7: House Call
For the record, Robert wasn’t opposed to cotton candy horse land. It was just… different. It was like walking into some little girl’s cartoon, except it was real and breathing and very very alive. And threatened by monsters who happened to also be a horrifying reality.
It was undeniably weird, to say the least. Like, when Robert thought of cotton candy-colored prancing ponies, he thought of them singing songs in the meadows and braiding their manes and…. And… well, he was sure they did other things as well, maybe lounged around in giant castles or something. Pink ones. Bright pink ones.
And yet here he was, a Power Ranger who also happened to be standing guard outside a sun-topped home with inside it, a mare under house arrest. What she exactly did, he could only guess. Maybe she stole one too many cookies from the cookie jar, for all he knew.
Whatever the case, here he was standing for a good few hours in the hot dry summer sun, in gold plated armor, and sweating in it. It’d still be an hour before the shift change, and he could retire for the day. From the police to the military.
He sighed to himself. He had to wonder what Charlie was doing right now. Probably arresting some alien criminal somewhere, or maybe teaming up with the latest Captain Chaku in the G5 Galaxy to bring an entire gang to justice. Meanwhile, he was sweltering in ponyland and side jobbing as a Power Ranger. He chuckled, well Charlie it seemed was right all along. He’d wear the spandex after all. Do the dance, and get a morpher of his own.
“So, what, do you just stand there all day?” a raspy voice asked as this sky blue pegasi walked by, in a sports bra and jogging pants. She waved a hand in front of his face, and Robert had to suppress a groan. He had a cousin who was in the Queen's Guard. They told him about annoying people… well, ponies in this case that liked to do this. “Do you even blink?”
Robert, perhaps wisely, didn’t answer. He never said a word, never indicated anything that would give away how inwardly peeved he actually was by being bothered by this mare.
“I mean, props to you for managing to stand out in this hot sun, but do you even get to have fun with yourself?” the mare went on, practically rambling. “And I do mean have fun with yourself. Also, wow, for a hairless ape, you’re not bad looking. Those muscles…”
Here, she felt his bare arms and Robert really wanted to tell her to ‘buzz off’ as professionally as he could. Granted, that meant for him, it wouldn’t have ended so professionally given it would have involved a certain gesture that probably would have gotten him a reprimand by his superior. It would have certainly made Robert feel better though!
“So, the Power Rangers right?” the mare went on, and Robert flinched hoping she hadn’t noticed. Thankfully, the mare didn’t seem to have. Throwing a few punches at some imaginary foe, she went on: “Like wow, actual superheroes. It’s like they’ve leaped out of the pages of the Power Pony comics! Mhmm, not so sure about the outfits though. They look like they’re wearing leotards.”
Inwardly, Robert had to agree. They were not that flattering at all. Mind you, there were worse costumes out there. Like, eeeeuuuuuggghh, the Ranger Operators looked impossibly silly!
“Rarity? You know Rarity right? Rarity Belle, runs Carousel Boutique where everything is chic and unique?” the mare went on, doing her mane up in this fancy style and putting on a faux-European accent. “I personally think she should say ‘sweet and unique’ but I digress. Just my personal opinion y’know? Annnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyways, she would have words to say about their uniforms!”
Well, hey, it’s not like he got to pick the uniform he wore!
“I don’t think she gets the point, they’re superheroes. They’re supposed to look kinda stupid!”
Well, now that was just rude!
“That’s half the fun, being able to be so badass that your uniforms somehow turn around to being awesome again, right?”
Okay, now when you put it like that, it was a compliment…
“But yeah, yeah! Actual superheroes in my town! God, I wish I could meet one of them, and get their autograph!” the mare babbled.
Robert had to suppress cracking a grin. Oh the irony…
“So what’d you think Sunny-Shim got put under house arrest for?” the mare had to ponder. “Like, did she steal some of the Princess’ precious cake? No, wait, if she’d done that, she wouldn’t even be alive to tell the tale!”
Well, now that this mare brought it up, Robert had been wondering the same thing himself. Not that he was ever rude enough to ask. It was above his pay grade anyways.
“But wow, never knew moving here could cost so much. Like, housing prices are through the roof! I’m trying to get my own cloud house, or cloudominium as we call it back home, but that takes time. You have to get the paperwork filled out for it and oh hell I’m terrible at that kind of thing!” the mare grumbled. “It’s like it was made to drive us all crazy!”
Well, Robert could certainly stand to agree with that.
“Anyways, thanks for listening I guess. Guess I needed someone to talk to, you know? Someone to vent with. I feel soooooo much better. Well, guess I’d better leave you onto your guarding like the guard you are,” the mare continued before flashing him a thumbs up. “Keep on being awesome, alright?”
As she began to walk off, Robert finally let out the sigh he’d been holding. Well, that was the most excruciating 5 and a half minutes of his life. Were all ponies in this town simply just this chatty? Or was it just a thing that mare did? God, she was bloody annoying.
