Daybreak: The Empty Throne
Double Diamond let out an exhale that matched the engine’s last burst of steam as he brought it to a full stop at the Canterlot station. After that, he wiped his brow, threw a few final controls to start cooling the boiler, and then turned about to exit the main engine.
On glancing up, he saw a few people were already waiting for him—namely Celaeno and Limestone Pie. The former of the two looked impatient, but Limestone was frowning a little as he exited.
“You’re all back already? That was quick…”
“No, just me. Is Starlight Glimmer back?”
Celaeno shook her head. “No, not yet. Although even when she gets here-”
“What do you mean ‘just you’?” Limestone snapped, cutting him off. “Where’s my sister and the others?”
“They went on without me. They thought it was safer to send me and this train back rather than leave it behind.”
Limestone seemed to hate that answer, but Celaeno sighed. “That’s wonderful… I really needed to talk to Twilight Sparkle. Things have changed around here.”
“Huh? What do you mean?”
“Luna or Nightmare Moon or whatever she wants to call herself at the moment has gotten a bit more strict about our ‘boarding arrangements’. I might need to-”
“What are you doing here?!”
Celaeno instantly clamped her mouth shut. Limestone herself, in spite of her brash attitude, cringed and shrank at the power of the voice that echoed behind them. And Double Diamond, completely caught off guard, recoiled like a child in the act of having his hand in the cookie jar.
He could see clearly what the other two could not—Luna half-storming, half-running down the walkway to the station. Her face was a mixture of shock, fury, indignation, and even a touch of horror. Her blazing eyes glowered at him the whole way down, feeling like nails rooting him to that spot. She practically shoved Celaeno and Limestone aside as she got in his face and glowered over him.
“Why are you back here?!” she blasted in that same voice. “And why are you wearing that pendant?!”
Double Diamond was so petrified he could barely even move, let alone speak. But as Luna didn’t let up, the same terror that froze him in place eventually compelled him to reply. “Th-they…they sent m-m-me back… They went on without me…” He meekly held the pendant up to her. “Tw-Twilight g-g-gave me this to run the t-t-train…”
He shrank back as Luna snatched it from his grasp, never looking away from him. “And why did they abandon the Tiberius in the first place? This train is the only engine capable of making it to Sedes Imperii Crystal!”
“They…they had to… The…the bridge had collapsed…”
Part of Luna’s rage suddenly transitioned into surprise.
“What do you mean? What bridge?”
“The…the bridge leading up north. There was no way to move on to the track. So they had to borrow a train from that weird guy…”
The remaining anger broke. Luna’s pupils shrank.
“What ‘weird guy’?” she spoke more softly. “Describe him to me.”
“I don’t know. I didn’t get a good look at him. He just looked tall and kind of crooked. He had this weird wagon he was carting around though. Like it was being pulled by all kinds of things. I thought he was some sort of magician…”
Luna didn’t answer. Her face was blank, but she seemed to be trying to think of something or determine something. A few moments passed before she finally turned her head away.
“I made a mistake…”
Before anyone could even think of asking for more than that, she fully turned around and went back the way she came just as fast as she had come down. Faster even. The three were so immobilized by her voice and appearance that they could do little more than watch her. It wasn’t until she was out of view for several seconds that they finally broke enough to look at one another.
“What was that all about?” Limestone spoke up.
“I’ve got no idea, but I’m regretting taking this job more every minute…” Celaeno muttered back.
Luna didn’t stop until she was back in the chamber, nearly forgetting to lock herself inside in the process. She immediately went to the center and reactivated the glyph. Soon she was surrounded by the ethereal light and looking skyward again.
“I’ve made a terrible mistake. You need to redirect the three northward immediately. It’s definitely-”
“This waypoint has been decommissioned.”
Luna’s eyes widened as the voice, thundering even louder than her own powerful one, echoed back over her as the light surrounding her transitioned from blue to red.
“Wh…what?”
“A message has been recorded here for Luna’s eyes only,” the voice continued. “Identity has been confirmed.”
