13: Heisei Rider, Reiwa Rider
“Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Glamours and Glamettes, it’s that time of the day again. I’m Vignette Valencia, coming to you like from the streets of downtown Denver with a SCOOP!” Vignette proudly addressed the camera, microphone tightly locked in both of her hands. “I have with me one of the best MVPs for keeping our little city safe; a Kamen Rider!” She stepped aside, letting Adagio take up the entirety of the camera’s view.
Adagio was currently in the midst of fighting another Yummy, namely one of Gamel’s this one being based on a powerful rhino. Just barely holding back the rhino monster with the Ookamiuo Spear, she then slashed it across the chest once making it stagger back.
“Lady, do you have no sense of self-preservation?” Adagio thought kicking the monster with a powerful strike to the chest. Gamel’s yummies as Adagio very well knew were a source of trouble in more ways than one. One, they were built like tanks, and secondly, they offered only a single Cell Medal on defeat making them practically useless for farming. Adagio was starting to share Ankh’s hatred for the damn things, simply because now he always got on her case for not collecting enough Cells. And yet he very well knew this type of yummy never provided cells by the truckload.
“As we can see, our little Rider is currently locked in a vicious cycle of CQC. She’s determined to lay the FB on this SOB and take him down in a blaze of glory,” Vignette gave her commentary, watching as Adagio flipped over the Rhino’s back and dealt a palm thrust to his neck, sending the beast flying towards a car. “Oof… Let’s hope whoever owned that thing has insurance.”
“Uh, that was your car Ma’am,” Vignette’s cameraman commented.
“Yeah, but they don’t know that…” She muttered to the cameraman off-screen. “And, to be fair, if I did want the thing scrapped, it’d definitely be from a Rider battle. Anything less would be insulting.” She quickly slid back into view of the camera. “Anyways, let’s see if we can get some questions in from our fierce combatants.” Vignette looked over towards the rhino as it pulled itself out of the mess that was her car. “Sir! Or ma’am, whatever you are. How does it feel to be a monster fighting an OG Kamen Rider?”
The rhino yummy simply roared in her face, spittle flying everywhere. Adagio facepalmed before she let out a yelp of fear as she saw the rhino yummy swing a punch towards Vignette.
“Oh no you don’t!” another voice shouted before a golden phoenix made of flames swooped in and slashed up the Rhino Yummy with its talons. The monster roared out in pain from these strikes and his attention was turned towards another Rider themed after a knight with golden wing ornaments holding what looked to be a staff.
“Advent.”
Returning to his perch on the gold knight’s arm, if one looked closely you could see the phoenix rolling his eyes in disgust.
“Sword Vent.” the staff stated even as Rainbow placed the corresponding card into it.
Two of the phoenix’s wings detached and landed in the warrior’s hands with the knight scraping them up against each other creating sparks. “Let’s dance then, shall we?” the knight asked. “Sorry it took me so long Adagio, but… Traffic and all that.”
“Adagio, is it?” Vignette perked her ears up. “Ladies and Gentlemen, we have a name for one of our riders! Adagio. Remember that well, because you’ll soon be chanting it once she and her Rider friends save the day!”
“You already know my name…” Adagio muttered to herself. “You already reported it, there’s a reason half the reporters in this damn city are flocking to the aquarium’s doorstep…”
“Really Adagio, do we absolutely have to save this bimbo?” the knight-themed Rider asked, no small amount of disgust audible in her tone. “Like seriously, can’t we just let the yummies get someone just this once?”
Rainbow groaned to herself, she still had the memories of dealing with Vignette back at that Equestria-themed theme park and that was before someone got the bright idea of handing Vignette a camera crew. She grumbled something rude under her breath even as she hacked and slashed into the rhino yummy’s armor before sidestepping out of the way even as it charged her. She became a Kamen Rider to protect her sibling and those close to her, not someone like… Vignette! Truth be told, she wasn’t entirely a fan of Adagio -even if it was the human world’s counterpart- being handed Rider powers, but she would help her as long as she needed to. Element of Loyalty and all that.
“Doubting yourself, are we, Riders?” The Rhino boasted as it ran into Vignette, pulling her into a chokehold-hug. “Well, then. Guess that makes it a free kill for me. When not even the high and mighty Kamen Riders want to save a human like you, that’s what makes it all the more delicious…”
“You’re… You’re nuts! Help!” Vignette squeaked out before turning to her cameraman. “Well, why are you still standing there you dumbass? Either do two things, capture my glorious death on camera and show the world Riders won’t always help others or help me!”
Adagio facepalmed again. “You gotta be…” she thought to herself.
“Adagio, again I ask… Do we absolutely have to save her?” Rainbow grumbled. “I mean, seriously, what has she ever done for us? Aside from being a pain in the ass I mean?”
“We’ve got no choice, sadly. Those Yummies are just gonna make Gamel and the other Greeed even stronger with every Cell they collect,” Adagio twirled her weapon around avoiding naming Rainbow. The last thing she wanted was for the woman to deal with the same issues with fame that she was. She actually wanted her to have some semblance of a normal life. “And besides, aren’t superheroes supposed to save everyone and anyone, regardless of how big of a douchebag they are?”
“Fair point,” Rainbow grumbled. “Have a plan?” she asked, eyeing Vignette who the rhino yummy was clutching tightly.
“Now would be a very good time to use the Survive Mugen card, just sayin’...” Goldphoenix commented towards Rainbow. “Access all of your power, and really give that creature a thrashing.”
