Chaos in Equestria (aka Pinkie Pie writes the show)

by DoctorJack230

Chapter 2 – The Apple Mafia…or, “Bah some apples or get wrecked!”

Chapter 2 – The Apple Mafia…or, “Bah some apples or get wrecked!”

Applejack had woken up ta weird days in her life. She’d run away from home as a filly ta pursue the fancy life, an’ subsequently ran back home once she realized what all of that entailed; namely the uptightness an’ really small portions. It also helped that Rainbow Dash performed her first Sonic Rainboom and showed her the way back to Ponyville. The apple farmer once worked herself half ta exhaustion because Big Macintosh injured himself, an’ over a stubborn bet. She helped save all of Equestria, twice in fact. She even had ta rebuild her farm after a parasprite infestation utterly devoured it all.

Today, however, was probably one of, if not the, weirdest. The mornin’ rooster had crowed rather loudly, an’ the sun had rose ta start her day. The first thing she had noticed as she began ta get herself up was the loud clatterin’ downstairs. Alrighty, Big Macintosh was usually up at this time so it wasn’t unusual ta hear some form of commotion. The problem was this was accompanied by a pony screamin’…loudly. A thousand horrific images caused the orange coated mare ta leap outta her bed, grab her lasso an’ race down the stairs. The image that greeted her was better then the ones racin’ through her head, but not bah much…

Applebloom had a helmet on, along with a crest with an apple being pierced by a bloody cross on the chest an’ a hot brandin’ iron in her mouth. Big Macintosh was holdin’ a colt down ta a chair, a fresh mark from the brand bein’ on his flank. “Now, yer gonna pay up ta us, or this’ll be the least of yer punishments capiche?!” The youngest Apple family member said, in a very deep growl that belied her age. Caramel was guardin’ the door an’ shinin’ an apple whilst he did so, makin’ sure that their prisoner wasn’ about ta escape. Applejack kinda recognized the prisoner; he was a dark brown colt with an hourglass cutiemark, called himself The Doctor.

“What in the name of Granny Smith’s pies are y’all doin’?!” Applejack yelled, as she tackled her little sister, wrestlin’ the hot iron from her mouth an’ dunking it inta the nearby water barrel ta cool. Big Macintosh had ta divert his attention fer two minutes ta the sudden appearance an’ subsequent action of his sister, an’ that caused the Doctor ta break out of his grip then zap Caramel with some sorta glowing device after punching him outta the way. “Thank you Miss Applejack. Ditzy, allons-y!” he said, as he burst from the farmhouse, yellin’ fer Ditzy “Derpy Hooves” Doo ta fire up somethin’ called the TARDIS….

Caramel was twitching and spazzing on the ground, so Applebloom had ta wet his face with a bucket of ice water ta snap him out of it. How did this work? Well, the sonic screwdriver only stunned him of course! The Doctor doesn’t kill anypony you silly little fillies. His face was also sportin’ a slight bruise from where the Doctor punched him. Applejack found her sis, Big Mac, an’ Caramel lookin’ at her puzzled, as though this was somethin’ normal? She was utterly mortified, to put it in Rarity’s posh language.

Anyway, a loud banging noise was heard as a door opened revealing Granny Smith. The senior member of the Apple family looked at this scene with a disapproving shake of the head. “Now, what’s all this then?” she asked rhetorically, in a most grave and decidedly un-Granny like tone. The aforementioned trio seemed to automatically straighten up when Granny Smith spoke, as if she was the head of some kind of organization. Applejack’s right eye twitched as she shook her head, tryin’ ta see if this was some sorta horrible nightmare. Any minute now the rooster would crow an’ she’d wake up ta the smell of nice homemade pancakes…with apple syrup!

Of course, there was no such luck with that. She was still starin’ at Big Macintosh in an overcoat, Applebloom in some sorta metal armor, an’ Caramel was still sportin’ a shiner. Granny Smith had on a fancy shmancy get up, tuxedo an’ everything, with a red rose on it. “Applejack, dear, what’s wrong? Y’all get up on the wrong side of the bed, sugar? Don’t y’all remember last night?” Granny Smith asked, genuinely soundin’ like herself fer a minute. Alright, it still maintained a slight rough edge, but the general tone was still there an’ kinda creepy considerin’ the circumstances. “Las’ night…? No, ah don’t. What in tarnation does that hafta do with all this?” Applejack asked, glarin’ around at all four of them. Normally her family would immediately respond, but none did; they preferred ta stare at the floor fer some reason. After a lengthy silence, Caramel raised his head ta speak when suddenly the farmhouse began being riddled up by…carrots?!

Yes, my fine fellow readers, carrots began pelting the place like so many bullets out of a Thompson Machine gun. The rest of the family hit the floor and began returning fire like it was noponies business. Granny Smith was bein’ takin’ ta safety, but poor Caramel fell over from multiple impacts. He was felled by the carrots, of course, for they were too many, too orange and full of more beta-carotene for even Caramel to handle. Of course, the carriage that had been used fer the drive-by fell back as it was fired back upon by a tree’s worth of apple seeds. “Them ugly Carrots are gonna pay fer this!” Apple Bloom shouted, rather dramatically, as she hopped into their carriage to give chase. Applejack turned ta follow as Big Macintosh made his way out, but she was stopped by Granny Smith. “Aj, hun, welcome to the family. You’ll have answers when y’all get rid of them Carrots once an’ fer all…” she said, gravely, as she handed her a shotgun. Before the confused blonde maned mare even knew what happened, she was onboard the motorized carriage; givin’ chase ta the Carrot family members.

