• Published 27th Mar 2019
  • 231 Views, 6 Comments

Childe Spike in the Chaos Master's Realm - MisterEdd

The Lord of Disharmony Discord rules over Equestria. Only a brave young dragon has the means to defeat him...

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Laughter rang out from within Sugarcube Corner, a sound that had been sorely missed in those parts, particularly since the disappearance of Ponyville’s resident party-planner. As Spike guzzled down his fish and vegetable broth, which was the best he’d had in a long time, he entertained the Cakes with stories of his time both in the Crystal Empire and on the road, purposefully leaving out his recent skirmish with Discord as he didn’t want the pair to worry. Besides, this was meant as a moment of levity, for old friends to reconnect and escape their worries for at least a little while. It’d been too long since Spike relaxed and allowed his mind to focus on thoughts other than knightly training or raining furious vengeance upon the Chaos King. Celestia, I need a hobby!

“So Spike,” Mrs. Cake began, “How did you and Star Swirl here meet?” She gestured towards the skull sitting atop a wooden stool. After a brief hiatus, Star Swirl had awaken, scaring the ever-loving daylights out of the shopkeepers and Spike managed to convince them that it wasn’t a threat and had, in fact, saved his life twice.

“Well it’s an embarrassing tale,” Star Swirl murmured. “Could we get another question?”

Spike snorted and licked his spoon. “Ah, come on! It wasn’t that bad!”

“Fine, fine, go ahead. Laugh at the bodily disabled.”

Drama queen. Spike thought with an eye roll as he wiped his hands. Pausing for dramatic effect, he began: “I had just made my way out of the Frozen North and was nearing Neighagra Falls when I came across a pack of…-”

“Spike…” Star Swirl interjected worriedly.

“...stray diamond dogs that were in the process of…-”

“I’m warning you…”

“...fighting over who gets first dibs…-”

“Don’t you dare…”

“...to stick their wick in his eye socket,” Spike finished with a sadistic grin. The room became deathly quiet. After all, what could be said after such a disturbing revelation? The silence was broken by a burst of air followed by a snicker-snort. They all turned to discover the source, which turned out to be Mrs. Cake herself.

“You-you mean to say that…?” She struggled between her insane cackling. “Diamond dogs wanted to...s-skull-buck you? Ha ha ha!” She banged the tabletop with one hoof, gasping out guffaws that tinted her cheeks a tomato-red. Mr. Cake looked between Spike, Mrs. Cake and Star Swirl and then wrapped a foreleg around his wife, joining in on her uproarious laughter.

“Oh yes, ha ha ha,” Star Swirl muttered dryly. “Very funny. It’s so amusing, isn’t it?”

Spike chuckled and crossed his arms. “Come on, if you can’t laugh at yourself, who can you laugh at?”

“Somepony that has it worse than me?”

After the laughter finally died down, the Cakes filled Spike in concerning the events that had since occurred in Ponyville following his absence. As it turns out, it was the second place attacked by Discord following his assault on Canterlot, as the town served as the former residence and base of operations of the Element bearers. Tourists no longer wanted anything to do with the town and merchants stopped trading altogether, fearing the wrath of the draconequus if they offered any kind of aid. As Equestria descended into madness, packs of roving thieves and brigands became more and more commonplace, leading to the construction of a protective wall and Mayor Mare organizing a volunteer militia. Ponyville, once a sunny little (for the most part) carefree town, was now a fortified settlement held captive by fear and uncertainty.

“Wow, now I see why Mayor Mare and everypony else look so...grim.”

Mr. Cake nodded gravely, “It’s a necessity that we’re constantly be on guard. When Discord’s magic changed the land, it caused the Everfree Forest to go wild, sending the creatures that live in its depths in our direction.”

“There was a timberwolf attack yesterday,” Mrs. Cake added, taking her husband’s hoof. “Two days before that, we had to fend off a rogue chimera. Time Turner was able to build a static discharge weapon but it doesn’t do much against timberwolves. He spends all day in that lab of his concocting new ways of keeping us safe. His wife and children barely see him anymore.”

"What about Sweet Apple Acres?"

"Since Applejack's disappearance, they've had to take on hired help and work harder than ever to keep us fed since nopony else will help us," Mr. Cake explained with just a hint of bitterness. "Granny Smith had to retire due to health concerns so Big Mac is pretty much running the farm."

Mrs. Cake stood up and clapped her hooves. "Well, I think that's enough of that for now. We've been yammering your ears off for hours and I'm sure you'd like to rest for the night. You can have Pinkie Pie's; after all, she's not here to use it." Spike couldn't help but notice the slight droop in her smile and voice crack when she said the mare's name. Clearly she was still upset by her friend's absence.

After saying good evening to the couple, Spike trudged up the steps and set his things down, stopping to pop his back. His eyes sorrowfully scanning the bedroom, observing how the pristine condition it was being kept in, almost as if Pinkie had never left. Mrs. Cake probably cleans up in here. She was like a daughter to the two and I'm sure they're broken up about her. He sat on the edge of the bed and placed Star Swirl beside him.

