To Be Without Magic

by Amethyst_Crystal

A Stormy Night

“Do you wanna play?”

“No. Leave me alone.”

“But you’re always alone! Why don’t you want to play with other ponies?”

“Because other ponies don’t like me!”

“Well, I want to play with you.”

“Only because nopony else is playing.”

“I will never be alone. I can’t live without any friends.”

“But I will always be alone. And so will you.”

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Starlight Glimmer woke up. She felt pain. Exhaustion. Uncertainty. The storm outside grew louder. How could she get some rest like this? She rubbed her face. Tears? Another unhappy dream? “Guess I might as well stay up,” she grumbled.

A loud thudding knock on the front door, so far away yet clearly audible. She thought it was thunder at first, then it happened again. Somepony needing shelter, at this time of night?

Starlight teleported to the castle doors, with a groggy frown, opening up with her magic. A flash of lightning, and there stood Fizzlepop Berrytwist, glaring down at her.

“AHHH!” Starlight screamed, slamming the door hard, Fizzle catching the edge in her front hoof, holding it fast, glare unchanging. “Heh, sorry. I got a little spooked...”

Stepping back into the castle foyer, she gave space for Tempest to shake out her mane and tail. She stood within the stone halls, letting the water drip from her suit and armor. “So you are a coward,” she intoned calmly.

The pink-purple pony widened her eyes and huffed indignantly, “I am not! I just wasn’t expecting you, that’s all...”

“You must’ve expected some pony, else you wouldn’t have responded to the knocking.” Starlight almost interjected, but Tempest continued, “I was training out on the fields before the storm began. I neglected to check this town’s weather report first.”

Glimmer grumbled a bit, “Why would you train in the middle of the night, wouldn’t it be better to get sleep?”

Tempest’s horn crackled. “My sleeping patterns are irregular and varied. I do not have a set pattern in my life, now that I’m a wandering Speaker of Friendship.” A flickering glow formed above, as her broken horn shot more glowing sparks. “And I’ve always been able to see in the dark.”

“Hmm, well… fair enough.” Starlight accepted. “I usually prefer at least a friend or two around when I practice magic.”

Berrytwist shook her red mane and scowled. “I always practice alone.”

Counselor Starlight flinched and grimaced, touching a hoof to her head. Why did those words hurt her so much? She vaguely recalled an unhappy dream…

“Are you unwell?” Tempest asked, more gently than expected.

“No, no I’m fine,” Starlight regained her composure and took a deep breath, smiling warmly. “Would you like me to take you to one of the fireplaces?”

Tempest curtly responded, “No, I dry off quickly, and the castle is warm enough.”

Starlight hmmed. “Maybe you’d like to relax in the… library?”

“I suppose there could be some books of Twilight’s of use to me, but...” Tempest frowned, reluctant. “Alright, show me the way,” she finally agreed.

Starlight took Tempest’s hoof, closing her eyes as a flash of turquoise light enveloped them, and immediately they were in the castle library, a circular room with a high ceiling, symbolic inner branches of the tree castle arching across all the shelves carved into the walls.

Tempest tore her hoof away, snapping, “What’s wrong with you?”

Starlight gasped in surprise. “Wh-what do you mean?”

Tempest growled irritably, “You can’t just teleport ponies all over the place without asking!”

Starlight pouted, feeling guilty but frustrated, “I’m sorry, but it’s not like Twilight hasn’t done that too, and I know I saw her teleport you at least once at the school!”

Tempest blinked, frowning thoughtfully. “Oh. Yes, that is true. And, I didn’t confront her about that.”

Starlight stomped a hoof. “I’m starting to think you just have something against me.”

Tempest looked up, sadness in her eyes. “Yes, I guess I do...” she turned, slowly moving to one of the desks and sitting down at it.

Starlight was taken off-guard, having seen Tempest melancholy like this. She moved a little closer, staying silent, uncertain.

Tempest spoke up, soft and somber. “I keep wanting to remember all the bad things about you. And about me too. What I did, it went too far. I think...” She turned and looked Starlight in the eye. “I think I’m afraid of hurting somepony again.”

Starlight snapped, “Well congrats, you already have earlier today.” She put a hoof to her mouth. “Uh, that wasn’t what I meant to-”

“Yes it was. And it’s fine. I’m not going to be angry at you now.” Tempest rubbed a forehoof against the table, staring down at it.

Glimmer sat across from Berrytwist, speaking gently, “Before you arrived, I had a dream about two little fillies. I wasn’t sure before, but I think they were me, and you.”

Tempest looked up intently, as Starlight continued, “I kept asking her if she wanted to play, and she told me she prefers to be alone. That I only wanted to play because I was alone too...”

The red mare sighed deeply. “Well, it sounds like your dream was somewhat true. Except, you aren’t alone.”

“Neither are you. You don’t have to go wandering all the time, you can stay here,” Starlight reached out a hoof, smiling.

