Why Her?
The day of the Trip came very quickly (Made sense, it was only two days after the talk with Celestia.) and I can safely say I was happy to get out of the house.
It struck me as odd on the bus ride over that I was actively looking forward to this trip. Me and the outdoors do not go well together (The Day-ball burns my eyes) I am a self appointed shut in. I appreciate the outside world but for the most part I try to avoid it, it’s far more fun for me to be inside on my computer or watching something; so it was unusual to be so excited about spending a week at summer camp.
That being said a week ago I wasn’t a girl and more to the point; I wasn’t living with Blooming Spectre.
The girl is a pain in my ass. She seems to have no idea when it comes to teaching Dazzle (All she ever seems to do is act as a glorified spell checker and tell Dazzle when she was pronouncing words wrong) and mostly acts as a collection of things that piss me off.
Between her generally being intrusive and having no respect for my personal space or privacy... (Seriously every single time she goes out to get drunk she will always end up in my bed and when that happens I never get any sleep) ...She just has so many bad habits.
I’m guessing she lives alone because I can’t see anyone who lives with someone else doing stuff like drinking milk straight out of the cartoon, leaving stuff all over the place and dumping her clothes everywhere (I seriously want to know how the hell her bra ended up in the toaster)
I could probably live with this if not for one minor issue... She’s kinda important.
As crap a job as she was doing teaching Dazzle magic she was doing it and there have been results. Said results are also the second reason I wanted to get away from home for a while.
Magic, magic, magic, magic, magic, MAGIC! Seriously what does it say that I’m sick of frigging magic? You know, literal magic.
Trust me having a giant Venus fly trap growing out of your toilet while you’re sitting down is a very good way of putting you off.
Oh and that was a minor incident by the way. Trust me, you do not want to know some of the other stuff that’s happened.
So the point is getting out of the house for a week was worth putting up with the nature and the day-ball.
Still though that wasn’t to say it was perfect. Luckily for me the second curse was still active on me meaning I didn’t need to buy another camp uniform because my male one shrank to fit. The problem was I was a relatively attractive teen girl surrounded by teen boys in shorts and a somewhat tight fitting T-shirt.
These things do not go well together.
It was as I leant against the lamp post feeling the need to apologize for my gender that something I’d been dreading happened.
Flash Sentry showed up.
Otherwise known as my friend who hadn’t seen me in a week.
I had sent him a message saying I was feeling like crap and not able to go to camp but that my cousin Spark was going in my place and on the grounds she didn’t know anyone could you at least talk to her.
In my head that seemed like a good idea. The problem was I’d forgotten Flash is a bit... Chivalrous?
Now most of the girls like that, I can’t say I don’t get why; not being a colossal asshole is generally a good thing and being extra nice to girls is good enough. The problem was, well... I kinda knew he was going to do the same thing to me when he thought I was Spark.
I really didn’t want this.
“Hey, you’re Sparkler right?” Flash asked, offering a hand to me.
“Yup, that’s me!” I said with the most awkward smile ever on my face as I took the hand and shook it.
“Good to meet you, sorry about your cousin...” He said, looking awkward, as if this was something I would feel terrible about.
“Eh, he’ll get better...” I said, unable to keep the smile on my face as I realised I had no idea how long I’d be ‘Ill’ for.
“It’s not serious is it?”
Crap, he misinterpreted my smile vanishing.
“Yes, I mean no, I, erm...”
Dammit, dammit stupid brain words!
“Oh I’m sure he’ll feel better in a few weeks.” A new voice said.
Thank you Rarity! Thank you thank you thank you!
“Yes that!” I blurted, looking awkwardly between the two of them.
Smooth... Me.
“Okay then.” Flash said simply.
I am so glad at this point that Flash is too polite to say anything rude to people.
“So...” I said, trying to think of anything, anything at all, I could do this, hes my best friend, I can talk to him... right.
“...”
Dammit, dammit, dammit!
...
Yeah that could have gone better. I swear I will never be more glad to get on a frigging bus than at that moment.
Talking to people is hard. Extremely hard, sometimes.
I don’t think it’s an actual scientific fact but in my case I think boobs affect my ability to think straight and talk to my male classmates.
And I was now going to be stuck spending a week with them like this; Why was I so happy to leave the house again?
Oh yeah the Sofa tried to eat me yesterday.
