Chapter 2: Mourning
One Month Later
“I'll never to get used to this.” Cinch thought as she signed a stack of paperwork. “Well… No Pain, No Gain.”
As she signed the last disciplinary report, her eyes drifted to her trinket cabinet, over towards her prized baseball. Her mind compelled her pick it up, though she was reluctant to do so. Juggling it aimlessly in her hand, the appearance of the ball brought another flash of memory, as vivid as she just experienced it long ago.
“What an amazing game this has been so far between the Canterlot Cougars, tied with the Griffonstone Groundhogs. Number 47 of the Cougars steps up to the plate. The amount of games this season hasn’t thrown off his stance one bit. He readies his swing, focused as he ever was. Here comes the wind up, the pitch, and THERE IT GOES! Over the fence and some young lady in the crowd caught it! There we go, a home run! Four points to the home team, breaking the tie and some young lady in the crowd is going home happy with an amazing prize!”
*Sigh*“Why? Why did I fail that one time?” Just as she was pondering her past error, Cadence walked in, slightly stressed.
“Oh, Hello Cadence.” Cinch greeted. “You're here awfully early from lunch watch.”
“Well, a fight broke out between two students.” Cadence explained. “It wasn't a huge mess apart from a few tables being knocked over.”
“I see. What of the two parties involved?”
“One of them is in the nurse's office with a bloodied face and the other is my office nextdoor.
“Who’s the one you have in there?”
“It would be hard to believe. But, It's Quill Fable.”
“Him? I guess he’s having a harder time to readjust than we thought.” Cinch knew that the student would return. However, she recalled during a meeting with his uncle that though he was responsive during the three-weeks long therapy, there was still some psychological scarring. Even with the medication provided to him, the doctors and his uncle noticed very little improvement or recovery at a snail’s pace. When he came back, his teachers noticed that from eye contact, he seemed more empty than previously observed.
“Yes. I saw him being antagonized by some of the other students. But, I was unable to get the context of what was said.”
“Well, I'm sure you're capable of negotiating with him.”
“Actually, I was hoping you'd be up for doing it.” Cinch was caught off guard by her request, communicating with a student about their issues. She remembered the last time she had a one-on-one conversation with one years ago. Twilight Sparkle was one of her brightest students and losing her was one of the many prices she paid for her ambition.
“Cadence, you know that the last time I talked to any student, it didn't work out so well.”
“Cinch, you have every right to take the blame for your actions. But, you can’t move on if you don’t learn to forgive yourself.”
Cinch knew that Cadence had a point. Her guilt however, made it incredibly difficult for her to do so. Not only did she hurt Twilight, but her actions that led to the incident during the friendship games caused others to get hurt as well. Even more so, that one failure from so long ago cast a veil of doubt over her. But, she couldn't let it weigh her down for much longer.
“You know, Cadence,” Cinch said, putting the ball down. “There's a quote I've learned from philosophy class in college and I suppose it fits me in some fashion:
He who fights with monsters should be careful lest he thereby become a monster
And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee.
I've made great efforts to be the best I could and give it my all. Ironically, my efforts resulted in the opposite of what I hoped to accomplish. Even after all this, you've remained my friend. For that, I can't thank you enough. I'm honestly through bemoaning the past. I'll do it.”
“I'm certainly glad that you're becoming more optimistic about things.” Said Cadence. “I would give you a hug but I know you well enough that you're a bit of a touch-me-not.”
“Well, sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not. It all depends on my mood.”
“Alrighty then,” Cadence headed for her office door. “I'm going to bring him in here. I must advise you to be as careful as possible because he's irate to say the least. Not a happy camper.”
With a strong inhale and exhale, Cinch nodded sat at her desk as a young man with a sour look on his face entered. Right off the bat, Cinch recognized him from last month, afraid and in pain. Now, all of his fear seemed to be replaced with emptiness, worsened by a dash of anger. Another thing she noticed was scar on his forearm, ever visible from outside his uniform.
“Please, have a seat, young man.” Without a single sound, Quill did as he was instructed but averted his sight from her. “So, Mr. Fable, I'm glad you've recovered from happened last month. Having to go through a rough patch is always a hard thing.” Her question was met with only silence.
“Hmmm, he's probably going to be a tad difficult to deal with. Keep calm, Abacus. He's just a kid that has been on some hard times.”
“Mr. Fable, I know that you feel traumatized by what happened but I’m here to help. So, I would like to hear you out about what occurred at lunch earlier. You're free to use whatever degree of profanity you so wish. There'll be no consequences.” Hearing those words, Quill’s head rose until his gaze met hers. From just his eyes, it spelled rage, frustration, with a hint of sadness. His sour expression soon grew to that of anger and his fists balled up like he was about to attack the nearest thing that breathed.