“Does somepony wanna explain ta me jus’ what in the hay is goin’ on?” she asked around as Big Macintosh readied his apple Tommy gun. Apple Bloom, helmet and armor still on, did not answer, instead choosing to focus on driving. “An’ what in the ever livin’ name of Luna an’ Celestia happened ta the rest of the family, like Apple Fritter?” she asked the two, expectin’ no response. This managed to strike a nerve, as Apple Bloom nearly swerved off the road in response. “Applejack, the firs’ rule of the family is that we don’t talk about Apple Fritter, or what happened ta her…ever.” Big Macintosh spoke fer Apple Bloom, who seemed rather enraged by the very mention of the aforementioned Fritter an’ ordered the carriage ta go faster. Of course, the poor ponies drivin’ the thing were lashed in response an’ sped up faster then a crocodile after prey.

Alright, that was…disturbin’, but at least it was somethin’. Applejack had the misfortune of wonderin’ what was next as they kept chase of the carriage. As their carriage came alongside the Carrots’, there was a blinding flash of light…and the three, carriage included, found themselves in Canterlot. Huh, musta had a magic user with them. Musta been some powerful magic too, considerin’ they were in Canterlot an’ all. The other carriage was nowhere in sight.

“Applejack, watch the carriage. We’ll be back.” Big Macintosh drawled, gesturin’ fer Apple Bloom ta follow him, as he grabbed a really large lookin’ bat from the back. The youngest Apple Family member nodded grimly as she laid down her pistol an’ put on brass knuckles. Applejack watched the two leave in a grim silence, clutchin’ at the apple shotgun as she looked around ta get a better idea of her surroundings. Wait a minute, why’d she even HAVE an apple shotgun? What in tarnation happened last night? Why were her family actin’ so strange? WHY WAS SHE IN THE MIDDLE OF CANTERLOT?!

A loud banging noise made her jump as she was snapped out of her thoughts. She snapped up the gun just in time for, and she wasn’t making any of this up, Pinkie Pie to leap out at her wielding a knife. The gunshot fired was loud and felt like it stayed long in the air as the Pinkie Pie was blown back into the alley. She got out of the carriage and kept the gun pointed down the alleyway just in case the monster that took Pinkie’s form rose again, because that was not Pinkie Pie. She was suddenly greeted bah the sound of hooves running her way. Apple Bloom and Big Mac came around the bend, lookin’ like the devil was after them. What came around the corner shocked AJ a much as anything else today, an’ that was sayin’ somethin’.

Rainbow Dash, in Wonderbolt garb no less, looked jus’ as shocked as AJ did. . “A-AJ?! What in the hay’s going on here?!” she asked. Applejack could only blink twice and begin to think about what to do. Talkin’ ta her would probably get her into trouble, but she was just as scared looking as AJ was…then again, bes’ ta not take any chances. “Sorry about this, sugarcube…” she said, as she hit Rainbow with the butt of the rifle. She took NO pleasure in that but, if the Wonderbolts were on their case, things were gonna get real ugly real fast. The hit was enough to knock her out, but she stayed with Dash as Soarin’ came around. She gave him a slightly threatening glare, narrowin’ her eyes a bit as she hopped back into the carriage and the Apples drove off as the male ‘Bolt flew Dash ta safety.

Now their search for the Carrots coulda went on all day, an’ unfortunately…it did. So, as they had ta check inta a hotel, Applejack still had no answers as the day ended. Now, iffin’ somepony were ta look out the window late at night in Canterlot, one could probably see the wonderful night that Princess Luna had brought out. Since Applejack was the only one up due ta the confusion, she looked out the window and blinked as she thought she saw a dragon fly over Ponyville. She dismissed it as a hallucination brought on by the craziness of the day, and just flopped on the bed that she, Big Mac, an’ Apple Bloom shared. Of course, this was a nice moment with the three of them sharin’ a bed, with peaceful snores shared. Peace at last, for the moment.

~*~

Pinkie: So! How long with this last? What’s with the dragon? What happened to Rainbow Dash?! Stay Tuned…and cue the music!

Vinyl: This chapter preview brought to you by Derpy Mail. Derpy Mail, we send your mail in the general direction that you need it to go!

Octavia: …you really couldn’t have let the advertisement go, could you?

Vinyl: Heh, nope. Who do you think pays our bills? Anyway, preview music!

Dovahkiin Dovahkiin
Naal ok zin los vahriin
wah dein vokul mahfaeraak ahst vaal
ahrk fin norok paal graan
fod nust hon zindro zaan
Dovahkiin fah hin kogaan mu draal

Vinyl: And cue the end credits music!

My Little Pony,
My Little Pony
Frieeeeeennnnddds!

Octavia: Ugh…this is going to be a regular thing, isn’t it?

Pinkie: -giggles- Maayyyybeeee~ Stay tuned!

Comments

[F.Venka]

As Scootaloo would say: "I'm liking this idea!"
The interventions are done greatly, they feel very Pinkie. (Yes, just used a name as an adjective.)
The idea of making all the stories into a line, instead of just isolated from eachother, gives space for great snowballing, which is something I can totally see happen if things continue like this.
This pleases me greatly, so to speak.

Bottom line; dis gon b gud. (Sorry, no time to find the gif...)

[wolfgangleader]

NEED MOAR

[Fluffershy]

Why am I scared as hell for what's going to happen with pinkie?

[lady eclipse]

we need a 'nother chapter with the doctor coz the doctor is best pony 'nuff said

[sudofox]

I'm feelin' mighty confused as to why only the main characters know something's not right. Does Pinkie know that she is holding the lives of her friends in her hooves?

Of course she knows. Pinkie Pie is watching FOREVER.