A human is placed in Equestria, can't talk, and beats the baddies without friendship! Unfortunately he reintroduces a method that has been lost to time.
I only raised a brow, with a cock of my head. (CLICHE ALERT!!!) “You will gain all the power your heart desires, the ability to kill... I mean defeat your enemies with ease. You could do what you want, as long as you obey me.” I gave a thoughtful gesture. “Here’s a sample, follow.”
Oof. Yeah, this is riddled with errors. That's ok though. At least the idea itself isn't a bad one.
Edit: Not spelling errors. Not bad pacing. Those are great. There are places where you used the wrong words, and I think I saw a sentence loop. It was the part where he blocked a beam only to get struck in the back with another whilst distracted.
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Thank you for your input. If you see anything that could be improved or fixed, please let me know.
Ehm... NSFW confirmed
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Denied.
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It's called cocking when someone tilts their head like a dog. Dogs do this too.I
It's also called cocking a gun when you pull the hammer back on a gun that uses one (so like revolvers and old muskets)
Oof. Yeah, this is riddled with errors. That's ok though. At least the idea itself isn't a bad one.
Edit: Not spelling errors. Not bad pacing. Those are great. There are places where you used the wrong words, and I think I saw a sentence loop. It was the part where he blocked a beam only to get struck in the back with another whilst distracted.