“Those fuckers...” Cinch was slightly surprised when Quill's legible mumbling broke the tense silence. “they were all teasing and mocking me.”
“About what?”
“About how I failed to even kill myself. They we calling things from 'pussy’ to ‘chickenshit’. As it went on, I just fucking snapped. I pushed some jackass away and just curb stomped him. The fucker deserved it. But why the hell do you even care?”
“Well, he seems to be opening up quicker that I thought.” Cinch thought to herself. “He also looks to be rather hostile but it masks a fragile emotional state.” Clearing her throat, Cinch prepared for another round of questioning.
“Well, as a staff member of this school, it is my duty to consider the wellbei-”
“Oh please, like you ever fucking cared,” Quill sarcastically quipped. “or anyone else for that matter. You were just like my teachers from middle school, barely doing anything for me. To be honest, it would've been merciful if you'd just let me die that day.”
“What?!” Gasped Cinch, shocked by the young man's proclamation. “Why on earth would you say such a thing? Your uncle Smokestack was incredibly worried when we called him last month!” Upon the utterance of his uncle's name, Quill Fable growled and his anger grew higher.
“Well, that asshole was never there for me when I needed an ear to talk to!” Yelled Quill. Looking at his angered expression, Cinch noticed a small tear left his eyes. She knew the barrier that walled off his emotions was due to break. What that, she formed a new strategy: coax his emotions out and let him vent. Though, she still had to handle it with the finesse of an ice skater.
“Well, I understand that your uncle is a very busy man.” Cinch said, straightening her glasses. “He works hard to provide a decent life for you after what happened seven years ago.” Her mentioning of ‘seven years’ had triggered a disturbance within Quill. He cringed, squirmed, and growled as if what happened all those years ago had left a permanent imprint on his mind. Though it made him uncomfortable, she had to press on and take the risk.
“Listen, I know what happened back then. He told me everything.” Cinch stepped in front of the distressed student, kneeling down to his level. “You parents died in a car accident, five days before Christmas due to a heavy patch of ice on the road. He also told me how devastated you both were when he broke the news. I fully understand how you feel about it and you have every right to grieve. Believe me, I truly do share your pain.”
“BULLSHIT!” Quill blurted out in anger, breaking the ex-principal’s balance. “I'm well aware of what kind of person you are, Ms. Cinch. I haven't turned a blind eye to what happened at the games three years ago when I was a freshman. I've seen how you've manipulated that one girl and look where it got you!” If it were any other situation and she was still principal, Cinch would've given him a punishment most harsh. But if it was going to help him wind down and ease up, Cinch had no choice but to not react with anger. “You try to change who you are but you never will! You're nothing more than a cold-hearted manipulative bitch that doesn't care about anyone but yourself. You can lie about it as much as you want. But, the truth is: you never loved anyone!”
The last part of Quill's rant hit Cinch down to the marrow. As it did, the same memory she tried hard to suppress had come back with a vengeance. There, she had felt emotions that have since been lost to her: joy, happiness, and love. In all of them, she saw a certain masculine figure, younger than she was. Seeing the figure’s face made her heart feel heavy yet filled with joy. She told Quill that she felt his pain and his assumptions to the contrary couldn't be any farther from the truth. She had him where she wanted him and knew what to do to help him release his pain: share hers.
“You’re wrong, Mr. Fable.” Said Cinch with a solemn look.
“Then prove it.” Quill snarled. Cinch then walked over to her trinkets, picking up a picture of her and the same person from her memories. The very sight of it made her shake in place. But at the same time, it filled her heart with warmth. She took it and sat next to the enraged student.
“See this picture?” Cinch said. Quill took a few to scan the contents of the image but was readily able to identify her younger self in it yet the young man was a mystery. His anger began to simmer down as it was gradually replaced with curiosity.
“Who is that guy?” Quill asked as Cinch took a deep breath.
“That’s… That’s my younger brother, Leon.” Quill was stunned at the identity of the man in the picture. Rarely did Cinch ever mention she ever had a brother or acknowledge she did, whether it was around her peers or students. Her heart began to grow heavy as she prepared to recount his story. “I was five years older than he was. I even remember seeing him on the day he was born, so full of joy he was. Nobody messed with him in school because I made sure of it.”
“You must’ve been a good big sister.” Quill stated. From the tone of her voice, he could tell that something was amiss. “What happened to him?” Cinch took a long sigh as she began to explain, as much as it hurt her.
“When he was 26, he'd been dating some woman for five years. I've honestly never seen such commitment. One day, he was planning on proposing to her during dinner. When I went to visit him at his house, I found him crying on his porch. It turned out that he came home to his girlfriend making out with another man and that she dumped him in a brutal manner. I tried to console him but I made the mistake of reminding him that I tried to warn him. Then, we had a shouting match where I said things that I sorely regret and it ended with him saying that he hated me.
