A Chained Heart.

by Norman_Steel

A Canterlot Wedding, the aftermath.

Author's note, for greater experience I reccommend to listen to this song while reading.

This is my story, a story I hope no one else lives through

When you live as long as I have and you live through all the things I have, you sometimes wish for a life like all the others. One that has, an end.

Canterlot had just gone through an unforgettable experience, a royal wedding had been about to be sabotaged by the queen of a race that fed on love, these creature were referred to as the changelings. Though Princess Celestia foresaw the danger and managed to warn Shining Armor, the captain of the royal guard, in time to raise up the barrier for protection, unknown to everypony however, one and perhaps the most dangerous of the changelings made it through. Queen Chrysalis.

Posing as the bride, she intended to absorb Shining Armor’s love for her and use its power to conquer Canterlot and feed her subjects. Unfortunately for her, Twilight Sparkle figured out her plan and by going to great lengths she managed to rescue the real bride from the crystal caverns and arrived just in time to save her brother from making the biggest mistake in his life.

Chrysalis had attained all the power she needed from Shining Armor, and even though the wedding was interrupted, the magic she absorbed was enough to defeat Princess Celestia and destroy the barrier. Unleashing the swarm of changelings on Canterlot, the elements of harmony; Canterlot’s most elite warriors that had saved the land twice using the powers of friendship, were unable to overcome the swarming numbers.

All seemed lost, but then the bride; using her powers over love, restored Shining Armor’s magic and together they created a blast that blew the creatures away from Equestria, into a land beyond the Everfree Forest. Ponies partied all night in celebration of the salvation of Canterlot, and the royal wedding.

Among those celebrating I walked, I was having a good time and it was nice having a party every once in a while. This one in particular had been planned by Pinkie Pie, the element of laughter and this party really showed it. Not as many formalities as other “parties” I attend to, yet as much fun as I was having I couldn’t take my eyes of the newlywed couple.

They looked very happy together to say the least and I felt happy for them too, but I was getting a familiar feeling inside of me I didn’t wish to feel again. It reminded me of all the terrible things I did while I was Nightmare Moon; I tried looking away from them, hoping this feeling would go away just like it normally would. But it remained and it was getting stronger with every passing second.

Jelousy.

I tried doing some of the exercises Twilight Sparkle and her friends taught me to control jealousy, but I just couldn’t hold it. I felt the feeling consuming my mind and I feared that I would succumb into Nightmare Moon again, I began running through the ponies, searching for my sister.

I needed her; I didn’t want to be evil again. I was happy here, I’m a princess and we’re a family again. I shouldn’t be jealous… I need her now before I do something I regret. I finally spied her dancing in the conga line with the elements of harmony; I ran quickly to her and told her that I needed to speak with her alone. I think she saw the urgency in my eyes since she broke the line and quickly flew away; I followed her as I ignored the voices of the elements, asking me if everything was alright.

I flew quickly behind her, at first I thought we were heading towards the palace but it soon became apparent that my sister had other plans, we were flying away of the city instead of towards it. I decided to go along with it as I was scared that any second now I would become Nightmare Moon again and that I would attack her. That's... something I never want to do again... ponies should never attack those who they care about or any other pony for that matter.

Anyway, I soon began recognizing where we were flying. One thousand years later and it was still the same as I remembered it, a small cave several miles away from Canterlot in which my sister and I would spend countless hours playing. It became a symbol of our union and our friendship. I felt very touched to say the least and I couldn't hold a tear as we landed there; many dear memories coming back to my mind as Celestia led the way into the cave. As we entered Celestia summoned an orb of light that illumanated the cave.

Unsurprisingly it was full of dust, many of our old toys were either broken or rusted. One of the few things that survived were the drawings, we always did those when we were in here and they were still on the wall. Some of them were quite funny drawings of ourselves in grassy fields, others were of us fighting Discord and others were of other ponies we knew.

"Sister, tell me what's wrong." said Celestia as I was looking at some of our works of art; however this was no time to think about them.

"Tia... I think I'm feeling jealous again." I said to her with shame, refusing to make eye contact with her. When I finally acquired to courage to look at her I saw that there was not a trace of anger or fear as I expected, instead there was small smile in her face.

"Can you tell me about it?" asked Celestia, of course I let it all out. I told her that I felt jealous when I saw Shining Armor and Mi Amore together but I didn't know why. As I told her about this, her smile began to slowly dissapear and as soon as I was done she was standing there with an expression I couldn't read. I couldn't tell if she hated me or if she was about to banish me to the moon in order to prevent another Nightmare Moon incident.

"I see, do you feel like this when you see them together or do you feel it with anypony in particular?" asked Celestia as she sat down in one of the moth eaten carpets. I pondered on her question for an instant even though I knew the answer already.

"Only when they're together sis." I said, this time I did manage to hide my shame and looked at my sister in the eyes. Sometimes it's hard, even for me to guess what goes on her head most of the time. Still, it's my sister I'm talking about and I have absolute and complete trust in her judgement.

"One last question, what else do you feel along the jealousy?" asked Celestia; I was getting impatient ot say the least and I wanted to know what her final veredict would be. Yet I knew I had to go along with this if I wanted the real answer that will finally either calm my fears or make them real.

