Candles
A lavender hoof hung above a door. Twilight stopped short of pushing it open to catch her breath. She needed her heart rate to slow, needed body heat to disperse. The question currently preoccupying her was the one that hadn't left since she arrived in Ponyville.
What was she feeling?
Was she scared? Yes, but she wasn't solely scared. In fact, Twilight couldn't even be certain that she was mainly scared. There was anger in there, too, coupled with disappointment. The fear was particularly interesting though, multi-faceted and shifting. She scholar in her wanted to study it. She was scared at the town, scared of being right. And yet, with all she saw, all she remembered, she was terrified of being wrong. Maybe most of all.
She thought again of tearfully apologising to Rarity, and the fury spiked and sharpened. Twilight could see her now, veiled by thin curtains but projected onto them by low lights. The hum of background music overwhelmed by the way they all laughed as Rarity told them how she'd actually gotten Twilight to apologise to her.
And then it crystallised, became lucid. Twilight knew what she was feeling most of all. More intense than anything was the sadness. Even when she was happy, she didn't remember the last time she hadn't felt sad. Her hoof lowered onto the wood, apparently satisfied with this crushing realisation, and Twilight opened the door and walked back into the library.
As soon as that door opened, Spike was there. All reassurances and simpering, stuttering. His sweaty nervousness, intrinsic to his juvenile form, was obvious in a way that Twilight had never seen before now. Why hadn't she properly realised before? She lived with a child.
"So, did you and Rarity have a good time today?" He asked, wringing his little claws. He was always so eager to help. But Twilight was scared, and angry, and above all she was sad. She didn't want someone to help her right now, she didn't want to talk to anyone. She wanted to simply go upstairs and sleep, and hope her dreams, for once, weren't consumed by half-remembered flashes of music that sounded like insanity.
"Yes Spike," she responded simply, and went to make her way upstairs.
"Twilight!" he called out after her, "Are you okay?"
"Yes."
"It's just... you know? What happened today?"
"I'm fine Spike."
"But you don't seem it, you don't seem like you've gotten any better," he whined, and she turned to face him.
He looked at Twilight with the same look Rarity had worn before leaving. Like she was made of porcelain, like she would flip out the moment he said something wrong. A pity steeped with poorly-concealed trepidation. It was the look you gave a child, prone to tantrum and slow to thinking. Like she wasn't thinking clearly.
Like you're insane.
"If I'm telling you that I'm fine," she snarled, startling him, "That means I'm fine. I don't need you trying to look after me like I can't look after myself. Amazingly enough, I've managed this long, I think I can keep it up."
By the time she'd done, the ghost of her screams danced around the now still air, reverberating from the walls. There was the pronounced feeling that something had just died. Their distance felt exaggerated. Her throat felt scratchy and her eyes slightly watered.
How loud were you shouting?
Spike looked stricken, and some smaller part of Twilight still safe in her lifeboat prayed he'd have the sense to just leave it there. Maybe then Twilight could storm off to sleep, and be able to make amends in the morning. Maybe then there would be some chance of retrieving whatever had just been wounded. But more than anger or fear, Spike just looked worried. More worried than ever, like a parent's worry. He looked sad.
It enraged her.
"Twilight, this isn't you-" he began, and it was like the microsecond's worth of stationary contemplation after you did something you couldn't take back. Because then Spike was cut off when Twilight started to scream again.
"And what would you know about that? What do any of you know about it?!"
"Any of who?" he spluttered desperately.
"Don't play games with me, Spike. Isn't it amazing, truly astounding, that I can't fit in here while you can? You're off with all the girls, at that arcade with Rainbow or simpering to Rarity..." Twilight paused, and her eyes narrowed when a horrifying thought occurred to her, "I don't know why it didn't cross my mind before? That you could be in on it too?"
"In on what?! Twilight you're scaring me," he babbled.
