The Honeymoon

by CrackedInkWell

Chapter 4

“Fancy… please… what are you doing?” Acrylic whined as Fancy crawled along the hot sand, diligently popping up and scanning the surroundings before going back down and continuing to crawl just behind Acrylic.

“Get down!” He whispered, ferociousness in his voice. “You’ll be seen, then we are both done for.”

Acrylic rolled his eyes and got down into the sand, “By who?” His tired expression looked over to the nearing mineshaft. If anything, he was rather confused at his husband’s mood as they drew closer. Gone from flirty to paranoid, the artist couldn’t figure out what had gotten into him.

“The potential salt dealers!”

Acrylic started slithering side by side with Fancy, giggling along the way as the two slowly crept toward the cave, “Well if one of us is going to act ridiculous, I might as well join in.” He smiled, brushing up against Fancy as they creeped along. “After all, we do want to be extra careful in such a deserted cave like this, otherwise the Pony of Shadows will at any moment grab us, and season us with salt and pepper before having us for breakfast.”

Fancy paused for a moment, “Acrylic, do you even know what I mean by salt dealers?”

“What? Are they ponies that sell you the kind of salt that you would put on over mashed potatoes?”

“I think we are thinking of a completely different kind of salt. No, in Equestria there is a type of salt that is highly illegal.”

His husband raised an eyebrow, “Somepony outlawed a specific type of salt?”

“Okay, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that since you weren’t born and raised in Equestria, I can assume that you don’t really know what I’m talking about. There is a specific kind of salt that would make you hallucinate to the point where you can’t tell what’s real from the salt. And the fact that it’s so addictive only makes it worse.”

“Huh,” Acrylic blinked, “I guess you learn something new every day huh? But still,” he started to walk into the mouth of the cave. “I highly doubt that this place hasn’t been visited by anyone other than animals.” He glanced over his shoulder with a smirk, “And maybe the occasional lovers.”

“I starting to regret my idea to be honest.”

“Oh come on Fancy, the first interesting thing we found in this place and you want to leave it? Last time I checked, you were the one who wanted to come here in the first place. So come on, let’s go exploring.”

Acrylic grabbed Fancy’s hoof and ran towards the entrance. The front was a lot larger than what they had initially thought, being at least twice their height and width. The cave protruded from the side of the mountain, surrounded by rocks and strengthened by pony-made support beams.

“So we are occupied! I wonder by who?” With a cheeky smirk, Acrylic raced into the darkened entrance. The two were greeted by an enormous entrance room, filled with tents and camping equipment. The sandy floor was dimly lit by the light outside, yet the room was filled by small torches laying dormant in the daytime. Supplies and crates were stacked up against one wall, the other being host to a large mine shaft entrance.

“Do you really think we should be here?” Fancy inquired.

“Perhaps not, but it does make you rather curious, doesn’t it? I guess I might have been right in that this is just a mine. Still, I wonder what exactly they are mining?”

“Acrylic, I don’t like this at all. There’s something not right with this place.”

His spouse sighed before picking up one of the lanterns. “How’s this? We just take one look around at this place and then we’ll go. Okay? I assume that we could take at least five or so minutes, and then we’ll leave.”

Fancy walked over to the mouth of a dark tunnel where in the dim light he saw a set of two lines in the dirt as if they were dragged through over and over. Glancing over his shoulder, he lit up his horn. “Five minutes,” he told him. “And no more.”

“That’s the spirit!” Acrylic wrapped a foreleg over his neck. “There’s your famous sense of adventure. Now come on,” he smiled as he plunged right in. “Let’s go see what they’re mining.”

The two walked through the large mineshaft entrance, the sand instantly feeling cooler out of the heat of the morning sun. The two walked along the dark damp pathway, running their hooves along the ragged walls where minerals had long been removed.

Fancy quickly stopped, holding onto Acrylic’s tail with his magic. “Hey!” Acrylic yelped as he felt the pull on his tail. The echo flew down the passageway. Fancy leaned in close and whispered into Acrylic’s ear.