Eventually, the shift change came, and Robert soon deprived himself of his armor and went for a walk. His legs had started to fall asleep just standing there.
He’d heard the whispers of course, and saw the pointing and the stares. He was a stranger in a strange land to them. He was almost like… he hesitated to say a zoo attraction but that’s what it felt like at times. These ponies had never even seen a human before, it was a miracle they weren’t poking and prodding at him.
Did Autumn get the same treatment? She was just different enough to raise a few eyebrows.
...then again, at least she looked a bit like a pony. She had hooves!
“Oh, Bonnie, look!” said an excited voice, and Robert sighed to himself. Yep, here we go. “See, I told you they were real, but did you believe me? Nooooooooooooo… You called me crazy!”
Robert was inclined to agree with ‘Bonnie’. This mare was mental.
“Like, there used to be legends about you, you know. Your kind!” the mare, Lyra said. Robert had heard the name tossed around a few times. Apparently, she and her wife ran one of the local candy stores. “There used to be hundreds of humans in Equestria, and suddenly they up and disappeared. Vamoosed! Flew the coop! It’s a mystery, anthropology!”
“I’m sorry about her,” Bon-Bon said apologetically, pulling her wife away. “She’s not entirely house-trained. Lyra! Be nice, can’t you see you’re freaking him out?”
“I’m right here you know…” Robert deadpanned. Bon-Bon blushed. “No, go on. Talk about me like I’m not here.”
“Again, I’m sorry,” Bon-Bon apologized before taking a whiff of Robert and recoiling. “Faust, you stink!”
She fished something out of her pants pockets. “Here, have a free coupon for the local spa. I was going to use it, but smells like you need it more. Plus, consider it my treat. Apologies for my wife.”
Well, Robert wasn’t one to turn down a free gift… even if he’d never been to the spa a day in his life. But getting out of the street, not to mention a nice bath sounded just right about now…
And so Robert went, and was treated to twin -literally- German-accented ponies quickly ushering him into a nearby aqua-jet tub, telling him to ‘relax and let all his troubles flow away’. At least, that’s what he thought they said. Their accents were so thick it could have been something else.
“Oh dear, it seemed you got here ahead of me,” said another voice, this European accented. “I was hoping I’d be the only one in the tubs today…”
“I’m sorry, Rarity,” said the pink spa twin. “But he just arrived here ahead of you, and well we obviously can’t turn down a customer in need! You understand! It’s just not good business sense!”
“I know, I know dears,” Rarity sighed. ‘I’ll go get changed…”
Soon, she joined him in the opposing aqua jet tub, and let out a long sigh as she sank into its aromatherapy oiled waters. Robert would be the first to admit, she looked strikingly gorgeous. Like a model. ...wait, Rarity. Now he knew why the name sounded familiar!
“Wait, don’t you run Carousel Boutique?” Robert said, turning back to look at her, the waters sloshing beneath him.
“Yes, I do! Pleased to hear you’ve heard of me,” said Rarity. “But I don’t think I’ve actually ever seen you in my store…”
“You haven’t, largely because I haven’t stepped foot in your store. There was this mare I met earlier, rainbow-maned? Not sure if that’s a common thing or not for you ponies, but she was laughing about how you probably wouldn’t like the costumes of a certain group of local superheroes… and oh I probably shouldn’t have said that!” Robert winced.
“Yes, this sounds like Rainbow Dash. If only her brain ran as fast as her mouth!” Rarity agreed. “But she’s quite right! I would have words to say to these Power Rangers -a terrible name, by the way, sounds ridiculously silly- about their uniforms! I dare to say so myself, but it looks like they’re wearing diapers with those uniforms. I suppose it’s a common superhero thing, to wear their underwear on the outside, but let me tell you it does them no favors!”
Robert snorted. If only she’d ever seen Superman’s older costumes! Or, god forbid, the black uniform complete with mullet! That was a true fashion disaster if there ever was one!
“And what is with the posing?” Rarity went on, and Robert had to flat out laugh at this. Yes, what was with all of the posing! “Some of that posing? I’ll have a camp with a side of some extra camp, thank you!”
“And there’s the explosions!” Robert joined in. “It feels like it’d have to be Micheal Bay’s wet dream at times! ...okay, yeah, that’s one reference that’ll fly over your head, but all the explosions seem a bit extreme at times…”
“I’ll forgive the quite crude phrasing because I completely agree! Like, what is with the six-story high fireballs behind them with each ‘morph’?” Rarity asked. “It all feels completely gratuitous!”
“Completely and utterly!” Robert agreed with a small nod and he and Rarity broke down into giggles. “Also, the whole calling the attacks bit? Like, everyone screaming out their attack? We sure they’re not overcompensating for something?”
“...I’m pretty sure we already established that long ago with the gratuitous explosions, dearie,” Rarity drawled. Again, Robert broke down into a fit of giggles.
