Hinka Gets Shot By The Sheriff (Or, The Doctor Vs. Alien Kid)
Link did as he was told and went to his room without supper that night. He apologized to Spike who, in turn, was made to apologize back to him. Neither boy looked at each other.
He eyed his items and wondered if he should leave. He started to think of Fluttershy. If he left he would leave her behind too in favor of being alone once more. At least if he found Navi there would be some closure.
His stomach growled, but he remained stoic. It was not his first time going to bed without supper. He once went a week and a half with virtually no food. Then there were all the times he went through the same three days in Termina without eating. Enough was enough when Tatl took note of how much weight he had dropped in his time there. She made him stop and take a three day cycle to rest, eat, and refresh himself.
He knew it would never be that bad here. His not eating in Termina was more due to how badly he wanted to fix everything there. He simply kept forgetting to eat. The week and a half without eating was due to a famine in Kokiri Forest. In a rare show of kindness, Mido, known for having an extensive storage of preserved meats, invited the village to take some. Even Link.
The famine ultimately ended following a deluge of cleansing rain from the heavens that may or may not have been brought forth by a certain ocarina after it had been recovered from a particularly excellent hiding spot.
There was a knock on the door. He frowned. Had Fluttershy heard? She wasn't going to tell him she was disappointed in him, was she? Sue him. When Spike attacked him, he suddenly found himself in a fight with Mido again. It wasn't until Spike surrendered that he fully understood what he was doing. Until then, he had just been reacting.
"Hinka?" asked a certain baby dragon through the door. "Can I come in a sec?"
Link was surprised. It was one of the first times Spike actually knocked on the door.
"Yes," he replied. The doorknob turned, and in came the drake. He shut the door behind him and looked around nervously.
Under one arm was a yellow box of some kind.
"Hey," said Spike. "I uhh... figured you might be hungry. I brought some cookies. Don't tell Twilight."
Link eyed the box dubiously. He and the dragon had just gotten into a fight. He wasn't exactly in a blind trust type of mood yet.
Things eased somewhat when Spike grabbed a few bite sized cookies from the box and tossed them into his mouth. He offered the box itself to Link, who took it with a smile and nod.
Spike rubbed the back of his neck.
"So, uhh... sorry for lying earlier. You know, about our whole fight. It was messed up of me. And also the fight itself. I should have tried to help you pick the books up, not jump to conclusions. Twi raised me better than that."
Link listened quietly while he munched on one of the cookies.
"I uhh... was hoping to ask about how you hurt me in the fight."
Link cringed.
Spike waved his claws at Link and shook his head. "No! I'm not fishing for an apology or anything. I mean seriously. It was like you just poked me and suddenly my arm was asleep. How did you do that?"
Link looked at his hands.
"Pressure points," he said. Spike stared blankly. Link did not know the Equish words yet.
He cleared his voice, and tried again to clarify:
"Pain spots. Bad hurt when struck. No lot of force needed. Part of my home combat."
"And the thing with your leg?" asked Spike. "That was scary. How did you do that?"
Link smiled mournfully.
"I know. Bad one. I been in it before. Know by my people as Gate of Tartarus1
"It's really that bad?" gasped the drake. Hinka nodded.
"It painful. Fully stop everything. No breathing. No swallowing. Make bleed from mouth. Not you. I no lock in all the way. You pass out if I do. Very very difficult to escape if not know what doing."
Spike blinked.
"Do you know more moves?"
L
ink nodded. "Many. Gate of Tartarus not as reliable as it is dangerous."
"Can you show me the move again?"
There was a question. Link could absolutely show him. But he wasn't sure he wanted to trust Spike with that move. Unlike some of the other grappling holds Link was familiar with, the Gogoplata/Hell's Gate did not have a specific reversal that he was aware of. A battle-savy opponent could try to move their head to relieve some of the pressure, but that was always hit and miss. If the move wasn't locked in properly against a well-trained opponent, it was useless. Once it was properly locked in, you usually had to fight out with force, and that is extremely difficult to do when you're slowly suffocating.
Then again, Spike's legs were pretty stubby.
Link shrugged. "Dangerous move. Can kill. I faint in it a few times."
