Luna Rising

by AstonMartinLover

Remorse

Chapter 6: Remorse

The two sisters stared up at the stars. Celestia seemed almost entranced by them. Luna looked at the floor.

"Celestia...I'm sorry I fled. I knew not what else I could do..."

Celestia continued staring at the stars. "You were frightened. And I could have done a much better job of alleviating your fears."

Luna continued looking at the floor. She could not look at her sister. The guilt was too much.

"You are here to take me back, yes?" Luna asked.

Celestia nodded sadly. "It's not up to me. The Equestrian Justice Department was demanding that I turn you over to them days before you escaped."

Luna sniffled. "I will stand trial?"

Celestia closed her eyes. "I told you, it's not up to me. The Equestrian Justice Department works almost entirely beyond my control."

Luna sighed. "If I were to go to...some sort of prison, do you think it would help my image?"

Celestia paused. This was the first time she'd ever heard her sister mention a way to improve her image.

"You'd be willing to do that?"

Luna nodded. "I wish that this hang over my head no longer. And...any help you can provide would be greatly appreciated."

Celestia was surprised. Ever since she had returned, Luna had been so guarded, insisting that she could change her image on her own. Then she'd spend the day getting through her royal business as fast as possible, before running off to the garden or some empty hallway, far away from the public eye.

Celestia clutched her sister closer to her. "Oh Luna. You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that."

Luna sighed. "I am truly sorry for the way I've been these past few months. After a while, all this hatred I received from my subjects, it...it changed me in a way I didn't like."

Celestia considered her words. She remembered the first few days of Luna's freedom. She had been so happy, so grateful, just to be free of her moon prison, and to have been given a second chance. She wanted that Luna back.

"While I have no say in any possible conviction, I can determine the parameters of the sentence." Celestia explained.

Luna nodded.

Celestia continued. "I can make sure your sentence is light. I could probably even have you housed in minimum security. Someplace comfortable."

Luna nodded again, looking truly lost.

"Look at me."

Luna's ears went back. "Why?"

Celestia pulled a little closer to her sister. "I want to see your face, Luna."

Luna turned, tears streaking down her face. "I do not deserve thy mercy sister. Please. Let our subjects decide my sentence. Tis only fair."

Celestia wrapped her foreleg around Luna's shoulders. "If it were up to them, you'd probably be back on the moon. Which undoubtedly would not end well. I have to intervene."

Luna looked up at her and managed a smile. "I do not deserve a sister as kind as you, Celestia."

Celestia chuckled. "Well you're stuck with me. Deal with it." She said, poking her playfully.

"Alright. I have an idea. Let's talk about something else eh? No more about Nightmare Moon, or prisons, or guilt. Alright?"

Luna looked up at her and frowned. "Okay?"

There was a silence between the two sisters. Luna was trying desperately to think of something to talk about that didn't involve any of those things.

Everything in her life over the past thousands years had revolved around two of the three. A thought popped into her head.

A question. A question that had haunted her for almost her entire life. And one that had been supposedly answered many times.

"Tia?"

"Yes?"

"Did mother and father leave because of me?"

There was a pause. Celestia managed a groan. "How many times have you asked this question?"

Celestia had known their mother and father quite well. However Luna had only a vague memory of them, as she had been not but a filly when they left the two.

"I wish to know the truth this time." Luna said sharply. "Was it my own fault?"

Celestia closed her eyes and shook her head. "No. It was not. Will you ever stop asking?"

"I shall stop asking when I am told the truth." Luna replied, venom in her voice.

"THIS IS THE TRUTH!!" Celestia shouted, using the royal canterlot voice she hadn't used in hundreds of years.

The little purple alicorn shrunk down in fear. She took a moment to regain her bearings.

"Then why did they leave us?"

Celestia sighed. She moved closer to Luna again, remorseful over her outburst.

"They had other worlds to explore. Other places to bring balance to. I promise it had nothing to do with you."

Luna put her head down. "And why did they never bid me goodbye?"

Celestia felt the tugging at her heartstrings. Honestly, she hated talking about mother and father. She still remembered all too well the night they left. It had left a gaping hole in her heart that still hadn't fully healed in the last thousand years.

"Luna...come now..."

Luna banged her head softly on the stone floor. "They always did think better of you than I."

Celestia put out her hoof to stop Luna's head from touching the floor. "Luna. Why do you say these things? You only hurt yourself. Trust me Luna. If anything, they loved you more."

"Tis a lie." Luna said matter of factly.

Celestia shook her head. "It isn't. Luna, I remember when you were just a foal. They way they looked upon you. The pure joy in their eyes. They loved you so much Luna. It was just their time to move on."

Luna looked at the sky where the aurora borealis had spoken to her. Whether they had loved her or not, her transformation had shaken that love.

There was a silence. Luna tried to edge away from her sister, get deeper into the cold of her former bedroom.

Yet Celestia continued edging towards her. Luna looked into her eyes. She looked so genuinely happy. So loving.