There was a momentary pause, before a powerful voice spoke up in a far more condemnatory tone.
“Emissary Luna…you and your older sister have already been charged with defying the order of Crystal Imperium. Recently you submitted evidence to assist with the efforts to prevent the emergence of the Angra Mainyu, but this evidence has since been concluded to have been another attempt at deception as Dulcis Machina and Sinum Currus both positively identified Emissary Celestia—who promptly attacked both and enabled Sunset Shimmer to escape.”
Luna audibly gasped on hearing that. “What…wh-”
“The Princess has concluded that you are persisting in your efforts to prevent the annexation, and as a result has decided to attend to the matter personally. She will be arriving to lead the settlement effort within the next 3 cycles.”
Luna gasped again; her face going from surprise to fear.
“At that time, you will be expected to appear before the Princess within 1 lunar cycle. Failure to appear will render you eligible for judgment upon sight. That is all.”
The voice ended, and with it the red light vanished.
Luna was left standing there as if she had just had a heart attack. Her head turned to the floor but she stared at it blankly in complete confusion. All trace of knowing what to do and what was transpiring had left her. She could only speak one phrase breathlessly.
“What is going on with this world…?”
Sunset did one last look over the controls. The sun was still up so even if she couldn’t see Canterlot directly she could see the landscape, and knew they were nearly there. The airship was cruising at a lower altitude now at a gentler pace, and all of the pressure gauge readings were normal to indicate full operation. After checking the compass and instruments for their current heading, she exhaled and stepped away. Wiping her head a little, she turned about and exited the bridge.
No one was in the hall at that point. Anyone with families were tending to them, while everyone else was sprawled out wherever there was sitting or lying room. She made her way unimpeded to the aircrew cabin area. It wasn’t the most comfortable or glamorous portion of the airship, but as it had been the closest to the entrance the wounded had been dragged in there and no one had risked moving them since.
The door was already cracked, but she pushed it open and looked inside. Several inmates were lounging or sleeping inside, including Ocellus, Smolder, and Yona. The latter was snoring rather loudly, but the other two glanced up to her. She didn’t look at them at first but instead looked to the bunk areas. Big Macintosh was on one and looking far paler and stiller than she liked, but she could barely see his chest still rising and falling. Shining Armor was on the other, and while he didn’t look as badly beat up that was purely relative. He hadn’t moved since he had been placed there.
Smolder looked at her a little wide-eyed. “Uh…shouldn’t you be driving the airship?”
“This is one of the more modern Canterlot designs. It’s rigged up so simply that it can be run with one or two people in most situations. The wind is low so our course will be steady for a few minutes at least. And because it’s a wood frame, we’re nearly to our destination.” She grimaced and motioned with her head. “How are they?”
Ocellus looked around hesitantly to Shining Armor. “Um…he…doesn’t seem as bad but he winces when you touch him in certain points, so I think he has some broken bones… As for…Big Macintosh, was it? He’s been looking worse, but…he’s still hanging on.”
Sunset sighed. “I was hoping Shining Armor would come to. He has the Role of the Healer. Now it looks like he needs one of his own… Um, listen…I know you two have been through a lot but I don’t suppose you managed to catch which one of us is ‘Stygian’, did you?”
“Oh yeah,” Smolder answered. “Scrawny kid. Kind of nerdy looking. Good with a gun?”
“That’s him. Have you seen him lately?”
Smolder smirked and let out a short laugh. Ocellus, however, looked a little fearful and drew in toward herself. “Er…not…since we left Mount Aris…”
Sunset raised an eyebrow. “Did something happen?”
“The guy just vented some major stress before he headed back…” Smolder snickered. “I guess I should’ve figured his shoestring muscles had that in him after what he did to that tin can man.”
“He, um, punched the wall before he went to the last cabin…” Ocellus answered more quietly. “Everyone was so nervous about it they just let him be, and he’s been in there ever since.”
She was left a little puzzled. “I’ll go check on him.”