Needless to say, Rainbow ignored his advice. She didn’t trust her ‘companion’ in the slightest. She knew perfectly well he wasn’t offering that sort of power for any altruistic means. He had his own agenda and Rainbow wasn’t going to play his game.
“Three! Two! One!” The Rhino counted down, bearing his body for an attack that would crush Vignette’s head like a grapefruit, granting him another Cell for his master’s collection.
“Damnit, me without the Cheetah Medal…” Adagio thought frantically before she acted a smirk forming on her face. Twisting her spear just so, she allowed the sunlight glinting off of it to momentarily blind the Rhino Yummy. As he roared out in pain and his thrashing knocked Vignette free, Adagio gave a shout.
“Odin! Now!” she barked
“...Really beginning to hate that title…” Rainbow muttered before throwing her sword into the Rhino Yummy’s chest. The strike was enough to pierce through the back of the beast, causing it to let out a screech of pain so loud that it shattered the glass around it, dropping Vignette in the process.
“Scanning Charge!” Adagio’s belt sang as she slid along the ground in a kick, a small tidal wave left in her wake. Both collided and sent the rhino yummy up in a powerful explosion and Rainbow’s blade along with a singular cell medal clattered to the street.
“And that’s… that.” Adagio sighed before picking up the cell medal and tossed it to Goldphoenix who began nibbling on it.
“And with that… back to the studio…” Vignette murmured weakly before fainting dead away. Flash forwards a few days and Adagio once more found herself under Vignette’s cameras. But not in the street while in a battle but in her studio.
“We’re here with the town’s greatest saviours. The OAO heroes that stood up to a big, bad monster, stared it dead in the eyes, and punched its’ lights out. Adagio and her rider friend!” She jabbed a finger towards the two of them, causing the broadcast to cut to another active camera fixated on Adagio and her guest. “Do you have anything you want to say to your adoring fans, Riders?”
“Yeah, kill me now,” ‘Odin’ stated. “I’d rather die in battle than be ripped apart by your God-awful, anger-sparking acronym assault. There’s a reason why this kind of stuff doesn’t work in the media, y’know.” she continued crossing her arms.
“Ooh... Feisty! But our studies did show that people did like acronyms a lot more than you’d think, sir. Or is it madam. I can never really tell, what with how gender neutral those suits look...” Suddenly, a bright idea hit her. “Hey! I’ve got a great ratings booster. How about you show us who’s really under the suit right here and now? It’d be sure to pull in a crowd.”
Rainbow gave Adagio a look. Even though the helmet prevented anyone from seeing Rainbow’s face it was incredibly withering and easily readable. “How the hell did I let myself get talked into this?” Rainbow wondered to herself before answering Vignette with a simple yet blunt: “No.”
From up in the rafters above Vignette’s place on her couch Goldphoenix shook his head. Some types of humans, they’d never change the Mirror Monster mused to himself. Always out thinking for themselves and how to get their five minutes of fame. It disgusted him.
“Well, if you can’t show us your face the least you could do is tell us if there are any other Riders besides that incredibly handsome Eiji Hino out there,” Vignette said with a small blush and for whatever reason Adagio made a brief growling sound. “They might need to swing onto the scene if you or Adagio get defeated in battle someday…” Vignette continued as regained control of the situation, completely unaware of the seething rage hidden behind Rainbow’s helmet.
“Their identities are their own to keep,” Adagio replied coolly, a sharp contrast to the boiling cauldron of fury that was about to erupt in Mount Rainbow Dash. “It would be improper of me to ruin their lives just so you can have your five minutes in the spotlight.”
“Oooookay. And now I’m starting to think that this whole thing was a big flop…” Vignette’s face sunk. “You know, with all the attention you’re starting to get, you two should live up the idea of glitz and glam a bit more. Maybe some paparazzi crews sent around to watch your battles would help. Maybe even interact with the people at home, let ‘em know you’re more human underneath? Maybe?” She shrugged. “I mean, we can’t just have a bunch of stuffy No-Emo-Go Riders who don’t even live up the fun side of being heroes, right?”
“I’m not to do this for any sort of fame and grandeur,” Adagio continued. “I’m only doing this because people need help. That’s the only reason I grabbed the belt and that’s the end of it.” she stated calmly.
“That’s a new one…” Rainbow whispered to herself, remembering the Battle of the Bands vividly in her head. She shook her head rapidly, this wasn’t that Adagio despite how much they shared the same face. This was her world’s Adagio, not the Equestrian one.
“So… let me ask something. You didn’t want to come here, you don’t like being talked to by the public, and you’d rather live a life alone in solitude rather than let the people thank you for your services?” Vignette asked, pushing the palms of her fingers together. “With that in mind, are you sure that you’re not delinquents yourselves? Doing who knows what when these monsters aren’t attacking us?”
“Excuse me?” Rainbow snapped getting up off the couch and glaring harshly at Vignette and then Adagio. “Why do you put up with this crap?” she asked Adagio. “No, seriously… Why?”
“Down, girl…” Adagio said forcing Rainbow down not even caring for her momentary slip-up. It wouldn’t do anyone any good if Rainbow ripped apart Vignette on live TV.