“Suppose I never introduced myself properly. Robert Willaims,” he said reaching out his hand and Rarity shook it.
“Rarity Belle,” she said leaning over the wall of the tub. Robert struggled, like seriously struggled to avoid eying her rather generous bust barely covered by her towel. “You know something dearie?”
“Yeah?” Robert asked gruffly. “What’s that?”
“I do believe this is the beginning of a rather beautiful friendship!” Rarity proclaimed.
Robert groaned as he returned home, another long day over and accomplished. Shining had been nice enough to set him up with an apartment in the small town, saying he deserved at least to feel like not everything had changed. Well, that much was true. He still had some of the noisiest neighbors in the world!
Like, could they turn their music up any louder? He wasn’t sure his walls had been rocked enough!
Oh well, maybe if he put in some earbuds and turned on some jazz, he’d be able to block out the rampant Death Metal on the other side of the wall. ...it could have been worse he supposed, it could have been like his last set of neighbors who were constantly having sex! He snorted, there was having a happy sex life and then there was that!
Well, it wasn’t all bad, he supposed. Today, he’d made his first actual friend in Miss Rarity Belle. Well, first actual pony friend. He still had Charlie back in NewTech and… well, wow was that it? He was seriously struggling to actually think of anyone besides her. ...was she right? Had he always been that much of a stick in the mud?
Quality over quantity, he supposed!
Shining maybe was his friend. Maybe. He couldn’t honestly say. Half the time he wanted to strangle the bastard.
What was that old wisdom? Two people couldn’t get along if they were too alike? Maybe that was his and Shining’s problem…
And oh bloody hell, even with the sounds of Miles Davis in his ears, he couldn’t block out the Death Metal from the other side of the walls. Oh well, time to do the whole ‘knock on the door and complain one’s head off’ bit. Maybe flash his badge, that usually worked like a charm!
So, Robert did exactly this, heading over to the door next to his room and very politely knocked on the door. And by politely, I mean he rapped on it loud enough to wake the dead.
“Okay, really dude?” Rainbow Dash asked angrily as she popped her head out of her room, only half-dressed in a shirt and panties. She crossed her arms, emphasizing her rather small bust. “I was actually enjoying myself! Boy, you really do take this whole ‘no fun’ thing seriously!”
“Yeah, sorry, I couldn’t hear you over being half deaf! Like, seriously mate?” Robert asked angrily.
“Oh, so you want to mate do you?” Rainbow Dash said poking him in the chest. “Well, I’m not mating with you sunshine. You’re a jackass!”
“You’re no saint yourself, woman!” Robert snapped. “I’m probably going to have to see a doctor about my potential loss of hearing! And for another thing? Mate? It doesn't mean I want ‘to mate’, which by the way I certainly wouldn’t want to with you, shortstack.”
“Hey, what’s wrong with my height? I’m not short, I’m fun-sized!” Rainbow retorted but went ignored.
“It’s just British slang for people, ponies, snails, whatever that I happen to know! So ease up on the aggro, eh?” Robert snarked.
“No, how about you?” Rainbow said.
“Oh, real mature,” Robert drawled. “I bagsyed this night to myself, for the record. Just some peace and quiet, didn’t need you ruining it.”
“Oh, so you and your dick, dick?” Rainbow retorted, before giggling at her own dumb pun. Robert promptly slammed the door on her, grumbling something rude under his breath. Well, ruder. Predictably, the death metal started up again soon after, this time even louder than before.
“Oh well, maybe if I make a complaint that should shut her up…” Robert thought to himself, sticking his fingers in his ears in an admittedly admirable effort to block out the noise. “The sooner she gets that bloody cloudominium the better, I sooooo don’t want to have to deal with this every night. Hell, maybe I’ll send her some money to help her along! ...I wonder if it’s too late to go and get myself in a bender.”
Robert honestly liked the idea, plus the farther away he was from that ‘music’ the better.
Unknown to him, he was about to get involved in the Reverse Empire’s latest sinister plot! Gray, from Radiguet’s castle watched via a crystal ball as an old woman went about her business for the night, only pausing to feed her cats.
“Those poor fools don’t even realize what I’ve done to this apartment block,” Gray thought. “I honestly have to thank the Rangers for this one. With the constant megazord fights, the rent’s gone up so badly on a lot of houses, the ponies will take anything! Even my Apartment Beast!”
If he were capable of more emotion, he would have laughed maniacally.
“Now, our Black Ranger living in this apartment was an unexpected bonus, but no matter. His and everyone else’s life energy will fuel Master Radiguet’s latest machine. Soon, he will be able to assume his true form at will!”
Yes, right now, assuming his true form pained Master Radiguet. Soon, that would change. If Gray was a less loyal machine, he would think of using the life energy to power something else, like himself. But his loyalty was only to Lord Radiguet. He was the only thing that mattered.