Returning the way she came, she soon reentered the hall and began to walk down again. She passed by the larger, more luxury cabins as she went, and each one was filled with as many people as it could hold. In spite of their salvation, a lot of the people looked to be in low or at least anxious spirits. Each one looked up to her as she passed; clearly showing that they wanted to know if she had any more information or guidance for them. That only made her sigh as she walked on by.
But then she saw it.
Around one of the corners leading down to the engine room, a large chunk of the wall was missing. It had actually cut through one of the pipes hidden beneath it, although as it wasn’t belching steam it must have been a maintenance or support line. The metal was as thick as for the other pipes, however, and yet it looked not only dented but shorn. Considering how pristine the airship had been when they received it, she was surprised to see such a large piece of obvious damage. She thought for a moment about what kind of ordinance the Hippogriffs had been using on them and if it could have done this.
Then she remembered Smolder and Ocellus…
“No way…”
She voiced her thought aloud at that, staring at the damage, before finally looking away uncomfortably and continuing to the end of the hall.
The door at the end was shut and she couldn’t hear a sound from it. She faced it and reached up to knock, only to find herself hesitating before managing to do so.
“Stygian?”
No answer. After a few seconds, she turned the handle and slowly opened the door.
The room was completely dark on the inside—only illuminated as light from the hall spilled in. It took a moment or two of looking but eventually she could see the back of the cabin. There, crouched on the floor, facing the wall, and head bowed, was Stygian. He was so still she mistook him for part of the room at first, but when the light fully revealed him he didn’t move.
She wasn’t sure what to do next. Before she could call out again, however, she heard him take a deep breath and raise his head.
“What is it, Ms. Shimmer?”
Sunset was still unnerved, since he didn’t turn to her and was still in that position. His voice, however, sounded normal enough. After an awkward pause she responded tentatively.
“We’re…nearly back at Canterlot.”
“I see.”
She swallowed. “Stygian, I…I really…don’t like doing this to you now, but…I…I have to ask if you can see to the others getting inside. After what Cel…that woman said…I want to take the airship north to get the ladies. I…I don’t know who…I mean, even if she just popped in to save us, I think that’s enough for me to do what she said.”
A long pause.
“Very well.”
“Thank you.”
She said that almost hurriedly and started to pull back to shut the door again. However, she stopped herself. She thought of all that had happened and swallowed again. With a forceful effort, she pushed the door open a little more.
“Are…are you…alright?”
It was weak and flimsy but she did force it out. Stygian was silent for a moment before he let out a sigh.
“I’m fine. But that’s what has me upset. I’m always ‘fine’… Marble Pie died making sure we could escape, and I couldn’t protect her with cover fire. Big Macintosh is fighting for his life after my plan went wrong and I had to be rescued. Shining Armor has given me the closest thing I’ve had to order or a figurehead to look up to in years, and all I could do was watch him sacrifice himself for me. And all of that pales in complete comparison to what happened when we fled. When I saw every one of my comrades die terribly one after the other. When Little-”
She saw his hand make a fist and heard him swallow back, just barely able to hold in his composure. His head lowered again.
“I promised her I’d look after her when we were the only two survivors. Yet she ended up dying for me. I said I was her guardian, but now she’s gone and I’m still here. I have one of these emblems on my hand that says I’m supposed to be powerful and special, and yet people keep dying to keep me ‘fine’.”
Sunset grimaced. She stood there silently as Stygian concluded, still not turning to her, but eventually putting his fist on the floor. She dug her own foot into the ground, twisting the carpet a little and looking at her shoes. She bit her lip for a few seconds.
“Just…just take it easy, alright?” she finally managed to spit out. “We’ve all been through a lot. We’re all seeing more people die than we should. Don’t…don’t let it get you down.”
Stygian was silent for a few seconds before he exhaled. “…I suppose not. I’ll try.”
Sunset was quiet again. The sounds of the airship engine resonated through the walls, and the two were so silent that they seemed almost louder here than on the bridge. She stood there in the doorway awkwardly for another moment before starting to shrink back. Her hand went out to grip the handle.
“Stygian…?”