“All I wanted was to know what you do. Who you are. Why you’re doing this. And so far, all you’ve done is provide me with the cold shoulder.” Vignette crossed her arms, a noticeable lack of acronyms flying out of her mouth. “Are you even human, Riders? Or are you just robots programmed to think that you’re above everyone else, like you don’t even care about the human race and are just living out some fancy-schmancy protocols created by your inventor?” She barked, her face red and her hands tightened into fists.
“Well, pretty sure I’m human, and I know your crush Eiji is…” Adagio trailed off. Yeah, she knew it was a low blow towards Vignette but quite frankly Adagio was getting tired of the woman. The only reason she and Rainbow were here in the first place was because it: A, would have been rude to refuse the summons, and B, she knew Vignette would find nastier ways to get the truth from them if not satisfied. Adagio sighed to herself softly in disgust. Vignette in some ways represented the worst aspects of the human race and was prime Yummy material.
“And people wonder why I prefer marine life to humans…” Adagio thought. And then it finally happened. Rainbow erupted.
“Yeah. Y’know what, Vignette Valencia. I’m done with your stuff. Just so done. Ever since that Equestria-land stuff, you’ve been nothing but an obnoxious, self-absorbed brat who does nothing but bury her nose in some stupid social media, constantly worried about her image, her high profile, her follower counts. Quick to abandon everyone and everything else just for bettering herself. If you were turned into a Yummy, I’d waste no time in cutting you down in front of everyone, just so that they know how pathetic of a woman you are!” Rainbow screamed, lunging her arms over Vignette’s shoulders and onto the back of her chair. Vignette meeped out in fear before Adagio pulled her back.
“That’s enough, Odin. You’re better than her, no need to sink to her level.” Adagio stated calmly even if she admitted Rainbow made more points than she would have liked.
“No. She needs to know this for her own good because she’s too brain-dead to get it drilled into her mind!” Rainbow snapped her head back towards Adagio. “The quicker she learns how to get her head out of her ass, the better, I think. The world does not need NEWS REPORTERS LIKE YOU!” She roared, the air rushing through Vignette’s hair. Goldphoenix winced from his perch, before doing the bird equivalent to a facepalm. This could only end badly.
“Stop it, Odin!” Adagio grabbed Rainbow Dash and shoved her back down into her chair. “Save your anger for when you’re saving the world. Don’t just let her be tempted by darkness like that! If anything, you’re tired of her. I’m not. Learn to keep your emotions in check, that’s all. Remember, we are on live television.” Adagio said, her breath briefly catching in her throat. As much as she disliked Vignette, she was always afraid of her ruining her reputation. There was a reason one of her worst desires was exactly that, a ruined life and the reason why she once went berserk in the Shauta Combo. “You’re better than her, so start acting like it.”
“You’re a sorry excuse for heroes, you two!” Vignette stood up and stormed off of the set. “Fine then. Just go! Go and save the city. Go and tell your fanbase to fuck off! No-one’s going to tune in to watch someone save the day without at least letting the people know that they’re friendly!” And without another word, she sobbed and barged her way out of the studio, cameras still rolling, leaving everyone else in the room flabbergasted. Well, almost everyone. Rainbow seemed to be pleased.
“Well, you’re going to need a bleep for that, not exactly family friendly! And I thought she was trying to keep up that sort of image for her Facebook Friends!” Rainbow snarked offering up a fistbump to Adagio. “Nice going. Really sent her packing.”
Adagio didn’t return it. She sighed having a feeling this was going to come back to bite her or Rainbow later in the ass. “Odin, as much as I enjoy sending a newshound packing… You do realize that you’re probably about to get lynched by her facebook friends as you put it right?”
“That would require them knowing who I am, remember?” Rainbow remarked. “If anything, you should watch your own back.”
“And that’s why I’m so glad I don’t use Facebook,” Adagio stated walking out of the room before turning back to look at her fellow Rider with a pointed glare. “But when she comes back as or with a yummy in tow don’t say I didn’t warn you!”
Meanwhile, at the Greeed ‘lair’ in Capitol Hill…
“Kazari. Mezool. You might need to take a look at this… Very interesting show this!” Gamel beckoned the two other Greeed to stand by him and Uva, watching the TV that showed Vignette screaming her lungs out at the Riders, before leaving the set in a state of rage and sorrow.
“Oh my… Is a human angry with the Kamen Riders? There’s something you don’t see every day…” Kazari chuckled to himself as he splayed his arms over the couch as a cat would.
“Yes. Perhaps we can use that to our advantage…” Uva spoke, rolling the tongue on his ‘S’s. “We’ve never made a monster with a desire to strike back against the Riders before. Think of the sheer power that their emotions could bring with it.”
“The question now, though, is who do we send to give her the wish she so desperately wants?” Mezool asked, bringing a hand to her chin and scratching it. “What animal does this presenter most likely represent?”
“Either way, I think she’d make a fine Yummy.” Gamel boastfully bashed his belly with the palm of his hand. “Shame I can’t do it, though. I hand-craft all of mine. If only Ankh hadn’t backstabbed us, because I could already see her as some kind of vulture-Yummy...”
“Bah, who cares about him?” Mezool asked waving an arm dismissively. “What we’ve got here is prime material for mining cells, and I suggest we do not skip out on this one!”
“Mezool… Mezool!” Gamel begged and the Marine Greeed looked at him fondly before patting his head in a motherly way.
“Yes, dear, you can have half the spoils…” she smiled at him before Uva chittered angrily.
“Like hell he is!” Uva snarled dangerously, claws bared. “Half the reason why we’re so low on cells as it is, it’s because you’re so fond of that… that dumbass!”