“Shh, I can hear something.”

Acrylic frowned, straining to hear anything. They both quietly shuffled forward, sticking their necks around an upcoming bend to hear whatever it was clearer. Finally, Acrylic heard it, yet it did not come from the front of them.

“Ahem,” The two stallions froze, the gruff voice coming from right behind them that they couldn’t see except for a pair of eyes. “Can ah help y’all?”

---

“Faster!” Fancy screamed as he was pulling his husband behind him further into the mineshaft.

“Get back here!” several voices bounced off the walls along with the galloping of hooves. Acrylic was running behind his husband with the lantern in his teeth, always looking forward down the labyrinth in the dark. He followed Fancy through the twisting, bending, turning tunnels, hoping they wouldn’t run into one of the miners. The unicorn from time to time looked behind him just to be sure that Acrylic was still there when suddenly he got an idea.

“Put out your lantern!”

“What?!”

Fancy quickly took a sharp left and doused his horn. “Do it now and hide in here!”

With the sound of hooves behind him, Acrylic threw the lantern down the mineshaft. The sound of broken glass was heard just as quickly as the light went out when the Earth Pony dove right into the dark hole. Each stallion put a hoof over the other’s muzzle as the hooves and shouts of the miners got closer.

The two could hear the hoof steps and chatter as the miners closed in on them. After seconds they could see the lantern light slowly approaching the thin corner they had come from. Their heartbeats raced as the miners came into view, the light making them clearly visible, all the miners' eyes on them, slowly surrounding the two petrified stallions hugging the wall together.

“Well… that didn’t work..” Acrylic muttered through Fancy’s hoof.

“Howdy’, you two look mighty lost,” came a voice at the back of the pack. Out from the darkness, a charcoal stallion pushed through the thin circle of miners, stepping in front of the two intruders. “You look mighty scared too. No need, we ain't the type to get angry over a couple of wandering tourists.”

The couple looked at each other, then back at the miner. Simultaneously they peeled off the wall and heaved a sigh of relief. “Yeah, sorry about that,” Fancy explained, “Just... We couldn’t help checking out the mine in the middle of nowhere.”

The leader of the miners smiled and turned back to his crew. “It’s all good boys, back to work, I’ll take care of our friends from here.” The stallions shuffled down the shaft, heading back to their posts, leaving the couple and the charcoal stallion looking like their leader. “Y’all have ta forgive them,” he said. “We had ta keep tight security around here. So sorry fer gettin’ ya spooked back there, but this place really ain’t fer tourists.”

Acrylic was glaring daggers at Fancy. “And I have to apologize for the both of us, we were just curious about the cave and wanted to see what it was.”

The leader sighed in frustration, “Ah told them ta put up the ‘No Trespassin’ in Mine’ sign, but Ah swear they’re ignorin’ me on purpose. Here, let’s get ya fellas out of here.” He waved his lantern up the tunnel in which the two of them started to follow him. “So who are ya two? Y’all don’t look like yer from around here.”

“Acrylic sir,” spoke the Earth Pony, in which the lantern suddenly turned towards him.

“And I’m Fancy Pants.”

“Well, nice to meet y’all. The name’s Rock Slide, I am more of a middle pony for this here mineshaft. I take the minerals we dig up to Dodge.”

To say that Fancy Pants was skeptical at the term ‘middle pony’ was an understatement on par with Celestia being a little good at magic. In his eyes, a little prodding was more than necessary to uncover the validity of such a statement, “You seem to have a lot of push and pull for a middle pony.” Fancy prodded, much to his husband's angry glare.

Acrylic leaned into Fancy’s ear, away from the earshot of their new friend. “Fancy I swear to Celestia I am gonna sma-”

“Well, as a matter of fact, you’d be quite co-rect in that statement Mr. Pants, if you don’t mind the term.” Rockslide unintentionally interrupted the scolding, further retaining Fancy’s satisfaction and Acrylic’s frustration.