“So, I assume the only thing I should do now is ‘kick back’ as the organics say with a nice glass of Chianti and watch the show?” Gray pondered, as he watched the wall behind the old mare open up to reveal gnashing teeth and a truly massive tongue. She failed to notice, only realizing as she was dragged into the jaws of death. Blood splattered the wall, before it was soaked into the walls and it was as if it was never there as the room fell silent. Gray smiled. “Yes, I think that’s exactly what I’ll do.”
As for the cat? She never noticed her master had gone missing, and instead continued to meow for food that would never come…
Rainbow Dash was not a happy mare. That jerk really wanted to yell to her about what music she should be listening to? Not cool!
“I’ll just play it even louder, then! That’ll teach him!” Rainbow Dash thought to herself. “Yeah!”
Cranking up the volume, she began headbanging as the screaming guitars began rocking the house. Oh hell yeah, Death to Celestia rocked! This had to be their greatest album yet, Death by A Thousand Tireks had to be their finest hour!
Underneath her, the floor creaked and groaned as she stamped her hooves to the sound of the beat, doing air guitar motions with her fingers. That royal guard didn’t even know what he was missing! He probably listened to country music or something equally lame! Like, classical! No offense to Octavia, but classical really wasn’t her jam. It was waaaaaaayyyyy too boring. Like, the last and for that matter only time she listened to classical music she nearly fell asleep doing it.
So caught up in her rocking out was she, her mane now swaying like mad as her head became a blur, she failed to notice the slimy tendril creeping up from behind. And then she did notice as her shoulder felt all cold and clammy.
“...oh for Celestia’s sake, don’t tell me this house is haunted…” Rainbow grumbled as she turned only to see nothing. “Maybe that’s why I got this place so darn cheap, somepony actually died here! Well, I suppose that’s kind of awesome when you think about it, this place is haunted! Oh yeah! And I’m literally playing loud enough to wake the dead!”
In his chamber, Gray had to laugh. For one of the so-called Elements of Harmony, she wasn’t all that bright was she? This was almost too easy! But he wouldn’t pass up a free gift when offered, because the lifeforce of one of these ‘Elements’ would surely increase Lord Radiguet’s powers a thousandfold!
Apparently, accidentally giving five Rangers the powers to morph really kept him from going back to full strength. He had to rely on ‘agents’ to conquer this dimension now, while if he was at full power, he could have done it with relative ease! Gray wanted to thank Celestia and her foolish mages for awakening the Reverse Empire from their long imprisonment. Harmony, peace, friendship, such abstract concepts. Hardly worth the time to study. Power, now that was something he could learn from!
These ponies were weak and so soft. They were easily conquered and they like all herd animals quickly gave way to fear. He’d admire his foes for finding the strength to transform into Power Rangers, but even they would fall in the end. It was an inevitability. Everyone died in the end, their weak organic bodies failed. They should embrace the power of cybernetics. Robots and cyborgs would be the ones to rule, like him and Lord Radiguet. Organics never understood, which was their chief failing. It was always their chief failing.
Rainbow felt her shoulder grow cold and clammy again, and this time she screamed as she saw tentacles burst out of her wall, and attempt to drag her to her doom.
“Oh no, I’ve seen enough neighponiese hentai to know where this is going!” Rainbow shouted slamming a fist into one of the tendrils, causing it to burst in a shower of blood. “This little pony ain’t going to go down so easily!”
She ripped one of the tendrils from the fleshy mass that was once her wall, and ran out the door. Rainbow’s eyes widened in horror as she saw one of her neighbors try to escape only to be dragged back into his room. A sickening ‘crunch’ followed. Rainbow’s eyes narrowed in rage. “Alright then, if that’s the way you want to play it… Alright apartment, Rainbow Dash is coming at you!”
As she ran, the floor fell out beneath her and it was only by taking to the skies did she avoid being enveloped by a gnashing mass of teeth. Tendrils ripped out of the Hellmouth and tried to drag her down. A scream rushed up from Rainbow’s throat and made it’s escape, only for a sword to slice through the tendrils freeing her from their grasp.
Landing on the other end of the hallway was the black ranger, wings folding up into his arms as he sheathed his sword.
Rainbow wrapped him in a hug, before pulling herself away and blushing. “There’s this royal guard right next to my room, I think he may have been eaten! The human! Goddess, I can’t believe the last word I said to him was calling him a…”
“Don’t worry, I got him out,” Robert said thanking the Morphing Grid that his voice was distorted that just enough. “...Think I saw a movie like this once.”
“Oh yeah?” Rainbow asked looking down the now fleshy hallway, a chandelier now looking suspiciously like a uvula. “How’d it end?”
“Pretty good, all things considered. The house got blown up, sadly I’m not sure I can get a hold of enough dynamite to do the same thing here…” Robert admitted. There was a roar coming from somewhere below, and honestly, neither man nor mare wanted to find out just what it belonged to.