“And I’m not allowed to care?” Mezool asked tilting her head. “Here, I’ll let you in on this opportunity. You and I… We both can seed this woman.”
“Like Hell I’d take you up on that offer!” Uva hissed. “You’d hog all the cells for you and Gamel anyways
“Might be your only chance to grab the most prosperous parent in ages…” Mezool trailed off before shrugging her shoulders. “But if you don’t want a piece of the action, well… your loss I guess?”
“Two Greeeds seeding one parent at once?” Gamel asked slowly. “You can really do that?”
Kazari sat silently, tracing a claw along his chin in curiosity. “Yes, can you really do that…? This, if it ever gets underway no thanks to my comrades and their squabbling would be very interesting to watch.”
“Well, in theory, you could dear,” Mezool explained. “As far as I can see, there is nothing in the yummy rulebook that does not permit such an act.”
“It would be an interesting experiment, at the very least!” Kazari agreed.
“Hearing you support this makes me all the more interested not to partake in such an act!” Uva chittered. “But on the other hand, seeing as how my creations have yet to be successful, an entire swarm of yummies keeping OOOs busy might be beneficial. Plus, I would have in no way you,” he continued gesturing to Kazari who simply licked himself. “Steal my glory!”
“Me?” Kazari asked innocently. “Do such a thing? I would never!”
Uva gave him a quick glare before turning back to Mezool. “Alright, I’m in. Far be it from me not to take a golden opportunity when offered. I would so love to see OOOs go up against such yummies that this Vignette woman would give birth to! These would quite possibly be the most powerful yummies we’ve created since the King himself! This time, she’s met her match!”
“Bold words,” Mezool mused. “But quite possibly accurate. This Vignette Valencia woman… She has a need to be relevant, and in the moment via any means necessary. Now I’m not quite so sure what’s the big deal about such a thing but it is undeniable she is literally bursting at the seams with desire! She’s like a shark, and the people of Denver and their many secrets are blood in the water to her. I’ve got tingles just thinking of what kind of yummies she would give birth to!” the Marine Animal Greeed cackled. “Oh, just hearing her name gives me shivers!”
“Now that's power,” Uva agreed. “The thing such as social media, as I understand it is quite dangerous in this age of humanity. And she knows how to use every aspect of it! I’ll give her this, in her own way Vignette is as dangerous as us!”
“Tell me about it. I just hear that name and I shudder.” Mezool commented.
Smirking, Uva commented: “Vignette!”
Quivering, Mezool commented: “Oooh, do it again! Please!”
“Vignette!” Uva shouted.
Once again, a quiver.
“Again!” Mezool laughing getting a kick out of this while Gamel just wondered what the hell was going on.
“Vignette! Vignette! Vignette!” Uva shouted, and finally, Mezool collapsed to the floor in a dead faint.
Kazari facepawed. “I’m surrounded by idiots…”
Meanwhile unaware of just exactly what was going on with the rest of the Greeed, Adagio was walking back to her car in a huff very unamused with how Rainbow had conducted herself with Vignette.
“Can’t believe her!” Adagio grumbled to herself before she saw Rainbow’s Hellcat missing from the tv station’s parking lot. Adagio scoffed. “Of course, she’s already left. Typical!” she muttered throwing a hand up in the air in frustration and then massaging her temples.
She knew Vignette would come back in a rage, probably with a yummy or two in tow. She just knew it. Nobody left that pissed off and full of desire for good information without attracting some attention from the Greeed.
“I swear Rainbow… I don’t like that woman as much as you do, but can’t you just control your temper a little?” she asked even if she knew such a request was probably futile. She then heard a metallic clang and looked upwards to see Ankh perched atop a light pole. Quizzically, he tilted his head.
“So, what’s got you in such a huff?” he asked. “Haven’t seen you this mad in ages. Not since I possessed your sister…”
Adagio gave him a nasty glare for that. She hadn’t forgotten Ankh possessing Aria and still wondered why she hadn’t punched his lights out for that yet. Sometimes she did wonder if she was far too nice for her own good and if her carefree Equestrian doppelganger had it easier. For a brief moment, she did wonder what had happened to her other half but quickly dismissed the thought. Given how much trouble she’d been for her and her sisters, Equestria Adagio wasn’t really worth much of a thought she mused to herself. Not one bit.
“It’s nothing, really…” Adagio murmured shaking her head.
“Can’t be nothing, like I said I haven’t seen you this pissed since…” Ankh started before coughing and clearing his throat thinking the better of finishing that sentence. In this state, Adagio would probably punch him or worse -he shuddered at the thought- take away his ice pops! “Well, you know.”
“It’s Rainbow…” Adagio grumbled as she buckled herself up. “Probably just caused me another yummy… Again.”
“My my, she does seem to be quite the troublemaker, for you at least. Creating two and now possibly three yummies with her own personality? My my!” Ankh laughed. Truth be told, he didn’t mind Rainbow. Given how many yummies she created, it meant a lot of cell medals for him and the possibility of drawing out the Greeed to take their Cores so it was a win-win all around. At least for him anyways. Adagio didn’t seem to share that sentiment, for whatever reason.
“It isn’t funny, Ankh!” Adagio barked -eyebrow twitching- but this only caused Ankh to laugh even harder.
