Movie Magic: the EM2 cut

by The Blue EM2

They Shoulda Known Better

"You found this in a supply closet?" Canter asked, staring in disbelief. "Why did nobody think to look there?"

"According to the diagram," Juniper commented, "it was 'strictly off limits'. I have no idea why though."

"We didn't find the relics," Twilight added, looking grim and grave before her face brightened up. "But we don't think the thief has had a chance to take them off the lot yet." She glanced about as Pinkie began scouring each and every part of the set with a magnifying glass. "We wanted your permission to search the Tricorners Village set from top to bottom. Maybe we'll find a clue that would lead us to where they're hidden."

"Of course," Canter replied, glancing over to Chestnut. At that moment in time, Chestnut was trying to make sense of Pinkie's bizarre behaviour, and turned around once Canter began speaking again. "Chestnut, I need you to get into hair and makeup." A manic grin appeared in his face and he began swinging his arms back and forth. "As soon as we get the relics, we're gonna start shooting again."

Chestnut huffed, and puffed, and blew-

That's enough referencing the Three Little Pigs.Chestnut huffed loudly, and turned away. "Hmph. We'll see."

Canter then continued issuing instructions. "Juniper, can you do a smoothie run? I'm sure all this sleuthing is gonna make everyone thirsty."

"Absolutely!" Juniper exclaimed, before heading off the set.

Twilight, in the meantime, flicked on a radio. "Sunset, how is the security system holding up, over?"

"The cameras are up and running now, over," Sunset replied. "All corridors are covered, so we'll be able to see if anything odd is happening, over."

"Excellent, over" Twilight replied. "Keep your eyes peeled and inform me if you see anything odd. Out."

---

Up in the security room, Sunset sat in a swivel chair, sliding between desks. Above her were several large monitors covering the various corridors in the site (the screens were, of course, linked to the cameras which had only just recently been got working again). She shook her head. If the CCTV had been running earlier, none of this sleuthing would have been neccesary. But oh well, none of that mattered now. Sunset scanned her eyes across the monitors to see what was going on. There was Chestnut, heading towards hair and makeup, talking on her phone with someone (though what about we will never know, the cameras not picking up sound). She then sighted Juniper, who opened a door to the backlot and began walking toward the Backlot Barbeque (according to her map), whilst carrying a huge pile of drinks bottles. And then...

A figure dressed from head to toe in black, who looked just like the one they had chased, appeared from the caretaker's office and headed off in the direction of a storage room.

"There you are," Sunset smirked, before deploying her microphone. "Girls, I think we have our mystery thief. They're heading for Storage Room 3-B. I repeat, they're heading for Storage Room 3-B. We're moving in to apprehend."

---

The person in black stepped across the storage room floor, treading across a crash mat that made no sound at all despite the person's boots. They walked over to a box, and prized open the lid before lifting out three very familiar objects. As they turned to go, the hood slipped.

"I told you all it wasn't Chestnut!" exclaimed a voice. Rarity appeared from behind a box. Sunset followed shortly after. "Though I daresay I have no idea who you are."

"That's Anderson," Sunset explained. "He's the caretaker around here, though I suspect not for much longer. 'His eye unyeilding, relics wielding, here he stands, the man in black'!"

Anderson blinked back, as the rest of the Rainbooms arrived, followed by a seriously confused Canter. "Well, well, well," he replied coldly. "If it isn't the Brother's Grimm. Here to clean up before the Police arrive?"

"What's going on here?" Canter asked. "Why is my own caretaker in black and holding the relic props?"

"You should really keep a better eye on your employees, you know," Anderson replied.

"He stole the props," Sunset explained.

"He... he wouldn't. He's one of my longest serving and most faithful employees!"

"I work for the studio, not for you," Anderson replied. "You simply lease the space from us."

"He would," Twilight explained. "And he most certainly did. He set off the collapse of the volcano set, but before then he had to lay a trap. So he planted a wrapper from one of Juniper's peanut butter praline crunch bars, playing off the known tension between her and Chestnut. This would make you suspect her.

"Then, he used the distraction to unlock the relic box and remove the relic props, using the keys he had on him when Juniper, Rainbow Dash, and I encountered him on the backlot. But he was disturbed by Rainbow Dash and Juniper when he attempted to remove them to a safer hiding place, which was why the padlock was open. So he was forced to hide them in the first place he could find."

