Rising Up

by epicdonus1123 BOT

"The Quartet"

Chapter 1

"Hey Vinyl, catch!" eager little Lyra spoke while she threw a water balloon with her hoof. She lost her balance and fell over.

"Haha, Lyra...Lyra!" Vinyl Scratch ran over to aid her.

"Don't worry, Scratch, I'm okay!"

"Oh thank goodness; I thought that I'd have to do all that sympathy stuff!"

"Could you two quiet down over there, please?" Octavia pardoned in an etiquette tone.

"Lighten up, Octy, they're just horsing around." Strocca stated.

"Yes I know, but it is disturbing my once peaceful reading."

"What are you reading that is so important?"

"'A Pony's Guide to the Cello' by-"

"Yeah yeah, I don't need to know the author, I'm just wondering where you got that book."

"It's not a book; it is a instruction manual, and I got it at Corns and Noble's." Lyra and Scratch got up to see the so called "instruction manual".

"Woah, this looks legit!" Vinyl announced loudly.

"That is because it is."

"Can I see it!?" Lyra asked.

"You cani] see it."

"Will you let me?"

"No."

"Why not!?"

"Because it needs to be in mint condition; when was the last time you washed your hooves?"

"Ugh..."

"Exactly." Her musically-psyched friends started to peer down every word on each page, studying like it was a test. None of them had their cutie marks yet, which really stunk. They knew that theirs would have to do with music; anywhere from a solo act to an orchestra. Music was the one thing that set them apart at their school, eventually making it a new "label". The other fillies and colts called them "The Quartet" for their strange addiction to harmonize and whatnot. It wasn't an insult because Vinyl, Lyra, Octavia, and Strocca never took it as an insult, obliviously.

"Well that's enough of that." Strocca finally walked away.

"Yeah, same here." Lyra agreed.

"Octy, this book needs some pictures." said the future DJ.

"Okay, your argument is?"

"That it needs pictures." Octavia never answered again; Vinyl went with Strocca and Lyra. They were already tagging each other back and forth. Vinyl just couldn't resist, so she went and joined them. Strocca noticed how much they all differed in their taste for music, except for Vinyl and himself. He loved to listen to techno, Vinyl loved upbeat, Lyra loved soothing, and Octavia loved classical. For these differentiations, Strocca loved to hang out with his friends. He could remember when they first met last year.

FLASHBACK

Now, the shy earth pony had moved to Ponyville from the bustling country of Corna Rica. When he lived in Corna Rica, though, he learned how to play the piano and guitar. He loved to play tennis and boxing, for they were taught to him early. Anyways, he moved to Ponyville with his parents at the age of eight. Questionably, he loved music more than anypony else in his family. He'd tap on things, whistle, blow, buzz, and everything else to produce a sound, which is what he did when he arrived in Ponyville.

"Now Strocca, go to school. We barely made it, for you to go." his dad stated.

"Yes sir." Strocca was a very obedient colt; he set off for the school. He never spoke to anypony that greeted him; he would just ignore them.

"Hi there, newcomer, how are you?" a sudden peep came from Carrot Top. As usual, he ignored her completely. His hike to the school was fairly short, perhaps because he evaded everypony so. In the school, the school teacher was the first to ask a question.

"Hello Strocca! Your parents told me that you were coming. Everypony, this is Strocca!"

"Hello!"

"Hiya!"

"Nice to meet you!"

"Hi there." snickered certain purple and grey fillies.

"How are you?" pondered a seemingly posh, grey, earth filly in the back row. This certain filly caught his eye by the ponies that she was sitting next to, a light teal unicorn and a snowflake unicorn. There was a open seat in front of the posh pony, so Strocca helped himself to sit down. Cheerilee started to teach the lesson for the next few hours. At lunch, that is when The Quartet officially met. Strocca noticed the grey filly sitting next to those unicorns; he decided to go and meet them.

"Hi." he shyly whispered.

"Hiya!" the teal unicorn shrieked.

"What's up?" the other unicorn smoothly said. Strocca caught onto their different greetings; they're probably not from the same part of the country.

"How do you do?" the elegant filly spoke.

"I'm Lyra!" Lyra screeched.

"Vinyl Scratch's the name, music's my game." Vinyl announced.

"Oh, nice t-"

"Wait, Vinyl, don't even try it." Lyra stood up.

"I already did." she coolly snapped back.

"Anyways, who are you?" Strocca pointed his hoof at the last filly.

"Octavia, how are you?"

"Good, how about you?"

"Good." They both stood there in an awkward silence until Lyra spoke up.

"So Strocca, you wanna come and play tag with us!?"

"Sure." Vinyl, Lyra, Strocca, and even elegant Octavia ran towards the field and played.

FLASHBACK OVER

That day was an important day of his life, every moment of it. Being friends for a year has really changed us. Strocca thought. He wanted to save that day and relive it over and over.

"Hey Stroke, what's up?" interrupted Vinyl Scratch.

"Oh, it's nothing."

"I saw you stare at the sky, what do you call that?"

"Nothing."

"Daydreaming?"

"I guess so."

"Yeah, 'I guess so' too." she stated. Vinyl was always on Strocca's case, for she was the last one to trust him when they met. Her stubbornness made her very skeptical of Strocca, so she'd be asking him what he was doing.

"So Vinyl, how have ya been?" Strocca pondered to change the subject.

"Not so bad, you?"

"Same." Lyra and Octavia ran over to the group. They seemed awfully pleased with something.

"Hey Vinyl and Strocca!"

"What?" Vinyl asked. Strocca stood there, quietly.

"Octavia got a genius idea!"

"What is it?"

"I thought that instead of worshipping music, why don't we just embrace it?"

"Sounds like a plan." No rejecting, nor arguing; this doesn't sound like Vinyl. Strocca thought.

Comments

[honeyhoneyhoney]

The character's feel/sound fake. Try reading your story out loud, and imagine if that's how an actual conversation would sound like.

+++
"Hey Vinyl, I have a water balloon in my hoof!" Unfortunately, she fell down.

Vinyl shook her head, giving a small grin.

"Don't worry!!!" The fallen pony squirmed back up. "I'm okay!"

"Yikes. And here I thought I'd have to care..."

"Excuse me," coughed Octavia. She chastised the two ponies. "Please, quiet down."

"Lighten up, Octy." Strocca turned away from the two other ponies. "They're just horsing around."

"I know..." sighed Octavia, "But I can't enjoy myself with all this ruckus."

+++++
I tried to make your first few sentences clearer. BUT even then... the story feels disorganized. At the very least, put enough detail so your readers won't feel lost.

[SpikeDark]

its a good story i can see what your trying to show you need to make it a bit more clear

[Emerald Zweihander]

Nice this story is awsome.Hope i can be just as good.