12: The Suckage is Major
After the -well, frankly- disaster that was Nightmare Night, or Halloween night or whatever they called it, Sunset had honestly been hoping for a -relatively- quiet month. That was not to be.
Wedding bells rang as November blew in with multi-colored leaves.
“Mares and gentleponies, we are gathered here today…”
Sunset had mostly tuned out the officiant’s speech, it didn’t really matter. All she wanted was this to be over with. The worst part was, she wasn’t even going to get to enjoy the cake!
“....this is truly a historic occasion,” the priest continued. “The marriage of Equestria and Earth, the joining of the mystical and the mortal realm. These two lovely young people, they have gathered us here today for a long honored union that the gods will surely praise. And today, they take their first steps into a larger world!”
Sunset heard a sob, and briefly cast a glance to see Vapor dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief.
The ranger readied herself, any minute now…
“When I met you,” her groom said. “I’d only just arrived in Equestria, I was clueless about the world around me. It was a land of mystic and magic and I was just a cop from NewTech City. But you and your friends, they took me in and they accepted me! They didn’t need to, but they gave me a secondary home, and it is an honor and a pleasure to become your wife.”
Sunset fidgeted, wanting to get this dress off. She could at least wear a coat, it was chilly. ...did they really have to do an outdoor wedding? She’d protested of course, saying it didn’t really matter but… Vapor and Autumn disagreed. It was a beautiful day, and they should take advantage of it!
“Robert Willaims,” she finally spoke, seeing the priest was looking at her worriedly. Well, he wasn’t actually a priest but a certain old warlock. “When we first met, I was a… well, I was a bitch. I still am actually, but you’re helping me work through my issues. I thought I didn’t need friends, but you proved me wrong. You and the rest! And now, here we are, yay, about to take the next step of our lives together!”
“You may kiss the bride,” said Starswirl. “I happily pronounce you husband and mare!”
They kissed, fully expecting what was to happen next to, well, happen! But it never did, and suddenly Shining checked his morpher as it beeped out a familiar pattern. He swore profusely, having heard what the stallion at the other end of the line had to say.
“Alright, pack it up ponies,” Shining said. “He didn’t go for it. He attacked the church. The Valleys, they were renewing their vows and he went after them instead. The guard managed to chase the Beast off, but the damage has been done I’m afraid!”
Alright, explanations are in order. Lately, another Dimensional Beast had been on the attack, going after wedded couples on their day of joy, and sucking them dry. He only appeared, and I mean only appeared on wedding days. Themed after a vacuum, he had Ponyville in an uproar. So, the team had decided the best defense was a good offense and staged a wedding.
Sunset sighed before tearing off the dress exposing her regular clothes underneath. Vapor looked faintly horrified, seeing the admittedly beautiful clothes ruined.
“....well, if that doesn't beat it all!” Robert groaned falling against a nearby planter’s pot, made out of cut stone. Multicolored flowers sprang out of it. “I was holding out hopes that this would work, but… Damn and blast!”
“Clearly we need a re-think,” Starswirl admitted stroking his beard.
“Clearly,” Sunset drawled. “I… I just don’t get it! We set up everything, went through the proper channels! We put out advertisements and everything! Everyone from here to Rambling Rock Ridge, basically, knew we were getting married!”
“...I’m not sure either of you sold it hard enough to be honest,” Vapor mused. “You talked about how deeply in love you were, sure, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes to be honest.”
“It fooled you didn’t it?” Sunset remarked, noticing Vapor’s still tear stained cheeks. “Your makeup is ruined by the way.”
“Yeah, but…” Vapor sighed. “Look, weddings, fake or not just get me all emotional! Every girl dreams of getting married!”
“Not me,” Sunset clarified.
“...so maybe it should have been me up on the aisle,” Vapor went on. “No, not just me! Someone I deeply care about as well!”
“You deeply care about me!” Robert muttered.
“Eh, not that kind of deeply,” Vapor shook her head. “...Maybe if Sky was here… Or, oh yeah! Maybe if the guy behind Godly Ramen was here… Or hell, just some Godly Ramen in general!”
“You can’t marry noodles,” Sunset deadpanned.
