa things.

According to the receptionist, the hotel chain owner was once homeless himself, so he knows all too well how it feels.

Anyway, I had put what little I had in my hotel room and decided straight away to have a bath.

---

One hour later, bath over, I was now walking the streets of Vanhoover, feeling a lot cleaner than before. Even though I was still getting stairs from ponies about my lack of cutie mark. Still, they never said anything to me.

As I walked the streets, browsing the windows as I passed, I came upon store with a familiar looking logo.

An official Wonderbolt store that was packed to the rafters.

Understandable given they were performing just hours ago.

I went into the store and began to browse. Keychains, mugs, glasses, flasks, coasters, notebooks, plushies all filled the shelves. Noting the prices, I realised I had enough to grab a few things, or at least some pens and a notebook. Grabbing a basket, I put on some pens and a notebook with the Wonderbolt logo on the front in the basket, along with a thermal flask, useful for having a spare hot drink for a few hours.

Browsing more, I couldn't help but hear a filly make a comment.

"Mummy, that stallion doesn't have a cutie mark."

I could feel the eyes of many ponies staring at me and my flank.

"Sugar Rush, it's rude to point."

"But he doesn't."

"That doesn't mean he's any less of a pony, sweetie."

Good to know there's parents with common sense and decency here.

Nothing more was said, but I could still feel ponies staring at me as I continued to browse. As I was looking at some fleeces and throw blankets, the stallion I was stood next to glanced a few looks back at my flank.

Until he realised I caught him doing it and he scurried away, muttering apologies.

I ignored it, quite used to it by now, and looked the fleeces. They were the same blue with golden yellow lightning bolt down the front centre, with a hoodie and space for the ears and obviously, holes for wings. Realising it would help keep me warm on a night, I grabbed on and a matching throw blanket, as well as a pair of goggles and a sleeping bag. They may have been pricey given they were Wonderbolt branded memorabilia, but I could afford them and they'd come in useful when I'm back sleeping on the streets.

I reached the till and put my items on the counter.

"That's quite a bit you have there," the cashier said, taking my items and basket, "You must be a big fan."

"Well-"

Not exactly.

"What pegasus isn't?"

"True, true," she replied, scanning the items through.

After a few seconds of scanning and putting everything in to a bag, she gave me the bad news.

"That will be 160 bits please, would you like wear your fleece now?"

I hoofed over the bits, "Sure would."

I was hoofed the fleece, minus the tags, and put it on.

It felt damn snuggly, comfy and warm.

"Here's your change sir."

"Thank you," I replied, tasking the change and the bag.

"Have a nice evening sir."

"Thank you, I will."

I left the store, feeling better than I had in quite a while.

Did I say the fleece felt awesome and warm?

And snuggly?

I decided to head to a local pub for a drink, not having had a any booze for far too long. Knowing where a good watering hole was located, I took to the air and flew at a steady pace, keeping a firm hold of my shopping. Gazing down at the city below, I could see ponies going about their business, the streets illuminated and a fresh breeze gently blowing in my face.

Soon enough, I landed in front of the pub in the downtown district. The Maple Leaf, hugely popular and lively music nights.

Which just happened to be tonight.

I walked in and as expected, was packed.

Even more so due to the presence of a certain stunt team.

I wonder how Spitfire will react when...if she sees what I've bought.

I walked in and sat myself down on one of the bar stools where I was quickly served by the barman.

"What'll you have tonight?"

"Pint of smooth ale please."

"Sure thing, that'll be four bits please."

I hoofed over four bits and was soon given my drink. Hearing a sudden increase in the noise, I turn towards the direction it's coming from and see where the Wonderbolts have made themselves at home.

The brilliant thing about pony hearing? It's far superior to human hearing and it allowed me to pick up on what one particular member was saying about me.

I'll give you three guesses who and the second two don't count.

"He's an idiot!"

Ponies laughed.

"He doesn't know his flank from his wings."

Cue more laughter.

"He even went to the princesses for help but they told him to buck off. He's still the butt of jokes in Ponyville."

How mature. Make jokes about me behind my back.

Do I go over and introduce myself?

Or just try and stay out of the way?

"No wonder he's a blank flank," one of the patrons yelled, prompting more laughter from other drinkers.

"Yeah, could you imagine him trying to join the Wonderbolts?" Rainbow continued, "He can't even fly ten hooves without crashing."