"I'm scaring you?! Am I scaring you, Spike?! You want to know what it's like to be scared? Really, truly scared?! Fear's when you're convinced you're losing your mind, when your whole life depends on that mind. When your supposed friends make you think you're going insane. And now you're telling me I'm not myself, I'm not thinking clearly, I'm mistaken, like someone who's losing their mind. Is that it, Spike? Am I insane?" she spat, storming towards him, "That's what this has all been leading up to, hasn't it? Every time you lied to me."
"Twilight," he started, gesturing for her to calm and affecting a careful tone which only served to infuriate her more, "Please, when have I ever lied to you? When did I ever-"
"BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME IT WOULD GET BETTER!" she shrieked, upending a nearby table with a flash of her horn, "How about it, Spike? You still think there's no problem here? You still think this is all just going to sort itself out? The train's leaving the station, Spike. Last chance now, because I know there's something happening, I always remember. And I know you're smart. I know you're not going to miss things you don't want to miss. So, who is it then? Them or me?"
Spike looked over the floor. The table had been where she and Rarity had just had tea. But now the pot, cups and saucers were shattered. They'd been a moving-in present from Rarity. Twilight would have been able to fix them if she wanted to. One simple spell, and they'd be as good as new. She didn't think she would, though.
"Twilight, what are you asking me exactly? I'm sorry you're in pain, I really am... but there's nothing happening here," Spike said, his tone pleading, "All I want is for you to feel better, but if you're asking me to back up these... 'theories' of yours... I just can't. I wouldn't be helping you. It's not you Twilight, and it's not them. It's no-one."
If before, the distance had felt exaggerated, it was now insurmountable. They stood apart, kept separated by the shards of something beautiful that Twilight had destroyed. Something that Rarity had brought here. Something that could still be fixed if she just changed her mind.
But that's how they get you, isn't it Twilight?
"Yeah, that's what I thought," Twilight replied.
Twilight squinted in the gloom. With only candles for light, her work was slow and laborious. She'd initially tried to use her hornlight, but found that had quickly lead to headaches and even less work getting done. Leaving the cellar door open would have helped but... that wasn't really an option.
Over the last week Spike had taken over running the library during the day for the customers, while Twilight busied herself with the long-overdue cataloguing of all their basement stock. There had never been an actual discussion that had lead to this. That would have required them to actually talk. Instead, Twilight had woken up the morning after their disagreement at two in the afternoon. Whether she'd simply slept through her alarm or whether it had never gone off was a mystery she didn't have the drive to solve.
When she'd gone down, Spike was already serving the customers. Meaning she got fixed with not one, but two stares. One uneasy, cautious. The other inscrutable. So she'd gone down to the cellar, and Spike had left her meals by the door, and that was how it had gone. Spike, motivated by a duty unknown, to her or to the town, kept everything in check. In her more remorseful moments, Twilight wanted to cry for him.
In her darker ones, she wanted to scream.
Traitor, turncoat, mainlander.
Down here was slow, unsatisfying work. But she didn't mind, it needed to be done. Endless checklists and stock crates, oceans of text. There was a muted sense of satisfaction, though it was quashed by a single thought about the world outside. She used to think she was safe on her island. But she was wrong. Not when the mainlanders had got their hooks in.
So instead, she stayed in her bunker, and for once cursed the breadth of her vocabulary. Because a part of her knew that 'staying here' wasn't what this was at all.
Cowering.
The door opened, and Twilight flicked her head around. That hadn't happened before. Normally, if Spike was dropping off some food, he'd give a couple of curt knocks then leave so Twilight could collect it herself. The light was dazzling, and she squinted until her eyes adjusted. Hushed voices fluttered down, too scrambled on arrival to discern what was being said. Eventually they stopped, and she caught a faint glimpse of Spike, looking down at her.
Was it the time alone, the fraying of her mind with stress, that meant she couldn't even tell whether his expression was concern or contempt anymore? Was it the same that stopped her from telling which of the two she felt in return?
"Twilight, a few of us are going to Sugarcube Corner," Rainbow announced, startling Twilight. She turned to see how close Dash had gotten without her even noticing. And when she turned around to look up at Spike again, the doorway was vacant. She wondered whether he'd even been there at all.
"I think you should come down with us," Rainbow continued, and Twilight's head snapped around.