For the first time, he looked up and over his shoulder. One of his eyes met hers.
She stood there, mouth hanging slightly ajar, for several seconds. A few small noises came from her throat.
“N…nothing. Just…thank you. I really appreciate it.”
He didn’t say anything else. After staring a moment longer, he looked away again.
Sunset grimaced as she stepped back and shut the door. She began to step away from it, but paused again and looked back. In the end, she turned away again and went back to the bridge. She had to prepare for the temporary landing cycle.
It wasn’t long before what had happened at Mount Aris and what was still to come soon dominated her thoughts.
Twilight shivered despite the heat of the engine blowing over her. Even if they hadn’t been heading to such a cool place, the surroundings would still be filling her with an icy chill.
The valleys and forests of Equestria had mostly been left behind now. For the past 100 miles, the landscape had turned into something far more stark and barren—practically alien. The train tracks had taken them into one last mountain valley, but the mountains themselves grew smaller and smoother until they were little more than periodically rising slopes that faded to bluffs and hills. The vegetation gave way to a more tundra-esque setting, where there was little more than pebbles and grist instead of trees, bushes, and grasses. The sky had filled with clouds and mists that began to sweep over their path, until they were surrounded by fog that illuminated little save for the ever-diminishing hills.
By now it was quite late in the afternoon and evening was approaching, but the world was already rapidly growing dimmer and darker. And still the fog settled around them. It was cold, and yet there was neither snow nor frost. Just murky pools of collected water on top of the permafrost as they kept going northward. The track never deviated, turned, or angled. It just proceeded forward into the fog, seemingly going into it infinitely.
It was quiet. Deathly quiet. No birds or wind or sign or sound, save for the chugging of the engine. It was unsettling to Twilight, and even with Spike resting her head on her lap she felt little comfort. He seemed as uneasy as her, after all.
Exhaling a cloud of misty breath, she pulled her blanket closer around her and stood up; letting the dog disengage himself and move to one side as she rose and looked at the meters and gauges. According to the odometer, they were nearly at the end of the line by how the map went. She reluctantly looked out the sides of the train and waited. It took about five minutes, but eventually, in the midst of all of the starkness and growing darkness, she saw a sign confirming that the end of the line was soon.
She looked nearby. Rainbow Dash was the only one of the girls who had adequate experience running an engine and so she had joined her in the main compartment. Unlike her, she had managed to curl up and fall asleep a while ago. Yet even she wasn’t cutting her normal snores—indicating she was resting only lightly.
“Rainbow Dash.”
Sure enough, her eyes readily opened. “Yeah?”
“We’re almost there. We need to start slowing down.”
“Alright, alright…” she muttered quietly before she got up. Exhaling, she went up to the engine and started to manipulate it.
After assessing she was still dressed lightly, Twilight spoke up again. “You’re still not cold?”
“Eh. I’ve been in cooler places for longer. Besides…keeps me alert.” She turned to her. “You alright?”
Twilight bowed her head, staring at the ground. Like she was considering that question.
“No…I’m not alright.”
“Well, maybe Rarity’s got a spare coat in all that luggage-”
“That’s not it. It’s not the weather, it’s…it’s here. I started feeling bad before and I thought it might have been nerves or my imagination, but…”
She inhaled and exhaled.
“N…Nevermind. I’ll…I’ll go tell the others we’re almost there.”
Swallowing, and ignoring Dash’s staring at her, she turned about and started to make her way out of the engine back to the cars. She kept her head down and her eyes open as she walked, and as Spike fell in next to her he looked at her constantly. She practically didn’t even notice how wet the train had become from mist and how slippery it was to navigate, instead continuing to think and brood all the way back to the door.
Opening it up, she saw the others were gathered around in the front of the car, and they immediately looked up to her as she stepped inside. They had taken quite the “downgrade” in terms of comfort when they had moved to the new train, as the only car was a rather bare and empty one used purely for cargo, but that didn’t seem to be the only reason they were in lower spirits. None of them seemed to have been resting that much. Even Pinkie didn’t look quite as upbeat as she was normally.