“These noodles you can!” Vapor said before taking a long, and probably deliberate slurp with an… interesting look on her face. It was kinda disturbing actually!
“Bet your boyfriend is pretty lucky, Vapes!” said a voice clearly directed to the White Ranger, and Sunset nearly jumped out of her fur as the fucking Princess of Love walked up. She looked radiant as always, it had to be a Princess thing. Sunset didn’t know why they all had to look so gorgeous, give her a leather jacket any day and she’d be happy over a dress.
She continued to speak. “But yeah, sorry, I can tell you exactly why that little ploy of yours wasn’t going to work. Simply put, Vapor was right, neither of you could sell the ‘love’ angle correctly. I mean, I can believe you’re good friends, but dating? Yeah, no. You guys failed utterly at making anyone believe you’re anything beyond ‘just good friends’. Points for effort, but you just failed to stick the landing, as it were. That’s neither of your faults but honestly? There’s really only one way you’re going to attract that beast!”
“Which is?” Shining asked, getting a sinking feeling in his stomach.
Cadence grinned. “You marry me!”
Sunset’s jaw dropped.
Cozy Glow stormed out of the Castle of Villainy or whatever His Highness was calling it nowadays.
Once again, one of her plans wasn’t being taken seriously.
“Sucking up all of the love in Ponyville?” Radiguet had laughed in her face. “How is that supposed to conquer the world? It won’t even conquer one town!”
She grimaced, that… man didn’t really know how ponies worked did he? Love was one of the most important aspects of their culture, probably even more than friendship! It was a higher evolution of friendship itself! You take that away, their resolve crumbled.
“This is your last chance,” he went on to add. “You screw this up, and it’s out the door with you!”
Fine then! This plan had to work, it would work! She’d make sure of it.
It really was a foolproof plan, here was a couple so obviously in love it was almost sickening, Sunset mused to herself.
Love had never really been her ‘thing’ but she could see this was going to work. That is, unless the monster was smart enough to suddenly question ‘why now?’ with only so much but simply a small announcement in the papers. Princess weddings were a really big deal! And the wedding of the Princess of Love was probably the biggest deal of all!
And cue the stunned little sister.
“...what do you mean you’re getting married?” Twilight gaped at her brother. “You should have told me! Like, I would have gladly helped you with… well, everything! Cadence is like a sister to me!”
“We’re not really getting married, Twily,” Shining explained. “It’s just to fool the Dimensional Beast. Nothing more!”
“Rats!” Twilight muttered before looking her brother dead in the eye. “But when you get married for real, you’re telling me in person okay? I don’t want to hear about it via a letter or an ad in the paper agreed?”
“Relax Twily, we’d never leave you out of this,” Shining chuckled at her. “Not in a million years. This may be just an act, but I promise you, when we really do get married? Nothing, not rain or snow is going to stop Cadence from becoming my bride. Not even Radiguet if he’s still around!”
“The nerve of that man!” Cadence practically fumed. “Why, having no room for love in his heart. He’s truly a horrible monster! Love is the most powerful force in the world! And he’s trying to stop it! Just for that, if he appears, and I hope he does, I’ll be kicking his flank myself!”
“You’ll be beating him… well, I don’t suppose you can beat him black and blue, he’s already halfway there,” Shining joked. “He looks like a smurf! A demented warped smurf!”
“...I’d skip the beating and straight to the banishing bit. I’d probably take a cue from my auntie. Bang, zoom, straight to the moon!” Cadence grumbled before sighing to herself sorta sadly.
“It is a bit of a shame really, isn’t it? That this wedding isn’t for real,” Cadence continued, slipping into Shining’s arms. She spoke with a wistful ‘if only’ type of tone. “I’d love to marry you, we’d have this big ceremony in Canterlot with all of our friends and family, yes even Blueblood, and it’d be truly a perfect day…”
Shining kissed her cheek.
“One day…” he mused. “One day… Till then, we have this! Consider it practice for the real deal!”
“Yeah…” Cadence smiled with a loving look in her eyes, before gently shoving him off. “Now go, shoo! Don’t you know it’s bad luck to see a bride before her wedding day?”