"What? Come where?"
"Sugarcube Corner," Rainbow repeated, looking at Twilight worriedly, "You know? Like I just said?"
"I'm fine."
"Twilight-"
"It's a rumour about the library. It's all in my head. Ponies aren't staring. I'm mistaken. It's just nerves. It's just stress... right? I can get all this at home, Rainbow. I certainly don't need to go down to Sugarcube Corner for it."
Rainbow shifted uncomfortably. She looked like she was desperate to say something, but the moment passed quicky.
"Look Twilight, you can't just stay in your cellar forever. Sometime or another, something's gonna give. Might as well be now," she said frustratedly.
"What clipped your wings, Rainbow? Do you think I'm stupid?" Twilight snapped, "I thought you were all 'spirit of adventure', and you're just rolling over? You disgust me. Even more than all the mainlanders. At least they stick it. But you just let them do whatever they want. And I could at least understand with the others. Fluttershy is scared of her own shadow, Pinkie thinks she can fix the whole world with one of her infantile parties. But you?
"You were supposed to be better than all of this," Twilight continued, "You were supposed to be smart, capable, able to overcome everything. You're the personal student of Princess Celestia. But you just hide out in your little cellar and close your eyes and put your hooves over your ears and hope and pray your stupid, deteriorating mind can come up with some quick fix, but it can't. You're a coward, and a hypocrite. And I hate you, Twilight."
"Twilight, are you alright?"
Rainbow's words snapped her out of the... daydream? Hallucination? Was there a difference? She thought it was something she should really research when she next had the time.
"I'm sorry I just... not been getting much sleep." Twilight replied, steadying herself on her desk.
"Twilight, look, I know moving here can be... hard. I really do. But this isn't helping you. Hiding down here, cutting yourself off from the world isn't helping you," Rainbow urged, then spoke up again as soon as Twilight's gaze wandered back to her desk, "Hey, remember the first night we met? Going into the Everfree? We found that manticore, didn't we? And once Fluttershy had calmed it down? What did we do?"
"Nothing," Twilight replied, confused with the sudden change in topic.
"Why? If it got provoked again, it could've killed someone. So why didn't we do something? Why not kill it before it could kill someone else? Maybe we knew that leaving it in the forest, where it wouldn't come across ponies anyway, was the best thing to do. Maybe it wasn't worth the fight?"
"Rainbow, what are you trying to tell me?" Twilight said, and she wanted to cry. Because she knew what Rainbow was trying to tell her, and she just wanted it to be said. To move past all the code and sneak and mindgames.
Just say it.
But this was Ponyville, and in Ponyville things were slow to change.
"I just..." Rainbow bit her lip, and it looked like the stress was going to crack her until the dam broke. But whatever lake it had once contained was long sapped dry, and she just slumped.
"Just... come and have lunch with us, Twilight. Please."
When she stepped into Sugarcube Corner, Twilight immediately clamped her teeth down on her tongue. The pain was sharp, piercing, and it gave her some distraction. Because Rarity was at the table, talking happily with Applejack and Fluttershy. Then, when her eyes trailed over, languid and self-assured, they met Twilight's.
Her expression was like Spike's had been. That patronising, overdone pity that made Twilight want to shriek. Was it even insincere? It would have been easy to assume that Rarity was simply taunting her, or covering her tracks. After all, when she'd last seen Twilight, she'd received an apology from a mare that thought she has lost her mind. But where did the games even end anymore? Was the trick of this place that it made her torturers pity her even as they wound the rack? Twilight hated that thought more than anything.
The light blue wing on her back gently urged her forward with Rainbow, straight into the chorus of meaningless platitudes. How great it was to see her, how had she been, how good she looked. She took her seat, responding with simple grunts.
"So Twi'," Applejack began, "What have you been up to lately?"
A dimming, subtle and only apparent to a trained ear, took over. When she first arrived, Twilight wouldn't have even given it a second though. But she was practised now, her ear was well trained. She turned in her seat, and took note of the eyes flicking away from her like cockroaches scuttling away from light. What had she been up to? Were they that interested? That worried she hadn't believed their little story about a local fear of a cursed library?