“We’ve got to get out of here!” Rainbow shouted. “You just got to think bigger right? After all, you can use your zord or something to blow this place sky high!”
“Trust me, I was thinking the exact same thing!” Robert agreed as they broke into a run even as the floor fell out from under them exposing more gnashing teeth. They rounded a corner and saw a window coming up fast before they smashed right through it, glass shards cutting into Rainbow’s skin and drawing blood.
Then, what they saw truly terrified them, as the entire apartment block stood up and gained a gaping maw and soulless black orbs for eyes. It swiped at them with one massive arm, before they began to fall faster and faster and then…
A shriek filled the air, and the roar of a jet engine as Robert and Rainbow found themselves in the condor zord’s cockpit.
“So… you think the other Rangers noticed all this yet?” Rainbow joked weakly as the jet went into a climb, shoving her back into her seat.
“...you think they haven’t?” Robert snarked back. “It’s a walking house!”
Then, twin lasers hit the house making it stagger as the very earth shook. From out of the clouds came the swallow zord, Shining at the controls.
“Geez, talk about a house call…” Shining uttered as he rocketed around the monstrous house. Robert forced down a groan at the pun as down came the condor zord firing a missile at the massive apartment block. Fire erupted all over the structure before it charged out of the flames with an ear-splitting roar.
“See, now I just think you pissed it off,” Robert drawled, before firing yet another missile. His jet’s scanners were now reading life signals all over the apartment block. Guess it was so busy trying to eat them it forgot about far easier meals.
“Oh, I hadn’t realized…” Shining deadpanned in returned, using his zord’s wings to slice through steel and concrete, making the monster roar in pain. At this, the Apartment Beast reached out and attempted to grab him with one massive arm, but the swallow zord was far too quick for that.
Flying back up into the star-lit skies, it circled back around, before firing lasers once more at the monster. With a roar, the Apartment Beast reached out, and ripped a house out of the ground before tossing it right at the swallow zord. Shining pressed the trigger and fired a laser right through the house before flying through it.
Robert, meanwhile, drove the condor zord into a spin and flew round and round the Apartment Beast, creating a powerful whirlwind that began to lift it skywards higher and higher. As the monster roared in indignation, Shining flew in before he peppered the monster with laser fire. Finally, Robert broke away and the Apartment Beast dropped to the ground with an earthshaking thud. Cracks and fissures opened up in the ground below, ripping and tearing through the earth.
It was then the Apartment Beast displayed the ability to breath fire, enveloping both black and blue’s zords in flame. They charged out of the inferno, before firing twin missiles at the Apartment Beast making it fall backwards with another earthshaking thud, smashing into a hillside and sending chunks of rock and earth skywards. It was all the two fliers could do but to dodge the earthy chunks and blast them apart.
“Are your battles always like this?” Rainbow said as the jet turned sideways to avoid another massive section of earth.
“Nope, sometimes they’re actually challenging!” Robert laughed before smashing through another chunk of earth. Down below, the Apartment Beast was recovering, and let out an angry howl.
As it attempted to rip both jets out of the air, Robert had once again a snarky remark for every occasion. “...I feel a joke relating to King Kong is appropriate for this occasion.”
“Well, you’re certainly showing your age,” Rainbow remarked dryly. “...Wasn’t that movie really old?”
“Then how do you know about it?” Robert deadpanned in return before he let out a yelp, forcing the jet into a climb as the Apartment Beast nearly ripped him from the air. The condor zord went into a loop-da-loop before returning fire with more lasers. “Shi.. Blue! There’s still ponies trapped inside that beast!”
“...and I’m about to join them,” Shining radioed back as the monster had grabbed his zord and was trying to eat it alive. Shining leaped out of the cockpit, and with a cry of “Swallow Strike!” infused his sword with blue energy and struck.
“You may have outsmarted me, but I outsmarted your outsmarting!”
The Apartment Beast howled in pain as it let Shining free, the Blue Ranger willing his zord to go on autopilot and shoot open a window. Shining then leaped into the new opening, and drew his sidearm venturing into the monster’s disturbingly fleshy interior. If tendrils sprang up to drag him away, he was ready with laser fire. Creating a shield with his magic, he smashed through a wall, gore splattering his shield but he continued making his way through until he found the remaining tenants. Slicing them free, he pressed a button on his morpher before the swallow zord blasted open a new opening. The Apartment Beast howled in pain, even as the rescued ponies descended to the ground on a slide of light rose-colored magic.
Shining leaped back into his zord and once again the battle took to the skies. Condor and swallow sliced through the air with ease as they joined their fellow zords before parts began to shift and twist. Metal slammed together, wings combining into a shield that now rested on the fully-formed megazord’s back.
“Oh, hey Rainbow,” Vapor waved as the now very confused mare found herself in the cockpit alongside the Rangers. Rainbow narrowed her eyes, that voice sounded seriously familiar.