“I know of your friend Trixie. If a stage magician has no problem spending her days alone in the wilderness, why should I?”

“Pretty sure Trixie takes a break to interact with pony civilization a lot more than you do though.”

Tempest scowls and thuds the table, rising up taller on her forehooves. “Like your dream said, I want to be alone. Usually. It is what keeps me sane.”

Starlight shook her head. “You say that, but it comes from a place of trauma.

“And what are you going to do, heal me of my mental wounds?” scoffed Tempest, “You really are arrogant sometimes.”

“I can try to help at least. Don’t you see? I’m personally familiar with social trauma. I lost my mind from loneliness. Until Twilight found my sanity again.”

Tempest snorted. “I suspect what you went through is nothing compared to what I’ve dealt with.”

Starlight nodded. “You’re right, it’s probably not… in fact, I think I over-reacted badly at the time... but this isn’t a competition for angst, now is it?”

Tempest slumped in her seat and looked away. “Being alone at least keeps me in control of my destiny.”

Starlight moved closer, putting a hoof on Tempest’s shoulder, then reaching around to hug her, the red mare stiffening up in shocked surprised. “Friendship is never easy. But it can be comforting.”

Tempest growled angrily, “Back off, now,” her horn crackling energy again.

Starlight gasped and pulled away meekly, a sad look in her eyes. “I-I’m sorry.”

Tempest sighed deeply. “It’s n-not you. I can’t handle physical touch from most anypony. It just... it disturbs me.”

Starlight nodded. “I think you deserve all the hugs and cuddles in the world, Fizzlepop,” she announced, ignoring their shared heavy blushing. “But I understand that nopony can change in one night.”

Tempest stood up from the desk, “You’ve changed. You don’t have any anger or resentment in your heart like you did earlier. I still do.” She closed her eyes. “I guess I am the weaker pony after all.

Starlight reached out again, gently touching Tempest shoulder. She flinched, but didn’t pull away. “It’s like Twilight already told you. You’re strong and powerful as you are.”

Tempest looked down at the smaller unicorn, tears in her eyes. “Not on the inside.”

Starlight smirked. “On the inside too. I have never in my life known a pony with as much grace and calm as you.”

Tempest stomped a hoof and tossed her mane, looking away. “That is not true.”

Starlight laughed. “Well, you haven’t seen the alicorn princesses when they get frantic. Uh, besides Twilight anyway.”

Tempest shook her head. “I was a fool to fight her. I was a fool to rely on the Storm King. I should have just destroyed him sooner.”

“And taken over his empire? I don’t know if that would have been so great.”

Tempest laughed. “I couldn’t care less about that. All the cruelty I inflicted on my own people, was for the sake of restoring my horn. I believed the Storm King had an artifact or talisman of power which could do so, he was a mage-thief with great influence after all….”

“And now?”

“And now, I guess I’m still coming to terms with the fact I don’t...” she looked upwards. “I don’t need to restore my horn. I’m good enough as I am, but...”

“But it’s difficult to come to terms with.”

“Yes.”

Starlight gestured to the castle. “Why not stay here for a few days before you venture out again? You’ll get some more opportunity to hang out with Twilight.”

“Or with you.”

“Haha, well, no that isn’t required, I understand if-”

“No, I want to. It does me good, speaking to you,” Tempest reached out to put a hoof on Starlight’s chest.

“R-really?” Starlight blushed deeply. “You like listening to my, my...”

Tempest laughed softly. “Yes. You are a good counselor, after all.” and then she did the unthinkable: she reached out and hugged Starlight close, nestling her chin against her shoulder.

Starlight happily accepted, the wizard squeezing the powerful warrior close.

Tempest pulled away. “I still feel awful inside, but, maybe I can stay here awhile, and see if that helps. Besides, we still need to do that duel.”

Starlight looked a bit nervous. “Well, to be honest, I don’t fight non-magic-users that often...”

Tempest chuckled. “It’s alright. We can practice together.”

Starlight nodded. “So, do you want me to show you to one of the guest rooms?”

Tempest shook her head. “No, I think I will stay here after all, and do some reading. Maybe catch up on pony knowledge. You should go rest though, for classes tomorrow.”

Starlight yawned heavily. “You’re right, I probably should. Well...” she felt reluctant, as though something else had to be said. But as a counselor, she knew she shouldn’t push things too far, even if she wanted to.

“Goodnight,” Tempest spoke on their behalf, turning to browse the bookshelves, touching with her hooves.

Starlight muttered softly, “Goodnight,” and teleported back to her room, crawling into bed with a heavy sigh.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

“I’ll play with you, just this once.”

“Why not more than once?”

“You won’t like me. I’m a scary pony.”

“I’m a scary pony too!”

“Really? Then maybe we can be friends.”

“Yay!”

Comments

[Venerable Ro]

Those dreams are a lovey touch, nicely done!

[Amethyst_Crystal]

9866317
Thank you!