Twilight turned back around.
"Just busy at the library. There's a lot of stock in the cellar I've never gotten around to going through." she replied, and picked up a menu to look over.
"Well make sure you don't hold up down there too much, darling. It's important to take a break."
And there it was. Twilight was thankful she was holding a menu. Because as soon as Rarity's voice rang out, she was back in the bushes, trembling, only one further fright away from pissing herself. It was like it was hard-wired into her by now. Reacting like a dog to a master's whip. She disgusted herself.
"I can't wait for this!" Rainbow piped up, filling the silence that had developed, "Training for the young flyer's competition has really been taking it out of me."
Under the table, Twilight felt something on her leg. She looked down, and saw Rainbow's hoof. She watched Dash continue the conversation animatedly, distracting all the attention away from Twilight. Keeping them from needling her, from pushing her until she broke. And when that hoof gave her a reassuring squeeze, as if to remind her that she wasn't alone, Twilight felt nothing.
She dropped her menu and looked around the restaurant, registering the eyes that flicked away from her again with a muted sense of disappointment. Finally, she met eyes that didn't flinch. No, they locked with her. Two pegasi and an earth pony. Nothing on their table, no menus, just staring brazenly. No care for stealth or subterfuge.
Just like that night last week when they'd stood there, right by her in the bushes, as the music played. Reminding her she was seen, that she was known and that she was so utterly, hopelessly small. She didn't want to give them the satisfaction of knowing how much they terrified her. So Twilight turned back around to see the excited reactions of her supposed friends, enraptured by Rainbow's exuberant story.
But one pony wasn't paying attention.
Oh, they were trying to seem like they were. Granted this wasn't the cocky smirk of their past interaction, but Rarity's eyes would flick over to Twilight every so often. Checking what she was doing, checking whether Twilight had bought the story she'd heard last week. That she was some insane voyeur, living in a 'cursed' library.
And suddenly it all seemed so clear, how little energy Twilight had for playing these games anymore.
Twilight pushed her chair out, got up, and began to walk towards the door. Rainbow's story died off as suddenly Twilight found herself the centre of attention again. But she didn't care. They could do their little routines and intimidation tactics. She was done. Even as her heart pounded, even as she affected a calm she didn't truly possess to keep them from seeing the storm of fear and anger and residual, compulsive need to unravel this whole... whatever it was.
"Twilight-"
"What Rainbow?" Twilight interrupted, preempting whatever hidden show of 'support' Dash had next, "Do you have something you want to tell me?"
Then the eyes slid off Twilight, onto the pegasus, and Rainbow wilted. Her mouth opened and closed, looking for all the world like a filly with stage-fright. Because there was nothing to say, nothing to placate Twilight and the mainlanders both. Maybe a week ago, Twilight would have managed some denial, some rationalisation. Maybe at the very least, a laugh at the absurdity of it all.
As it was, she simply turned and walked out of the restaurant, leaving them all to continue the pantomime.
When Twilight reached the library, she found that some prayers could still be mercifully granted in this town. The main room was totally empty. She had a clear shot to the cellar. No forced interactions with customers, no reminder of the void carved between her and Spike. Twilight rushed towards the door, only pausing when she saw the meal left by Spike. She went to collect it, but stopped midway.
Twilight snorted, stepped over it and shut the cellar door behind her.
Once inside, she lit a candle with a small flare of magic, then walked over to the desk and looked over her checklist again. A whole week's work, and she'd only managed to cross A and B off the alphabetised list. Any thought of grand plans to unravel the grand conspirator that had arisen during her walk home were quickly eclipsed by the comfort of busy work. Because this was important too, right? Not everything in her life could be about this town. Sometimes she could just stay in the bunker, because the bunker needed tending to as well.
She grit her teeth and carried a candle over to the box of books she'd been working on. All C titles, books about cities, cyclones, comets. All important, all bigger than this town, all useful. And if Twilight didn't have a real home anymore, if she didn't have the friends she thought she did... if she didn't even have her assistant anymore, then by every bone in her body she was going to be useful.