“You gotta admit, it kinda is!” Ankh said through his sniggers. “I mean, what’s the likelihood of one woman creating three different yummies? Not very high, I’d say!” he cackled. “But anyways, what’d she do?”
As Adagio explained, Ankh rolled his eyes. Vignette, of course. She would be a yummy parent, wouldn’t she? From all that Adagio had actually told him about the woman, he was honestly surprised the Greeed hadn’t tried to take her sooner than this. Hmph, maybe they were getting dumber in their old age or maybe senility was finally setting in. He could only hope he supposed.
Idly tossing his Kujaku medal in the air before catching it again Ankh looked at Adagio. “Look, I don’t know what it is with this saving people thing of yours but honestly… With Vignette… I don’t think you should bother. Not worth it in the end. People like her, -and trust me I know- they burn out quickly and just trying to help them is quite frankly a pain in the neck. You can go ahead and try if you like but I’m warning you now… it’s futile.”
“That’s just it Ankh, nobody’s worth giving up on, not even her. Sad thing is, she’s got plenty of followers everywhere… but honestly, I doubt she has a single true friend in the world…” Adagio trailed off shaking her head in slight pity.
“And why should she?” Ankh remarked. “She’s a bitch and a sociopath! Plain and simple! God above, don’t tell me this Friendship is Magic garbage is getting to you!” he groaned slapping his forehead in disbelief. “Rainbow’s rubbing off on you! That Fluttershy chick as well!”
“And what if it is? And what if they are?” Adagio asked. “Is it really such a bad thing?”
“Tch! Well, let me think about that…” Ankh trailed off. “You are seriously considering befriending Vignette Valencia, the woman who’s caused you nothing but grief ever since you outed yourself. Let me repeat that. Vignette Valencia. Does this not sound wrong to you?”
“In retrospect, my outing myself was a product of my own foolishness. And if I befriend her, maybe she’ll stop going after me.” Adagio shrugged.
“So it’s just simple pragmatism and self-preservation then?” Ankh asked before beaming. “I’m rubbing off on you!”
Adagio looked frankly rather offended by that suggestion.
“And as for Rainbow, well… Don’t you worry your head about her. Not your monkey to keep in line and to stop from throwing shit everywhere,” Ankh stated. “Let her solve her own issues for herself, and work out her temper. If anything, that friend of hers Fluttershy will probably reprimand her later.”
Adagio stared at Ankh. “How do you even know about Fluttershy anyways?”
“Oh, she brought Aria with her on a lunch date of sorts. I just happened to strike up a conversation with her. Simple as that,” Ankh shrugged. “I’m allowed to start making friends am I not?”
“One, I’m more than a little unnerved by the idea of you out alone by yourself visiting my sister and talking to her,” Adagio replied. “And two, I really can’t see you having friends. More like allies of convenience.”
“Tch! Whatever…” Ankh said with a dismissive wave of his hand as he leaped into the passenger seat of Adagio’s BMW. “Call it what you want. I don’t give a damn. In any case, if Rainbow’s going to become an actual Kamen Rider -don’t think me stupid, I know it’s her under that gold armor- she’s really going to have to make an effort to try and reign in her temper. Temper and stupidity go hand in hand in the book of getting you killed manual.”
“You’re real reassuring, you know that right Ankh?” Adagio replied in such a tone that it was impossible to tell whether it was actual honest to god sarcasm or not.
“Frankly I consider myself one of a kind…” Ankh grinned.
“Yeah, that’s saying something…” Adagio grumbled to herself in distaste and disgust. “You’re definitely that, that’s for sure…”
“Oh, is that a compliment from your mouth about moi I do detect praytell?” Ankh replied. “Who are you and what have you done with Adagio Ms. Hate-My-Guts-and-the-ground-I-walk-on Dazzle?” he teased.
“She’s still here,” Adagio rolled her eyes. “Don’t delude yourself into thinking otherwise…”
She kept meaning to ask where exactly Ankh had gotten ahold of that new red core medal but never got around to asking and truth be told she probably didn’t want to know the answer. Granted, it did scare her that he was one step closer to regaining his full power and taking off but for the time being he was still bound to her. She smirked to herself. Maybe she should get a collar and leash, that would keep him in line.
Adagio shuddered at the images that conjured up. “On the other hand… maybe not!”
As Adagio wondered why the Hell Ankh had to be so attractive even with his bitchy personality she heard a soft sobbing coming from behind a production truck used to broadcast images to the studio. Her curiosity getting the better of her, Adagio carefully pulled up to it and walked behind it only to find…
“Vignette?” she whispered out in shock eyes widened.
“Come to laugh at me some more, have you?” She asked, eyes still dripping with tears as she balled her hand into a fist. “Just do it, then. You’ve only just gone and single-handedly flushed my entire career down the crapper.” She smashed it into the table, causing the stress salad she had been eating to fling into the air and come crashing down all over her face, dressing landing shortly after.
“I’m sure you can rebuild it…” Adagio tried to reassure her in a gentle tone. Ankh on the other hand…
“Tch! Yeah, that’d be a laugh. Just trying to watch that…” he muttered with a small eye roll.
“No. Don’t try and tell me that everything’s gonna be alright now. After all, YOU are responsible for this,” Vignette growled. “As soon as that goes live on TV, the entire town is going to see that you don’t like me. That’s going to cause the public to think differently about you. They might even start fighting you instead of the monsters.”
“I think you’re overreacting really,” Adagio commented. “I doubt that’ll happen.”
