• Published 29th Dec 2020
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If These Scars Could Speak - PanHead 537



"Those who feel the most invisible may be fighting the ugliest battles." -Citizen Soldier

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Chapter II: Mess of Me

Sunset laid awake on her bed. Rolling over onto her side, she checked the clock on the nightstand. It read 1:15 AM. Pounding a fist into the mattress, she let out a long sigh. She couldn't stop thinking about Wallflower's texts she'd received the day before. Was she getting worked up over nothing? Or was there something bigger going on?

I have to figure out why she's acting so weird. Sunset thought. I'll drive myself insane if I don't get at least some info.

Taking a deep breath to cool down her emotions, she rolled over and gazed out the window. The moon was hanging in the pitch-black sky, its gentle light beaming down on the world below. Behind it, an ocean of stars glittered like crystals in a geode. Sunset smiled.

I hope that's a sign of good things to come. she thought as she slowly drifted off to sleep.


"Alright, class," Cheerilee said, standing up from her desk. "I hope you all studied for today's test. Please make sure that all materials are off your desk except for a pencil."

Sunset glanced around the room. She was so deep in thought that she didn't hear her teacher's announcement.

"Sunset," Cheerilee called. "All materials off your desk, please."

Sunset snapped back to reality.

"Oh! Sorry, I was lost in thought for a second there," she said, setting her textbook under her chair.

Just as Cheerilee was about to start handing out the tests, the classroom door swung open. Wallflower Blush stepped into the room panting like there was no tomorrow. Her hair was messier than usual, beads of sweat were dripping down her forehead, and there were tiny bags under her eyes. Sunset raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"I'm so sorry, Ms. Cheerilee," Wallflower said, bending over and placing her hands on her thighs. "I completely lost track of time."

"Wallflower," Cheerilee said, a stern look on her face. "You're late. Again."

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again," Wallflower said quietly as she slowly made her way to her desk.

"This is the sixth time you've come to this class late," the pink-haired teacher said. "And you've said the same thing to me each time. Do you have a written excuse?"

"No, ma'am."

Cheerilee shook her head and took a deep breath to calm herself down.

"I'm getting tired of this. But since it's the end of the school year, this is the last time I'm letting you off with a warning. If this continues to happen next year, I'm going to get Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna involved. Understood?"

Wallflower nodded as Cheerilee placed the test in front of her.

Sunset rubbed her eyes in disbelief. Wallflower was usually never late to class. But after hearing Cheerilee say that it was her sixth time being late, she was at a loss for words. She shook her head slightly to recompose herself and focus on her test.

"Ms. Cheerilee?" Wallflower asked, raising her hand.

"Yes?" the teacher answered.

"May I use the restroom?" Wallflower asked, brushing hair out of her face.

Cheerilee said nothing but gave her a nod. Seeing this, Wallflower rose from her seat and walked out the door. About 15 minutes later, she returned. The teacher pinched the bridge of her nose and sighed. Sunset glanced over at Wallflower who had finally returned to her seat.

This is getting absurd. she thought. I'm definitely going to have a chat with her during the club today.

"Sunset, keep your eyes on your own test," Cheerilee said.

"Sorry, Ms. Cheerilee," Sunset replied as she turned her attention back to her test.

I'm really glad this is the last class of the day. she thought as she filled in an answer on the paper.


Sunset walked through the halls towards the school's rear exit. Her head was still spinning from what went on in Cheerilee's class.

I have to ask her about what's been going on. she thought. I just have to be calm and collected.

Pushing the rear doors open, she stepped outside and looked up at the sky. She saw big, fluffy clouds moving slowly across the sky. One cloud floated in front of the sun, casting a gray shadow over the school. Sunset took out her phone and checked her weather app.

Looks like it's going to rain this evening. she thought, slipping her phone back into her pocket. But that's not important right now. I've got bigger fish to fry.

Walking forward, her gaze fell upon the large cluster of trees and shrubbery behind the school. Finally passing into the woods, she saw a white arrow painted on one of the trees.

The garden must be this way. she thought as she continued to follow the path. Stopping for a brief moment, she gazed around the woods. The dense tree line acted like a giant umbrella during rainy days, but blocked most of the sun's light, making everything on the ground seem darker than usual.

"I'm not sure how Wallflower can manage to come through here for her club," she said, not caring if someone or something was within earshot. "This place is a little creepy even during the day."

She looked to her right and noticed another tree with an arrow painted on it. Making her way over to it, she noticed that it was pointing in the direction of a line of bushes. Sighing heavily, she began pushing through the dense vegetation with vigor. After what felt like hours, she emerged from the shrubbery and found herself at a small clearing. Taking in her surroundings, she saw a large stone structure in the center filled to the brim with flowers. Around it, three large marble-like rocks sitting near the edge of the tree line in an almost triangular pattern with perfectly placed flowerbeds in between each one. Smiling, Sunset took a deep breath. Even though Wallflower had shown her pictures, they couldn't compare to the real thing. Nearby, the club's president and her two other members, Derpy and Roseluck, were working soil around a newly planted sapling.