Spike's eyes widened. So, it was true. Hinka knew how to kill. He heard Rainbow mutter about it to Fluttershy back when Hinka was still very new and very unknown to most of them. Dash was concerned that he would harm somepony, but Fluttershy suggested that he wasn't the type to do so without just cause.
"Have you ever killed anypony?" asked Spike.
A silence stretched between them. Link offered Spike one of the cookies and then took one for himself. He gave a nod of approval at it.
"Good cookies," he said.
He and Spike ended their little conversation on better terms than they had been since really meeting. They weren't buddy-buddy, but Spike actually seemed impressed that Link won the fight. You earn the respect of a dragon, you've got an ally for life.
When Link beat Mido for the first time, the cocky little tool came up with every excuse in the book as to why he lost. Oh, he cheated! The sun was in my eyes! He used a low blow!
Meanwhile Link had won with a much more reliable move: the triangle choke2. Mido passed out.
The others had come to visit early that morning, and when Fluttershy heard what happened she was predictably upset. She gave Link a frown that just made him wilt and the shake of her head, but she didn't raise her voice at him. Instead, she just told him exactly what he was hoping she wouldn't: "Hinka, I'm not mad. I'm just disappointed in you."
That hurt so much worse.
When Rarity found out, she was quick to chew both of them out.
"Shame on you, Hinka! Honestly, performing such a barbaric act on our little Spikey wikey! And shame on you too Spike for acting like such a foal!"
"Hey, at least I didn't make him bleed," Link almost retorted. He probably would have had he not been half wordless. It was an unfortunate side effect of the gogoplata. When using the proper amount of pressure, the move can cause some internal bleeding, as well as bleeding from the mouth. It was not always serious, but it could alarm the most steadfast of opponent.
Something told him mentioning that would not bode well for his continued good health. Especially not in front of almighty fashion horse.
Pinkie Pie seemed really sad. She had brought pastries with her to the castle and now was withholding them from both Hinka and Spike. Twilight told her it was no trouble, as Hinka needed to go to the doctor soon anyway for a fast test. She honestly seemed more upset that she couldn't feed them sweets.
Rainbow Dash was the only one that was actually a little impressed with Hinka's move. She put on a mask of disapproval with the others, but when she got to Hinka, she nudged him with an arm and whispered, "That move sounds awesome. You have to show me some time."
Link didn't share her excitement. It was a painful choke hold that made him cough up blood on two occasions and killed one of Ganondorf's mothers3. There was nothing awesome about it.
It wasn't even his preferred choke. Link much preferred the triangle choke or the rear naked choke. Both invoked the cutting off of blood as well as air, allowing for a quicker victory. At least, when your opponent had the proper neck. Spike's was too small for a proper triangle, for instance, so he went with the gogoplata instead, which, in spite of its showiness, only cut off air.
Link scowled at his reflection as he washed his face. The mirror was presenting him with his teenager face. 16 year old Link, the Hero of Time and destroyer of Ganondorf and his minions. He saw his own cold blue eyes; hidden behind them were scars that could never heal.
"Hinka? You need to hurry!"
Twilight, true to her word, had prepped a doctor's appointment for him. He was starving. She told him he could eat when they got back to the castle, but then he had chores to do. More than usual. She wanted him to dust, pull some weeds, water the plants in front of the castle, and deliver a bucket of letters to the post office. Afterwards, she wanted him back with her so they could go over some more Equish words.
Downstairs, Twilight called for him again.
"Hinkaaaaa! Time to go!"
Link looked at his reflection one more time. His youthful, nine year old self stared back at him. The physical scars he earned in the future did not follow him back in time. If one were to look at the boy from a distance, he or she would see a standard human child with no outstanding characteristics. That said nothing of the mental issues he knew he possessed.
To look into his eyes would bring to light the scars that he did bring back with him from his trials in the future. Humans cannot hide their emotional or mental trauma. True humans cannot, at least.
Some humans ain't human.
They never ceased to amaze him.
By now he was very used to seeing the strange contraptions that cool down houses. The Castle did not house the machines in the windows, however, but in the walls. Twilight said something about "Central Air," but it made little sense to Link. The air in the Castle was all over the place. Not just in the center.