“I think the only ones who are about to be finding themselves struck with some bad luck will be Radiguet and his monster!” Shining smirked.
“You can deal with them, my knight in shining… well, I don’t think it’s armor anymore is it?” Cadence teased, giggling. “More like shining spandex!”
“It’s not…” Shining sighed. “...yeah, it’s spandex, explaining what it really is? Yeah, it would take too long!”
“They won’t know what hit them!” Cadence agreed. “By the way, what do you think your new name would be? Or mine? Would it be Shining Mi Amore, or Cadence Armor? ...yeah, Shining Mi Amore sounds better, I should think! Cadence Armor doesn’t sound all too different from my current name!”
Laughing, she wiped a tear from her eye.
“Besides, I’ve always worn the pants in this relationship anyways!” she went on. “Oooooooh, yeah, this creature won’t know what hit it. Between the two of us, I think we can take on the world!”
“That’s the way it’s always been,” Shining smiled, gently interlacing his fingers with her own and grasping her hand. Kissing her cheek, he said: “That’s what it’ll always be, till the end of time.”
“Oh Shiny…” Cadence said with a little wistful sigh, giving him a loving look. Kissing him passionately, she let him go after a minute or so. “You always somehow know exactly what to say!”
Pressing her forehead to his gently, their horns crackling with magic, she said: “Now go get them!”
Shoving him out the door, Shining was met with Sunset.
“It is a bit of a shame really, I’ll agree with Lovebutt,” Sunset sighed. “You two do look so happy together. Hell, maybe after this you should just elope!”
“...since when are you playing shipper, I thought that was my marefriend’s job?” Shining asked, surprised.
“Okay, yeah, it is, but dear Mystic Mother, you looked like someone had killed your kitten,” Sunset said. “As a friend, I can’t just see you looking so mopey. Plus, as your team leader I can’t see it either, you being so down in the dumps? It affects the team dynamics, I’d rather you be worried about the monsters than you moping about your marefriend.”
“So you’re just being practical,” Shining commented.
“No, I’m just being your best bud,” Sunset said slinging an arm around him. “If it means I miss the hen night, eh, I’ll deal. I can party my flank off any day. Buuuuuut seeing you look so stupidly sad is just… well, it’s sad. My advice, marry that mare. For real!”
“I’l… I’ll think about it,” Shining mused. “But yeah, right now I’ll be worried about the Vacuum Beast.”
“That’s the spirit!” Sunset grinned, clapping a hand to his back.
Soon after that, Cadence found herself being fitted.
“Alas, this isn’t my best work, as it’s so short notice but…” Rarity said, fiddling with a dress she’d put together for Cadence. “But this isn’t a real wedding so… I suppose it’s excusable! Ideally, I’d love to do my all, give you the wedding dress to end all dresses but… well!”
“You did perfectly fine work,” the Princess reassured, spinning, her dress a dark blue with a chrysanthemum in her mane. It was ruffled, almost resembling a flamenco dress in some regards. Okay, yeah if you looked closely you could tell it was thrown together quickly but Rarity had clearly given as much as she could give under short notice. “I may have to employ you for the real thing!”
“Ohhhhhh, that would be wonderful!” Rarity squealed, clapping her hands together excitedly. Realizing how she must have looked to her customer, she quickly composed herself. “I mean, yes, that would be quite a fine thing. Simply marvelous. It would be my honor and my pleasure.”
“I may drop a hint that you designed this one as well,” Cadence smiled gratefully. “It’s the least you’d deserve after taking time out of your life to help us with this plan!”
“No! You really shouldn’t!” Rarity laughed nervously. “I was just doing my duty as a citizen of Equestria. Believe you me, I want that monster stopped just as much as… well, probably not just as much as you dear, but he still needs to go! Trying to exterminate love, how so uncouth of him! What a terrible person he must be, to live life with no love for love!”
Sunset, behind her in a fitting room, winced slightly.
Cadence noticed the mare’s uncomfortable shift of her hooves, and sent her a sympathetic look.
