Previous Chapters Next
Close
Author's Message1 words
Chapter I: Better Place1,862 words
Chapter II: Mess of Me1,890 words
Chapter III: My Little Secret1,902 words
Chapter IV: I'm Not Okay1,340 words
Chapter V: Buried Alive3,402 words
Chapter VI: Let It Burn2,125 words
Epilogue: Sacred449 words

Chapter IV: I'm Not Okay

"Sunset Shimmer!" Wallflower exclaimed, quickly setting the razor blade aside and forcing a smile. "N- nice to see you! S- sorry, I didn't h- hear you c- come in!"

Sunset was still in disbelief at what she was seeing. She knew that something was wrong with her friend, but she certainly wasn't expecting something so extreme. Without thinking twice, she turned around and ran towards the bathroom. Once inside, she started searching through the drawers under the sink. She eventually stumbled upon a large plastic bag containing gauze pads, gauze tape, cotton balls, and a bottle of hydrogen peroxide. After quickly washing her hands and grabbing a box of tissues, she bolted back to Wallflower's room and seated herself on the bed. Ripping open the bag, she pulled out all its contents.

"What are you doing, Sunset?" Wallflower asked, a look of worry on her face. Sunset stared at her in shock.

"What am I doing?! WHAT AM I DOING?!?! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!" she shot back, pouring peroxide on a cotton ball.

"No, please! Don't touch me!" Wallflower begged, leaning against the wall. Sunset reached out and grabbed her hand.

"Stop it! Hold still!" she demanded, rubbing Wallflower's arm with the peroxide-soaked cotton ball.

She was a bit surprised that Wallflower wasn't wincing in pain as the chemical came into contact with the cuts on her arm. Once she finished, she moved onto treating the small cut on her other arm, then crumpled up the cotton ball in a few tissues and threw it into the small trash can next to the nightstand. She opened the box of gauze pads and removed four from the little wrappers. Pressing one against Wallflower's arm, she ripped off a piece of gauze tape and placed it over the pad, securing it in place. After following suit with the remaining three pads, she placed everything back into the plastic bag. Letting out a long sigh, she turned to face Wallflower who now had tears forming in her eyes.

"Okay," Sunset began. "What the heck were you thinking?!"

She wasn't expecting an answer since what she had just witnessed her friend doing was enough of one. Wallflower closed her eyes tightly as a tear ran down her face. Letting her emotions simmer down, Sunset placed her hand on the green-haired girl's shoulder.

"Are you okay?" she asked gently.

"Huh?" Wallflower asked, putting on a fake smile again. "O- of course! Why wouldn't I be?"

Sunset simply stared at her. Giving in, Wallflower let out a long sigh and lowered her head. She didn't need to answer because Sunset could read plain as day what her friend's body language was saying: "I'm not okay."

"You have depression, don't you?" Sunset asked.

No! You stupid idiot! she scolded herself in her mind. That was way too abrupt!

Wallflower shook her head.

"No, of course not," she lied, looking back at Sunset.

Sunset raised an eyebrow in slight frustration, but she made sure not to lose her cool.

"How long have you been like this?" she asked, feeling her heart rate increasing. Wallflower didn't answer. Instead, she closed her eyes tightly and buried her face in her legs.

"Wallflower, please look at me. How long have you been like this?"

Wallflower didn't budge.

"Please," she encouraged gently. "Just look at me. I'm not angry."

Wallflower lifted her face out of her legs.

"Why should I tell you?" she said. "I don't need you worrying about me."

Sunset took a deep breath and looked her friend in the eye.

"Just tell me," she said calmly. "How long?"

"It doesn't matter. Nothing I do matters," Wallflower said.

"Here," Sunset said as she handed over the tissue box.

"Th- thanks," Wallflower said, wiping her eyes and blowing her nose. "I- I-"

"It's alright. I'm here," Sunset said, pulling her friend into a hug.

"Why are you doing this?" Wallflower asked, her voice still shaking.

