All alone

by dragenfire68

no one can hear you scream

Sunset was sitting in the canterlot library, sitting on the bed of books that Twilight used before fall formal, she was looking down, mulling over the events of the last few days, until a dictionary caught her attention, she didn't know why, but she picked it up and leafed to the section containing the word ALONE, Sunset found that word to be the most interesting word that was ever invented, because no matter what language it was translated into, its meaning was never lost, it's meaning was its own, Sunset mused, the fusion of so many other words, each with their meaning, since when you deconstruct the word, you still get the same meaning.

Lone, the word to describe one by itself, the self-contained being aware of the world around them, but no one to share the experience.

One, single, isolated, the lowest number, the last, the number that matters the least, the concept that separated you from everything else.

"You thought that it would last forever didn't you?" a familiar haughty voice said, snapping Sunset from her inner musings, Sunset didn't need to look up to know who it was,

"Why are you here, why don't you leave me be," Sunset said, still looking down, but not reading the page.

"And miss this quality time, I know you see me out of the corner of your eye, you refuse to even give me the courtesy of looking me in the face."

"Why would I give you that, you're the reason I here."

"Hmph, that was your fault, I didn't even exist until you made the decision."

Sunset knew she wasn't gonna get peace and looked up into her demon's face, the twisted features smiling, she was leaning against the bookshelf, leafing through a book, but Sunset knew it wasn't real, if she blinked, the book would still be on the shelf.

"Whatever, you're not even real, I'm done talking to you," Sunset said, causing the demon to turn to ash and blow away in a breeze that didn't exist.

"You can still hear me though, I may not be real but I'm still your inner voice, here you can't shut me out."

Sunset drew her legs into her chest and simply put her head on her knees, hoping her inner voice would go away, but she knew that she was too deep in her Isolation too not inner monologue.

"you never answered my question though, you thought it would last forever didn't you, you thought that your past sin would be forgiven."

"Yes, I did, I thought that spending my time here would make up for your existence."

"Oh you naive fool, you can never make up for it, you can never undo the trauma you inflicted."

"Is this what your gonna do the whole time, just gonna remind me of my mistakes."

"No, you do that enough on your own without my help, I'm just here to extend the offer as I usually do."

"I already told you no."

"Why?"

"because maybe this will blow over, maybe I'll be able to prove I'm innocent."

"Will it even matter, what happens if somehow you are found innocent, what next when the next event like this comes out, and you're the scapegoat."

Sunset didn't answer, because she never could, this didn't stop her demon from launching another barb into her heart.

"Besides, you know that you don't belong here, you never have, you've been living here on borrowed time, and the times up, so its time to check out."

"Everyone belongs somewhere, I just need to continue to have the strength to look."

"But you did look, and you fought for your 'place', but as soon as your place was questioned, you were cast out, no place to call home."

"Maybe I could wait till Twilight opens the portal to Equestria!!" Sunset said, trying in vain to quell the demon that was now teleporting into her vision no matter where she looked, always in front of her.

"You don't belong there either, you threw that away when you choose me over Celestia, besides I bet even Twilight doesn't want you back, if she did, she would have answered your journal by now."

Sunset found she couldn't argue, because the words were true, Sunset had tried many times to ask, no beg for help, but the pages were painfully blank.

"Look, I know that you have reservations, but you know the answer to the question that you ask yourself each time you lay down too sleep or when you have a moment of silence, its why your here talking to me, give in and let go, the passing will be painless, there are many ways."

"But I'm afraid."

"I know, but we have to conquer fear, besides aren't you tired?"

"Why do you seek our death?"

"I don't want to exist anymore, I'm tired of the constant charade that we play in front of the others, I'm tired of constantly having to prove I've changed, I'm tired of having to play off my sins like they don't even matter," Sunset said before she realized that she was alone and the phantom dissipated, before appearing behind her.

"See, you do want to die, I don't seek our death, I merely voice your repressed emotions, I'm not the bad one here, I'm all you, Your weak justifications only make my voice louder."

"You tricked me into saying that!!"

"A trick you said, the mind plays tricks, but those thoughts coming to the surface are all you, you perpetuate the negativity by repressing it."

"Fine, I give up, is that what you want to hear, do you want to hear that I want to die every time I see a mirror?"

"You know that answer, you alone know, since your the one who both asks the questions and answers them."

"well, how should I die then?"

"fire?"

"prolonged cruelty."

"freezing?"

"someone would notice I'm dying and may try to save me, I can't afford to be saved."

"slitting your wrists?"

"too slow."

"Gun?"

"too poor."

"how about we hang, a rope is cheap and easy to transport."

"fine, but where are we gonna hang?"

"there is a nice place over by Tartarus heights, no one goes over there."

"what about the pastor?"

"don't hesitate."

"Is this really what I want?"

"You know that answer."

"Fine, I hang tomorrow night, I know where to get the rope."

Sunset stood, guilt ineffectively gnawing at her, she made her way to the gym storeroom, rope coiled, normally used in plays and for curtains, she took enough to tie into a noose and made her way back to the library, when she sat down at the bed, as a new voice called out too her.

"Is this your choice?" A smaller Sunset said, She looked about the age of apple bloom and her friends, she would fit right in too, her eyes filled with innocents and faint hope.

"I have too."

"Are there no other options?"

"I got to hang, we've never belonged, now I rectify that."

"what about the good memories?"

"they're dead."

"Why do we got to hurt ourselves?"

"because a little more pain and we'll be free."

"I can't change your mind can I?"

"Fraid not."

The smaller Sunset simply looked down as her eyes deadened, the innocents draining out of her as she simply looked tired and frail, but adult sunset reached down and hugged her, though she knew she wasn't real, she had to try anyway, she made peace with her last ghost, as she took the journal and started writing one last entry, the last time ink would touch these pages for a long, long time.

Comments

[diablo4000]

More then ever i really want the CMC to pay for what they done. Three of the Rainbooms are paying for with thier guilt the last two...i can't wait to see them suffer it.

I love to see hwo Apple Jack sees ehr self as a hypcrite, saying Sunset was family, yet she tossed her aside and it was her real family that caused Sunset this pain and to try and end her life.

[Witchrblizzad]

... when u can't remember if this is one of those stories where cursing in the comments is justified or permitted so you just blank out the words...

F*** YOU CMC!

in all seriousness, this is quickly becoming one of my favorite Anon-a-miss stories and I can't wait to see how things go from here!

[dragenfire68]

8738915
nah curse all ya want i dont mind

[Witchrblizzad]

8753060

alright then ah hem

GO TO HELL YOU IMPERVIOUS, OBNOXIOUS, SELF-CENTERED ASSHOLES! SERIOUSLY ALL THREE OF YOU IRRELEVANT, NIEVE AND DOLTISH GIRLS WITH A HALF-ASSED PLAN TO FUCK AN INNOCENT GIRL OVER TO THE POINT OF HER WANTING TO KILL HERSELF!

wait for thats to harsh... they are kids after all.

girls... your half-baked, half-witted plan continues to stupify me as your reasons for doing this is idiotic, indiscreet and nonsensical. To the point that I wonder how you could still be so thick-headed as to believe that this was called for.

still, too much, try to keep it simple wizad...

I can not describe my disappointment.
...
I feel much better