9970234

Done! I hope you enjoy!

9971436
YAAAAAYYYYYYY ill read it as soon as i have a bit of free time i cant wait, thanks lots for being so nice and acommodating!!

9971443

I just want as many people as possible to be able to enjoy it!
Have fun!

Well, that was intense. Dragoness on girl action is really hot, in both contexts.

9971588

I'm so glad to hear you enjoyed it! I'm planning on writing more!

9971593
Nice. I'd like to see more. As a personal bit of curiosity, I wonder what a Flutterdragon story would turn out like.

9971605

Nothing but good things could come of that, surely.

9971620
It is Fluttershy, so yeah.

nice work

OK im done! so i start with some crticisms if thats ok:
- her having breasts was a little unexpected, not that i dont like them (obviously lol) but the story's cover picture depicts a much more non-anthro dragon than i think u were going for, and that was what i was expecting. i like both of course so its not a bad thing just pointing out that discrpeancy is there
- "You shudder, feeling your vagina get wetter as she climbs down your body." a little awkward, u can just say "feeling yourself get wetter" and it sounds more natural and conveys the same
- "As she pulls your pants lower, your vagina comes all the way out" yeah uh i think thats defeinitely a leftover of the original version lol. pussies dont really come out so much as they're just exposed, or newly visible, or that sort of thing.
- i love me some tribadism or grinding or whatever u wanna call it, but its less of a up-and-down motion than it is a back-and-forth one, where the skin (and/or scales) r always in contact and its the friction and motion and irregularities of whats rubbing our clits that gets us off
- girls dont cum very much in general, climaxes are more of an internal thing for us. we CAN squirt with a really sensational, special orgasm, but that generally requires finding and stimulating our g spot, which is inside us and thus needs fingers or toys, as well as some crazy clit action (and even then no guarantee). while rarity and reader rubbing pussies and clits woudl be extremely pleasurable and produce great orgasms, i dont think they'd be super juicy ones so much
- guys have a single big orgasm and their done and need to recharge, but for girls its common to have multiple climaxes following each other if our partner keeps going with it; there's no "going soft" part of it for us, so while we can get tired and thats definitely a factor (there are times when we're happy with just the 1 and more interested in pleasing our partner, cuddling, or just getting a good night's sleep lol), we can also keep going and hit another one and another one if we're into it and our partner's good and knows how to keep ramping it up

overall criticism is that u CAN tell it was written first as a mxf story

ok so like, i know that looks like a lot of criticism, but i seriously enjoyed this; u captured rarity's character and style very well, u properly conveyed how sexy rarity is and how sexy dragons are, the lead-up was great, the dominance was intimate and authentic, and the sex was still enjoyable enough for me to...lets just say it was enjoyable enough for me to enjoy it lol. i like ur focus on her claws and tail and scales especially.

even my overall criticism isnt really a complaint because the story was never MEANT to be a female reader, so the fact that u actually took the time and made the effort to give female readers a version to enjoy is really awesome of you and very generous. thank u so much!

from reading the other comments i get the feeling u may be writing more of these dragon x reader stories, and if so, i'd love to read them! and just as an idea, 100% fine if u dont want to, but u coudl try writing 1 of them first using a female reader, and then try adapting it to a male reader afterwards if u wanted to do the 2 versions thing again; if ur more familiar with male reader stories then it might be a more natural transition. just uh...if u do that, personal request, not for rainbow dash or pinkie pie, im not into them, but thats just a very personal request so feel free to ignore lol

anyway, pony x woman is hot, dragon x woman is hotter, and this story has been super hot and u did it very well! thank u again for including us in it!!!

9973718

Thanks so much for all the criticism! I'll definitely go back through and give it another revision.

I had trouble finding cover art that I actually liked. None of it really matched the mental image I had, but this one was the closest. I would've commissioned something but I'm broke lol

9973731
ur welcome, thanks for taking the criticism gracefully

9973815

Of course! I appreciate the thorough feedback, especially since it gives me a better idea how to write for a female reader.

9973834
and thats how u become a great writer :)
lemme know if u write any more f/f stuff, ill love to read it!

9974156
I plan to!

great story, keep up the good work!

9989509

Really happy you enjoyed it!