“Then how do you explain this?” Vignette pulled out her phone, showing a video of the outburst, as well as all of the comments rapidly spawning underneath it. Some being from her fans; others from random people who had clicked on it and were only there for the moment. “One particular comment reads, and I quote, from ABC_CPA, ‘Wow. These Riders have no respect for a TV presenter? Pathetic. I don’t see why we need them at all when we have the police to do this stuff for us’,” she read. “Not my words, theirs.”
Ankh burst out laughing sounding like a kookaburra before Adagio clocked him with another slipper slap to the head. She then knelt down to Vignette. “Listen, I’m sorry for Odin’s behavior. I really am. And I’m sorry for mine. Listen, what you need right now is a friend. God only knows why I’m thinking it over, but…” Adagio muttered before extending a hand.
“I wanted to respect you, but I feel that I’m not going to get any more answers out of you, Odin, and the rest of your friends. I’ve accepted the fact that you’re lonely; humans not willing to show their faces, but rather hide away like some kind of secretive mercenaries hired by the government,” Vignette slapped Adagio’s hand away. “How can I accept someone’s apology when I don’t even know them? When I don’t even know the emotions beneath their Rider helmets? And why would I ever want to accept an apology from the people who just turned my whole career into a festering garbage pile?”
Ankh gave Adagio an ‘I told you so’ type of look while sucking on an ice pop but Adagio ignored him. “Listen, I’m sure your career is salvageable. Hell, I have nothing to hide. Tell you what, I’ll give you a proper interview later this week. No catches and no Odin.”
As soon as Adagio finished, a call came through on Vignette’s phone, cutting out the video that was still playing on repeat and replacing it with the options to collect or hang up. Taking the device back, Vignette hit the green button, before saying, “Hello? Vignette Valencia speaking. The PSS of Denver How may I help you?” Placing the device to her ear, she turned away from Adagio and Ankh, giving them some time to talk.
“You sure about this, Dazzle?” Ankh commented. “Last time I’m warning you. She’s trouble, just watch. Soon as she gets back on her feet, she’ll be hounding you again.”
“Maybe she will, maybe she won’t. I’m willing to take that chance. What she needs right now is a friend.” Adagio said putting an end to the matter.
“Oh yes. A friend indeed…” The venomous voice of Uva filled the air, emanating from Vignette’s phone. Despite the speaker against Vignette’s ear, it could be heard throughout the entire trailer. “The woman whose life was ruined by the Kamen Riders. Have we got a proposition for you…”
Vignette let out a shriek as she dropped the phone.
“To think. The very Kamen Riders; the saviours of this town would be responsible for causing another one of our pets to come out and play. How high and mighty do you feel now, Adagio Dazzle?” Mezool’s voice was added to the conversation as she stepped out from behind a building. “Be this disaster upon you and Odin’s heads!”
Adagio looked towards Ankh, who tossed her two medals while Adagio plucked the Same medal off her necklace and slammed it into her driver before doing the same with the Kujira and Ookamiuo medals.
“Ah ah,” Mezool said wagging a finger as Uva leaped down to street level off a building. “No need to get defensive on us now. We’ll just be leaving our gifts behind and then we’ll be on our way,” She plucked out a simple silver medal, crackling with dark purple energy. “This woman is going to make a fine parent to our Yummies.”
Both she and Uva tossed cells into Vignette’s head and Adagio could only watch as a mummy-like creature crawled out of Vignette’s body and turned into this fire ant-like monster. Mezool smiled to herself, she knew her babies would take a little longer to mature but she could wait. Turning into water, she escaped into a nearby manhole while Uva laughed and took off into the city with his Yummy. Vignette stumbled forwards, before collapsing. Adagio ran forwards and caught her in her arms while Uva’s laughter rang in her ears.
“Dammit, Rainbow Dash…” Adagio muttered while looking at the unconscious Vignette. Hours passed, and nothing came of the whole incident. If anything life seemed to continue on as normal. No abnormal reports of yummies or any other monsters. The fact of the matter was, Adagio had been checking social media or anything else she could lay her hands on for monster reports while using Taka Candroids to scout the city and nothing had happened. She wasn’t entirely surprised. Yummies only existed to act on the parent’s desires, and Vignette’s desire was for a good story. Granted, Mezool’s influence would drive her into desperation for such a thing but anything worthy of Vignette’s attention would have to come to her on its own.
Adagio had fallen asleep at her computer, Ankh absentmindedly stroking her hair before for whatever reason grabbing the covers off the bed and pulling them up over her.
“...What’s wrong with me?” he muttered to himself, opening a window and looking out over Denver’s skyline. Looking back towards Adagio, he sighed. “Tch! I need some air,” he grumbled before leaping down onto the street below. If Adagio couldn’t find Uva’s yummy then that left the job up to him he supposed.
On that cold, gloomy night in the city of Denver, another Adagio strolled through the streets, not fazed by the rain trickling down onto her hoodie or the puddles her shoes were striding through. She was travelling alone tonight, having left Aria and Sonata back home to make sure that they didn’t get in her way. The last thing she needed after a clean start was her incompetent sisters making a mess of everything. Now, powerless and alone, she needed to start eating. And not like the kind of magic she was used to, but rather that of actual food made by human hands.
As she came to the closest cafe -a pizza parlor called the Magnum Opus-, she was about to walk inside when all of a sudden she heard a loud clattering, followed by some spilled bins over the road, with a shadow skulking off into the distance. “Feh.” She said, going inside to get herself a well-deserved meal.