Feeling guilty, I went back the next day to apologise for the night before. But, I wasn’t prepared for what I was about to see. I saw him in his living room, on the floor, a whiskey bottle next to him, and his forearm slashed and bloody. I knew what it was and I never once thought it could ever happen, not in my family. I swiftly picked him up and raced him to the hospital. They rushed him to the ER but… it was too late. He was pronounced dead on arrival.”
Upon hearing about the fate of her brother, Quill gulped as his gaze turned towards his scar. It only took him a few moments to come to the real reason as to why Cinch and saved him. She felt guilt over failing to do the same for her brother. As if by some trick of the mind, he felt a stinging sensation from the mark, clutching it. In some form or another, Quill felt Cinch’s pain. His eyes slightly watered with regret for what he said, knowing her feelings were genuine.
“I lost two things that day: one was my brother and the other was my old self. I failed my promise to protect my little brother and I vowed to never fail again as a way to atone for my sin. Even then, I continually went down the slippery slope and did things I’ll never be proud of. As time went on, my mind became blind to the moral quandaries when my efforts bore fruit. Somewhere, I wanted to draw the line but my own fear of failure, like a drug, compelled me to go further. Now, I’m ashamed to even look at this picture.”
Throughout his freshman year, Quill never saw Principal Cinch display any emotion apart from frustration. She always seemed so focused on her professional image and reputation, prioritizing it above the well-being of students. Yet, there she was, spilling out her emotions that she hid behind a mask for so long. Though he didn't want to outright admit it, he felt sorry for her.
“Ms. Cinch,” Quill whispered, hit by empathy and his anger gone. “I… I'm sorry!” Just as he was about to cry, Cinch, in a rare occurrence, put a hand on his back, rubbing it to calm him down.
“I know you are.” She replied. “But, you don't need to apologise. I understand what it's like to feel angry at the world when a loved one was taken too soon. Sometimes, we'll have to move on even if it hurts.” Cinch then noticed the young man began crying. She knew that the moment was ripe to ask him the one question she had. “But, why did you want to take your own life?”
“I… I jus- I just wanted to see my parents again! God dammit, I miss them so much!” That was it, the dam had burst. Cinch had succeeded getting him to vent his emotions. As she looked on, she heard a voice call to her. Taking a quick look around , there was nothing, yet it still spoke. Then, it said to her:
Go on, he needs it.
She didn't know how but she knew what it meant. Never in her career or the last several years did she do it. But, she knew that even the smallest gestures can have an impact. With her heart fueled by empathy, Cinch gently pulled Quill into a hug. Quill was overwhelmed by the feeling. The last time he remembered getting a hug was from his uncle when they were delivered the dreadful news. Overloaded from a sense of love, he buried his face in her shoulders and sobbed quietly.
“It's alright.” Cinch shushed. “It’s perfectly fine to have a good cry once in a while.” Holding the grief stricken student, her heart began to beat harder. Back in her youth, Cinch always gave her brother a hug whenever he felt troubled. Now, that same experience came back and her heart felt achy with grief. As much as she tried, she couldn’t hold back her tears but she contained herself enough to not sob. To her, it was like going back in time to prevent the tragedy. But alas, reality was a harsh mistress. However, she was able to prevent the same fate from befalling a young man, one she never knew personally. For the first time, she felt as if her guilt had gone away.
“I’m… sorry for my conduct.” Cinch whispered, loud enough for Quill to hear. “If I’d acted sooner and been more decisive, you wouldn’t be placed in such a bind. I know my words will hold no meaning but I’m sincerely sorry.”
“It’s okay, I forgive you.” Lifting his head up, Quill wiped the tears from his face and locked his eyes with Cinch. “Just this hug was enough to convince me.”
“Well, even the smallest of gestures can have an impact.” Cinch broke the hug and put a hand oh the young man’s shoulders. As she did, she had another flashback to that baseball game from so long ago. However, she remembered catching the ball that was now on her shelf. She was given a congratulatory punch in the arm from Leon, calling her lucky. But, knowing that it was his birthday, Cinch handed the ball over to him with a “Happy Birthday, brother”. He was caught off guard but so was she when she was given the biggest hug that she could remember. Just seeing her brother so happy made her day that year. Now, it was a bittersweet reminder of a happy memory.
“So, we’ve both lost someone that mattered in our lives.” Quill sighed, shaking his head and holding it. “As much as I want them back, I know they’re gone for good. I just couldn’t handle it back then.” Sensing a hitch in his voice, Cinch turned the young man around and locked her gaze with his.