“Somethin’ wrong, Twilight?” Applejack asked.
She exhaled again. “No. We’re almost there. We’ll be stopping soon.”
“Well…thank goodness,” Rarity softly answered, not sounding quite as enthusiastic as she could have. “This…wardrobe isn’t suiting me as well as I like. I dare say I feel rather uncomfortable with it.”
Fluttershy swallowed and shrank into her seat a little. “I…I don’t want to make anyone…n-n-nervous, but… I-I-I think I’m starting to get the same bad feeling Twilight has…”
The car was quiet momentarily. Everyone exchanged glances, and in doing so they realized that she wasn’t alone. They were all feeling that.
Applejack coughed. “Well…we can’t back down now. We’re almost there.”
“That’s just it… I…I don’t want to back down.”
Everyone looked to Fluttershy again at that. She looked even more anxious.
“I do want to go there. More so now than ever…but I’m also scared… I…I almost feel like I need to go there even though I’m scared. And…that scares me even more…”
“Now that you mention it…” Rarity spoke up uneasily. “I…think I feel the same thing…”
Twilight grimaced, a cold feeling sinking in her stomach. “Me…me too…”
Spike let out an uneasy whine. The girls were only able to dwell on this a second longer, however, before Pinkie bounded up—seeming to redouble her energy.
“Cheer up, everybody! We’re almost there! We’ll get the Crystal Cor, turn around, and head back home…and then I’ll throw the biggest party ever to celebrate how we snatched it out right from under King Sombra!”
There was a momentary pause, before Twilight gave a weak smile. “You know something…? I…think I’d like a party after this. We’ve all been working real hard and…it would be nice to take a little break.”
“Yeah…yeah,” Applejack chimed in with a nod, forcing a smile as well. “Then let’s mosey along and get this over with already, then turn tail and head for home. Bet ol’ Big Mac, Shining Armor, and Marble’ve got loads of stories.”
On that note, the girls picked themselves up and joined Twilight. As best as they could manage, they headed back outside and toward the train engine. By that point, the sun had lowered enough to make it even harder to see their surroundings. It wasn’t too much longer, however, before they noticed the landscape had changed.
The train was beginning to go up an incline. Very gradual, but also unnaturally perfect. More so than could be expected of any natural terrain. It was impossible to see from either side, but it seemed to stretch on forever into the mists. From what the girls could see it looked like it was almost ascending to a plateau. The only interruption in the path were the mile marker signs, and Dash continued to use them to slow the train further as they went higher.
At last, the landscape leveled out. By now, the train was only going a few kilometers per hour, and the rear car had scarcely ascended the bluff when Dash slowly brought it to a halt.
After throwing the brake, Dash let out a whistle. Twilight sighed. “Alright…let’s see where-”
She cut herself off, seeing Pinkie already merrily bounding outside.
“…we’re at.”
“Hope I can find that turnabout out here…” Dash exhaled as she hopped out after Pinkie. “As cool as it’d be to ride a train in reverse back a hundred miles, not if it doesn’t have a ‘cow catcher’ on it.”
“I wonder what this here place even looks like…” Applejack muttered as Fluttershy followed after Dash. “From that map, all I could reckon was the ocean.”
“That’s a bit odd, now that I think on it…” Rarity remarked as she followed. “Shouldn’t we be hearing some waves from this close?”
“Maybe the map was out of date,” Twilight answered as she stepped out after them with Spike trailed behind. “Or there’s a low tide. That’s even better, if you ask me. I was afraid this place might be submerged at some times of the day…”
“Tee-hee!” Pinkie called back as she stepped out. “You don’t have to worry about that, Twilight! There it is!”
She looked up, clearly surprised that Pinkie had apparently found something already—only to see the rest of the ladies were already rooted on the spot and staring open mouthed ahead of them. She only stepped another few feet from the engine before turning and looking, and promptly joined them.
