Size Doesn't Matter

by Pixel Berry

Chapter 8

Liz groggily woke up from her nap. To her surprise, she was out of her suit, instead, in a simple white tank top with shorts. She looked around, seeing that they were in a cell of sorts, but in front was a huge table filled to the brim with food. Her stomach growled loudly… almost as loudly as the snoring next to her. A quick look revealed John was next to her, wearing a matching shirt, but in sweatpants.

“John.” She spoke, lightly patting his cheek. “John, wake up!” His snoring continued. She groaned, pinching his nose to shut his nostrils. It proved effective as he squirmed a bit before falling over, waking up.

“I'm not late!” He yelled.

“John, I'm right here.” He turned to Liz.

“Oh… hey, Liz! Were we having a party and-” His stomach growled. “... hold that thought. I'm starving!”

“Me too, but look!” She pointed to the table. The two got up and saw all the meals; meat, fruit, vegetables, candy, it was all there. Their mouths drooled.

“So… tasty…”

“Think it's for us?

“... Who cares! Let's dig in!” John immediately grabbed a Turkey leg and began to scarf it down.

“Hey! I want some of that!” Liz joined in.

Almost like savages, they both began to scarf everything in front of them. It took them only a few hours to finish everything, leaving only plates, bowls, bones, and scraps. Their otherwise fit physic turned was gone as they had large bellies that stuck out and under their shirts.

“Geeze, I never realized how little we ate or even rested since we got here. I feel so much better now.” She admitted, feeling as if she could go back to sleep, but figured that she had enough rest as it is. “But asking the obvious now: Where even are we? Weren’t we at some big city with a red bridge?”

“I don't care,” John admitted, trying to reach for a slice of cake. “can you hand me a piece?” The sound of a door opened, followed by Shining Armor entering with a disgusted look, and a pony in a maid outfit entering and cleaning up the mess.

“Ok, that's enough of a show.” He spoke.

“... Oh great. And I thought that was a weird dream.”

“You wish it's a dream,” The voice of Twilight Sparkle was heard, followed by the pony entering “But you'll regret doing what you did!”

“Uh… I'm lost.” Liz spoke. “Where are we, exactly?”

“Canterlot.” Shining Armor answered. “Specifically, the dungeon. It's actually amazing how long you've been asleep.”

“Oh? We've been asleep for how long?” John asked. “A day or two?”

“An entire week.” John and Liz both had surprised looks on their faces.

“Well, I would guess that made sense with how long we’ve been awake, followed by what happened at Manehatten. We honestly didn’t think the crystals would be that powerful.” Liz said, a blush on her cheeks as recalling what happened just made her embarrassed.

“Of course. We did everything we could to wake you up.” Shining replied.

“...Like?” John asked.

~-~-~

Two of the Royal Guards stood over the sleeping pair. Their job was simple: wake them up to face their charges. It was easier said than done.

“Alright… let's pull everything we got.” The left said, poking Liz. “Hey! Wake up!” Liz waved her arm at him.

“Five more minutes.” She spoke in her sleep.

“... You lucky?”

“Nope!” His partner replied, slapping John’s sleeping body. “Wake up! Wake up, lazy bones!” All John did was snore.

“Looks like we need to bring in the big guns.”

The series of misfortunes were as followed: both guards did everything in their power to wake the two up. Blasting music in their ears, holding fresh food in their faces, even splashing them did nothing. Well… the last one made John wet himself in his sleep, but that's it.

~-~-~

“Dude! You could've at least given me new pants!” John yelled.

Liz tried to cover up her laughter at the idea of John wetting the bed, but she didn’t want to be a jerk at the moment. But once she got her bearings, she took in a small breath before she spoke. “Alright, listen. Now that we can actually see eye-to-eye, you need to understand that we didn’t do any of this to gain power or take over the world or something. We just wanted to get back to normal. And since electricity is rare in this world, this way was the only way we knew how to fix our suits. Speaking of: where's our suits?”

“That's not up for you to know!” Twilight answered. “As princess, I sentence you to-”

“A thousand hours of community service.” Shining Armor interrupted. Everyone turned to him in shock.

“Shining! What the hay are you-?”

“Giving them the correct punishment. It is true they stole blueprints and some shards from the Crystal Heart, but they saved millions of lives from the rampaging ex-dragonlord, Torch. For that, I am grateful. I will see you both tonight.” Shining walked out. Twilight followed.

