• Published 11th Feb 2019
  • 292 Views, 4 Comments

Bit's of Tomorrow's Future - No one is home

The Horse With No Name died a long time ago... The ashen waste survived him...

  • ...

Things happen, and Also Stuff...

“Okay, so if’n I understand this right,” Applebloom reasoned as she watched the filme unfold, “Sweetie Belle is a robot, and she married a wind up changeling clown, and the the other robot going to school is her daughter?”

“Hey! I’m not a robot!” Sweeties passionate plea was ignored.

“That’s about as far as we understand it.” Sandbar nodded.

“Don’t forget No Name!” Yona loudly interjected. “Pony talks with snake! That are in his mouth. Yona is not sure why…”

“Some of us are TRYING to pay attention!” Smolder fumed. “You know there’s gonna be a test, right?”

“Oh come on, the only question on every test is ‘What is your favorite ice cream?’” Galus retorted with a snort.

“And I’m gonna get that question right this ti…” Smolder was suddenly interupted.


“Ah, there’s the big guy.” Galus smirked.


“You know what my problem is?” A petulant snake spoke from the giant ponies mouth as he led his two young wards out of the village.

“You make diplomatic decisions after drinking three gallons of beer distilled from local irradiated beets?” The clown face, insectile unicorn colt replied dryly.

“I care to much!” The snake-tongued giant slurred as he swaggered.

“It is a terrible burden to bear..” The small metal filly patted the giant gently on the head from her perch upon his shoulder. “I too find my abundance of empathy troubling my functions.”

“You guys just blew up the town bar in a bar fight.” The Slapstick fumed. “That literally just happened. Hell! The big guy’s still drunk! And your biggest collective problems are… you know what… fine! You care too much… it’s not lack of impulse control, violent tempers, or a frightening disregard for innocent bystanders in the line of fire… you two just care… just too much…”

“Sweetie Belle gets to be a robot and have her own pet giant monster, in this movie? What gives?!?!” Scootaloo fumed at the screen.

“I’m not a robot!” Sweetie huffed.

“And I think No Name is more like her dad,” Silverstream mused thoughtfully, “or maybe her uncle? Big brother? They have a weird chemistry, it’s hard to tell what they’re exact relationship is…it’s weird.”

“If it helps, Scoots,” Galus smiled wickedly, “Sweetie Bot’s giant monster is a bit of a drunk.”

“Dammit, that actually somehow makes him a cooler big-brother-uncle-giant-monster! Because now he’s a bad influence!” Scootaloo fumed.

“So Robot-Me has her own Giant-Monster-Rainbow-Dash?” Sweetie smiled brightly. “Neat.”

“Stahp it, already!” Smolder growled, “You’re making me miss the random transitions!”


“I guess we we have you to thank for not being run out of town, Slappy,” No Name smiled solemnly, only to notice the scowl on the face of his old friend.

“Is that what you think?” The Mirage Born stallion scowled fiercely. “I told them the truth, like I should have from the beginning. I’m tired of keeping your secrets. I told the Queen everything I’ve been holding back all these years since you left me here!”

“You… told her about Sunrise?” The beast staggered back a step.

“Is that what you think is the worst of it?!?!” The stallion screamed in the face of the giant. “Do you even know how many years it’s been since you left? Do you have any idea? It’s not even real for you! You just wander off and it’s on to the next town, and the next! Do you know how many years we hunted the circus together??? No, I told her to drive you to the farthest corner of the waste and never let you back in. You have no idea what’s it’s like to be a part of anything anymore… and little Bullette never did. The pony that died was a friend of mine. He was gonna bring his kids around next week for a birthday party, but that wasn’t even going to be your problem, because you and your little killing machine wouldn’t be back this way for… what… years? Decades? Do you even know the difference anymore? Queen Longshot had other plans though. She’s not going to banish you, she’s going to make you stay. Make you live with what you did for once…”


“Wait, what happened, again?” Apple Bloom asked quizically, “There was clearly a missing scene there.”

“Sorry, I have to keep it PG-13, Twilight’s orders,” Dicord grinned as he addressed the audience, “We can all agree that the CMC are about 13-ish right?”

“We’re sittin’ right here, anyone in this class-room could just ask how old we are, ya know?” Apple Bloom pointed out the obvious.

“Keep it down!” Smolder snapped, “Their back at the school with the other robot filly!”


“So, truth or dare,” The pink mutant that was Diane flashed a shark-toothed grin at her pajama-clad so-conspirators, “Z! How many sweet weapons-systems do you have stashed away in that adorable metal chassis of yours?”

“I am 97% sure this is not how this game works!” The mechanical school pony pouted.

“I want to know this too!” Blood orchid giggled and picked her well pedicured, taloned feet.

“I don’t do guns,” Z heaved a heavy sigh, before sitting up slightly straighter, “guns were mom’s thing. I am a LeFaux, and magic runs through my very blood! Or… sap… I mean… lubricants… Stop looking at me like that! I. Am. Not. A. Robot!”


“Okay you can’t just show a test pattern with the words, ‘Scene Missing’ and call it a scene transition!” Sandbar stood up in livid objection.

“It worked for ‘Planet Terror’,” Discord replied with a roll of his eyes.

“Did it, really though?” It Surprised no creature that Pinkie was sitting behind their “professor” casually munching popcorn.