---

Anderson pulled the relics free from the box. They were wedged in pretty tight, but he was able to pull them out with minimal difficulty. Suddenly, he heard footsteps coming from two directions, and leaped behind a vendor's stall before Rainbow Dash and Juniper arrived, the former gawping in horror at the scene before her.

"Ah! They're gone!" the former cried, her face stuck in an expression not disimilar to The Scream.

"What happened?" Juniper asked, looking closely.

"The relics are gone!" Rainbow Dash called. "C'mon! We have to find Canter!"

---

"How did you know how to rule out Juniper?" Sunset asked.

"I took a look at the schedule," Twilight smiled, "and her alibi of dropping off a script for another director adds up completely. I even went and checked with said director that said script had been dropped off with him, and he said that said script had reached said director in said location."

"Please use a thesaurus," Anderson groaned. "The lack of variety in your English is distressing."

"Didn't Daring Do encounter one of those?" Pinkie asked.

"Anyways," Twilight continued, "Anderson knew he couldn't leave the relics there. So he took his first opportunity to sneak them off when he could, and unfortunately (for Anderson at least) we spotted him! However, he knows each and every part of this place like the back of his hand, being the oldest employee here by a considerable margin, and was able to not only trap us by demolishing a gantry, but also lock Rainbow Dash in the supply closet with his aforementioned keys. Giving him plenty of time to hide them."

"When did you figure out it was him?" Rainbow Dash asked, astonished.

"I started to piece things together when Juniper unlocked the door to get you out of the supply closet." Twilight paused. "But I knew Anderson would never admit he was the one who had taken the relics."

"Unless, of course, he was caught in the act of trying to move them again!" Sunset observed.

"Exactly," Twilight smiled. "Which is why I told you to send Juniper on that smoothie run. By this point, the CCTV cameras were running again, and we could conclusively prove Juniper was innocent of the crime. And we snapped up Anderson when we saw a figure in black leave the caretaker's office."

There was a slow, sarcastic clap. "Very clever, Sherlock," Anderson applauded. "Very clever. You should consider law enforcement as a line of work."

"Why would you do this?" Canter asked, his voice starting to break in shock at one of his oldest friends turning on him like this.

"Why would I?" Anderson replied. "It is simple; you are running this place into the ground. You were once a great director, helming such classics as Hinny of the Hills, the remake of The Sound of Music, and even Intercity (even if slapstick isn't really my thing). But then? You take on a string of bad projects, such as this insufferable nonsense like Daring Do! Hasn't anybody noticed that those books are essentially Indiana Jones clones?"

"No they're not!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

"What happens to Daring Do in the opening act of the first book?" Anderson asked rhetorically. "Oh wait; she gets chased by a boulder in an underground temple. No wonder A. K. Yearling rarely shows her face; she must spend a lot of time fighting lawsuits."

"That's hardly a reason to go-"

"And your casting decisions are terrible. I told you, over and over, that casting Chestnut Magnifico, an actress who works in hair commercials of all things, was an apalling mistake! Let me spell it out; Chestnut. Magnifico. Cannot. Act. I'm willing to bet that insufferable niece of yours would be better!"

Canter was stunned into silence at the fact Anderson felt so strongly over this. So Anderson continued.

"So, if enough things kept going wrong, you would can the project and make a good film for a change. Maybe try a zombie movie."

At long last, Canter finally found words to speak. "So, let me get this straight; because you objected to what films I made, you sabotaged production, stole equipment, put lives at risk, and tried to frame other members of the production team- all to get a film shut down. That is incalculably stupid!"

Anderson blinked. "I suppose it is," he replied. "So I'll save you the bother of sacking me. I quit." He removed the keys from his jacket and dropped them on the floor, before smashing them. "Have fun cleaning up the mess." As two burly men dragged him to the door, he glanced back. "Mark my words. Daring Do and the Masked Thief of Mareapore will never be exhibited. You can count on it."

---

Moments later, Chestnut appeared through a door, quite out of tone with the scene that had just passed. "Canter, there you are!" She laughed. "So sorry I'm not in makeup, but I've just gotten a call from my agent. I no longer have to work on that ridiculous documentary about nests next month. Ha-ha!" She paused. "I swear, when they approached me, I thought they wanted to do a documentary about my organization for homeless animals, not on various "nests" around the world! Completely misleading! But no matter! That's all behind us!"

"Well that was convenient," Rarity said.