The doctor's office was quite cool as well. When he entered he was greeted by a desk in the middle of a large room. The room had two seating sections. One had many toys and games for small foals to play with; the other a few books, board games, and a TV, presumably for the older children.Twilight smiled at him and directed him to the latter while she did some paperwork.
A grey pegasus with misaligned eyes smiled at him. By now many ponies around town had accepted him. There were still a few wary looks to be had, but the one who really accepted him with no qualms right away besides Fluttershy was the mailmare; the very same that was smiling at him now with her small daughter sitting next to her.
He smiled back. Link always had a deep respect for mail carriers. Not just anyone can do that particular job, after all. Ponyville had several letter carriers, whereas Termina only had the one. Poor guy actually lived in the post office. He had a bed there and all and was casing mail for the next day, even with the moon less than six hours away from impacting.
Link couldn't get too far into his musings, however. He was approaching the two when the mailmare's daughter projectile vomited onto the seat he was just about to take. Suddenly Link was less inclined to sit there. He didn't want to get some kind of weird horse illness.
It was just as well, for the mailmare (Link had to remember to ask for her name sometime) promptly picked up her child and hurried off to a nearby restroom.
"...Okay, I guess standing is the way to go," said Twilight. Link jolted a bit at her voice. Despite being a little fat, she really knew how to tiptoe around when she needed to.
Twilight smiled down again at him. "How is your leg? You can sit on my back if you need rest."
Link shook his head. His leg actually didn't even hurt a little at the moment. He took a step back as the stale smell of vomit began to reach his nostrils. Twilight's nose scrunched up as well.
It was about that point that two janitors scurried in to take care of the vomit. It was offending their princess! They couldn't have that happen. She knew Celestia and Luna, therefore it was only a matter of time before she was taught how to imprison those who earned her ire. Or banish them. Or imprison them in the place she banished them!
It was a cacophony of apologies and janitors being the best vomit cleaners they could be. Instead of impressing Twilight, however, they just thoroughly confused her.
When it was taken care of, they each bowed low before her and vanished. She leaned in towards an equally confused Hinka.
"...I'm not entirely sure those ponies work here."
Doctors were much different in Equestria than in Hyrule, Link learned.
Most ailments in Hyrule were treated by herbal remedies or tonics. It depended on the unwell party. Hylians and Gerudo, for instance, used many potions and powders made from ground up medicinal herbs. Gorons would burn up their own medicinal salves in magma baths, which they would relax in. The Zora had a special bath full of water with impressive healing properties, and the Deku were known to simply lie out in nature and bask in sunlight and rain.
Link carried around a small bag of smelling salts4 just in case. Not for him. You can't use them while you yourself are unconscious after all. It was just... you never knew in Hyrule when you might come across someone that really needed help, and one thing that Link loved to do was help people.
Doctors offices were mainly used to figure out what was wrong, and then it was a matter of giving the patient the salve he or she needed.
One thing Hyrule's doctors and Equestria's had in common, however, was the terrible artwork.
Seriously. What is it about doctors and clowns? Link hated clowns, and he was pretty sure most sane children did as well. Even Ganondorf allegedly hated clowns. Also cucumbers, but that's neither here nor there.
Equestria, while it still had its share of herbal remedies and salves (such as those used to patch him up), also relied heavily on technology, sharp needles, and bright lights.
Link never had a checkup before. Thankfully Twilight was allowed to sit with him while they waited for the doctor. A fake pony skeleton was set up in the corner, prompting Twilight to chuckle. Last year for Nightmare Night, she transformed herself into a lich and posed as one such skeleton model near a few garbage cans, as if she herself were trash. Whenever a pony passed by, she would turn her head and start talking to them.
"Hey, what's up?"
"Fine weather, isn't it?"
"Does this stand make my butt look big?"
"I have no bones about being boney."
She scared the daylights out of Rainbow Dash and even got Discord himself to recoil. It was hilarious.
Hinka was eyeing her curiously. She ruffled his hair.
"I'll tell you later. Now you tell me: how are you feeling about Ponyville?"
He blinked, then shrugged.
"Come now. You've been here for a bit now. What do you think?"
Link inwardly sighed. He was going to end up having to use his words again. Darn it.
"It nice. Strange but nice. I like smaller towns like this."
Twilight smiled. "You struck me as a small town colt. Never lived in a big city?"