I've improved drastically in the previous few months. It's astonishing what one can achieve when they don't have someone constantly berating them for every little mistake.

"The closest he'll ever get to joining the Wonderbolts is attending a show. But even that might be pushing it."

I think I'll hold back actually. Not let on I've heard them, or her rather, talk about me.

I saw some ponies walk up on stage, one of whom I recognised from Ponyville.

Lyra.

She was the worst when it came to insults. Worse than Twilight and Rainbow put together several times over. She, in front of the whole of Ponyville, denounced my claims as delusional and threatened to have me sectioned under the Mental Health Act. As a qualified psychiatrist (who held a PhD), she had the authority to do that under Equestrian law.

I hated her.

I still do.

"Hey ho everypony!" she said, talking in to the mike, "How is everypony tonight? You having a good time?"

The crowd cheered and Lyra told those who didn't know, and those who already did, that she and her band were amateur singers who enjoyed touring pubs and singing to the patrons, and then afterwards, have volunteers have a go themselves.

She and her band played a few popular songs by Equestrian artists. They were reasonably good, both the songs and Lyra's singing ability, but they weren't Queen. Or Metaliica. Or Kenny Rodgers.

But still good.

Speaking of Kenny Rodgers...

After about ninety minutes of songs, and more drinks, it was time for the patrons to have their turn.

A few ponies went.

They were all shit.

As was the direction my night was about to go.

"i don't believe it."

There was an eerie silence.

"It's him."

I could feel the eyes of many ponies looking at me.

"Hawker Hurricane."

I turned around to face Lyra, noting the shit eating smirk on her face. I glanced over to where the Wonderbolts were sitting and just caught a glimpse of Rainbow looking like Christmas had come early.

"What brings you here, Mr Human?"

The same patrons from before burst into laughter again, as did the Wonderbolts, save for Spitfire who was a little more restrained.

"I just thought I'd stop in for a drink. Music nights in pubs are popular where I'm from."

"You mean your world?" she asked mockingly, "A world inhabited by hairless apes?"

The other patrons also began to laugh.

Not at Lyra's joke.

But at me.

I was almost tempted to leave, but if I did they would have never let me forget.

"I thought I'd volunteer to sing a song. But I don't think your musicians know the score."

"You?" she snorted, "Fine. If you want to humiliate yourself further, then by all means. Come on up. And don't worry about them not knowing what to play, they just do."

I walked up to the stage, taking my things with me and placing them next to the mike. I glanced over to the Wonderbolts, particularly Spitfire, who very briefly looked surprised at me. I'm guessing it was what I was wearing and the blue Wonderbolt branded bag. But hey, I bought practical things that would be useful to me. That's fair.

"The song I'm going to sing-"

"From your world."

I scowled very briefly at Lyra, "Is called The Gambler."

"So you're a gambler as well as delusional. I think we may need to have sessions."

"Give it a rest, Heartstrings."

"Come on now, Hawky" she replied, giving me a mocking jab with her elbow, "I'm only messing with you."

Sure you are.

Lyra nodded her head to her musicians and they started playing. And would you believe it.

They did indeed play the right music.

How?

I'll never get drunk enough to find out.

As soon as I finished, the patrons, the very same ones who joined in mocking me before, were now cheering me. I glanced over the crowd when I heard Lyra approach from the side.

"Not bad, Mr Human."

I grabbed my things and began to head back to my seat when someone in the crowd called out.

"Do you have another song?"

The follow up cheering implied the crowd wanted one. I looked back to Lyra and the band who motioned me back up. I supposed I could. It's better than being mocked and ridiculed. And playing songs these ponies have never heard of might help convince them I'm telling the truth.

Unless that other human world has the same songs.

Then I'm screwed.

I walked back up on stage and set my things down again.

I knew what I wanted to sing this time.

Once more, as I finished the crowd cheered. Except Rainbow. Anyone could tell from a country road mile away that her clapping was purely for show.

I grabbed my gear and got off of the stage and headed back to my seat, hearing Lyra in the background say they were having a short bathroom break. I ordered another pint and a pack of dry roasted peanuts when I heard hoofsteps from behind.

"Hey there."

"Hey Spitfire."

She took a seat next to me, "You're a good singer."

"Thanks," I replied, taking a sip of ale.

"I see you bought yourself a few things."