“I mean, nobody has to get married…” Cadence said. “I know, it’s odd coming from me of all ponies, but you don’t actually have to fall in love. It’s a joy and a pleasure, but it’s not strictly necessary.”
Sunset peeked out of the curtains and smiled at the Princess.
“...oh, you mean…?” Rarity realized and a look made its way to her face. “...oh wow, now I feel terrible. I’ve heard of Aromanticism and I’ve tried to be understanding about it, and yet here I am, trash-talking ponies who are like that! ...oh, you must think me horrible!”
“It’s a simple mistake, that’s all,” Cadence said. “What’s important is that you acknowledge and understand your mistake, and you move forwards from it. That’s all!”
“Yes…” Rarity nodded. “It was a foolish mistake on my part, and I won’t make it ever again!”
She then turned her gaze back to Sunset.
“Darling, are you done in there? You’ve been taking an awfully long time…” she pondered. “Chop chop! Time is not on our side I’m afraid!”
“Coming!” Sunset shouted, before striding out in what was basically a cocktail dress. Rarity clapped her hands together.
“Marvelous!” she proclaimed. “Simply marvelous!”
“Black is always in season,” Sunset grinned. “My only regrets are that there’s no hen night, and I probably won’t be able to savor the cake! Damn Dimensional Beasts! Just for that, I’m probably blasting him with the Striker Cannon myself!”
“Not if I get to him first!” Cadence grumbled. “He’s forcing me to do a whole fake wedding, when I only want to marry my Shiny for real!”
“Oh, okay then! Whoever blows him up first? The one who doesn’t, they buy drinks for the rest of us!” Sunset grinned. “Be warned, you are going to regret challenging me to this! I blow up monsters for a living and all!”
“We’ll see!” Cadence laughed.
Meanwhile, Rarity had other concerns. Prying a cup of ramen out of Vapor’s hands, she glared harshly at her. “Honestly, you’re going to get broth all over your nice dress!”
“...my noodles…” Vapor whined, and tried to reach for them only for Rarity to swat her hand away.
“You’ll get them back after the wedding’s over!” Rarity glared. “Honestly, they’re not even that nutritious…”
“But they’re a godsend!” Vapor proclaimed. “They’re even called Godly Ramen!”
“Ramen’s ramen,” Rarity said with a shrug. “It’s all the same to me.”
With a sigh, she set the noodles well out of Vapor’s reach before wiping a bead of sweat off her brow.
“...good grief, I knew this is only ‘for the cameras’ and all, but honestly! This is exhausting!” Rarity mused to herself. “I dread the day I’ll have to do a real wedding!”
Robert strode into the kitchen, in a nicely pressed suit, and gave her a comforting smile. “You could hire some assistants, just a suggestion. You don’t have to do it all alone! Nobody would blame you!”
“...but I’m one of the best fashionistas in the land,” Rarity argued. “Only I know how to properly dress a pony!”
“So, you just do the designs. You know how a pony’s attire should look,” Robert said. “Get some other ponies to help out just with the fittings! I’d help even, not really something I know a lot about, but I can probably pick it up on the fly. I do know how to get someone into a dress.”
“You, why would you…” Rarity said before she remembered, flushing a bright red. “Oh, right.”
“Not something I’ve ever been eager to do again, but I still remember how!” Robert chuckled. “Trust me, I think between the two of us? I think we’ve got this. Robert and Rarity!”
“No no dearie, Rarity and Robert. My name goes first, always.”
“...yeah, I suppose it does.”
Cadence, unlike Sunset, wasn't inclined to get a cold from the November chill, so she’d rented a church. It wasn’t exactly the world’s best church, but as Churches of Megan went? It was nice enough. Plus, no Elvis Impersonators! (Robert had half-jokingly suggested that and Cadence had nearly banished him to the moon instead! No spangled jumpsuits would be anywhere near her wedding, fake or no!)
“Dearly beloved,” Starswirl read. “We are gathered here today for a union long in waiting. Princess Cadence Mi Amore and Captain Shining Armor have joined us under the Mystic Mother’s sun to come together as husband and wife.”
Vapor blew her nose loudly.
“...it’s fake, you do know that right?” Sunset pointed out. “It’s basically like watching a wedding on a movie, they’re all acting!”