He shook his head. Clock Town was a big city; bigger than Castle Town. He didn't like it that much. Too busy, and with the moon staring at everyone from just overhead...
"Maybe one day I can take you to Canterlot. See the sights, or my family. Maybe you'll see something you like! Hay, maybe my BBBFF could visit too!"
She smiled at him again.
"My brother will love you."
Link eyed her. "You have brother?"
She nodded. "I do! His name is Shining Armor. He's the Prince of the Crystal Empire, was a captain of the royal guard, and I'm also pretty sure he owns an appliance store. I can't be certain, but it makes sense. Why else would he have so many toaster ovens...?"
"Saria was the high captain of the Kokirian guard," he said to himself in Hylian. Twilight blinked.
"Hinka, say again? Equish please?"
He shook his head slightly. He didn't feel like talking.
Twilight frowned. "Please?"
Argh, the eyes. The puppy dog eyes each pony was so capable of pulling off! They were his one weakness! He probably would have caved and let Ganondorf have Hyrule had he employed such an underhanded tactic.
Sigh. "Saria. Kind of like big sister to me. She captain of our guard. Taught me almost everything I know."
He smiled. She truly was a great mentor. It was Saria that taught him to defend himself, and she honed his skills. It was she who perfected his triangle choke. An untrained opponent hoping to win by sheer strength, size, or intimidation alone would be in for a rude awakening. Or slumber, as the case may be.
It was thanks to Saria that he learned how to wield a blade, thanks to her that he learned the importance of a shield, thanks to her that he learned his survival skills in the wild.
It was thanks to her that he survived as the Hero of Time and savior of Termina at all.
Since her awakening as a Sage, she had to spend much of her time in the Sacred Forest Meadow praying. She was rarely ever seen around Kokiri Village anymore, and would only fleetingly answer Link's calls through her mystical song.
He did run into her fairy a few times in passing, however. Ko always told him that Saria was doing well and that she missed him dearly. Link remembered. The day he left on his fated journey and ended up here he encountered her again. He asked Ko to tell Saria that he loved her.
"She best friend. Raised me. Teach me respect nature and take only what needed. Teach me to fight and protect. How to play music. How to survive alone."
He held his hat in his hands and traced circles in it with his thumbs.
"How to do most everything."
"You miss her, huh?" asked Twilight. Link was silent for a moment.
"She make this hat for me."
Twilight draped a wing over his shoulders, as if he were upset. He wasn't really. He knew she was doing something very important. He just wished he could see her more often.
Heck, he would settle for just talking with her through the innate magic of the ocarina she gave him. Her song never worked on the Ocarina of Time. Unfortunately, the plain fairy ocarina was still very much broken.
"Need to fix instrument," he whispered. "She gave to me."
"It sounds like you really love her, Hinka. She sounds like a good pony. Err, human."
He smiled slightly.
"Tell you what: Why don't I set up a trip to Canterlot in a few days? Maybe the Princesses know of a way to fix your instrument? Don't get your hopes too high, but if anypony could do it, it's them."
He looked up at Twilight.
"You do for me?" he asked. She smiled.
"That's what friends do. They care about each other."
Link eyed her silently for a moment, then asked, "You care about me?"
Twilight smiled.
"Of course I do. You're a friend. You did something wrong last night, but everyone makes mistakes. Just ask Discord. If he ever turns up again, anyway."
...Who is Discord? Before he could voice his question, the door opened again. A very thick horse waddled into the room. It was a unicorn with a brown coat, glasses, and a small head. He was levitating a clipboard before him while he walked in, and then locked eyes on Link, and then Princess Twilight.
He froze for a second, then shrugged and lost interest. "I'm Doctor Peabody. I'll be performing your check up today," he uttered in a monotone.
Twilight blinked. Hinka blinked. Pinkie blinked. Peabody blinked. Saria blinked. Dusk Shine blinked. Some fuck named Dewey even blinked.
In her time as Princess, Twilight had grown accustomed to ponies she knew before ascension treating her like she was a Goddess herself. She wasn't. She was really extra sure she wasn't. She was just really good with magic.
When she needed a good and/or service, the provider gave it to her and more, usually as a trembly jello-legged mess who could barely string together sentences.
