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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Not bad but not a fan of the intense ye olde speak. Makes sentences kinda hard to understand.
10150449
I am trying to make it accurate to the period, it's how ponies speak. At some point it will vanish, I assure you.
You might want to get a proofreader or an editor for your story. There are many grammar mistakes in here. The story idea is great, but I can't really read it right now. If you want to know where to get a proofreader or an editor, go to The Proofreader Group and to the Looking For Editors group for an editor.
I can proofread short bits of chapters so if you want small grammar mistakes that you want to be fixed, just PM me. Just keep in mind that I can only fix small parts, so you might also want to get an official proofreader as well.
10151029
I get it that you want to make it accurate, but do not let that get in the way of the reader. If accuracy comes at the cost of beaing able to read the lines, then you might want to reconsider the accuracy of the old English. The worst it can happen to any fanfic is the reader losing interest.
10288492
I fixed that in the later chapters, I made two versions one old speech and one normal.