The smell of the establishment was one that Adagio had come to know and cherish quite fondly. Ever since she came to this town, she never could pass up a visit to a place like this. With the tiled floors, faux-neon bars for a counter, and the kitchen visible behind the order window, it gave her a sense that she was in a comfortable place. She quickly fiddled around in her pocket as she went for her money, passing by the empty tables that surrounded her. Not that she wanted anyone to witness her in this state. She laid out her money on the counter, speaking to the man on the other side.
“The usual, Ocean. Get me a large meateor with stuffed crust,” Adagio bluntly demanded folding her arms over as she watched Ocean take her payment. “I need something to fill my belly after the bull I’ve been through in this world.”
Ocean raised an eyebrow before shrugging and shouting towards the kitchen. Adagio sighed and out of the corner of her eye saw a video on a phone of a blue armor-clad woman smashing through a horde of giant fish. She cursed under her breath. That damn counterpart of hers… That’s what the issue was really. She was stealing all the fame that was meant to be rightfully hers!
The owner of the phone then switched to another video, this time of the human world’s Adagio fighting alongside a golden armor-clad woman.
“Rainbow Dash of the Rainbooms. How much longer must she and her friends haunt me and my sisters?” She grumbled, planting her eyes and forehead on the table. She wasn’t as stupid as anyone else. She sorta figured Rainbow would be the one under that Odin armor, being the goody two shoes she was. It wasn’t that hard to believe that Rainbow would graduate from Equestrian magic to the powers of a Kamen Rider. Adagio had been around the block before, she’d seen the powers of the Kamen Riders in action before. They’d changed over the years, but she’d seen them. She’d been back in Japan during the seventies, the Showa era. She’d seen Riders Ichigo and Nigo fight against the forces of Shocker. She chuckled to herself. And now those powers had somehow found their way to America of all places and ended up in the hands of her very own counterpart along with Rainbow Dash.
“If only those brats hadn’t destroyed my pendant. I’d easily get their powers with a few songs and disagreements. But, as luck would have it, fate hates the Dazzlings and wants to make sure that they never sing ever again.” Adagio headdesked. As it was, her sisters needed medicine. They hadn’t exactly been in the best of condition as of late, the human world’s sicknesses finally catching up to them after living on the streets for so long. Adagio chuckled darkly to herself.
Irony really. She and her siblings had survived for so long on humankind’s misery and now it seemed the human world was getting its own back. As she reflected on the life she lived and how it was gone forever, her pizza finally arrived at the counter. At least that would keep her one step farther from the edge of the mortal coil. Still, she needed to get back on her feet somehow, and find a way to save her sisters. Much as she hated to admit it, she did care for them. They’d been together for hundreds of years since that dick Starswirl and the Pillars tossed them out of their homeland. They’d seen the rise and fall of empires together, swam the high seas as pirates and pillaged ports, even worked side by side alongside Oda Nobunaga in the Sengoku period of Japan. She at least owed them that much.
“If only… If only I had those powers… I could use my counterpart’s fame to my advantage, and when I’m done with them… ruin her life for taking what’s rightfully mine!” Adagio thought with a downright evil grin. The question was, how to go about it really…?
Then she looked out the nearest window and saw a man in a leather jacket with blond hair that could only be described as ‘feathered’ really. She smirked. She’d seen the man in the background of a few videos featuring her counterpart and had a feeling that they were connected somehow.
“Boyfriend maybe?” Adagio wondered. “Oh well, no accounting for taste I suppose…”
Leaving a small tip behind, she dashed out the front door.
Adagio ran towards the man with the feathered hair, planting one of her hands on his shoulder just as he was about to turn the corner. She gave him a smile as she slid her arm around his shoulder. “Hey. What’s up, big boy? Might I say, you are looking ravishing this evening...”
Ankh blinked. He could have sworn he just saw Adagio fast asleep at her computer. He furrowed his brow, maybe she wasn’t as tired as he thought. Or maybe this was an Adagio thing. Sleep-Flirting? Was that even a thing? He eyed Adagio, she certainly looked more… frumpy than usual. Her hair was a mess and her clothes looked like they’d seen better days.
“Oh, don’t mind the clothes. It was a rush for me to get dressed and I grabbed the first thing I could find.” She showed off her clothes to Ankh, letting him get a good look at her hoodie. “Not the most glamorous thing, I’ll admit, but it does the job of keeping me under wraps pretty well...” she said slowly unzipping it and allowing Ankh a good look at her cleavage. “Like what you see?” she asked noting Ankh’s expression.
Ankh blanched, letting out a comical little squawk. Was… Was Adagio flirting with him? “Go home Adagio, you’re drunk,” he stated even as Adagio stroked his chin sensually. The Bird Greeed was really not sure how to take this. “How… how do humans deal with these… these emotions?” he mentally screamed feeling an odd sensation overcome him and feeling a bulge in his pants.
“What? Drunk. No way. If I were drunk, do you think I’d find my way out of the house and back into your arms?” Adagio asked, massaging Ankh’s shoulders tenderly. “Now, what’s say we go out and find the monsters that are hurting this little town, shall we? All I need are those medals and we’ll be on our way,” she said her voice a dangerous purr.
