Failing Firmaments

by MidKnight Erratum

Chapter 8: The Darkest Hour

Author's Note:

Celestial Prologue 1:

Celestia sat upon a crumbling throne. The dim light fading from the precipice of the horizon, as the world continued to fall apart around her. The bags weighing down her sleepless eyes the only darkness that compared to the on-setting of the cruel night. She should've handled the problem herself. The tragedy should have ended days ago. Yet, she kept distracting herself from dealing with it, even as the ash continued to pile up against the tainted glass of the hollow hall's windows. Perhaps her failure would lead to yet another being added to the memorial of catastrophes passed.
Yet the heroes were unwilling to fight for survival.
She watched the sunlight fall, and the moon rise to her reluctant whims, as yet more ash gathered in the burning world around her.
Luna was gone, leaving Celestia to an eternal lonesome remorse. To which she could never be freed, lest time's racing tracks be cut short. The night brought with it renewed sadness at the loss of Luna. The sister she had failed to save from the darkness, and now...

The dying world was all she had left to salvage, of Celestia's past mistakes.

The Darkest Hour

Twilight was filled with joy.

She had found happiness once more...

The warmth of the bath was soothing, as she lay there releasing her anguish. Washing the blood on her hooves from past sins down the drain. As she watched the inky black tendrils slither from her open flesh. She had been careful enough to not inflict severe damage upon herself, but the pain burned. Filling her cold heart with strength once more. It was pleasing to the sting, as she let the darkness drain from her. How silly she had been when she'd started, timid and shy to the knife's gentle edge. Testing the cool blade with hesitation at first. Before relishing in it's forsaken freedom.

What had she been afraid of?

This was liberation to her dying soul, to assure herself that she was still alive.

Despite the darkness ebbing through her veins. She would let the warmth drain from her until the darkness was all gone. Or until it was all that remained. Twilight leaned against the frigid basin's walls, as she gazed lifeless up at the ceiling for what felt like an eternity. It felt so good, to live on the edge. Mere thoughts away from death's door, yet clinging to life like the insolent foal she was. Perhaps fate was a cruelty to tempt, but in this moment of hollow exaltation Twilight enjoyed her dominion. She was now in control, in this moment, free to the whims of her desires.

Too bad this moment couldn't last forever...

Or maybe it could?.....

No.......

No, this was enough...

For now...

Twilight closed her eyes, she could feel the sting warring off, the numbness was returning. And she embraced it welcomingly. Slowly rising from the water, pulling the blockage from the drain. Watching as the murky mirth washed away. Leaving only the sting of numb cold regrets, as the frozen air wove itself around her body.

Twilight swayed slightly, as she climbed from the tub. She felt tired, but managed to stave off the exhaustion eating at her insides, as she dried herself. Taking care to be gentle with the cuts on her forehooves, careful to not cause further bleeding. Twilight felt light headed, as she left the room, to find the night had come upon the town outside. She tiptoed her way drunkenly elated up the stairs to the bedroom. Leaning to the wall for support whenever her mind started to spin too quickly. Keeping to the shadows, to hide her secret transgression from being discovered.

She lit her horn with a small glow, as she crept as quietly as she could to the closet. Finding a fresh sweater to wear, a dark grey, perhaps brown or black. She couldn't tell in the dim light. All she cared for was whether or not it would hide her pain from everypony else. Especially Spike.

How hurt he would be, to uncover our secret misdemeanor...

Oh, yes... What would Spike say if he uncovered our newfound hobby of carving our flesh?...

How disappointed he would be, indeed...

The thought taunted her mind, as she wished the voices could have been drained with her blood. Too bad the pain was all but a sedative to their incessant whining. Twilight knew it was wrong. In her logical mind hurting herself made no sense, but it had felt good. For the first time, something she did felt right. Even if it was so very, very wrong.

Twilight felt the nervous giddy wrapped around her at the thought of the cutting joy she'd experienced. Perhaps she would relish its liberation tomorrow, and the next day. On and on forever, until she died at the hands of Celestia's mercy.

But that day won't come soon enough...

Twilight turned, relinquishing to the arms of sleep. As she stepped towards the bed in dizzy euphoria. Readily collapsing into it's-Twilight turned from the closet to find Pinkie Pie standing between her and the respite of her bed. The shadows of the moonlight cast upon her downcast emotions. Her hair flowing downwards in a chaotic mess of tangled deflation. That met the stained wooden floor with confetti teardrops that glittered in the moonlight. Yet Pinkamena's gaze was steadfast and steeled with determination. Sharply popping Twilight's languid calm like a party balloon of sudden surprise.

Twilight visibly jumped out of her skin, flailing as she fell backwards over herself, at the unexpected intervention. Twilight winced with the delightful fresh pain, hugging her forehooves closer, as she lay curled on the floor. Soothing the fresh stings under cotton sleeves, as Pinkamena loomed over her.

"Twilight, can we talk?" Her voice inquired in a low confrontational fringed frown. Commanding and direct. Nonnegotiable.