"I feel... sad." I said as I felt some tears threatening to come out, at that moment a past memory came to my mind and nearly made me break down in front of my sister. I now knew why I felt that way... I thought I had it over control by now but it seems I don't have it. Still, I wanted to hear the answer from my sister, before I could look at her I felt a wing wrap over my body. In a comforting manner, while she did that I kept whispering to myself not to cry, but if I've learned anything from my exile is that stopping emotions isn't a smart thing to do.

And it never works.

How foolish I was, still thinking I could stop the tears forever. They came out in waterfalls, it no longer was a simple sniffing and weeping. I was crying and wailing, like an injured animal or a cub that's unable to find his parents, I let everything out on Celestia's shoulder, all the while I kept asking myself the same question. Why?

"Luna..." she said as her wing stroked me like a mother would do with her child. I felt weak, alone, unloved, it didn't matter to me that my subjects loved me, I liked their love and I appreciated it, but I wanted to feel real love. The kind of which only those married can understand, is it too much to ask perhaps? Am I being too spoiled by asking for something like that when I have so much?

"Is it not enough for me to have lost him? Is it not enough for me to be alone, crying myself to sleep every single night of those lonesome one thousand years? Is it not enough that I crave for the only thing that I can't have?" I yelled into the night, many birds and animals fled from the vicinity after hearing me scream. At that moment I had lost it, I no longer retained control of myself and I allowed my emotions to run wild; if my sister hadn't been there I would've probably gone mad again.

I've always been the weak one.... the feared one... the hated one.

"Luna... don't do this to yourself. You know I love you, I cried too in all of those nights I sent you away sister, now you have friends and ponies love you." said Celestia as she kept on stroking me, if anything that made me cry even harder.

"I don't want that kind of love, I want.... true love, somepony with whom I can have a family.... maybe have some foals. I want love sister... is that too much to ask?" I asked. to her, tears still streaming from my eyes. When I said that I saw shock fill her face, surely she must've realized by now what I meant and by now she knew whom I was thinking about.

"Luna... choosing a life partner isn't as easy as choosing a candy, there are so many things involved in it; but remember, I'll always stand by your side and I'll always want what's best for you." said Celestia as she pulled me into a hug, this was one of the few times a hug has meant so much for me. Yet even with all the support of my sister, I knew it wouldn't be enough, nothing in this world would be enough.

"I've already chosen him Tia, I chose him one thousand, three hundred and seventy three years ago." I said as I gripped her harder. I felt her tense up, she knew by now but she didn't want to admit it. I waited for some moments for her reply, but it definitely took its time.

"Luna... I... stop thinking about the past... you need to meet new stallions. I.... I miss him too, he was a dear friend but he wouldn't want you to stay like this." said Celestia in a broken voice, as I looked at her I saw some tears falling from her eyes. In no way they were more than mine, but I had only seen my sister cry two times before.

When he died... and when she sent me away...

"I can't Tia, I've tried time and time again, I just can't. My heart is chained to him, I wish only to be with him and nothing more." I said to her as tears started slowly decreasing, at last I had ran out of tears to release. Now I just kept sniffing and wimpering like a small foal, what a pathetic sight.... a princess crying...

"He's dead.... he has been dead for over one thousand years... he was married Luna... he made his choice." said Celestia with a voice that nearly made me want to cry all over again. She was hurting just by telling me this, but it was necessary... she needed to know just how much I care for him.

I was starting to feel drowsy, crying consumes great amounts of energy in everypony. Using my last shred of strength I had left, I did a spell, a basic teleportation spell and made a rainbow colored rose appear. Tia's eyes opened up in amazement as she grabbed the flower with extreme care, I was now lying down on the ground.... closing my eyes. Wishing for that I would never have.

"After all this time?" asked Celestia as she looked at me with her eyes at the brink of tears.

"Always." I said before sleeping.

---

"That's why I'm here Doctor, I feel as if I need to speak of this to somepony else." said Luna to the earth pony wearing a lab coat. He had recorded the conversation with Luna and was just looking at her with a mixed expression of pity and sadness, he paced around the room in silence for a bit.

"Are you alright Doctor? You look shaken." said Luna as she dried some tears from her eyes. The Doctor turned around with a fatherly smile and approached Luna.

"I'm fine your majesty... I was just thinking about some old days... your story isn't one I haven't heard before. I'll be glad to be of assistance your majesty." said the pony as he kneeled before her, Luna gave him a small smile as she whispered a thank you and walked to the door, before she exited the building she looked back and asked.

"Same time tomorrow?"

"Of course." said the pony as he began looking through some books, instead of leaving however Luna asked one final question.

"Do you promise?" The brown earth pony looked at her with a smile and said.

"You can trust me, I'm a doctor."

Comments

[DianaWinters]

Interesting, I'm watching you...

[TheAussieBlue]

Paranoia sense tingiling...

[NotATree]

"Is it not enough that I carve for the only thing that I can't have?"

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess that was supposed to be crave. Otherwise I like what I read.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/emoticons/shrug_Luna_apple.png

[Norman_Steel]

1056954

Thanks for pointing that out. Fixed it now.

Well, that's what happens when english is your second language. Still, I hate it when it does happen.

Thank you.