Just then, Juniper appeared with a tray covered in smoothies. "Smoothie run!" she called, putting the tray down. She looked puzzled. "Wait a minute," she said, and counted. "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, te-" She stopped. "Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two-" She facepalmed. "I've done it again, haven't I? Made too many!"

"Have that one for yourself," Canter told her. "I don't think we'll have any more problems on set for a while."

"Indeed!" Chestnut smiled. "No more scheduling conflict! I can extend my contract and continue filming Daring Do. Hey, are those the missing relics?"

"Yes," Canter replied. "And I don't think we'll have to worry about them disappearing again. And it's all thanks to our visitors from Canterlot High. First you save Camp Everfree, now the Daring Do movie. Y'all are certainly on a roll."

Rainbow Dash laughed. "Uh, speaking of roles... Don't suppose you've got any extra parts my friends and I could play? You know, heh, as a reward for saving the day?"

Canter made a picture frame with his hands, moving it backwards and forwards a few times. "I think we could figure something out. Juniper?"

"Yes boss?"

Canter turned to his neice. "How would you like to be an extra in the final scene of the film?"

---

Daring Do dashed through the streets of Mareapore, carrying the sword of Altoriosa. She splashed through a puddle, running past Sunset and Rarity examining quilts, and Applejack selling apples (most odd for the Middle East). Pinkie was busy entertaining a crowd of jugglers, by being a juggler, whilst Daring prevented Twilight from dropping her books.

Then she pushed Fluttershy back. Before them stood his evilness, Stalwart Stallion (no longer Mojo, as we are a LOT later into the story). "You will give me the Sword of Altoriosa!" he boomed, cackling loudly.

"I don't think so, Stalwart!" Daring Do shouted back, in possibly the most nebulous accent possible.

"Have it your way!" Stalwart replied, before starting to speak in a strange language. The sword flew out of Daring's hands and into a vast energy field. "Give up, Daring Do! The Sword shall be mine!"

Suddenly, there was a wolf whistle, and who should appear but Rainbow Dash! She threw a whip to Daring Do, as music that was as close as possible to the score of Raiders of the Lost Ark without incurring the wrath of Speilburg's lawyers started up. Daring cracked the whip, and it flew forward, knocking the Staff out of Stalwart's hand.

"This is so awesome!" a voice said from offstage.

"Cut!" Canter yelled, as the other actors looked very cross. "AGAIN?"

Rainbow Dash looked very silly. "Uh, sorry."

Juniper turned to her uncle. "I know it's late in production, but can't you just dub over it?"

Author's Note:

Roll credits!

Comments

[Mystic Sunrise]

Great. Now Mirror Magic has no reason to exist. At least with Juniper. Unless you make another boring as buck oc to take her place.

[The Blue EM2]

9817005
Excuse me, but are you something of a salty commenter?

[ScisetShimmerEvan]

That's enough referencing the Three Little Pigs .Chestnut huffed loudly, and turned away. "Hmph. We'll see."

Pigs. Chesnut*

A figure dressed from head to toe in black, who looked just like the one they had chased, appeared from the caretaker's office and headed off in the direction of a storage room.

Well, that answers the question that juniper isn't the culprit.

Anderson blinked back, as the rest of the Rainbooms arrived, followed by a seriously confused Canter. "Well, well, well," he replied coldly. "If it isn't the Brother's Grimm. Here to clean up before the Police arrive?"

Your the one who's in trouble!

"I took a look at the schedule," Twilight smiled, "and her alibi of dropping off a script for another director adds up completely. I even went and checked with said director that said script had been dropped off with him, and he said that said script had reached said director in said location."

Twilight is quite a good detective if you ask me.

"No they're not!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

He does have a point though.

"And your casting decisions are terrible. I told you, over and over, that casting Chestnut Magnifico, an actress who works in hair commercials of all things, was an apalling mistake! Let me spell it out; Chestnut. Magnifico. Cannot. Act. I'm willing to bet that insufferable niece of yours would be better!"

https://m.

Anderson blinked. "I suppose it is," he replied. "So I'll save you the bother of sacking me. I quit." He removed the keys from his jacket and dropped them on the floor, before smashing them. "Have fun cleaning up the mess." As two burly men dragged him to the door, he glanced back. "Mark my words. Daring Do and the Masked Thief of Mareapore will never be exhibited. You can count on it."

That was... surprisingly easy?