I'm not hiding. I'm not afraid to face my problems. The work needs to be done.
She squinted, holding the candle closer to the books as she tried to pick out anything useful in the gloom. Maybe if she could use her hornlight without getting a headache, it would be quicker. But it was too much busy work, wasn't it? Too much concentration to use her magic at the same time. Never mind that she used to be able to do work ten times as demanding as this while sustaining magic that put a hornlight to shame.
But just keep on pretending it's not getting to you. All that stress, rotting away your mind and your skill. It's a good thing you're down here now. Shadows like it in cellars.
Maybe if she could just open the cellar door? Just a little? Maybe if not for the risk that she'd have to see Spike and deal with not knowing who between them was the monster.
She squinted in the gloom, trying to make out titles of books. C books, the third part of her checklist. But she couldn't see anything because these candles were just too dim and she was too stressed to focus and she couldn't open the door and she could see any titles of books about cakes or cats or crepes or clarinets or cleaning or concentration or cardiology or currency or clinical psychology or cauldrons or cysts or carrots or control systems or churches or crustaceans or carbon monoxide or coeliac disease or corsets or courting or canons or cauliflower or chariots or chitin or canines or COWARDS.
Twilight screamed and threw the candle on the ground. She then turned and kicked the box. It didn't move, so she kicked it again. Then she kicked it again and again and again until the wood was dented and fractured. She gasped for breath, trying to calm down. The candle had gone out, and she scrambled for it in the dark but couldn't find it anywhere.
You're lost down here. You put out all the lights. You don't have any other way to find your way around. Not the candles, not the world outside. Not even yourself.
Twilight nearly broke, she really, nearly, did. Because if the candles didn't work, and she couldn't ask anyone outside, and she was too stressed to do it herself. How could she possibly light the way?
And down there, to her shame, she very nearly missed the obvious answer. Until it came to her, down in her bunker. Because the candles had turned on her, the outside world didn't care, and she was half mad with stress to the point where she just couldn't make light the way herself. She couldn't rely on herself. So she'd do what she always did.
She'd tell the problem to go to hell, and do it herself anyway.
Twilight spat and ignited her horn, groaning defiantly through the resultant headache. Then she intensified the magic until it was too bright to even keep her eyes open anymore and still weathered the agony crushing her skull. Just to show she could. Just to remind everyone who exactly was in control here.
Twilight lowered the magelight to a more reasonable level and then stood. When she opened her eyes again, the room was aglow, every box and book title rendered in a detail she'd nearly forgotten existed. A few metres away lay the candle. She walked over to it, paused, and then stamped on it with a forehoof. It felt good.
Change didn't happen quickly in Ponyville, it was incremental. So while Twilight was still down in her bunker, and she was still in pain, her breath settled again. The headache got more bearable with each passing moment. She turned back to the box of books, but found her attention drawn to something behind it.
So huddled in gloom she'd been, Twilight hadn't even realised how big the cellar was. She didn't think she'd ever actually seen the walls properly, before now. So it stood to reason she'd missed it. The photograph someone had pinned up. She walked over, affecting a caution she couldn't quite understand.
When she reached it, Twilight found her hornlight dimmed. It was a polaroid, like the ones she saw in the salt lick. Except this time, there was no pony caught in a snapshot of their night out. It was a picture of Carousel Boutique. Like Twilight had seen it last week. Dimly lit, quiet, horrifying.
'I hope you had a good night!' sang out Rarity's ornate script, marking the border of the photo, and something about it made Twilight feel small. For a moment she wondered whether this was another sickening trick, but the ink was fading, this was old. Months at least. Whatever it meant, it predated Twilight significantly. She looked around the cellar, checking she was still alone, before reaching and pulling the photo down.
Twilight yelped and jumped back when a panel of the wall came down with it. She looked around again, but the cellar was totally normal. She could even hear Spike moving around upstairs. Whatever was happening, this was certainly not some trick set up for her. When the dust had settled, and Twilight had calmed down, she peered into the hole left in her wall.