From where they stood, the fog spread far and wide, and the sky—transitioning from the summer heat to the fall cold—gave an occasional drizzle mixed with flurries of snowflakes. Ahead of them, however, both the fog as well as the clouds had lifted, allowing just enough pale moonlight to stretch over the ocean beyond. Yet it was not the ocean that attracted their attention, but rather what lay on it like a mixture of ship and island.
A vast landscape, irregular and unnatural, spread before them. It had been manmade, but not by any man any of them had ever heard of. There were towers and structures clustered closer together than any cityscape of unknown and almost alien design. They vaguely seemed to form what one might call a palace or temple, yet it was impossible to say for certain. It was metal…that much was certain. Not a trace of wood, stone, brick, or concrete was to be seen anywhere. And it was dotted with lights. Thousands upon thousands of lights that neither flickered nor burned as flame.
The sky continued to part around it and spread out, as if the land itself was clearing the fog and gloom away to make itself more visible to them.
Almost like it was expecting them.
“Was…this on the map, Twilight?” Applejack asked after a long silence.
“No… I’ve never seen anything like it before in my life. Not even in any of Celestia’s books…”
“I’m…not even certain what I’m looking at,” Rarity spoke up. “Is…is this a building?”
“Or a factory?” Fluttershy suggested.
Twilight looked a little more uncomfortable. “I…think it kind of resembles the place that Starlight found.”
“Whatever it is, I don’t like it,” Applejack finally muttered, for once sounding nervous. “It ain’t right.”
Twilight exhaled. “I don’t either, so let’s hurry. Let’s get in, get out, and start heading back to Canterlot before Sombra gets here.”
“Oh, Twilight?” Pinkie suddenly asked, sounding a bit imploring. “Do you suppose that maybe…possibly…there’s just a teeny, tiny chance that there’s two different guys running around as big black clouds with big scary green and red eyes in Greater Everfree?”
Twilight turned to her; the question making her quirk an eyebrow. “Um…I’m pretty sure there aren’t. Why do you ask?”
“Because there’s one right behind us.”
The ladies only had a moment to gape on realizing what Pinkie was saying, before they snapped away from the bizarre structure and looked down the way they had come.
There he was.
The cloud had doubled in size from the largest they had ever seen it, and with it the eyes had grown likewise. Even in the mists they emerged from they looked like the vision of some hellish giant of shadow and smoke.
Yet as they stood there rooted in place, eyes wide with shock and horror, he made it worse. The black mists underneath and between the eyes seemed to grow thinner and wispier. They couldn’t tell why at first, but after a few seconds they realized something else was emerging from it. What looked like teeth. Sharp. Cruel. Bestial. An entire mouth’s worth.
And they curled into a grin.
“Of all the rotten luck…” Dash finally managed to say. “I can’t believe we got here the exact same time as him…”
That made Twilight turn a shade paler.
“What if we didn’t get here the same time as him…? What if…he knew we’d be going for the Heart…and he followed us?”
None of the ladies liked the sound of that, but all of them began to fear that was so. Their thoughts were soon interrupted, however, when the mouth-like vapor parted. A wind blew by. Hollow, deep, and resounding…but just twisted enough to where it didn’t sound like wind at all, but a voice.
“…myyyyy…cryyyyys…taaaaal…”
Fluttershy let out a panicked whimper while the others recoiled. “D-D-Did he just…t-t-talk?”
No one answered, for yet another horror soon greeted them. They began to realize they were seeing other lights around Sombra. From beneath him, within him, and spreading out to the sides and back of him. They were faint at first but soon became clearer; both from the sources coming closer as well as the mists continuing to clear. And when they realized exactly what they were, their hearts sank like stones.
“No…”
“That’s…im…impossible…”
“They can’t all be…”
Yet the lights were indeed the eyes of those controlled by Sombra. Not a hundred, or two hundred, or five hundred, or even a thousand…but thousands. Perhaps even tens of thousands. The fading mists only revealed them stretching further and further back.