“But that…” Vapor blew her nose again, her makeup starting to run. “But that doesn’t make it any less real! And look at them, can you honestly tell me that for them, this is fake?”
Sunset glanced at the two, and saw the equal amounts of love in their eyes. Not even she could deny it.
“Cadence, when I met you, I was but a teenager. Scraggly really, and a bit stupid. Like, I don’t even know what you saw in me, but… you fell in love with me anyways. I don’t know if it was because I was related to Twily, or something else but… here we are today! You’ve been with me since thick and thin. My entire life has been marked by change. From when I was a kid to when I was an adult, things were always changing. From a foal dreaming of being a hero, to a simple rank and file member of the Royal Guard, to the Captain! And now I’m a hero. And you’ve been with me… well, pretty much every step of the way. You’re the one pony I can count on above all else, I don’t even trust my men as much as I do you. I love you Cadence, and I’d be honored to be your husband.”
And then Cadence said her vows. “At first, I admit, I didn’t think you were worth my time. You were just Twilight’s brother. But time and again, you proved to be a good man. Twilight wanted to be a ballerina once, remember? I remember taking her to so many classes, but on her big day, she froze. Then, she saw you. You cheered her on, actually you’d often danced with her. You got up and danced with her, and honestly? That’s when I knew there was something different about you, compared to the other stallions I’d met over the years. Your drive, your determination to do right, and be with your family through thick and thin? That is what made me fall in love with you, and I’d be honored to be your wife.”
The whole church thundered with applause as they exchanged rings, several mares and not just Vapor had been crying.
Pressing their horns together, the two kissed. And that’s when all hell broke loose.
The doors of the church exploded, splinters flying even as Sunset, Rarity and Twilight threw up shields to protect the guests. Sunset then wept up a wall of water, a miniature tsunami really, washing Reverser mooks even as the Vacuum Beast leaped over the tidal wave.
It was basically a walking shop vac, the kind you’d probably rent from a store. It bore tubes for limbs, and was bright red, ironically like a heart. It didn’t speak, not really. It roared with the sound of a deafening vacuum’s engine.
“GET EVERYONE OUT!” Shining echoed over the sounds of the monster, using magic to enhance his voice. “NOW!”
Guards like Flash Sentry ushered ponies out, as Starswirl teleported them away. Robert directed everything, gesturing them to exits.
Sunset dodged a swing from the monster, attempting to suck her close to steal any love she might have had. Her knee shot up, nailing the creature in the groin. Slamming her fists into the creature, they blazed with light. Cartwheeling backwards, she joined her team.
“And here I thought the earth didn’t start shaking till after the wedding!” Autumn drawled before tossing a church pew at the creature, only to watch as it was swatted aside. The creature barreled forwards, smashing her through a wall and out onto the front lawn.
Dusting herself off, Autumn let out a yelp as she dodged a swing from the creature. Reversers swarmed her position.
From the trees, Cozy watched the proceedings. Well, this was going better than she’d actually expected! Sure, the others weren’t going to help her, but she didn’t need them! Her latest monster would suck the entirety of Ponyville dry.
Love wasn’t just in the romantic sense after all… With Ponyville, the town that championed friendship and acceptance to all sucked dry? The rest of Equestria would fall easily, demoralized!
And then she could establish herself as the local regient! She’d finally have all that she wanted. Love, power, glory! And nobody, not even the Rangers could stop her.
Radiguet simply didn’t understand. To stop the Rangers, you had to strike at their heart. Forget blowing them sky high with idiotic plans or going to the battlefield yourself! You just had to perform some simple acts of sabotage!
Cozy was willing to play the long game, Radiguet wanted results instantly. That, alas, is why he’d always lose in the end. He simply just didn’t have the patience for a good plan. Neither of those two idiots did.
Let the Rangers think they were all-powerful. She had big plans for them.
Big plans!
The little filly cackled as she rubbed her hands together. They didn’t even know half of what she had in store. Radiguet didn’t. Gray didn’t. The Rangers most certainly didn’t! But oh boy would they be surprised when she unveiled the true genius in her plan.