Fancy leaned in close, once again keeping Rock Slide from earshot, “I’d welcome it, hun.” He broke away quickly, returning to the conversation with Rock Slide as they marched along the long, windy cavern. “Seems like a lot of muscle to direct. In my experience, muscle needs a bit of direction. And just Fancy is fine, by the way.”

“Quite right indeed, just Fancy.” Rockside agreed, “Truth be told in these here parts, in order ta move all the necessary stuff out of ta way in time, we need all the help we could get. Sure, Ah maybe the middle pony in all of this, but even they’d need mah help.”

“I suppose that makes sense,” Acrylic murmured. As they were drawing out of the dark tunnels and into the vast cavernous space of the entrance, the artist noticed something, now that there was more light about. As he glanced over his shoulder, he couldn’t help but notice that the hooves of the stallion had a layer of dust which, curiously enough, was in a unique color of blue.

“Jus’ one more thin’,” added Rockside, setting the lantern down. “Why did ya fellas come here to this cave in the first place? Ah know y’all said that you’ve happened upon this place but, why?”

“Well, my accomplice here, Acrylic is a bit of an artist, we were doing some landscaping on a plateau over there,” Fancy began, pointing to the direction in which they had come from. “We noticed some lights coming from here in the morning and couldn’t help but investigate.”

Rock Slide stopped in his tracks, looking stern for a moment. “Well, lucky y’all ran here into us. Lotta bad ponies ‘round this joint recently. I’d watch ya noses if I were you.” Rock Slide added, an eerily bouncy step put into his words. “But an Artist you say? Ah hope y’all make it, that whole business seems a bit cut throat don't ya think?”

“You have no idea.” Acrylic muttered.

Fancy cleared his throat quickly, stepping closer to the curious middle-pony. “Well in actual fact, Acrylic here kind of already has made it. His artwork none the too bad for a pretty penny.”

At this Rock Slide’s eyes took on a whole new light. “Really now?” He asked excitedly, quickly maintaining his composure he brought his voice back to an even tone. “And how much does a pretty penny take to receive my own gen-u-ine Acrylic original? I’ve been meaning to re-decorate.”

Fancy put a hoof to his chin, “Somewhere in the low hundreds of thousands.” He replied coolly. “But that all depends on the painting. As of recently, the cheapest I’ve personally seen any of his work sold was (roughly) enough to buy a house. And not to brag, but you could easily imagine how much his most expensive could cost.”

That glint in his eye didn’t get any less bright, sending a chill down Acrylic’s spine. “Well shoot, I suppose I won’t be re-decoratin’ with your digs.” He chucked, shaking his head. “Makin’ much in Dodge? It’ll be good gettin’ our small town some exposure from a big artist.” Rockslide carried on, leading them to the entrance way.

“We will indeed, it sure is a lovely landscape,” Fancy replied in a chipper tone.

“That it is… that it is,” Rockslide replied with calm and demeanor. “Y’all better go along now. I’m sure ya got plenty o’ paintin’ ta do.”

“Thanks, Mr. Slide! We will see you around indeed.” Fancy and Acrylic walked off back into the direction of Dodge junction, Acrylic glaring at his overly springy husband. “Well, I’m glad that I had mistaken about this place and these miners. He seemed nice.” Fancy smiled, skipping ahead of his highly unamused companion.

“I don’t know…” his artistic husband glanced over his shoulder at the cave’s entrance. “There’s something off about all of that.”

“Oh come now ‘crylic,” he patted his spouse on the back. “We’ve just made an honest mistake. Consider that nopony was harmed and that our curiosity has been satisfied. And besides, you were right. I had nothing to be concerned over.”

While Acrylic didn’t say anything, he cast a suspicious gaze at the cave as they walked away. Once the couple was out of sight, Rockslide peaked his head out, watching them ascend the plateau.

Another pony joined him. “So, are we really gonna let them go? Jus’ like that?”

“Fer now, yeah,” he nodded. “But at the moment, Ah think Ah see an opportunity ta get some more bits on the side.”