“Shining! Wait!”

“... Huh… that's not bad.” John spoke. “Think we'll get our suits in those hours, or after?”

“We should at least know where they are. Even if we’re facing our punishment, we deserve the right to know where our property is being held.” Liz said, not really wanting to do anything unless she knew the suits were in a safe place, recalling the marvel movies an what would happen if they fell into the wrong hands… or hooves in this case.

“Sure beats Tartarus.”

“I don’t care, we need to know where the suits are. Don’t you know what a rich business pony might do with that kind of technology? You’ve seen the movies and you know more about them than I do.” Liz said, now really concerned over knowing where they were being held. “And judging by how we were able to steal blueprints and crystal shards, I am not so trusting of this worlds ‘security’.”

“Relax, these ponies will never get close to this type of technology.”

~-~-~

“Look at the mechanisms in this, brother!” A tall and slender, yellow, bacon haired looking stallion spoke. “All of this, and anypony wearing this can shrink at will!”

“Indeed, brother!” A similar looking stallion, who had a mustache to look different, replied. “But look at the woman’s suit!” He pointed to a still picture of her firing something out of her wrists.

“Sweet Celestia! This magic is so advanced, yet, so close!”

“Why yes, of course! You thinking what I'm thinking?”

“I believe so!”

“Make this available to the highest bidder!” They spoke in unison.

“... Only… how do we get in?” The mustached one asked.

“Never fear! I've already got an idea.” His brother answered, pressing a button. A pair of hazmat suits appeared.

“Oh, genius! Genius, I say!”

“And all we need is a few pictures and some notes to get it all ready, with some willing test subjects!”

“Hmm… ten thousand bits to the one we get it right?”

“I love the way you plan.”

~-~-~

Twilight followed Shining Armor throughout the castle.

“You can't be serious!” She insisted. “They're a danger! Menaces! They-”

“You misunderstood them, Twilie.” Shining interrupted. “They're not bad. They did it because you forced them to.”

“Me!? They used Ocellus as a puppet! She-”

“It was likely an accident.”

“Why are you defending them!? They-”

“They helped each other! John protected Liz when I tried to squish her! He single-handedly beat me just so she wouldn't be harmed!” Twilight backed up.

“H-How do you know their names?”

“I didn't. Flurry did.” He gave his sister the piece of paper. Twilight observed it. “They made Flurry happy, even though they were on the run. Made hot chocolate, even if they made a mess. And they saved millions of lives in Manehatten, risking their own lives for complete strangers. If you think they're still menaces, then you're just as bad as Neighsay!” He stormed away. Twilight looked at the drawing again. She sighed.

“Maybe I should've listened.”

~-~-~

John and Liz sat together as two other guards stood in front.

“So… how's Celestia?” John began. “Is she as cake crazy as our friends say?”

“And by the way, where are we even gonna stay for community service?” Liz asked, figuring they would stay at the Crystal Empire since that stallion mentioned they would see each other again.

“You'll find out soon.” One of the guards asked.

“... And who are your friends?” The other asked.

“Oh, ants,” John answered. “A whole colony’s worth, actually.”

“I think I see some of them climbing into the prison windows,” Liz said, looking at the small window the two clearly couldn’t go through and saw a small group of ants start climbing down the wall from it. “But wait, don’t the suits control the ants? Or was it something else? They’re probably here for any leftover scraps on the floor.” She lightly shrugged.

“Eh, it can't hurt to try.” John picked up a small piece of cheese and handed it over to one of the ants. “There ya go, little fella. Gonna need a lot to survive.” The ant took the piece and saluted. John gave a blank stare.

“D-did that ant just saluted?” Liz just had to ask so she would be sure she wasn’t just seeing things.

“... I think we're experiencing a food coma, sirs.”

“But don’t food comas make us, you know, pass out. I don’t recall anyone saying they were seeing some weird stuff as well.” Liz stated, still not getting it as she figured she shouldn’t question anything at this moment. But then she had a rather interesting idea. “Hmm… perhaps if we can still understand and control them, they can figure out where our suits are since that purple pegacorn won’t tell us.” She explains the idea to him. ‘And perhaps shrink them down and bring them to us in case we really need them.’ She thought, remembering what happened in the first and second movie.

“You know we're right here.” The first guard spoke. “We can hear everything you say.”

“Didn’t your mother tell you it was impolite to eavesdrop!?” Liz snapped at them, it being one of her pet peeves that people sometimes do.

“We're paid to watch over you two.” The other replied. “Keep you both from escaping court with Princess Celestia herself.”

“But we aren’t escaping. We just want to know where are suits are. They belong to us, and your dumb princess technically stole them.” Liz said, wondering how they would go against that. “Besides, what if another dragon comes to this city? I highly doubt you two can do anything.”

“I think an entire army may be needed,” John added. “That, or a giant robot that requires two pilots to control it in synch.”

“Please, I bet the army is just for show and they don’t know the first thing to do when a national crisis happens like that.” Liz rolled her eyes, turning away from the two guards and sitting on her ‘bed’. “And there’s a very low chance they even have giant robots as well.”

“Hey! The Canterlot army is the best!” The saving guard yelled. “Captain Shining Armor trained us.”

“Oh yeah? And how was he against me?”

“Last we saw him at the Crystal Empire, he was taking a nice nap after being punched by a one-inch version of John. Just imagine when we’re normal size, or bigger.” She said, mostly acting on the ‘normal size’ part since she knew they were average at that state, with nothing but their fighting abilities to rely on. They swore they could hear a crowd go “OOOHHH!!!” after that roast.

“So, unless you two don’t want to be having an unscheduled nap time, you should at least tell us where our suits are being held?” She said, hoping the threat would be enough for the guards to spill the beans.

“Do that, and your sentence will be even longer!” The first guard yelled.

“They're in the throne room.” Shining Armor’s voice broke out, followed by the stallion entering. “No need to fight. It'll make your case worse.”

“Freaking, finally! That’s all I wanted to know. And now I’m satisfied for now.” Liz said with a small smile before she leaned against the wall on her bed and crossed her legs. “So when will we be able to leave this cell?”

“Right now. I'll do everything I can to prove you're both innocent, but you must show respect to Celestia and the other high members… even if some aren't exactly nice.”

“Uh oh, looks like you need to stay quiet.” John shrugged Liz.

“The same goes for you, Mr. ‘You like Jazz’.” She said, glaring at him as it also was a sign of no goofing around.

“What's wrong with Jazz?” Shining asked.

“Ooh! Ya like Jazz?” John asked. Liz groaned and facepalmed herself.

~-~-~

Outside of the castle, crowds of ponies gathered to take a peek inside to see the royal court case between the Thief heroes, Ant-Man and The Wasp. While a few didn't exactly trust them, the mass majority, especially those from Manehatten, were on their side, demanding their freedom. But parting through the crowd, sticking out, was a pair of ponies wearing Hazmat suits. A dozen guards guarding the main entrance saw them approach, unsure what to do. One of guards approached to the pair.

“Halt! Who goes there!?” He ordered.

“Fear not, good sir,” The left Hazmat pony spoke. “ We are from the Equestrian Research in Whinniesota.”

“Princess Celestia contacted us to see how our stranger’s suits exactly work, and if they should share it with the public, or it needs to be destroyed.” The other added.

“Hmm… care to explain why Celestia didn't care to explain your arrival?” The guard asked.

“The same reason as to how they arrived, buster! Last minute that needs answering!”

“Our scientific minds will help us all advance in more ways than one.” His partner added. “We certainly can't let it go to waste, can we?”

“Uh… I guess not.” The guard replied. “I'll tell Celestia you're here.”

“No need for that! We must see their suits, pronto!” They stormed right in.

~-~-~

John and Liz stood in the throne room, surrounded by ponies and various other creatures. Sitting on the throne was the tallest pegacorn, with a white coat and a multicolored mane that moved on its own, with no wind blowing anywhere inside. She certainly dressed up like royalty, wearing a golden tiara, necklace, and boots… despite being naked everywhere else.

“Is she really a princess, or a queen?” John asked in a whisper to Liz.

“I don’t think we have to wait long. Don’t they usually address the judge or something?” Liz said, trying to recall the Judge Judy show to figure out if that was true.

“She is the judge.” Shining Armor answered. “But she's fair. Ruling over Equestria for more than a thousand years has made her wise.”

“...She’s that old!?” John asked. “I mean… wow! She's so… young looking… for her age, of course.”

“I call plastic surgery or magic equivalent to that,” Liz said, figuring that if they didn’t have the technology, they might have the magic. Some horns were blown, as an announcer wearing royal garbs spoke up.

“Hear ye, hear ye! Court is now in session for the sentencing of Ant-Man and The Wasp! Defending them is Prince Shining Armor! Against them is Princess Twilight-”

“I stand down my case!” Twilight announced, making the grows gasp. “Princess Celestia, please, hear me out. I caused them to commit these crimes we put them on trial for. My assumptions about them wanting to take over Equestria blinded me when they actually needed help. I beg of you to not punish them harshly!” Celestia gave a curious look, but a warm smile.

“Well, Twilight, you certainly made this trial much shorter than needed.” She spoke in a motherly tone. “For you both, I sentence the both of you to-”

“OBJECTION!!!” A pair of voices yelled. The crowd gasped upon seeing a pair of ponies in Hazmat suits enter.

“Wait… they're in a medieval kingdom, but know radiation?” John asked, clearly confused.

Liz only shrugged but was more curious about why they were wearing those suits, and why they were objecting the trial to end on a good note for the two. The two trotted into the courtroom.

“With respect, your majesty,” One of the two spoke. “We need to verify if their suits are actually user-friendly and not toxic in any way.”

“Toxic?” John asked. “Uh, excuse me, but we've been in those suits for days actually… and I don't think we showered, now that I think of it.”

“YOU sir, may be immune,” The other pony spoke, putting a bag on their table “but to US ponies, you're likely to cause an epidemic!”

“Epidemic? If you want to know about the suits, wouldn’t us, the owners and only wearers of those suits give more information?” Liz said, looking back at the white pegacorn. “And you can’t mess with those, they are more dangerous in the ha-er, hooves of someone who doesn’t know how it works.” She explained.

“Please, relax,” Celestia spoke. “As much as you may not like it, I will allow them to inspect your suits to see if it has strange effects on anypony or creature.” She gestured to her staff, who trotted away before returning with their suits, folded neatly on a cart.

Liz wished that she could bite her tongue, but recalling how dangerous the suits were, she couldn’t keep her mouth shut. “I’m sorry your highness, but those suits belong to us. And as the proper owners, I disapprove of this action. And since it’s clear that we’re innocent with any crimes we might’ve done, you have no right to take something that doesn’t belong to you, or accept anyone else from taking it.” Liz said, trying to convince the princess otherwise. “Please princess, if they break or anything, then how will you be able to repair something that you don’t even know how it works. And they are linked to how we got here, so if they break, we might never get back home.” She added, knowing that any human would just break it apart, but recalling what happens in the movies, they didn’t want to be the cause of some creature’s death.

“Very likely story,” the Hazmat pony observing the suits replied. “but these were OUR SUITS!!!”

“What!?” Celestia yelled.

“What!?” Shining and Twilight yelled.

“WHAT!?!?!?” John and Liz yelled.

“What!?” An ant shouted.

“Indeed! Look!” He pulled a scanner and held it over the suits, where it made loud clicks. “You hear that, folks!? These two are slowly poisoning you with their radiation!”

“Indeed, I can see a few sick ponies among us.” The other added. “This was one of the original test suits that proved fatal to the user! We tried to dispose of them safely, but we were attacked by THEM!!!” He pointed at John and Liz accusingly. “Don't believe their lies! They may have saved you physically, but as of right now, you're all in danger and need to be cleaned, quickly!”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Liz shouted, clearly upset about all these accusations. “If you two made the suits, then why were they made for our bodies and not for a pony?” She asked the obvious. “And I highly doubt humans are common here, we’re the only two here as far as we know.”

“Alas, it is true. Our higher-ups weren't exactly ethical, something we've hated seeing.”

“The used monkeys to see if it would work or not,” The other added “sadly… they all failed.”

“Not the monkeys!” A pony in the crowd screamed.

Liz stayed quiet, thinking for a moment before she came up with a plan. “Fine then. If you did so call ‘made them’, then how do you use them?” She simply asked. “And what is the source on how it works. And the simple magic trope won’t convince anyone here. Right?”

“Ah-ah-ah! We never said WE made them, only our higher-ups did.”

“WE are responsible for handling dangerous material and delivering them to specific locations.” The other added. “All of which was ruined by you two!”

Liz was now fed up with the two, but she knew she couldn’t try and stop them physically unless she wanted to seem more like a bad guy, and ruin her and John’s chances of not being sent back to the cell. All she could do was look back at John, almost pleading to him to do something that she couldn’t do herself. He noticed and stood up, the crowd gasping as he stretched.

“Alright, all of this sounds convincing and whatnot, but why would your higher-ups make suits that shrink to the size of a bug?”

“To explore areas we could never visit, of course! See minerals in closer detail, explore the body to battle diseases, even make space by building small homes for everypony to live in to avoid overpopulation.”

“See, now there's the problem; why would one of the suits be able to fly, when some ponies here obviously have wings, and it shoots lasers that can melt through steel?”

“Uh… to help earth ponies to experience being an alicorn.” The other pony hesitantly added. John walked ahead.

“Right… and does the helmet of the red suit communicate with ants?”

“Indeed it does!” The first of the Hazmat pair replied. “Cheap labor when it comes to building the new small homes!” It was then that John began to chuckle a bit, before going into a full crazed laughter.

“Oh my god! You're both so wrong!” He reached behind his ear and pulled out a small, hearing aid looking device. “The helmet does not control the ants! It just processes oxygen to the user to help them breathe so they don't suffocate! THIS influences ants to do what I say!” He placed it back on before whistling. Crawling in through the doors after a few minutes was a swarm of ants, making everypony scream as they surrounded John, who stood straight with the biggest grin he could muster. The ants shaped themselves to become a statue of him. “See? I can control these ants with my mind alone, but I tend to speak with my small friends, isn't that right guys?”

“Of course, good sir.” The ants clicked to make the voice of John as their statue of him nodded. He patted his Ant-Statue’s back.

“And that, mares and… what's the term?”

“Gentlecolts,” Celestia replied.

“Gentlecolts is why my friend and I, while guilty of stealing stuff, are in no way, guilty of this obvious fake crime made up by some greedy pair that wants to steal what's rightfully ours to market off our success on something that will doom you all!” He sat back on his seat and leaned back, his feet on the chair as the ants turned into a graduation cap on his head. “Boom, baby.” Everything was silent.

“... Uh… look at the time!” The first Hazmat pony spoke, “It's time for us to go!”

“Uh, yes, it's…” The other added, sweating underneath his helmet. “LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!!!” The two ran out of throne room.

“Told you this world’s guards and security sucked.” Liz thought out loud, crossing her arms as she knew she couldn’t trust anyone but herself and John.

“Ahem.” Celestia cleared her throat. “Well… that was quite the show there, Mr…”

“John.” He answered. “And she's Liz.”

“Hmm… interesting. But, for your crimes in stealing blueprints from the weather factory and some shards of the Crystal Heart, but heroically saving Manehatten from Ex-Dragon Lord Torch, I, Princess Celestia, sentence the two of you…” A dramatic pause was made. The two leaned forward. “Ten Thousand Hours of Community service.” The crowd was silent.

“... I guess that's fair. That's about… let's see here… six and a half years of work.”

“It’s around forty days.” Liz simply said, rolling her eyes at how dumb her partner was thinking.

“Your sentence will be shorter because both of your individual hours will be combined.” Celestia continued. “And neither of you are correct.”

“No wait, it’s not forty days, I think it’s four hundred and sixteen days.” Liz corrected herself, knowing that her math isn’t wrong.

“Are we going to get our suits back?” John asked.

“After you both complete 24 hours,” Celestia answered.”then you'll get your suits back.”

“What are we even supposed to do in those twenty-four hours?” Liz asked the obvious, kind of dreading what it could be. Shining Armor nudged her.

“I've got a few things you can do.” He insisted.

~-~-~

Both the fake scientists took a breath in the forest just outside of Canterlot.

“That… was a close one.” The mustached one spoke.

“Indeed…” His brother replied. “We were so close!”

“Ah, but we are!” He pulled the scanner out and spun a nozzle. A piece of paper came out.

“Brother! Is that-?”

“An X-Ray scan of their suits? Indeed it is!”

“Oh, just genius of you, dear brother!”

“Now all we need is to find some test subjects to see if it will work.”

“Hmm… ten thousand bits to the one who survives?”

“That will work.”

Comments

[Napalm monster]

“What!?” Celestia yelled.
“What!?” Shining and Twilight yelled.
“WHAT!?!?!?” John and Liz yelled.
“What!?” An ant shouted.

Oooooooh, excuse me, I need to go and tape my ass back to my hips, I seem to have laughed it off

[NAH223445566]

¿De dónde sacaron la carne?