Radiguet would be groveling at her feet. He’d be sorry for doubting her. All of Equestria would be. Now, all she had to do was sit back and watch the fireworks!
Sunset flipped in her dress, landing on the grass and dodging a slash from one of the Reversers. Spinning, she summoned her sword and slashed another down. Calling for the Falcon Summoner, she fired off several shots from it.
And then she heard the roar, and her face met vacuum as she felt her energy begin to go. It sucked away at her, and try as she might she couldn’t rip it away. She was beginning to feel limp, actually…
And then from out of nowhere, came Robert leaping off a refreshments table with fist drawn back. Slamming his fist into the monster, he watched it stagger and release Sunset, knees a bit wobbly.
“...nobody touches my wife.” he said.
“We weren’t even officially married!” Sunset laughed.
“Oh, but a man can dream…” the Black Ranger teased her.
“Don’t let Rarity hear that…” Sunset said with a wag of her finger before she yelped and ducked to avoid a sword slash.
Spinning away, she back-handed another Reverser before tackling the one who’d tried to decapitate her.
“...she’s so going to ruin Rarity’s dress, and then where will we be?” Robert muttered, side-stepping a Reverser’s sword. Grabbing it by the arm, he twisted it with a sickening crack sound. Sunset leaped into his arms, and he spun her as she summoned their respective sidearms to her grip, blasting any Reverser in sight.
For Cadence, she was battling like in she was a dance whirling around like a ballerina with elegant poise and grace tossing magic blasts right and left. Writhing out of the way of the Vacuum Beast, she shoved it backwards with a thrust from her palm.
The battle progressed back into the church with Sunset and Cadence sharing a look before they set about clearing the room. Sunset grabbed a mook and did a spinning head scissor bringing it to the ground before watching in awe at what happened next.
Cadence was spinning an incense burner around like it was a frail. Using it to crack some skulls, she continued spinning it to use it as a makeshift shield against enemy swords. Finally, the Princess of Love let it fly and it slammed straight into the Vacuum Beast’s head.
“...ouch, I thought you were supposed to be the ‘nice’ Princess,” Sunset said, wincing yet slightly turned on.
“Didn’t you hear?” Cadence asked. “Love hurts!”
Sunset let out a cry of ‘duck!’ before Cadence dived to the floor to avoid a roundhouse kick from the Red Ranger, watching her hoof slam into another Reverser.
“...and that’s me barely breaking a sweat!” Sunset grinned, cracking her knuckles. “By and by, Lovebutt? If you and Shining are ever up for a threesome…”
“Don’t get too ahead of yourself, Sunny,” Cadence grinned.
“But it’s still an option right?” Sunset said backflipping behind a church pew, and shoving it forwards, knocking more mooks to the floor.
“...hmmm, let me see if I can convince Shiny, okay?” Cadence said spinning and blasting another Reverser. “It’ll be tricky, but I think I can squeeze you in!”
“Oh, there will be plenty of squeezing!” Sunset cackled, pulling the rug -literally- out from underneath a group of Reversers. A great wind filled the room and suddenly the two mares realized. An ill wind blew them off their hooves, the dimensional beast striking back with a vengeance.
“...right, enough of this. He’s so going down!” Sunset decided calling for her morpher in a flash of light.
“Not if I get to him first!” Cadence said, with a look in the beast’s direction. “He ruined my wedding!”
“I thought this was only a fake one,” Sunset commented as the other Rangers joined her.
“I’m beginning to reconsider…” Cadence mused taking a step back as she knew the Rangers’ morphs tended to be explosive by all accounts.
Watching them go through their transformation, or rather watching her husband go through his transformation? It did things to Cadence she could barely even describe. Here he was, not just a knight in shining armor but a real life superhero! And she could always count on him to be there for her.
“With the speed of a swallow! Power Ranger Blue!” Shining proclaimed, drawing his sword as it shone in the evening sun.
The others went through their respective poses, and suddenly Cadence got an idea.
