9635058 In general, you can interrupt a quote with other text using dashes between the two sections of quote. In particular, I've seen this specific usage in professionally edited fiction.
9635128 I've only seen it used when you are interrupting mid-sentence, and generally when that sentence is continued as if it wasn't interrupted. Not after a complete sentence, getting a response from that sentence, and continuing.
A more proper context to use it would be something like:
"Oh Rainbow, would you-" "NO!" "like to go to-" "Never!" "the spa with me?"
The way you did it, it stands to reason that you can have an entire conversation in one paragraph.
"Would you like to go to the spa?" - "No." - "Why not?" - "I hate it." - "Don't be like that, you'll love it!" - "Do you even know me?" - "I know you'll love it."
9635016 I figured that was probably intentional, but it *is* generally incorrect, and can be confusing if somebody doesn't know about that particular quirk of yours, so I'd recommend against it.
Those would not be brief, as I said. If one side was dong 1-2 word answers to extended questions, that conversation would actually seem pretty reasonable to me. That seems less distracting to me than stretching things out with multiple single word paragraphs. Like, when Spike said "I'm not" it was merely confirming an assertion in Starlight Glimmer's paragraph. IMO, it would have broken up the flow of thought more.
Well, it's happened twice in this chapter and 0 times in the previous so if you really find it so distracting I may as well conform to your prescriptivism. Shakes hoof in air faux-defiantly.
I beefed up the very brief one, making the implication a little more explicit.
9635245 I decided to look it up for kicks and giggles, and it seems we are both wrong. Every guide I googled has the different characters' dialogue be in separate paragraphs regardless to how it is interrupted or how short the interruption is, as apparently different paragraphs for different characters is a rigid rule that shouldn't ever be broken.
If one side was dong 1-2 word answers to extended questions,
This story is... kinda weird.
Not bad by any means, but weird.
9634663
It gets weirder!
A couple spots where you forgot to split paragraphs for dialogue, but interesting concept.
And I'm side-eyeing Shiny now....
9634906
I sometimes infix a very brief response with dashes, like
> "Like, in general, or are you asking?" - "Ummm." - "I guess that means both. Well, then…"
Does that not work for you?
9635016
Well, it doesn't work for me at least, since it's incorrect grammar.
9635058
In general, you can interrupt a quote with other text using dashes between the two sections of quote. In particular, I've seen this specific usage in professionally edited fiction.
9635128
I've only seen it used when you are interrupting mid-sentence, and generally when that sentence is continued as if it wasn't interrupted. Not after a complete sentence, getting a response from that sentence, and continuing.
A more proper context to use it would be something like:
"Oh Rainbow, would you-" "NO!" "like to go to-" "Never!" "the spa with me?"
The way you did it, it stands to reason that you can have an entire conversation in one paragraph.
"Would you like to go to the spa?" - "No." - "Why not?" - "I hate it." - "Don't be like that, you'll love it!" - "Do you even know me?" - "I know you'll love it."
9635016
I figured that was probably intentional, but it *is* generally incorrect, and can be confusing if somebody doesn't know about that particular quirk of yours, so I'd recommend against it.
9635192
Those would not be brief, as I said. If one side was dong 1-2 word answers to extended questions, that conversation would actually seem pretty reasonable to me. That seems less distracting to me than stretching things out with multiple single word paragraphs. Like, when Spike said "I'm not" it was merely confirming an assertion in Starlight Glimmer's paragraph. IMO, it would have broken up the flow of thought more.
Well, it's happened twice in this chapter and 0 times in the previous so if you really find it so distracting I may as well conform to your prescriptivism. Shakes hoof in air faux-defiantly.
I beefed up the very brief one, making the implication a little more explicit.
9635245
I decided to look it up for kicks and giggles, and it seems we are both wrong. Every guide I googled has the different characters' dialogue be in separate paragraphs regardless to how it is interrupted or how short the interruption is, as apparently different paragraphs for different characters is a rigid rule that shouldn't ever be broken.
Heh heh,"dong".