“Time to perform some demolition!” Robert shouted as the megazord marched forwards, frail in hand. Swinging the massive spiked ball above its head, the megazord then wrapped the chains around the apartment beast’s right arm. With a tug, the massive mecha pulled the monster forwards. Then, it pulled out a hammer and down it went atop the Apartment Beast’s head, before the megazord slammed the hammer into its face.
Pulling the frail away, the megazord went at the dimensional beast with hammer and shield. Leaping forwards, down went the hammer as the megazord struck with one final powerful blow. The Apartment Beast lurched forwards and then fell, collapsing in a truly massive explosion.
“Well, that’s the end of…” Robert started before the megazord was forced apart by an explosion. As the other zords went flying away, Robert attempted to guide the condor zord into a graceful crash, ripping up the earth as he slammed into a nearby hillside. What the hell had happened?
He didn’t have to wonder for very long.
Walking up was Gray, an empty bunker-buster missile pod retracting back into his armor.
“Oh, you mad bro?” Robert said, before rolling out of the way to avoid an arc of energy that sliced through the night air. Gray let out a roar of mechanical rage as their blades met.
“You ruined my plan, Black!” Gray snarled, sounding angrier than Robert had ever heard him.
“Oh, well, that’s kinda what I do…” Robert said, clocking him in the face with a fist. He spun away, readying his blade as he went in for a slash at the mechanical general.
“Oh, so you’re approaching me?” Gray asked, raising one arm and firing an energy beam that Robert just slashed through. And then Robert just slashed through him.
As Gray staggered, sparks flying, Robert turned back and smirked under his helmet. “Yeah, so I can come and kick your arse!”
“You can go ahead and try…” Gray said, before making a ‘come hither’ gesture. “Now, as I believe you humans say, can you get over here and ‘bring it’?”
“Oh well, you’re learning…” Robert said as their blades met again and again, sparks flying. Robert leaped forwards, and slashed downwards, only for Gray to meet his blade with his rapier.
Gray then lunged forwards, and tossed his opponent through a brick wall before launching several micro-missiles. Robert looked at his sidearm, and hesitated to draw it. “Never again…”
He probably should have though, given he was sent flying by several explosions before collapsing in a heap at Gray’s feet. “Pathetic…” the robot muttered. “I can’t believe you didn’t put up much of a fight. Oh well, as troublesome as you are, depriving the rangers of their Black will be a PLEASURE!”
“Oh no you don’t!” came a voice before Gray was hit by a flying dive kick, a hoof bucking him in the face. Gray let out a cry of pain, his armor now sporting and showing a rather large dent. “Hey, lay off him!”
Rainbow ran over to the black Ranger and helped him up.
“Rainbow, get out of here!” Robert snapped. “He’s too dangerous for you to face alone!”
“Ha, I laugh in the face of danger! That’s my middle name even!” Rainbow said. “Besides, I’m the Element of Loyalty right, can’t just leave ya hangin’. Plus, you saved my life so I save yours. It’s only fitting, right?”
Rainbow and Robert then dived into the dirt to avoid another beam blast from Gray.
“You… impudent… insolent… little… organics!” Gray steamed as he marched forwards. Rainbow gulped.
“On the other hand, maybe I should leave this to the professionals eh?” Rainbow said as she dived for cover. Gray launched another beam blast, and Robert began holding it back with his sword as he closed in, little step by step. He charged forwards, his sword like a spear before he drove it into Gray’s armor, oil splattering his suit.
Gray roared in rage, and sliced at the black ranger with his rapier, Robert rolling out of the way, before he drew back a gauntlet-adorned fist and punched Gray. Hard. His sword flew out of Gray’s chest, and returned to his grip only for Robert to score another slash.
“Oh, I definitely say I can ‘bring it’,” Robert said, as he blocked a sword slash from Gray. “You though, I’m not so sure about!”
“I am head of Radiguet’s personal guard,” Gray said. “I am his top general!”
“Oh well then, I really fear for the rest of his army then, if you’re considered the best of the best…” Robert deadpanned. “...oh wait, I’ve met the rest of his army. I’m far from impressed.”
Their blades met again and again, sparks flying. Their battle continued into a side street, Gray managing to score a powerful slice across Robert’s chest. Several jabs later, and Robert found himself up against a shop window. Gray punched him through it, glass shards flying. The battle continued inside the diner, confectionaries laying scattered about. Robert grabbed a series of cupcakes and began tossing them at Gray, covering his face in frosting. Robert struck, scoring another energy-infused slash.
Blades met again, Gray flicking his wrist in an attempt to disarm his opponent. But just like before, Robert twisted his blade and his sword ground up against Gray’s rapier, sparks flying. He elbowed the robot in the face, before scoring another strike.
“You’re outmatched,” Robert said. “I”m wise to your tricks by now, and I’m about to send you to the scrapheap!”