“Hey, can just anyone join?” Cadence asked. “Because I dunno, I watched a lot of Magical Filly shows when I was a kid, the ones from Neighpon? And they were pretty fun…”
“...well, uh…” Shining said scratching his head. He shrugged. “I mean…”
“Oh, let me do this! Our first venture as husband and wife!” Cadence said, practically bouncing in place from excitement.
“I say let her, this ought to be good!” Sunset grinned.
“My heart’s in it! Princess of Love, coming at you!” Cadence grinned doing a little curtsy. “You’re all going to love the justice I’m going to bring down upon you~!”
“Right… anyways…” Shining coughed, clearing his throat as the Vacuum Beast let out another roar. A great gust of wind blew them all back out of the church, sprawling them across the lawn.
It was a lot harder to land a blow on the monster than you might have expected. Between avoiding the monster sucking them dry, or just plain blowing them away, it was next to impossible to land a blow on the beast.
Finally, Cadence had enough, raising the ground beneath it and tossing the monster into the treeline. It fought back with equal gusto, and brought gusts of wind that Cadence could only brace against. She swore it was going to drive her deaf at this rate!
“Hey, suck on this!” Sunset called, bowstrings drawn back before she let arrows fly. The monster staggered, and Cadence spun summoning a sword to her hands. Robert blinked, realizing it was his sword she’d stolen from him and he was now without a weapon.
“Hey, you could have at least taken Autumn’s…” he muttered. “Not like she ever uses it anyways!”
Together, Cadence and Shining struck slashing into the monster’s hide. It roared in pain, but the humiliation wasn’t over yet.
Sunset was doing as promised, and leaping at the monster with the massive Striker Cannon in hand. “From me to you, the Great Bazooka of Love!” Sunset called, aiming the cannon square at the monster. “And after this, I'm going to be drinking the hot milk of victory!”
All of this was said with a wily grin under her helm.
“...oh sure, if it was a guy we’d all get complaints of compensating for something,” Robert muttered with a roll of his eyes as he watched her blow the creature away. “But when a mare does it…”
And then up the monster went, growing to the size of a mountain.
But nobody needed to bother summoning their mecha, as Cadence grasped Shining’s hand with her horn sparking to life. “Well, I’ve heard you like to suck away a pony’s love. The very thing that makes them live for each and every day. Their friendships, their crushes, the ability to care for their husbands, wives, and partners! I hate that. You’re an abomination without a heart. And I actually pity you because of that. But now it’s time for you to go.”
Shining’s horn glowed as well, and together they seemed to glow as bright as the sun before up went the monster, the explosion actually resembling a heart.
“...huh, second time in a few weeks a Princess just saved our butts,” Autumn mused. “Do I discern a trend?”
“I hope so!” Sunset said, taking off her helmet to watch as the now husband and wife duo kissed. “Like, wow! ...I wonder if we can get her a morpher.”
“Hush, you’re spoiling the moment!” Vapor shushed her.
And it was indeed a great moment.
“...relax okay?” Sunset said to a nervous Shining, helping him into his carriage. Unlike a traditional horse and buggy, this was powered by a crackling orb of magic. “While you’re gone on your honeymoon, we can hold down the fort. So we’re one Ranger down, no biggie! I can carry the weight!”
“Or rather your ego can,” Shining teased. “I’m going to miss you.”
“Oh, so you do care!” Sunset laughed. “You and your wife, you have fun okay? And hey, if you’re ever feeling like you need some extra ‘fun’, well!”
Shining made an odd strangled sound, somewhat like a squawk but not really. Sunset laughed her head off.
“...you’re insatiable, you know that right?” Shining groaned knowing Sunset was probably teasing him. Probably.
“I dunno… I can kinda get behind the idea…” Cadence mused, rubbing her chin in thought and seemingly appraising Sunset with a glance.
“...as long as one of you gets behind me!” Sunset laughed. “Either you or Lovebutt, I’m not picky!”
“...you really don’t have an ounce of shame do you?” Shining said with a deadpan look.
“Meh,” Sunset shrugged. “I just like to enjoy life while I can! But really, you’ve got nothing to worry about. You and your wife, just enjoy your honeymoon okay? Any monsters show up, well, we’ve got them covered! Now hurry up, you don’t want to get to your hotel late!”
Making a ‘hurry along’ motion with her hands, she basically shoved the two of them inside the carriage and slammed the door. She basically kicked it into life, and watched it slowly trundle down the lane.
“Well, off into the sunset they go,” Sunset smiled. “Bit of a cliche, bit corny, but sometimes the cliches work I guess!”
“...they make a very sweet couple, don’t they?” Rarity remarked. “Oh, one day, I’d be so happy to be swept off my feet by a dashing Prince… Oh well, maybe someday. A mare can dream right?”
And Robert didn’t know why he had that odd sensation in his gut…
Cozy had been thrown out of the castle in disgrace.
Her plan was clearly a failure, at least to Radiguet.
“We did warn you! Screw this plan up, and you’re out of the castle! So, in the words of a great author, so long and thanks for all of the fish!” Radiguet had cackled, as he picked her up by the scruff of her neck and tossed her bodily out the front gate. He cackled as she landed in the mud outside, her dress now ruined. His thugs jeered her, laughing from the windows. Oh, how the mighty had fallen! “I wish I could say I’m going to miss you, but I think not! Honestly, how did you expect to beat the Princess of Love at her own game, huh? You’re so astoundingly stupid it simply astounds me! You’ve failed me one time too often, you’ve got a lot to learn about the villain game. Go see Queen Chrysalis, maybe she can teach you! But I certainly don’t want you around! Let me pontificate upon your sorry state, and so for your information, I'll reiterate, you're only second rate!”
The gates slammed shut with a loud thud! And then up came the drawbridge. Cozy pulled herself out of her disgrace, and sighed. Well, it was to be expected. Radiguet would never be able to understand her game, nor did she really want him to.
So, slowly but surely she trudged through the forest as lightning flashed above. This was a setback, but she could rise above it. She had another plot going on, one Radiguet wasn’t even aware of. And boy neither he nor the Rangers would ever see it coming! The wheels were already in motion, and if that failed… well, she’d go from there!
“Tossed you out, huh?” a voice said in her mind, as cold as the winter's bane, and yet Cozy welcomed it.
“Yes, well, we both knew it was coming!” she remarked. “But not to worry, I’ve got other plans. We’ve got other plans. Don’t we… Lord Zephyrus?”
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This chapter was a lot of fun.
The fakeout at the beginning really threw me for a loop, and then I had a good laugh when I got it pieced together. Vapor was pretty entertaining as a side-character here, and as always, you do a great job with Rarity whenever she turns up.
I very much enjoyed Cadence in this. Both in her gently correcting Rarity at one point, and then just generally with her taking part in the battle sequence. (Her response to Shining morphing into his Ranger form was *very* fun for me.
)
And that conclusion... oh boy.
That's gonna be something to look out for in the future.
10528999
It's very much a reference to PR Samurai, and a similar episode. Though I did get a bit snide with the reference, what with the 'every girl wants to get married' line. That was seriously a line that they said, and it hasn't aged well at all.
Cadence was pretty much the star of the show here, not sure you'll see her again for a while but when I adapted this monster I knew at once who had to be here. And yeah, Cadence, I was worried she'd come off as preachy for that little section, but TehEpicDuckie I think it was reassured me she wouldn't. And honestly, doing some casual Aro rep just felt right.
10529061
Really. Huh. Oh well.
I don't think it was preachy in the least. Honestly, it's probably something that needs to be said a lot more. (I have issues with the whole "you'll feel different when you have a family" thing. There's fewer ways to piss me off faster.) People should get married not because they feel obligated to, but because they want to.
10529073
Yeah... and this ties into what you said below, actually.
Ugh, yes. I have no real desire to have a family these days, honestly. Maybe my mind will change eventually, but I'm just not that interested at the moment. Falling in love, yeah I'd like that, but having a family is pretty low on my list of things to do.
But agreed, marriage isn't something you should be shoved into. It's something you should want to do, nothing more and nothing less.
I am wondering how you plan on addressing Cozy Glow’s age. Is she really a filly or is she like Baby Doll from Batman The Animated Series? Now I am wondering if you have plans on Cadance getting another rangers powers or grabbing another previous Sentai teams powers?