"I've never met any of your friends but from what you've told me, they must've been real special."

Spike nodded and a light smile touched his lips. “You have no idea. I remember the first time Twi and I came to Ponyville. Pinkie Pie went out of her way to throw us a party, even though she barely knew us. Fluttershy was so timid but sweet and Rainbow Dash was stoked to have new friends to pal around with. And then were was Rarity…”

His smile dropped. Memories of better days flashed inside his mind, every moment he’d spent with the white unicorn flowing like a leaky faucet. He remembering their gem-hunting expeditions, helping her in the boutique and just walking around town, enjoying each other’s company. What had started out as an innocent crush blossomed into so much more. There were many times in which he wanted to confess his feelings but never worked up the courage to follow through with it. Now I’ll probably never get the chance.

Star Swirl remained quiet and Spike was grateful for that. Despite how close friends the two had become, there were just some things that he didn't talk about and the skull was completely understanding. Setting Star Swirl onto the nightstand, Spike changed out of his armor and laid on top of the covers with his blanket, unwilling to completely disturb its current condition. Something rested on his knee and he nearly leapt out of bed. A small, big-eyed reptile sat watching him, his head curiously tilted to the side.


The alligator slowly blinked and then rotated in place, kneading at the blanket until he was comfortable enough and laid down. Spike chuckled and reached over to scratch beneath Gummy's chin, which earned him a light rumbling purr. Everypony thought that the alligator was just like any other lizard and Pinkie was just being Pinkie. However, if you were perceptive, then you’d notice the minute expressions and tics that told you that Gummy was actually quite intelligent. Right now, the sagging tail, half-lidded eyes and clamped jaws signaled to Spike that he missed his owner.

“Yeah...me too, buddy. I miss her too.” He placed his arms beneath his head and sighed. “I miss all of you girls. Good night Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie Pie and Rarity.” I'll save all of you and put things right. I promise.

“As you can see, he rests in his friend’s room. The dragon now wallows in his own gloom.”

The mirror’s surface revealed the image of a depressed Spike and his attempt to unsuccessfully lose himself in the blissfulness of sleep. There was a swirling array of light and Zecora’s face once more came into view. “Your evil plan has taken root. The tree of pain bears the most bitter of fruit. Now that Spike is at his low, how will you take advantage of his woe?”

Discord reclined upon his throne with a chocolate milkshake as two alicorns begrudgingly fanned him off with oversized leaves, garbed in matching metal bikinis and chained to the dais via chain leashes. After keeping Celestia and Luna trapped inside stone, he decided to put them to work as his handmaidens, feeding him grapes, massaging his knobby knees, making him towering swiss cheese sandwiches on rye. There was nothing more pleasurable to him than seeing the snobby princesses brought down to the level of servitude. Every now and then, he’d catch either one or both of them shooting him a death glare but he chose to ignore them. Without their horns or the Elements of Harmony, what sort of threat did they serve?

Finishing his glass, Discord chucked it behind him, where it detonated in a fiery explosion before combing his goatee. "For the moment? Nothing."

Zecora stared at him. “‘Nothing?’ You toy with the dragon and try to put him in the grave. What plan do you have for him, you chimeric knave?”

Discord lazily shrugged. “Insult me all you want but I’m still here and you’re in there. As for the dragon? I’ll get back to him soon enough.” He caught Celestia scowling at him and grinned. “Is something amiss, my dear?”

“No, Your Most Chaoticness,” Celestia replied through gritted teeth.

“Are you quite certain? I can’t help but feel as though you’re upset with me.”

Luna instead growled, "Thou shall not harm a single scale on Spike's head!"

Zecora and Celestia's eyes frightfully shot over to Discord The draconequus was filing his talons with a cheese grater. “And, um...what are you going to do about it?”

Luna opened her mouth and then promptly shut it.

“That’s what I thought,” Discord stated. “You princesses talk a big game but in the end, you’re just silly foals playing dress-up in your mommy’s clothing.” He then turned his attention back towards Zecora. “To answer your question, I’m letting him rest a bit before the game resumes. He’ll be looking for me, peering around every corner waiting for me to make a move. Why not let him stew a bit in that fear, let the paranoia consume him? It’s more fun that way.”

Celestia dropped to the floor to lay prostrate at Discord’s feet. “Please, I’m begging you, Discord. Do what you want with me but leave Spike alone.” Tears streamed down her ivory cheeks. “Please.”

Discord smiled sardonically. “Oh, the love that one has for their child, be they real or adopted.” He then tapped his chin with an eagle’s talon. “How about...NOT?!” He raised her chin up with his paw and leaned in close, their mouths only inches away. “Still, I love the way you grovel, Celestia. It suits you.” He traced the contours of her face with his talon. "You know, I've always found you beautiful."

Celestia wrenched her face away and lay shivering on the floor. Meanwhile, a red-faced Luna thrashed angrily at her chains. "Don't touch my sister! Don't you ever touch her!"

Discord frowned and snapped his fingers, transforming Luna into a blue puppy. "If you're going to behave like a dog then that's what you'll be. I mean, you've always been a bit of a bitch."

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