Again, blades met in a shower of sparks. “Are you?” Gray questioned. “Because so far, I seem to be holding my own. Credit where it’s due, I never expected you to actually make it this far. Maybe you are worth something after all.”
“That’s the thing isn’t it?” Robert said. “I may not have wanted to be a ranger, but I’ve noticed a trend with you guys. You always underestimate humanity. God forbid I come off as preachy as the Megaforce Rangers, but maybe it’s time you factor in something new. The human factor! We’ve been sending villains like you packing since Angel Grove! You’re just the latest in a long line of would-be conquerors. Let that sink in. What makes you think you’ll do any better?”
“Hmm, something worth considering. I applaud you for your spirit,” Gray admitted. “But even your race’s luck runs out. Earth will fall one day, and I intend to be the one that helps it along!”
He was then blasted out the window by an explosion, confetti filling the room. Standing in the doorway, with a cannon at her feet, was a very tired looking Pinkie Pie. Robert stared. “...what, he was beginning to bum me out! Such a meanie…”
Robert could only laugh. Maybe this town wasn’t so bad after all.
“Well, guess I’m going to have to set you up with somewhere else to live, right?” Shining laughed nervously as he looked at where the gaping hole where the apartment block used to be. Before it, you know, got up and walked away. And then blew up. “...so your apartment turned out to be alive, who’d have thought?”
Robert and Shining shared a laugh.
“...so I guess paying for damages is going to come out of our pocketbooks?” Robert asked.
“Probably,” Shining admitted, before both broke down into laughter again.
“Brings a whole new meaning to the term ‘house demolition’ don’t it?” Robert joked before his face turned sour. “I gotta hand it to Gray, he really caught us all flat-footed didn’t he?”
“Or flat-hoofed as the case may be,” Shining said with a tired look. “We’re still working out who’s missing.”
“Yeah, this is going to be fun,” Robert grumbled. “I remember the first time I had to show up at someone’s house, say that their husband’s never coming home. It never gets any easier.”
“The day it does, I think that’s the day you should hang up your badge,” Shining said and Robert nodded in agreement.
“Still can’t believe you had a fight with Gray,” Shining continued. “Like, you went sword to sword with him.”
“I think that makes all of us who’ve had a battle with him in some capacity,” Robert replied. “I still can’t believe you lasted a whole night against that mechanical menace.”
“Yeah, but he really seems to hate you,” Shining said. “Guess that’s because it’s two of his plots you’ve managed to foil. The one with the Dimensional Bug Mother and now this thing.”
“...I hate to see what Gray will come up with next,” Robert muttered. “Though something tells me we’re not going to have much choice in the matter!”
“Well, whatever it’ll be, I’ll be by your side,” Shining said. “We worked well together last night, like a well-oiled…”
“...please don’t say machine, I’ve still got the bruises from last night,” Robert muttered. “Ugh, think I’m going to just check into a motel and crash for the day. Like, don’t even bother to try and grab me for guarding Sunset’s house. Like, owwwwwwww…”
“You rest up,” Shining replied kindly, patting him on the shoulder. “I’ll see if I can poach a few men from Galaxy Swirls’ regiment and see if they’ll take over for you and Gallant Glave for the day. ...maybe that new Flash Sentry kid?”
Robert gave Shining an appreciative smile, before walking off. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all. Yeah, maybe he could stand to make friends with his fellow Ranger. He didn’t like this job, nor did he like this town all that much, but he didn’t have to be completely miserable while he worked here.
As he walked, the nearest hotel in his sights, he heard a familiar voice calling out to him.
“Oh darling, wait up!” Rarity said as she managed to catch up to him, panting and sweating a little bit. “I just wanted to talk to you. See, I heard about your living arrangements, or lack thereof, and I thought I might extend you an offer of sorts!”
“Oh?” Robert asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Well, you will have to work for a living, you do have to earn your keep after all but it shouldn’t be nothing that interferes with your job as a Royal Guard. Just a little bit of extra help around the store now and again, you understand?” Rarity asked and Robert nodded. Yeah, that was fair. “But in exchange, I’ll offer you free room and board. Goodness knows you staying in one of those ghastly motels around town just won’t do! So unfashionable!”
Robert shuddered in agreement.
“Oh yes, quite!” he said. “But why you? I mean, why you?”
“Well, I am the Element of Generosity you know. I never let a friend in need stay that way for long!”
“You sound just like Rainbow…” Robert muttered.
“Well, great minds do think alike, darling,” Rarity said booping him on the nose. “So, you’ve got to tell me, how is Prince Blueblood? Tell me, is he really the Prince Charming everyone says he is?”
“I think he’s gay, actually…” Robert said. “No straight man spends that much time working on their hair! Let me tell you, I was guarding him while he was at a restaurant once okay? I had to spend a whole hour waiting for him in the carriage while he did his mane!”
Rarity sighed. “...why is it all the good men are either taken or gay?”