Birds…beasts…insects…it was as if the entire Greater Everfree had been emptied of its remaining Nighttouched. Many were distorted and twisted beyond recognition of what their former forms had been. Yet even those were nothing compared to the horror of the countless people mingled in with them. Having adorned themselves with whatever crude weapons and armor they could find, their faces and bodies were twisted in inhuman agony and anguish until they looked like wraiths rather than men and women. As if Sombra had wrung every bit of vitality and vivacity out of them and replaced it with nothing more than his own hate and madness.
An entire army of darkness and grotesque horror was now shambling forward on whatever served for limbs. Who knew how many days or even weeks were spent gathering them, but it was clear that Sombra had not struck again until now for lack of “manpower” or strength but rather because he intended to bend his will and energy all to this one goal. Now he had brought his full force of his malevolent spirit here to crush and devour the six last roadblocks between him and his full strength.
Twilight and the ladies stood there with shaking spirits. Escape was out of the question. Even if they could get the engine running in reverse, and it somehow managed to cut through the legions, that would still serve Sombra’s same goal—leaving no opposition to him seizing the Heart.
Because of that, Twilight realized they only had one choice.
Summoning her courage was harder than ever now, for even the battle against Nightmare Moon had seemed less hopeless, but she turned and faced the others to garner their full attention.
“Everyone…this is it. We’ve got no choice now. Today, right here, is where we have to defeat Sombra.”
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Your story is amazing! Your writing is also very good! I really hope this story has a fantastic ending!
I can swear that the character arc of Sunset Shimmer in this story is definitely one of the best of all Sunset Shimmer fan stories I have seen. She has changed from a cruel female devil to a strong man who can turn the tide even though she is powerless. I was overwhelmed by her charm.
Finally caught up again after playing whack-a-mole with my Read-it-Later and Tracking lists. The past several chapters have been a wild ride! I can't believe you killed off* poor Marble!
I know it's tough to keep motivated when it doesn't seem like you're getting any traction, and I can't promise it'll get any better, so all I can say is keep up the good work cause you've got at least one faithful reader. I've seen plenty of mediocre writing on this site, and this is solidly good.
*supposedly
11561064
Just want to state for the record that I find the writing engaging, well written, and thoroughly enjoyable.
I won't even pretend to understand why stories explode on the site, while other languish. It clearly has nothing to do with talent or the caliber of the story. I have seen featured / serially featured stories that were poorly written, had serious grammar and other errors, not even remotely as engaging and yet they snagged huge viewership and features. While others that I am reading and following, this delightful story included, have not fared as well.
Don't care - featured - not featured - bazillion views and likes - I know the good stuff when I read it, and this is it.
Thanks for writing and sharing this story!
My brother turned me on to this story. Sorry was remiss - have a fav and track! Thanks!
This fic's great, its lack of attention isn't on your skill by any means. It's already hard to convince people to read a massive fic, and it just gets even harder when it's primarily based on original content instead of being a crossover with a different series or an expansion of canon or the like.
If you don't mind me making some suggestions, I think it could help this story a lot if each segment/time of day was divided into a separate fic. That way the length becomes more manageable and this series has a better chance to crop up on people's radars. Some extra tags like #sunset-shimmer and #twilight-sparkle-eqg could help as well. I only found this fic through sheer luck when it popped up on my Also Liked tab and I wasn't all too interested in it at first, both due to the size and the lack of character tags. I usually expect fics tagged with specific characters to have these characters written better than fics tagging characters as groups (like Main 6), and was really pleasantly surprised when I read this and saw that every member of the group is written well and unneglected.
But that was only because I decided to give this fic a chance, and first impressions are everything, especially in the sheer sea of competition that fanfics swim in.
Wow, now isn't this the biggest crock of bull I've ever read. My man, I don't even remember how I stumbled upon this fic, but not one day goes by that I don't regret it. As I've said before, bullshit shitty fics have been featured for bullshits reasons, so much so that I think it's rigged, but this is hands down the best fic I've read in this whole sight, it really is a travesty that so little have been exposed, and I still think a better cover art will attract a lot more people, but don't ever think it's because you're mediocre, you and your story are anything but.