derpFamous

by KingLazy93

Chapter 1: Beginnings

A nice quiet day is happening in Ponyville and Derpy Hooves is enjoying a relaxing walk around town shopping for muffins and sorts around Ponyville's market center. When she then sees Twilight Sparkle and Spike walking by. Twilight then asks Spike.

“Hey Spike isn’t that Derpy over there?” asked Twilight Sparkle.

“Why yes that’s her, why do you ask Twilight?” said Spike

“Oh I just wanted to show somepony my latest creation” she said. “What would that creation be Twilight?” asked Spike.

“Oh nothing really I just created the first ever teleporting device that can teleport you anywhere without the use of magic!!!”

Spike looked at Twilight with an odd face and said “But Twilight don’t unicorns already know how to teleport?” Twilight said, “Well yes but teleporting takes quite a lot of magic for a unicorn to use and it takes a while to master”.

Spike then says “Oh well that changes things I guess are you gonna show it to the Department of Science or show the others your creation"? Twilight says “Well truth be told I want to test it out on somepony else and not my friends yet”.

Spike surprised says "Why Twilight?, if you want somepony to test it why not ask your friends instead of a complet stranger?"

“Well Spike it wont harm anypony I'm just sure it will just be big boo-boo’s and such, plus: Pinkie, Applejack, and Fluttershy said they all went to Appleloosa to get some stuff for the barn, Rarity went somewhere and Rainbow Dash said she needed a day to practice for the Wonderbolts tryouts”.

“Oh ok, I see and you want Derpy to be the experiment subject don't you?”, said Spike.

Twilight quickly replied to Spike the harmless effects and tested out a book earlier and said it succeeded in traveling to the top of the library and needs to test it out on a pony by teleporting Derpy to Ponyville plaza.

“Ok then I guess there’s no harmful effects if you tested it out on something, but a book is not a living thing Twilight!”

“I know that Spike but I really want to make use of my teleporting device!"

Spike sighed and said “Ok we’ll ask her if she wants to participate in it but don’t blame me if something bad happens to her ok Twilight?”

Twilight said “Ok thanks Spike! “Oh shoot now where did she go?!, “Heh I guess we been talking this whole time we forgot about her asking her, eh Spike? Spiked sighed again “Well let’s just find her and ask her then Twilight.”

And So Twilight Sparkle and Spike went looking for Derpy Hooves
not knowing the risks Twilight Sparkle will soon learn.

Comments

[DreadedCandiru2]

Great. My gut tells me that Derpy would be better off in the one where Twilight Venture's deliberately trying to kill her.

[wackyteen]

commas, this story needs them.

seriously. ;-;

[Dusty the Royal Janitor]

Now we just need to take this story and the one that sticks Rainbow Dash into Prototype and get people to draw them in womens' lingerie.

[SteampunkBrony]

56972

that or a battle royalle

[Xfiles90210]

ze story has potential. Only bad thing is the amount of grammar issues, but those can be fixed quickly.

I like this story even though Derpy is not my favourite pony

[Late Night Delight]

Wow, I like the premise, But you need to improve your grammar and spelling

Continue, please?

[artistwithouttalent]

The grammer in this story grates me so. Also, if I may, you don't have to tell the reader EVERYTHING. Try spicing it up a little, and show them, with your words, what's goin' on. Please continue writing.

[C.R.Martin]

Bad grammar, bad punctuation, bland concept...why are you writing?