“Or Power Rangers.” Robert thought to himself with a little laugh.
“Maybe you’re setting your sights too high,” Robert suggested as they walked back to the Carousel Boutique. “Just a suggestion, a wild crazy thought but maybe you should try dating someone else?”
“Like you?” Rarity noticing his accidental slip up, even if Robert himself hadn’t.
“Well, maybe not me, pretty sure there’s a rule against dating who you work with somewhere,” Robert remarked. “But you get the idea really. Pretty sure this town’s got plenty of ponies chomping at the bit to date you! You are, after all, Rarity Belle. The Element of Fabulosity, was it?”
“Generosity, but same thing really. Yes, I am indeed the star of the show. I do often dream of ponies asking ‘who is that wonderful, mysterious mare?’ and then I answer, it is I, Rarity Belle!” the white mare proclaimed.
“Well, she thinks very highly of herself doesn’t she?” Robert thought with a snort.
“Well, if the apparel oft proclaims…” he remarked and Rarity laughed.
“See, I knew there was a reason I liked you!” Rarity chimed. “But, if I may say so? You stink!”
“...well, I guess that’s another double spa date for us!”
“Well, I have been looking for an excuse to get a massage…” Rarity trailed off and both burst out laughing.
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Great chapter also Loved the Monster House homage.
10342038
Ooooh, a new commentator!
But yeah, when the monster you're adapting is this guy?
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/powerrangers/images/1/10/House_Jigen.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20131109224429
There's really not much else you can do.
Wait there where people shipping these two?! She was happily married and he was perfectly paired off with Sunset. They had a decent friendship but shipping them together, no just no.
All this stuff about Charlie is just driving me nuts because SPD fans know her fate. Robert is not going to take that well at all. Hopefully by the time he returns he will be ready for getting to deal with the B squad after Sky gets his promotion.
10342170
Well, aside from you who I vaguely making a remark to that effect on one of the newer chapters, the thing is with a boy and a girl it is impossible for them to stay 'just friends'. Goodness knows married couples are fair game to this community, considering not even Shining and Cadence are safe. Shining/Sombra anyone? I don't like it either, but I cannot deny it exists somewhere.
But yeah, the possibilities of this Sunset and this Robert hooking up are... kinda low. They just don't play off each other as well, which granted is because I as a writer haven't given them that opportunity yet here but I'm just not interested in repeating myself everywhere y'know? Layton did tell me that pairing an OC with a mane character is kinda wish fulfillment even if it can be done well. Maybe that scared me away from Robert/Sunset as well. It's probably a combination of factors.
Oh no, this won't end well at all. You know that much. On an unrelated note, I was treated to a rather pleasant surprise. Seems like Rider before them, old Sentai themes up to Gooooooooooookkkkaaaaaaaaaaiiiiigeeeerrrrr are now on Youtube in an official capacity. Case in point?
Yes, that is Susume! Goranger I just posted.
10342208
Well in Wild Access that relationship worked, at least to me. There has always been some form of a relationship in Power Rangers. The question is where is this story within the series timeline and if you want to deal with Shining Armor’s relationship. Plus my no was just about Wild Access. Plus I don’t see Sunset as a mane character, she is more of an important side character.
10342329
Fair enough.
I'm still working on if I want to deal with that relationship, because it could go either way by this point. It could end up a threesome. As for the timeline, this is mid-season 1.
10342438
Ok. Now I can picture a ballroom blitz happening during the gala.
And now that song is stuck in my head.
10342525
....see, now you just gave me ideas for a fight scene.
Well, I found this interesting... definitely liked what you did with the house monster, that couldn't have been easy to figure out how to adapt.
10344479
It actually wasn't that hard, the problem was finding the right time to adapt it. It'd be such a drastic tonal shift -like a few things in Sentai- that I couldn't just have it after a comedy chapter. I needed a good time to finally bust this one out. YMMV if after Reflecto was the right time.
This was a fun chapter. I know you're basing this off a preexisting series and all, but man, that monster was pretty freaky! XD
Also got a kick out of Robert's interactions with some of the other Elements in this one - Rainbow Dash bothering him when he was on duty was very funny, and felt *really* in-character for Dash.
10350159
Yeah, some of the Showa Sentai were downright disturbing at times. Like, Jetman had another monster -based off a sink or water tap- which strangled people with pipes for crying out loud. They could get away with more than you'd see nowadays in Heisei onwards. Not to say Heisei couldn't get disturbing, Abarekiller was all kinds of wrong. But yeah. I had to change absolutely nothing about this monster for this chapter.
Yeah, Robert's such a stick in the mud he's really easy to annoy, much to Dash's delight. As for Rarity, she's the meta mare and Robert is the one guy who really doesn't want to be a Ranger here -kinda like Dillon, fittingly enough, from RPM- so he gets a lot of milage out of snarking at usual tendencies.