“Mr. Fable, when I lost my brother, like you, I begged for him to come back but I knew that it wouldn't happen. But recently, I came to the conclusion that we'd be seeing those people again when we do eventually die. But until then, we have to do what they would want of us, to live a happy life. Believe it or not, parents would go to the ends of the earth to ensure that their children grow and live happy… and I know your parents wanted the same for you and the same goes for your uncle. He works hard to support you because he loves you and you remind him of his brother. Though things might be difficult, It’ll get better in the end.”
Quill took a while to ponder the ex-principal’s words of wisdom. Her words did hold truth to him and he realized the error of what he did. But, within his epiphany came a resurgence of hope and happiness. No longer did he feel any anger towards his uncle. Without an ounce of warning, Quill wrapped Cinch in another hug as his frown gradually turned into a smile before whispering thank you. The shift in emotions was contagious to where even Cinch herself couldn't help but smile with him. All of that left them oblivious to Cadence entering the room.
“Is everything alright here?” They broke the hug and turned their attention towards the principal. She wore a warm smile on her face as she knew the situation was resolved. However, she still sensed a deal of stress within the student.
“Mr. Fable,” Said Cadence, kneeling in front of him. “I know you’re starting to feel better. But, I feel as though you need a little more time to destress yourself. So, I’m giving you the rest of the week off to calm your mind. Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble or anything.”
“Okay.” Quill sighed as he sat up. “I live about twenty minutes from here.”
“By foot?”
“Yes.”
Cinch locked eyes with Cadence, just staring with silence. After a few more moments, they nodded in unison and turned their attention back to the student as he was about to exit the room.
“Mr. Fable,” Cinch called out, stopping the him in his tracks. “How about you gather your stuff and meet me by my car. It’s the red mustang out in the parking lot.”
“Are you sure you could do that?” Quill asked with bewilderment.
“Yes.” She replied. “Now, go gather your stuff and meet me by my car. I’ll be there in a few.” With a light smile, Quill went on his way, leaving Cinch and Cadence alone.
“How did I do?” Cinch asked.
“Wonderfully.” Cadence smiled. “You’ve held your composure in the face of such hostility and displayed a great deal of empathy. I’m proud of you and this’ll bode well during your next meeting with the board. Now, I’m curious as to why you hugged him. Here, I thought you were a touch-me-not.” Cinch sighed as she remembered the voice calling out to her, one that was familiar. Yet, she couldn’t drum up a good explanation as to what it was or why.
“I… don’t know. I guess that was my conscious speaking to me.”
“Well, I suppose why matters little. But, in any case, I have an idea that I’ve been shooting around while you were confronting him.”
Cinch and Quill were cruising down through the quiet neighborhood. The trees provided ample shade from the mid-spring sun. As the shade was getting more sparse, they arrived at a cul-de-sac where Quill’s house is in the middle. As she parked in front of the boulevard, she noticed Quill looking depressed. She sighed as she rested a hand on his shoulder, catching his attention.
“Quill, I know you feel that you’re alone and that your uncle is away from home a lot of the time. But, you should never feel that way. Me and Cadence came up with this idea we figured might help you in the long run.” Reaching into her purse, Cinch pulled out a post-it card with a pair of phone numbers on it. Each one was marked with as her’s and Cadence’s respectively.
“In case you ever feel you’re about to stress out or you’re in trouble, don’t hesitate to call either of us. Never feel as if you’re a burden with this. Think of it as a therapist service.” Quill looked on at the card as a smile grew on him. He then knew that there’ll always be some with an ear to talk to. “Now consider this a standing order: relax this week.”
With a chuckle, Quill exited the car and entered his house, allowing Cinch to return home with the knowledge that she did what she believed was right. With her guilt now gone, she was able to get a night’s sleep, unfettered by any emotional ailment.
Cinch began to stir from her slumber, tossing and turning in place. Her bed was a memory foam mattress and it shouldn’t’ve caused her any discomfort. Then, she heard the voice from the day before, compelling her to open her eyes. Her vision still a blur and her head in wake mode, she put on her glasses and beheld a sight before her that made her heart skip a few good beats.
Sitting on her bed was young male figure in his twenties. He had short maroon hair, green eyes, and wore a sweater with a vest. There, she knew exactly who he was.
“Been nearly twenty years, huh… sis.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.041 seconds
Total duration
770 users online
762,164 hits today, 2,879,217 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I am highly intrigued by this. Keep up the good work
9088896
Thank you. I have a chapter up next that'll primarily involve her and her father. It'll further expand on the events as depicted.
9088899
I look forward to it.
Well, that's Author's Note answered a question I had on my mind. I hope you're doing better. =)