"No," Twilight hissed, turning away from the faded pink party pony.

"Leave me alone, it's late. And I don't want you to wake Spike..." Twilight made up an excuse on the fly, briefly dropping her gaze to the woven basket bed that lay beyond Pinkie. It was empty. The blanket torn away, gone with no telling of where the little dragon was.

"What? Where?... Where's Spike?!" Twilight's voice was growing in volume, as her heart quickened, threatening to throw her mind into a panicked frenzy.

"He's fine," Pinkie responded calmly, "I convinced him to go help Fluttershy with her scared animals. Since the doctor said she should take it easy for a few days... He'll be sleeping over there for tonight, and possibly for longer."

"WHAT?! Why?!" Twilight exclaimed, pushing herself from the ground. To challenge Pinkamena's stature with her own.

"Because, he doesn't deserve to see you like this..." Pinkie replied somberly, hitting Twilight's guard with a blunt collision of sound logic. It pained her heart, and made Twilight almost wish she hadn't left the knife so carelessly in the bathroom. So she could drive it into her aching heart, instead. Pinkie placed a hoof on her shoulder, trying to comfort her, but Twilight pushed it away in abstinent annoyance.

"You need help, Twi-"

"No! No, I DON'T!" Twilight insisted threateningly. "I'm.... FINE."

"Twi-"

"Don't touch me," Twilight seethed, pushing Pinkie's embrace away, once more. She couldn't stand the tone in Pinkie's voice. She didn't want to be babied, she didn't want Pinkie's empathy. Twilight just wanted to be alone. She wanted to sleep, and sleep forever. Forget the world, and the world would forget her. Why couldn't she ever have what she wanted?

Who did Pinkie think she was, how could she possibly know anything?

"Twi-" Pinkie tried to interject. With that pitiful remorse that Twilight wouldn't accept.

"GO AWAY!" Twilight finally screamed, letting every ounce of anger flow. Her gaze turning to a glare as Pinkamena lingered like an unwanted ghost.

"I don't need HELP, especially not from YOU, I need SLEEP! It's LATE, and you're intruding on MY house, in MY room..." Twilight ranted, barring the fangs of hatred as she continued her tirade. Pinkie opened her mouth as if to say something, but Twilight wouldn't hear it. She had had enough of this Pinkamena's pity party.

"I'm going to SLEEP, and you can't stop ME! I've had enough of YOU, and your silly stupid shenanigans. You've already dragged ME halfway up a BUCKING MOUNTAIN and back from CELESTIA knows where today! I JUST WANT A DAMN BREAK FROM YOU! Your BUCKING FANTASTIC failing attempts at 'Making things Right!' Just LEAVE ME ALONE, GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, AND LET ME HAVE MY TARTARUS FORSAKEN SLEEP!!!!!" Twilight seethed, glaring maniacally at Pinkie, who for her credit, stood her ground. Somehow managing not to cower and quake in fear. Yet flinched ever so slightly at every spatten word. Refusing to meet Twilight's fierce gaze.

Twilight was going to get her to leave, even if she had to remove her by force. Twilight lit her horn, and saw immediate fear in Pinkie's eyes, but only for an instant. Twilight entrapped the pink mare in her grasp before Pinkie could escape, beginning to drag her towards the door, but the magic blinked from existence in an instant. Twilight was dumbfounded, before trying again. To equivalent amounts of success.

"What?... Why... Why isn't my magic working?" Twilight stammered, fumbled over her words, as Pinkamena stood her ground.

"Twilight," Pinkie's soft sugar was quickly melting, running like heated frosting dripping off an ice cream cone. Growing with increased sternness, and strength. Gritting through sugar coated teeth, the question managed to crawl its way once more from the horrid mare's mouth. "Can we talk?"

Twilight tried once more to cast her magic, but found it had eluded her before her thoughts had even formed. Heaving the deepest sigh she could resist, Twilight flung herself onto her bed. Picking up a pillow in her hooves, and screaming into it's bowels all manners of atrocities, that made her happy Spike weren't here to hear them. Hoping by the time she was done, the party pony would have left, and been long gone. Leaving her to her precious dreamless sleep.

Twilight screamed, for as long as she could, until her voice cracked like glass. The silence that followed was welcoming, to Pinkie's gentle hoof that lifted the darkness of the pillow from Twilight's gaze.

"You done?" Pinkie asked.

"No..." Twilight managed to croak, and found her face kissed once more by the pillow's fluffy mass, as Pinkie dropped it into her face. Which managed to coax a coughed up laugh from the dreary pink pony. Despite Twilight's muffled surprise of indignation, having received a pillow to her face.

"Well, whenever you are, I'll be waiting here..." Pinkie's voice chirped awkwardly, mixed like cake batter between the deadpan drawl and bouncing balloons of her past happiness. As the humorous bundle of joy from the past started to drip into Pinkie's depressive facade. As small giggles started to bubble like a brook beginning to flow after years of drought.

