When Twilight starts promoting her studies of a distant culture known as 'Pet Culture', some ponies in Ponyville start to take an interest. Ponies like Rarity, who's got her eye on a Pet Sweetie Belle - even if Sweetie Belle herself isn't so sure.
Mmm. I don't think the breaking is done right. If the victim isn't willing, and doesn't want to be willing, but so desperately wants something out of submitting, it doesn't result with a total brain switch. It ends with self-loathing and shame, shame for loving that which comes with pain and shame and punishment, and there's always a little of that left. No matter how long, how much positive and negative reinforcement, it won't ever feel right for them to just start unabashedly loving it with no other feelings. It's especially unbelievable after just a few weeks. I can see Scootaloo taking to that attitude with Rainbow easily, but a defiant Sweetie would get depressed and do the motions out of fear and obligation. Sorry if this is a bit nitpicky, but in my porn I still like everything to make internal sense. The characters can be OOC, but they should be consistently OOC.
Asides from characterization though, the writing in this story is quite good, if a bit fast-paced. Props to your prose.
Mmm. I don't think the breaking is done right. If the victim isn't willing, and doesn't want to be willing, but so desperately wants something out of submitting, it doesn't result with a total brain switch. It ends with self-loathing and shame, shame for loving that which comes with pain and shame and punishment, and there's always a little of that left. No matter how long, how much positive and negative reinforcement, it won't ever feel right for them to just start unabashedly loving it with no other feelings. It's especially unbelievable after just a few weeks. I can see Scootaloo taking to that attitude with Rainbow easily, but a defiant Sweetie would get depressed and do the motions out of fear and obligation.
Sorry if this is a bit nitpicky, but in my porn I still like everything to make internal sense. The characters can be OOC, but they should be consistently OOC.
Asides from characterization though, the writing in this story is quite good, if a bit fast-paced. Props to your prose.