"Are you sure about this?" Derpy asked, giving Wallflower a quizzical look. "I thought it was supposed to be deeper in the ground."

"No, no," Wallflower said, shaking her head. "It's fine. That's normal. It's not supposed to be completely covered."

"Alright, you're the expert," Derpy said, picking up a small rake.

"What should we start on next?" Roseluck asked. Wallflower put a hand to her chin.

"Maybe we can start with- oh! Hi, Sunset!"

"Um..." Sunset said sheepishly. "Hi, Wallflower."

"Thanks for coming! I was a little worried that you'd forget," Wallflower said, giving Sunset a wink. Sunset giggled a little at her friend's joke.

"No problem. I hope I didn't interrupt anything important."

"Of course not," Wallflower said, rolling her eyes playfully. She turned to Roseluck and Derpy. "Why don't you two figure out a spot where we can plant the next flowerbed?"

"You got it," Roseluck said. Wallflower turned back to Sunset.

"And Sunset, can you grab those seed packets I have by that rock over there, please?"

"Sure," Sunset replied.

Play it cool, Sunset. she thought. Just play it cool.


Sunset and Wallflower stepped through the bushes as they began to make their way towards the school parking lot.

"You sure do love gardening, Wallflower," Sunset said, brushing dirt off her shirt. "But I think I'll need to see a chiropractor after bending over so much."

Wallflower covered her mouth and tried not to laugh.

"You get used to it after a while," she said. "I felt the same way when I first started."

"I'll bet," Sunset said, turning to look at her friend. "By the way, I wanted to ask you something."

"Sure, what is it?" Wallflower asked.

"Um... is something wrong?" Sunset asked.

"What do you mean?" Wallflower answered.

"Well..." Sunset began. "You weren't at Yearbook Club yesterday, and the girls said they haven't seen you in school for a while. Plus, you did respond extremely late to my one text. And while I appreciate the invitation, you seemed rather stoked when I asked to come today. I didn't think that much of it, though. I just assumed you were in a good mood. But today in Ms. Cheerilee's class, you came in late for the sixth time apparently, and didn't come back from the bathroom for about 15 minutes. I wanted to ask you after class, but I didn't want to jump on the subject too fast. So that's why I'm asking you now."

Wallflower crossed her arms and looked up at the sky as if she was waiting for something to fall to the ground in front of her.

"I've been skipping school because I'm dealing with... um..." she began.

"Dealing with what?" Sunset asked, a hint of worry in her voice. Wallflower cast her gaze to the sidewalk and let out a long sigh.

"I'm sorry, Sunset," she said. "I've been an absolute mess today. From skipping classes to coming in late to nearly forgetting my garden supplies... I'm all over the place."

"It's okay," Sunset said as she placed her hand on Wallflower's shoulder. "I've had days like that, too. But what are you 'dealing with' that made you miss so much school?"

Wallflower rubbed her temples before looking at Sunset.

"Personal issues."

"Oh," Sunset said. "Something happening with your parents?"

"What?!" Wallflower yelled in surprise. "No, no! My parents are fine. They're actually coming back from their anniversary trip next Saturday."

"That's nice," Sunset replied. "Well, is there something happening with somebody else in your family?"

"No," Wallflower answered as she and Sunset walked up to her car. "It's just- just that... never mind."

Sunset cleared her throat as a look of concern came over her face.

"Wallflower, are you sure you're alright? If something's bothering you, you can tell me about it. I won't make fun of you for it."

Wallflower took a deep breath as she unlocked her car.

"Maybe another time," she said. "I'm really tired, so I'm going to head home so you won't have to see this mess of me."

Sunset raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"'Mess of me?' What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh," Wallflower said, giggling to herself a little. "That's something my dad always says to cheer himself up. Whenever he's feeling down, he'll say something like that to make himself laugh and break the tension in certain situations. It always makes Mom and I laugh, too."

Sunset snickered.

"That is kind of funny. Well, I don't want to keep you, so I'll see you later."

"Bye!" Wallflower said as she backed out of her spot and drove away. Sunset quickly took out her phone and shot a text to Applejack as soon as she was sure Wallflower had turned out of the parking lot.

'You were right, AJ. She is DEFINITELY hiding something.'

It only took a couple seconds for Applejack to send her a response.

'I told you so.'

A low, distant rumble broke her train of thought. She looked up and saw a large gray cloud on the horizon.

"I think I should head home before I get rained on," she said, walking towards the curb. "I don't need a repeat of what happened last time I had to walk through a downpour."

Author's Note:

"When you keep your trauma a secret, it owns you." -Citizen Soldier

Citizen Soldier - "Mess of Me": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrltjLUIXxo