Solid start, like the fact were avoiding the initial contact. Is fun but over done. Lot of depth got put on display so far and nice little hook to keep me checking back. You sir still got it.

10693022
Thank you for the comment! Let's me know I'm doing something right. Do you mean just building up to the 5th guy was over done? Or was it the tension between Trevor and Krystal?

10693636 oh no, I meant the first encounter sthick is an over done troupe. I should have made that clearer. I'm saving my opinion on the new guy until I see the pay off. Definitely enjoyed the awkwardness between Krystal and trevor hits just those right notes of awkward, longing and wistfullness. This really hits a mood you dont see as much in stories on fim the somber acceptance. There stuck and made a new home but still hold the sadness for what was lost.

10693884
Thank you for elaborating on that!
That's the thing I try to build with my stories. I'm more about the "after". Like, after they've got a life going. After learning what they need to succeed and be a productive member of society. So I can skip all the usual stuff and get right to the good parts.

New guy feels like he's coming on a bit too strong right now in my next chapter. I'm trying to tone him down.

Curious...