This doctor was one of the only ponies she didn't have to tell not to treat her any differently. He really didn't care. Complete zero fucks mindset.
He seemed to be reading her mind, for he shook his head. "You're not the weirdest thing I've seen today."
If an alien and a princess aren't the weirdest things to come through these doors today, then...
She decided she didn't want to know. Where in Tartarus was Discord, anyway?
Link was very much used to pain.
Be it physical or emotional, he knew it well. In his formative years he was just as sensitive to the stuff as any other normal child. Years upon years of fighting with his fellow Kokiri, wondering why he was the only boy without a fairy, yearning for parents that he did not have or know all changed things.
Link's mental pain was locked in a near perpetual stalemate with his own inner strength. A normal broken child could be consumed by depression and anger. Not Link. He fought tooth and nail every step of the way. He did whatever he could to give himself just enough of what he wanted; just enough happiness to keep himself from being gobbled up. He was very, very good at fighting and absorbing such pain, though he also believed it meant he was poisoning himself.
As for physical pain, Link was once hit in the head with a glass jar. It already had a crack in it, or else it wouldn't have broken on impact with the side of his head. His face was knocked to the side, but he made little noise. Instead, he slowly turned his head to look at his attacker, a now very nervous looking Mido.
What happened next put the snotty little shit to bed rest for two weeks.
It was possible to surprise Link and earn some pained screams from him. A brutal enough injury would cause them as well.
A needle in his arm was not a brutal enough injury. He even watched as it went in and his blood came out into the attached tube. He didn't even blink.
Twilight, however, failed to get the memo. In her eyes, he was a child, and children hated getting blood work done. She sat next to him the entire time, stroking his head and whispering soothingly to him.
"Be calm. Be calm. Be calm," she kept echoing to him.
"If I get any calmer, you're going to have to revive me off the floor," he muttered in Hylian.
Apparently Twilight's ears were sensitive, because she shushed him. "Don't shout. It's going to be over soon. Then you can have a nice lollipop!"
Link hated lollipops.
The procedure did not take very long. Link was complimented by the doctor for being a "big colt" about the whole thing.
Meanwhile, three rooms down a foal was screaming like he was being butchered. Link couldn't help but feel a pang of pity for the child. Though he himself was too broken above screaming like that over a small needle, he still knew discomfort and children often did not mix well.
When he was offered the lollipop (he HATED them), he refused it and pointed to the door separating the hall from the wailing child.
For the first time since he met the big horse, Doctor Peabody smiled. "You want to give him your lollipop?"
He nodded.
"Are you sure?"
Another nod.
"Positive?"
He blinked.
The doctor tucked the candy away in his coat's breast pocket.
"You're a very generous young colt. I'll be sure to get it to him."
He didn't feel very generous. He just didn't want the lollipop. They were basically just candy stuck to garbage. He was generously giving away his candy-garbage hybrid.
Twilight, however, didn't see it that way. She was positively beaming at him.
"I'm very proud of you for being so well behaved today, Hinka."
He looked up at her as they walked along. She smiled back down at him.
"You're no longer punished. Just be sure you don't do that sort of thing again. You really scared Spike."
Link rubbed his arm sheepishly.
"Having said that, how about we go to a diner? Just you and I."
"What's a diner?" he asked. Twilight flinched, but regained herself. With a smile, she levitated him onto her back.
"I'll show you."
Link remembered his first time spending a rest period at the Stock Pot Inn.
It all started when the Innkeeper, a kind red head named Anju, asked if he had a reservation. Link had been about to respond with the shake of his head, when Tatl blurted out, "Yes!"
Anju visibly relaxed.
"You do have a reservation? That's good. What is the name?"
Link opened his mouth to say that there was a misunderstanding, when Tatl again cut in.
"Link."
Anju began to look through a notebook. "Ah! Mr. Link. We have you booked until the day after the Carnival. Your room is the 'Knife Chamber' upstairs."
Link eyed her in confusion, then looked at Tatl, who didn't even seem fazed. He figured she snuck away and ordered a room for him or something. He figured that, if she could get into a screaming match with a mad wolfos (and win), she could get a room reservation at an Inn with no spots available.
The room was large. Two beds, a fireplace, a small bookcase, a nightstand, and a table.
