great story! I hope there's a sequel

9241983

rather then spend effort giving Rarity any sort of motivation

Do you?

9241983
You...you do realize that the PoV changes between them every so often right?

9234468
When your entire arguement can be boiled down to "the author wasn't even trying to put any plot there", based on how much plot you were seeing them manage to put there, you end up being somewhat...Insulting, for a lack of a better term.

Man I really wanna see a sequel to this, or maybe an anthology series with all the different ponyvile residents

9250641
Or the training of the other two cmc

I would love to see the training process of Apple Bloom and Scootaloo as spinoffs

... Or Diamond Tiara

The sad part is what happens when Sweetie Belle grows up? Or the other foals? Your going to see a very messed up society as a entire generation or three will literally be unable to care for themselves.

9244555
Do you need a link to pornhub? There's a few million videos there. Go and talk about how simple their plots are. Say how the plumber is doing a poor job fixing the sink. Or the pizza is cold.

9583639
True, you read it for the Plot, not the plot

Hentai.

i would love to see a sequel

It's... Okay.

I definitely cannot say it's an enjoyable read, but I can't say it isnt either.
My issues stems from a lack of Pacing and development. The writing is great, the plot is interesting (I was actually hooked by the first chapter) but once it actually got to it, I started skimming. A lot, actually. At first I felt I was being unfair, so I went back but I just couldn't get immersed.

Again, it's not bad, it's just not great either. Sadly it's just fetish porn, but I really wish it was more. I feel like it could have been better. Regardless, Ill give it a 2*/5*. No review for this one, I couldnt read enough of it to give it a fair review.