I'm intrigued so far, but the perspective suddenly changed. It started off being written in third person, but now it's written in first person? It would be best to be consistent with the perspective. It was quite jarring to go from third person to first person.

"Well then Twilight." I said giving her a small sideways glance. "Will the young one be alright after all of this?"

"Well darling, that's awfully kind of you to ask." Rarity said while giving me a pleasant smile, with others in the group sounded their agreement.

"Well Ash, after a good bit of rest and a return to normality she should be just fine."

Well, well, well.

"Would you rather be prance about with it?"

What?

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Yeah, I still need to go back and edit the first few chapters. Im hoping that my writing is considered better at the 6 or 7th chapters