She reached in with a forehoof, and was shocked when she realised how deep it went. By the time she felt her hoof make contact with something, her face was nearly pressed up against the wall. She pulled it out, and after brushing the dust off found herself with, what else, a book.
She frowned, fear now fully given away to confusion. This was short lived though. Because once she opened the front cover and began to read, any calm was lost to her once again. She brightened her hornlight, ignoring the resurgent headache to banish all darkness fully. For some reason it felt important as the page's contents dawned on her.
Chaotic scrawls, notes begun and abandoned halfway through. In the centre of the page, one of the only things not hastily scribbled out, 'I am not insane' had been inked by what must have been shaky and desperate hooves.
But one thing, seemingly from a happier time, remained, untouched by the madness. The interior cover had a neat, golden indentation. It reminded Twilight of something she'd do, it made her want to cry. And any relief or camaraderie was overwhelmed by pity for a mare hunched in the bunker, half mad with stress, from a time before.
Personal Diary of Night Owl, Golden Oaks Librarian.
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Oh man i've just read everyting up to now in one s
Sitting. Im hooked on this and i want more. This is great
BROOOOOOOOOOOO--
You have NO idea how excited I got when I saw this updated!! Poor Twilight, she's going off the deep end. Great job, Rarity
God fucking damn that last line. I am extremely intrigued to find out what exactly happened or if this was a ploy to make Twilight go crazier.
10236918
Hey thanks a tonne! You being verbal in the comments is great I love hearing detailed feedback, please keep it coming haha :P
Oh and big congrats on Hearts Beat 100k in a month is crazy impressive! It's a high priority RIL for me for when I get back to reading here I camt wait to dive in!
10228597
I can't say much here but suffice to say we're coming up to the home stretch now ;)
10228529
She certainly is! Twi and sanity are not close friends these days haha :P
10228042
Thanks mate! Got them sorted now
10227348
Thanks so much! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it and hope the last few chapters don't disappoint! :D
10196549
Thanks for all the comments friendo! I hope you continue to enjoy the fic
Damn, a perfect place to catch up with the story, a cliffhanger!
Update?
I think u mean “the”
Also
HOLY SHIT. This is so good. I ripped right through it seer.
I need to know how it eeennnnds!
This story earned a favourite from the first chapter alone...
And then it just kept going.
And going
Deeper, deeper, deeper further still.
Okay. Losing it slightly. Coherency gone.
I think this is going to have to be my stopping point for now. As much as I want to continue, other things need my attention, and Night Owl will have to wait.
I am so impressed by how brilliantly you've illustrated Twilight's descent to madness. The pacing is pitch-perfect, the whole thing is beautifully characterized, and you've managed an excellent balance between her internal monologue and her interaction with others. Everything about the way you've set this up reinforces the intricacy, the dance of it all-- like Ponyville is playing a massive chess game and Twilight is every broken piece.
I can't even begin to describe how excited I am to learn about Night Owl. I'm hopeful that I've picked up in all of your clues and themes, as you make this such a great experience for the most attentive readers.
Can't wait to be all caught up!!
YES!
Ok, but is it changelings?
Like. Rarity is a changeling queen, and a majority of ponyville citizens are her hive. Connected by a hive mind, ponies stare at Twilight to observe her, learning pony behavior and manipulation techniques from Rarity’s interactions with Twilight, and allowing Rarity to track her. Ponies become more animated and engaging with Rarity around for this reason. They are more advanced students stepping up to learn, and Rarity can give more complex instructions up close. When Rarity, the star, appears, the show begins.
The three stallions are drones, who protect the Queen.
Twilight’s night sweating is one part anxiety, and one part the hive preferring a warm, humid environment.
Not all of Ponyville’s citizens are changelings. Many are real, and aware that they are surrounded by Changelings. They are used as props to engage with any outsiders, potential new members of the town, and, what I think applies to Twilight here, test subjects.