A table with Link's first meal in ages. The boy all but dropped his equipment and walked right up to the food. It was still hot.
There was a soup, some bread, chicken, peas, and a baked potato.
It was disgusting. The chicken was dry as a bone, the soup tasted like salt, the bread was doughy in the middle, the peas were peas, and the baked potato had nothing on it. Link scarfed it down anyway, but it was anything but a satisfactory meal. He was sure to thank Anju regardless.
Fortunately for the boy, Anju was not the cook at this 'diner' of Twilight's. It was a bustling building with enough windows to be mistaken for a fish bowl. Music blasted out of the ceiling; tunes that Twilight's parents had been fans of when they were young. Veritable golden oldies.
"I love this place," said Twilight. "It practically screams vintage! The food is amazing too."
The two of them were directed to a booth. On the opposite end of the diner was another music machine. Fluttershy had one too; she called it a jukebox.
Twilight chuckled. "When I was young, my big brother and I went to a diner like this. They had a jukebox too. We put in a bunch of money and selected one single song 21 times. Then we ordered and waited for the chaos to unfold."
She grinned. "It was great."
Link gave a shy smile. Beside them, a bored looking stallion filled two glasses with water and left them at the table. Twilight opened a menu, but Link did not. He stared blankly at his. For all his progress in Equish, he was still missing many written words.
Twilight was about to begin reading aloud to him when the swell dressed yet still very bored looking stallion approached.
"Welcome to the Salt Lick. I'll be your server today. My name's Mr. Sir. Can I interest you in some of our specials for the day?"
Twilight was surprised. Another pony not showering her with praise and reverence that they figured she demanded? She was proud of him for his indifference!
"I think we would like that. Tell us!"
The waiter opened up a small black book and read for a moment.
"Okay, so we have Lobster Thermaredor. Excellent seasoning, cooked to perfection. Delicious."
Mr. Sir looked to the two for a moment, then continued.
"We have a gay lentil salad as well with frozen head of fish. The eyeballs are in there and the skeleton's popping out. It comes with a turnip and a spork."
Link looked to Twilight to make sure he was correctly hearing the waiter. She looked equally perplexed.
"We've also got stunned, but still alive wallaby. What they do is, they get a wallaby into the kitchen, and they stun it real good. It comes out still alive of course. It just doesn't know where it is."
"That doesn't sound legal," said Twilight.
"I'm not done yet. We have lamb killed by fire. They shave the wool off first, then take it into the lamb fire chamber. This way you can taste the fear."
The waiter turned the page in his black book.
"We have a delicious nacho selection. Basically just chips, five cheeses, some sour cream, salsa, and avocado. It's very popular."
Twilight smiled. "That sounds delicious. What else do you have?"
"Ah, there's also fries quatro queso dos fritos. Potatoes beer battered and injected with a five cheese mixture. It's almost too much for the standard palatte to handle. It's like a flavor seizure."
He shut his book for a moment.
"Just make sure you eat them all here. They do not travel well."
Twilight smiled. "I think we'll take that! What do you think, Hinka?"
Link smiled and gave a small nod.
"I have one more special to read off to you. We have..."
The stallion opened up his black book again, and was silent for a moment while his eyes traced the page. He was quiet for near a minute before he piped up again.
"...face."
"Let's go with the fries. Also, can you tell the manager I need to speak with him about some of these specials?"
Link was blown away by the food. It was very greasy too. He didn't feel comfortable eating too much food with so much grease on it.
It was only an appetizer too. His meal itself was a steak imported from a faraway land whose bovines were not sentient. Equestria, in spite of being a land mostly of vegetarians, was sure to import meats for its carnivorous inhabitants too. No such meat was from sapient creatures, though the specials that day might suggest otherwise.
The owner came out and explained to Twilight that the strange appetizers were a practical joke/game for patrons. If you chose one of the strange appetizers you were to get a free dessert. Or be reported to the police. One of the two.
All in all, it was a good lunch that did not require Link to gut and clean his meal before cooking it, and his golden rule was, if he didn't have to gut or clean something, it was a good day.
The first raindrops began to fall.
End of Chapter
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I think some of those specials were just 'impractical'
9175127
*rimshot intensifies*
Some fuck named Dewey even blinked.
LoL
I laughed so hard when I read that.