"Yeah. The fleece, a blanket, sleeping bag...where I'm living at the moment doesn't exactly have heating installed."

"I told you you'd need it."

"Yeah, you did."

"You sound angry."

"Pissed off. About many things."

"Want to talk about it?"

I shook my head, "There's no point when no one believes you."

"Well...you gotta to admit that a story as far-fetched as yours is hard to believe. Especially when you have nothing to prove it."

"Those songs were from my world."

"Maybe, but you can't prove it. It's more believable to say you wrote them."

"The lack of a magic arse tattoo on my flank implies music isn't my speciality."

Spitfire burst into laughter, eliciting a few stares.

"Magic arse tattoo? That's brilliant! I'm using that!"

"Be my guest."

"I will. Well, I better get back to my team, see you around Hawker."

Spitfire left and rejoined her team, leaving me alone with my drink.

---

The music night went on close to midnight before we all had to leave. The Wonderbolts left first, quickly followed by the rest of us. I headed back to my hotel room and sank into my bed, almost immediately falling asleep.

I awoke around eight o'clock and headed down to the hotel restaurant for breakfast, wearing my new fleece again, and made a beeline for the tea making facilities. Making myself a cup of tea and having a large bowel of Equestria's version of Shredded Wheat, I read one of the newspapers that had been left on my table. The Equestrian Times. It was your typical broadsheet newspaper. The sort of paper more educated people would read.

I was reading the paper and minding my own business when I felt myself violently shoved forward, going nose first into my cereal.

I recognised the laughing immediately.

"Enjoying your breakfast? Blank flank?!"

I noticed other guests beginning to look over.

"Answer me, blank flank," the same idiot said, shoving me in the back again.

They did it again a few more times until I felt something trickle down my head and onto my new fleece. I turned around and saw they had squeezed a bottle of maple syrup.

Urge to kill rising.

"What's the matter?" the leader mocked, "Is the blank flank gonna cry?"

Before I could plant my hoof hard in the idiot's face, a loud voice caught our attention.

"Is there a problem here?!"

The voice, unbelievably recognisable, came from behind the idiot. Said idiot turned around and began cowering in fear at the sight of Spitfire.

"N-n-n-n-no."

"Oh? Then why did I see you repeatedly assault this stallion and then damage his property?"

"Errrrr..."

A rather eloquent reply for an idiot.

Spitfire grabbed the idiot by the scruff of the neck and pulled him close to her, "You and your idiot friends have five seconds to get lost before I get angry."

The idiots quickly disappeared, leaving me in my ruined fleece with a sprinkling of humiliation.

"You OK there, Hawker?"

"I'm fine."

"Liar."

"What is all the commotion?"

Turning around, we saw the hotel manager approach. Spitfire kindly explained the situation, saving me the trouble. The manager apologised profusely and as a goodwill gesture, gave me my stay for free.

I still have a ruined fleece though.

Spitfire escorted me back to my room, in case those idiots return, and followed me in.

"Well," I said, "Here was my room for the night."

"Looks nice. We were staying on a higher floor, larger room."

"Staying in budget hotels?"

"Keeps the costs down. Besides, it has a good pub nearby."

I laughed, "Yeah, last night was...well it ended better than it started."

"Yeah," Spitfire replied, her face suddenly souring, "I'm sorry for what was said last night. In the alleyway."

"Don't be. I've heard it all before."

"That doesn't excuse what we said. What I said."

"Is that why you gave me those bits?"

"Partly."

"Partly?"

"You looked like you needed a break. So I gave you one."

"Thanks," I sighed, "I guess. Where do I go from here though? Without a magic arse tattoo no one will hire me and with no formal Equestrian qualifications it's damn near impossible even if I do get a magic tattoo."

Spitfire observed me for several seconds. Her expression damn near impossible to read.

"I tell you what," she said, picking up my ruined fleece, "You go and get your mane and tail sorted out at the hotel's spa, and I'll be waiting for you here."

"Waiting? What for?"

"You'll have to find out. Now, get your flank to that spa, I'll look after your things."

Reluctantly, I did as she asked.

I can only wonder what she's up to.

Comments

[JakJak75]

Stand back, there's a hurricane coming through.

[DoctorWhoooves]

Shows promise. I'll wait till it gets a little longer, but i'm excited!

[Wolfking black]

Can’t wait for more, I have a hope he gets a break soon