"You're my friend, that's why," Sunset said. "And I want to help you."

Wallflower pulled herself out of Sunset's arms.

"Please stop. I don't want you to help me."

Sunset was horrified.

"What?! Wallflower, I can't ignore this! Let me help you!"

Wallflower shook her head.

"No! I don't need people wasting their time with me. That's why I've been skipping classes and why I keep running late."

"But why were you cutting your arms?" Sunset asked.

"It..." Wallflower began. "It makes me feel..."

"'Feel' what?" Sunset asked, her heart beating rapidly.

"Never mind," Wallflower said, burying her face in her legs again.

"How long have you been doing that?"

Wallflower said nothing but just shook her head.

"Why didn't you tell anybody about this?" Sunset asked.

"I already told you; I don't want anyone wasting their time with me," Wallflower said.

"Wallflower," Sunset began. "That's not even remotely tr-"

"Stop," Wallflower said, cutting her friend off. "Please... just leave. I want to be alone."

Sunset shook her head.

"I'm not leaving you like this," she said.

"Quit it!" Wallflower cried. "Just having to be around people every day is horrible enough, but the incident with the Memory Stone? That was the icing on the cake. I weigh down everybody I meet. So why bother going to school? Why bother talking to anyone?"

"That's not true!" Sunset exclaimed. "You don't weigh anybody down!"

"Yes, I do," Wallflower said. "Please... stop this. You of all people should know that I don't like confrontation."

Sunset was about to say something else, but she stopped herself. She let out a long sigh, stood up and reluctantly walked towards the door.

"Wait," Wallflower said. Sunset turned back to her friend.

"Please don't tell anybody else," she said.

"Wallflower, you know I don't like keeping secrets. Especially when it involves something as serious as this."

"Please," Wallflower begged. "Please don't tell."

Sunset pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed.

"If you promise to tell someone yourself," she began. "I won't say a word, okay?"

Wallflower nodded slowly.

"And FYI, I'm checking on you tomorrow, okay?" Sunset said.

"O- okay," Wallflower said.

Partially satisfied, Sunset walked back down the hallway and down the stairs. Quickly slipping her shoes and windbreaker back on, she walked out the front door. The rain was still pounding the ground, but she didn't care. She walked back down the concrete steps and onto the curb.

'Don't tell anyone else,' she says. she thought, shaking her head. Yeah, that is not happening. I have to help her. No, WE have to help her. The girls need to know.

Looking down the street, she was relieved to see that the taxi was still sitting by the corner. She walked up to the car, opened the door, and got in.

"You good?" the driver asked.

"Y- yeah, thanks," Sunset said. "Sorry for making you wait so long."

"Eh, no worries," the driver replied.

"Cool. I'd like to go home now. My address is 354 Bridle Avenue."

"Alright," the driver answered as the taxi began to accelerate down the street. Sunset gazed out the window and watched the rain fall, completely lost in thought.

"Thanks for the ride," Sunset said, handing the driver $30. "You can keep the change."

"No problem, miss. Have a good evening," the driver replied before pulling away.

Yeah, sure. Sunset thought as she unlocked her front door. After what she witnessed at Wallflower's house, how could she possibly have a good evening? Closing the front door behind her, she took out her phone and shot a group text to her friends.

'Come to my house. 4:30 PM tomorrow. It's urgent!'

They all responded within minutes.

'Okay.'
'Of course, darling.'
'Sure thing.'
'You betcha!'
'I'll be there.'
'Alright.'

Just as she was about to put her phone away, she got another text from Twilight.

'Wallflower?'

Sunset answered back.

'Yes. I'll explain in detail tomorrow. Just make sure you're here.'

Twilight quickly responded.

'Got it.'

Sighing with relief, Sunset put her phone in her pocket, tossed her backpack over by her desk, and headed for the bathroom.

Author's Note:

"What makes it so hard to say, 'I'm not okay?'" -Citizen Soldier