Twilight lingered for a little while longer, taking in another breathe before rolling over, and allowing gravity to claim the pillow from her gaze. Lulling in her indolence before finally meeting Pinkie Pie's gaze. Defeated, she lay. Waiting for Pinkie to break the silence, first.

Pinkie's silence sprouted in mixed emotions, perhaps anger at Twilight. Which she felt was justly deserved, perhaps speechless anguish at another pony's loss of a long dead smile. Brutally murdered by selfish desires. Or perhaps the optimistic dreamer, Pinkie Pie herself, was lost as to what to possibly say.

Twilight could feel her patience growing thin at the crowded quiet looming between them like an awful gloom. She kept her anger at hoofs length with every additive weighty sigh she managed to summon from the bowels of her lungs. The constant reminder that she was still alive.

Why couldn't I have just died on the mountain? Would've saved everyone the heartache...

Especially ME...

Twilight caught Pinkie's eyes starting to gather collective precipitation once more, and it stung her to know she was causing Pinkie pain. Even without doing anything, simply be living, no... Just existing, or having existed, was causing pain. Twilight wished for the hundredth time she had never existed, never been born. Perhaps then the world could go on. Perhaps then the world would be happier... Even if it were just one pony more, than the rest, that could have found their happy smile.

"Twilight?" Pinkie's voice finally broke the silence, raw emotion simmering in the cracks of the word, as Twilight heaved another despairing sigh.

"What, Pinkie?..."

"Do you...?" Pinkie took a long pause, seeming to rethink the question. Or perhaps she felt she were walking on eggshells. Carefully calculating the best way to approach what a damnable lost cause of a pony Twilight had become. A mine field that with one wrong step, would send everything spiraling in a blast of futile destruction. Regardless, Pinkie seemed to be having an equivalently hard time finding the words to fill the darkness of the room as well.

Twilight's gaze shifted to the window, finding the light of the spotless moon aggressive to the darkness. As it filtered through the ash stained window pane. That scattered shadows in the dimmed luster of it's undeserved beauty. Twilight felt the bed sway, as Pinkie climbed carefully onto the end of it. Before nestling beside Twilight, forehooves snaking slowly around her to form a tight embrace. As Twilight continued to stare off into space, lost completely in the moment.

Until the warmth from Pinkie's squeezing hold, pounced upon her all at once. Having crept upon Twilight as she'd absentmindedly lay there. Actions spoke louder than any words Pinkie Pie could possibly have attempted to arrange, as Twilight felt her chest lurch. Sudden tears brimming her eyes, as she began to cry. Stiffing sobs, and pain. As Pinkie continued to listen to the unspoken words of Twilight's aching heart.

Pinkie held on, until long after Twilight's remorse had bubbled it's way to the surface. Tear stained cheeks leading to a chilling calm in the nightly darkness. Twilight felt like she needed to speak her mind, yet she found her efforts futile. As she lay, embraced in the warmth of her unrelenting friend. Whose voice struck a chord in the hallow moonlight, that surprised Twilight as it resonated gently through the library.

Was that a.... Lullaby?

Twilight tried to protest such a childish thing, but Pinkie simply hushed her before continuing. Twilight did feel awfully tired, her eyes grew heavy with the calm. As Pinkie Pie ran a hoof through Twilight's mane, with a tender care that took her back to foalhood memories. A time of childish giddies, and motherly mercies. Happier times, in which she had once had ambitious dreams, a purpose in life, and a smile. Twilight stole a final breathe from the nighttime, before relinquishing herself to the jaws of sleep. Carried away by the soft fading tones of Pinkie's lofting smile.

"Do you consider Us, friends?"

---

Deep in the woods of Everfree, trudged a stripe adorned, masked pony.

Words she spoke but very few, as she prepared for what she would do.

She had concocted a special brew, one in which she had seldom used.

A potion of dragon sneeze tree leaf stew,

upon which she knew, the smallest sniff would make the smoking beast return from whence it flew.

Once the mare had crept into view, she aimed for the dragon before she threw.

The flask of potion that splattered and spewed, as the zebra found her aim was true.

Ducking for cover as the flames blew, changing in their agitated hue.

As the dragon sneezed a hefty dew.

The smoke was snuffed as the strong scent grew, and the dragon stumbled blindly into the foggy night as it took bumbling flight. With teary eyes it bothered not to say goodbye, as it flew far away from view.

Back from whence no pony knew.

Comments

[Venerable Ro]

Huh, has Twilight picked up a rider? Seems to me that she's got more than her own thoughts rattling around up there.

[Zwillingen700]

I don't know why, but this story really makes me dislike Pinkie for some unknown reason. Great chapter, the sudden fact that Twilight carved herself hit really hard once I realized it.

[i_am_the_jam]

So Zecora is going to save the day?

And you wonder why Celestia never had a backup plan with the Royal Equestrian Airforce, or even getting rid of the dragon herself.