Snowdrop was left out of Rarity’s gathering perhaps due to her age combined with the fact that she is a flesh and blood pony. It could be the once ponies are of a certain age, due to their maturity, something can be done with them (allowed to leave Ponyville and be replaced within Ponyville by Changelings, with memories altered, or just copied and devoured fully? Eaten or mated with Rarity to create the next brood? Eaten, replaced and those now graduated drones able to take their place and spread out from the hive into Equestria?)
This also answers the question of why Cheerlie did not bring her students, all foals, to the Golden Oaks Library. They are likely all still ponies, and are harder to control or cannot be trusted not to give it all away, or are young grubs inexperienced with mimicry. In fact, Snowdrop is the youngest pony to have any sort of significant presence in Twilight's story so far. She was at the pub because she wasn't old enough for the ritual. Was stationed as the bartender either to force Twilight to interact with her versus the other ponies (all changelings, all not adept at social interaction), or a way to test the adolescent and see if she could be trusted with handling outsiders. Or those particular drones and Snowdrop herself, living in the hive town, didn't really get that teenagers shouldn't bartend.
If, instead, Snowdrop is a changeling, then she is by some means significant enough to be placed in close proximity to Twilight more than once and be watched and evaluated by others. Myabe her purpose was to make Twilight feel a bit happier, but she failed once at Sunny Pastures, again at the bar. She seems to eager to please Twilight with all her "knowledge" and show her how "real" she is. Definitely a real pony teenager and definitely a real pony who knows about things, drinks, having parents.
Twilight did not hear some strange music that night, and see a dark boutique. She witnessed whatever this Changeling ritual was (Rarity consuming love with her subjects, or replacing ponies, or giving birth). The three drones are powerful enough that they share Rarity’s power, or have something to do with anchoring it, and muddled Twilight’s memories of that evening.
As a Changeling Queen, one of the ways Rarity extends her influence is through the designs left all over town. They enable her hive mind to function. They act as a form of communication, that only Changelings can read.
Rarity once dreamed of conquering Canterlot, of course, but has found that she had better control sustaining Ponyville as its own little ecosystem. Ponyville may have always been a changeling hive, with new ponies carefully ushered in for practical reasons: learning, food, new blood and genes to help keep the population (if ponies are kept there like cattle) healthy.
Information must be gathered from Twilight. Will she make a good addition to the pony stock and be able to accept this sort of life? Is their useful information to be taken from her, about Canterlot, magic, the princesses, and behavioral interactions.
Will she be able to fit in with Rarity’s beautiful hive, with all its cultivated small town beauty.
Or, Rarity appears to see not all ponies as cattle, but in special cases as pets, as friends, with Twilight a potential inclusion. The other mane six ponies, of course, all fall into that category. They have more amenities (select housing, adoring fans, access to animals and acreage and some measure of privacy, even, from the staring horde) and freedom within Ponyville. But they know they are kept pets. They could escape, but Fluttershy is too afraid to risk it, and Rainbow Dash too loyal to leave her. Applejack was raised in Ponyville and knows no other way of life (She is so puzzled as to why Night Owl would leave "her home"), and something-something Pinkie Pie will take anything over a rock farm, I guess.
Night Owl was an attempt at integration. But she isolated too much, lost Rarity’s favor and interest. Her time was before Rarity found a way to exert better magical control of her hive and ponies minds (which is why the 3 stallions and the designs are not mentioned in her diary.) Rainbow Dash tries to get Twilight to leave her home and be social with the other's and Rarity for this reason. Rarity, the hive itself, Ponyville as an ecosystem, has little use for a shut in. If Twilight isolates, then from her the hive can yield no information, no emotional food, no entertained Rarity.
So. There. Ponyville is Changeling Queen Rarity’s hive. Twilight is the latest potential applicant for acceptance into the ecosystem she maintains between her drones and Ponyville's actual ponies. Her odd experiences are the result of her bumping into or being directly targeted by facets of this ecosystem at work. Performative social exercises for the education of drones, an aesthetically pleasing and well organized small town charm, observation for security and information gathering purposes. All controlled by Rarity.
These riddle things are inaccessible to my shriveled brain
Before I read further, my current theory is Changelings