When Ankh tried to protest, Adagio put a finger to his lips and shushed him, stroking his hair affectionately as she locked gazes with his, almost leaning in for a kiss. “There’s nothing to hide with us, is there? Now, let me see that driver and medals. After all, it’s only fitting that such a handsome, radiant, and elegant man like you show your treasures to a girl like moi.”
“Ad-Adagio!” Ankh squawked out in shock. “What the hell?” he shouted. “Is this mating season for you humans or something?”
Yeah, something was definitely wrong here even if he couldn’t put his finger on what exactly. This was extremely odd, even by human standards.
“In any case, I kinda need that medal and driver. Otherwise, this whole town’s going to go tits up with those monsters running around, causing chaos…” Adagio clambered off of Ankh’s body, trying to use his sudden shock as a weak point for her to talk him into handing them over so that he didn’t have to put up with her sensual attitude.
“Yes, yes quite. And I do need those cells…” Ankh whined really starting to feel a little bit of pain from that bulge in his pants. Was this a human thing? Seriously, when he signed onto to collecting the cores from his fellow Greeed, this was not in the instruction manual!
“Thank you,” Adagio took the medals once Ankh finally relented and pocketed them before capturing Ankh’s lips in a kiss and then pulling away leaving Ankh motionless from the shock of it all. Adagio purred. “Thank you… So debonair, so devilish… So DUMB!” she shouted out before soundly kicking him in the balls leaving Ankh kneeling over in pain and slipping into unconsciousness. Searching Ankh’s pants pocket she smirked when she came upon a house key. Of course, Ankh wasn’t so stupid to keep the Driver on him or more likely given how stupid the man was her counterpart had conned it out of him. No, it would be at the other Adagio’s house in her possession.
She chuckled as she took to the shadows and waited for Ankh to awaken. “Now, all that’s left to do is trace you back to your little friends, and the power of Kamen Rider OOO will be mine…”
She vaguely remembered how powerful the original Kamen Rider OOO was, the King of some far off European nation and a mighty conqueror all those centuries ago. She drooled at that sort of power. Not even the mighty Spanish Armada could withstand his strength. Now that was power. Exactly the kind of power she needed to rule this world. But first things first, she had to ruin her counterpart’s life. This was the internet age after all, and gossip flew all too easily. Anon-A-Miss was proof of that. Waiting till Ankh managed to kick in the door at her counterparts’ house in the Highlands district she slipped in behind him and waited till he was out of sight. Grabbing the driver off the dresser and the Same medal off of her counterpart’s necklace, she quickly fled the premises and smirked. Finally, a chance to regain her old glories.
“Henshin.” Adagio stated with a grin and felt the power overcome her.
“Same, Kujira, Ookamiuo: Sa-Ra-Mi-Uo! Sa! Ra! Mi-Uo!”
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Well... I caught up with the story in time to see Ankh get kicked in the nuts and the equestrian adagio take the driver. This seems like it's going nowhere good fast.
9601384
Well, it can't be all roses and smiley faces now can it? No, a good Kamen Rider fic does drama and makes our heroes hurt. Plus I figured I'd better take full advantage of the fact that's there's technically two Adagios out there, and not just toss the EG one to the side for only minor mentions here and there.
9602095
Because damn it, everything is gay about this!
Nah, he likes his woman spicier if I remember correctly
Bring it, I'm not afraid. Now, where was the key to my bunker again?
HEY! How did you get in here? I locked the bunker door!
9605946
Depends on how often you use it, how well you lay out the rules and how much you know them yourself. It can work wonders.
Rainbow going full-on Ronin.
superheldenfilme.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/theavenger4setbilderzuavengers4wirdhawkeyenunwirklichzuroninwerden.jpg
...
You know exactly what I meant!
So, which one? The Beast Squad special or Rider Time Ryuki? Because you did place this story roughly around the time of Ex-Aid.
There are certainly two plots going on right now that aren't really intersecting all that much.
9605956
Beast Squad. If it were Rider Time, Odin couldn't possibly be here given he was the final enemy of that.
So how would you... suggest I fix that issue?
9605967
That makes sense. Hey, you never know after all.
Villains working together? I mean, Ryuga working with the Greeed would certainly defuse the two-story problem.
Yay...
Hopefully not.
For this, I have to channel a certain asshole: "No comment!"
Count the medals!
How dare they?
Care? Sure! The first moment that is good for you, you will throw him under the bus.
I would say they would be overreacting if it weren't for... well... Vignette.
Wow, really? Look in the mirror then you see the cause of all of your problems.
Hey! You are 1,5 years too early. Another Riders aren't supposed to show up yet.
Familiar name.
She was drunk once, drunk on power.
Ankh and Adagio sitting on a tree...
...should I send the Changelings after him?
I felt that...
9626500
Don't you mean...
🎼~Life goes on! Anything goes, coming up OOOs!~🎼
It's uh... Not a quiver of fear. Your daily dosage of brain bleach requiring imagery, from yours truly. bows You're welcome.
Sorry, couldn't resist. A certain pizza place may want to do background checks on their patrons now...
So what, a love triangle between Ankh, Human Adagio, and Equestria Adagio? Or even further, a Love Square between Ankh, Eiji, and both Adagios?
Now that would solve a lot of problems! Two Adagios for both of them!
I think we all did. Somewhere, as if millions of males' voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced in fear of retaliation. I fear something terrible has happened.
9626754
No, she doesn't deserve that.
Your brain is already down the drain.
Far too late for that.
Solve problems? Solve?