And this just made Luna feel worse.

"I know it eats at you. Being thought of as a monster. I can see it now. You feel you must overextend yourself in heroic acts to overcome it." She lay her wing back across the younger alicorn's back again. "You don't have to do that."

Luna still had tears in her eyes. Celestia wiped them away.

"Time heals all wounds. In time, everypony will be able to see the good in you. I know I do."

All this big sister sappiness. It reminded Luna of her fillyhood. The times when she would get scared or have a nightmare during the night. She would trot over to her sister's room, usually in tears, and get to sleep in the big bed. With her big sis.

And Tia, like a mother, seemed to know exactly what to say to settle her sister down. She missed those times. Everything was so much simpler. No real royal duties. An innocent mind, free of jealousy and resentment. The freedom to do stupid and childish things.

Thinking of stupid and childish things brought Luna back to a memory from earlier that day. She chuckled.

"What is it?" Celestia asked.

Luna shook her head. "Nothing..." She trailed off as she experienced another fit of laughter.

Celestia began giggling too. "What? Tell me!"

"Oh...you wouldn't remember. Twas a long, long time ago."

"Bet you ten bits I would." Celestia replied.

"Very well. Do you remember when you first told me your cutie mark story? And I tried to attire myself as you?"

Celestia thought a moment. Her eyes seemed to twinkle as the memory returned.

"How could I forget, Princess Lunestia?"

The two sisters giggled, as they had on that night, almost 1200 years ago.

"Oh, where did you find that paint? It was so hard to get out!"

Luna smirked. "I financially assisted a guard."

Celestia frowned, not understanding.

"A bribe. I bribed my guard to acquire for me, some white paint. The quickest drying paint in the land." Luna declared proudly.

Celestia's grin was wide now. She looked away. "That was a hellish night."

"Oh please. You could not cease to laugh dear sister." Luna pointed out.

Celestia nodded. "You are right. I was somewhat disappointed with the final product however."

Luna arched an eyebrow. "Really?"

"Yes. A+ for effort. But you drew my cutie mark sloppy. And you didn't even try to make your mane float as mine does."

She ran her hoof through her elegantly cascading mane. Luna rolled her eyes.

"Thy mane is an unnecessary inconvenience."

Celestia let out a hearty laugh. "You are jealous dear sister."

"I am not. My own mane is perfect." She ran her hoof through her dirty, unkempt, light blue mane. It had not fared well in the Everfree Forest.

"Oh of all the days not to bring a brush." Celestia said, internally scolding herself for not bringing one. "I guess I'll just have to do it by hoof..." She raised her hoof.

"Cease and desist dear sister." Luna laughed, raising her hooves over her head. "I do not need you to comb my mane like I am some kind of baby."

Celestia chuckled and patted her on her head. "You'll always be my baby sister."

Luna sighed. She wanted to shut off her mind. She could feel Nightmare Moon, inside her head, telling her not to trust Celestia. And even as she wanted to get closer to her sister, for warmth if nothing else, that part of her mind refused to allow her.

"And while you assist in fixing my image, I was wondering...could you perhaps help me deal with this...demon that's running amok in my head?"

Celestia cocked her head, still curious about the demon. "Of course I can. I'll have the best doctors in Equestria working on your case by tomorrow."

Luna put her head down. That bit of her mind that told her she didn't need help was screaming at her now.

"And...if I do go away...will you visit me?"

Celestia yawned. "Do you want me to?"

Luna's ears went back. "I don't...yes. Yes I do."

Celestia smiled. "Then I'll visit you every day. Promise."

A part of Luna's mind was still suggesting all the reasons Celestia had to hurt her. And all the reasons why she should stay away from her older sister, perhaps even fly off into the forest.

But she could feel herself giving in exhaustion.

"Celestia?" She asked.

"Mhhm?" Celestia asked, yawning again.

"Dost thou ever stop to look at my moon?"

There was a good silence before Celestia answered.

"For all the years after I banished you there, I couldn't. It brought me too much pain to look upon it. But since your return...I find myself looking to the moon more and more." She sighed. "I hope that answer does not upset you."

Luna yawned. "Pay it no mind sister."

"Come here Luna. You need not fear me." Celestia said, as Luna kept a good distance between them.

Luna felt the bite of the cold air around her. Celestia gestured to her. She really did fear her sister. She still stayed away.

Celestia rolled her eyes. "Look, I have to make sure you can't escape. Now I can either chain you to the wall, or you can come here right now."

Luna did not much like the idea of being imprisoned here overnight, and instead elected to snuggle up next to her sister. She rested her head on Celestia's shoulder. Celestia wrapped her wing around Luna, both as guard against an escape, and to protect her from the biting cold.

"Is this so bad?" She asked.

Luna relented, digging her head into her sister's coat for warmth. "I suppose it...could be worse."

Celestia, in such a motherly way, leaned over and gave Luna a kiss on the forehead.

"Goodnight Woona."

"Goodnight Tia."

Luna fell asleep first. Celestia looked down at her sister's sleeping form.

She closed her eyes and rested her head on the cold stone floor. It was as though nothing had changed over the last twelve hundred years.

"You'll never know just how much I missed you Luna. I promise, this time, we will make it work."

The two slept until the early morning hours. Luna was the first to awaken.

Her sister was as she had been, holding the purple alicorn close to her.

Luna smiled. She slipped out of her sister's warm grip, and felt the blistering cold immediately.

Her stomach was still in a knot over the punishment that awaited her in Canterlot. But at least now, she wasn't facing it alone.

For once, it seemed, things were looking up for little Luna.

She turned away from her sister and gasped.

Nightmare Moon sat a good ten feet away, staring at the two.

Luna was frightened. She knew that Nightmare's feelings toward Celestia were less than friendly. And that the demon could take her body over at any time.

But the look on Nightmare's face was not one of anger or hatred.

"Are you awake?" She asked.

Luna nodded slowly. "Yes."

Nightmare Moon got up and slowly trotted forward. She sat down closer to Luna.

"All this time, as I tormented you, I thought that deep down, you wanted to be me again. That you yearned for it. That you could not find happiness without it."

Luna opened her mouth to protest this idea. Nightmare raised a hoof.

"I can now see. You are happy. You are happy being a simple princess."

Luna's mouth gaped. She could see guilt on the face of the night demon.

"Art thou...apologizing?"

Nightmare Moon smirked uncomfortably. "I'm trying to."

Luna lowered her head. "Thank you."

Nightmare Moon shook her head. "There is nothing to thank me for Luna. I have done nothing deserving of thanks."

"Well I thank you anyway." Luna said happily. "Will you be going then?"

Nightmare sighed. "It...it isn't that simple."

Luna's expression hardened. "What?"

"It isn't that simple. I am not a figment of your imagination. I am a living part of you. An idea. I cannot simply leave, not without you letting me back in. Which I am already aware you do not want me to do..."

"So then how do I rid myself of you?" Luna asked, pausing to realize the hurtfulness of her words. Nightmare Moon seemed unaffected.

"There is a mountain. To the west of Canterlot. A good day's journey from here. Upon it's zenith is a fountain. The Fountain of Lost Spirits. If I were to be taken there, I would be consumed by it's waters, and destroyed. And you would be able to return, free of my torture."

Luna frowned. "How do I know you speak the truth?"

Nightmare looked into Luna's eyes. "I am you. You are me. You know when you're lying. Look into my eyes and tell me if I'm lying."

She looked deep into the cat-like eyes of her idea.

"I promise, when we arrive at the fountain, you will be freed of me. Once and for all."

Luna looked at her expression. It appeared dead serious. Her face betrayed the fact that the night demon was obviously trying to hide her emotions. Guilt and remorse wracked her features.

"Okay. I'll just tell Tia..."

"I wouldn't recommend it." Nightmare said.

"Why?" Luna asked, raising her eyebrow with suspicion.

"Well you can if you want to. But as I recall, she has a job to do. She has to bring you back to face judgment in Canterlot. She won't like the idea of you picking up and leaving because your 'imaginary friend' told you to."

Luna looked at Celestia's still form. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Nightmare Moon was right.

She would have to betray her sister one last time.

"I'm so sorry Celestia. I promise, once this is resolved, we can be sisters again. But not yet."

She kissed her older sister on the head. Then she backed away. "She will think I am running."

"She may think as she pleases. As long as you turn yourself in to her immediately after my departure, I'm certain she'll understand."

Luna smiled. This night demon had more of her in it than she thought. She had even said something positive about Celestia. What a transition from days ago.

"Alright. Show me the way, fair spirit."

Celestia slept late. She had spent an entire day searching for her sister, and it had drained the mighty princess. She was awakened only by the jabbing of a hoof in her ribs.

"My princess?" A familiar voice called out.

Celestia yawned, rubbed the sleep from her eyes and looked around.

Porthos stood before her.

"Good morning Princess Celestia." The captain of the guard said cheerfully. "You had us worried back at the palace. Flying off like that."

Celestia looked around. "Where is Luna?"

"Pardon?"

"Where is my sister?!" Celestia demanded, her eyes widening in alarm.

"Well...I don't know. I only just found you. She wasn't here."

Celestia facehoofed. "Oh Luna."

"Madame, did you find her?"

"Yes. And I thought I had connected with her. I was wrong."

"Should we assemble search parties...?"

"No. The representative will be arriving at the palace soon. Return there and greet him. I will continue searching for my sister."

Porthos frowned. "You do not wish for me to assist you?"

Celestia shook her head. "No. I trust you Porthos. That's why I need you to hold down the palace while I'm gone."

Porthos nodded. He reluctantly extended his wings, and fluttered off.

Celestia took a deep, angry breath. "Okay Luna. I tried loving you. That did not work. Now I will hunt you."