Anyway, I know what we were supposed to do was talk about the camp and what we were going to do and sing along to the song... Please don’t be shocked when I confess to not doing that; I was going to spend the trip with my head in my kindle and I’m happy about that.
Well that was the plan, like all my recent plans it got interrupted. But not in a bad way.
We were a few minutes into the trip when the voice next to me spoke up.
“Is that Darring Do and the Marked Thief of Marapore?” The voice next to me asked.
I turned and realised who was sitting next to me; Canterlot high’s other ex she demon (seriously why the heck do we have two of those? Or let another three attend!?) Twilight Sparkle... The other one. Not the one who plays in a band and saved us from four of our five she demons.
Seriously there should not be that many at one school.
“Erm, yeah it is.” I responded with a small smile. “I’ve been meaning to read it for ages and well, long bus ride... Figured it would be a chance as any.”
“Yes it’s a good one, have you read any of the other books?” Twilight asked.
“I’ve tried, but at the moment there all too...” I then remembered who I was talking too and decided that I probably shouldn’t blurt out ‘Magical’ in front of her.
“What? To unrealistic, I did have my problems with the latter books.” Twilight said as she thought back on some of the later books.
“Are you kidding me, the books only get better as the series goes on!” Anouther new voice said, pulling herself over the chair to look at us.
“Rainbow she rafts down a river holding a towel up towel to propel her raft.” Twilight responded, rolling her eyes in annoyance.
“That’s a knowing reference/ homage to a great bit of British Sci-fi comedy, I liked that bit.” I explained, trying to figure out what to say without sounding like a jackass. “I’m okay with some cool (if silly) stuff in my pulp adventure stories; I’m just not big on magic at the moment... Too many stories from my cousin.”
Sunset and Rarity gave me a knowing nod from their seats but otherwise didn’t say anything.
“Yeah I can see that...” Rainbow Dash said, proudly puffing herself up “...But have no fear random girl, you have the protection of some of the most awesomest heroes ever to watch your back on this trip!”
“Oh is Mare Do Well here?” I asked, fighting off the urge to laugh at Rainbows face when I said that.
“What, no, us! Surely Glare mentioned us! I mean we saved his neck three times!” Rainbow cried with indignation.
“All he said was a rock band saved them from evil forgive me if I can’t put vague group descriptors to faces.” I shot back, realising I was having way to much fun pushing Rainbows buttons.
“Well that is true, although we hadn’t formed the awesome Rainbooms the first time we saved him.” Rainbow said, trying to get her ego back on track.
Now to take advantage of a running gag that went around the school when we were under light brainwashing.
“Hold on!” I gasped in moc shock as I looked at her. “The Rainboobs? Why did you call your band that... unless it’s not just your hair...”
That got her. Rainbows face went bright red and she fell back as Burst out laughing.
“Enjoying yourself a little too much there?” Sunset whispered, leaning over her chair to give me scathing look.
“In my defence it was funny.” I said back, even if I felt I should apologise to Rainbow Dash at some point.
...
The rest of the trip passed by in a relatively fun reading session, with my head planted firmly in my book while everyone else was sociable and talkative and sung songs. (With the exception of Rainbow Dash and Twilight, they spent the entire trip bickering about Daring Do and how real the books were, Rainbows arguments consisted mostly of: Yes that would work, it’s awesome. Which Twilight usually countered with: But physics says. Normally I’d be on her side but given my predicament the laws of physics have clearly given up around our school year so why fight it?)
Anyway, the only important thing I learnt about the trip was Celestia and Luna apparently went here when they were younger, I wonder how that works given the whole... Really old, maybe they could reverse their ageing... God I hope not, that has the potential to go all kinds of wrong.
Anyway once we were off the bus I walked in the vague direction of Sunset and Rarity once I retrived my backpack.
My first thought as I walked towards them was ‘Please don’t let me get stuck with Rarity, I’ll have literally no room’ Seriously why does that girl have about eleven bags? I got everything on the list in one larger than average backpack (that’s with my messy packing skills) I then heard Rarity say this:
“...The past year has all been a bit too much for my tastes.”
The last week has been far too much for my tastes, I feel you girl.
Anyway, I then got the fun experience of Flash briefly forgetting that the current Twilight was not the one we knew from the various events.
Then the intercom went off... and I hated the speaker already. I get what she was going for but forced peppiness just hurts to hear. (Also makes me feel like I’m six but whatever)
Anyway, I’m too lazy to repeat everything she said (it’s really not worth it anyway) so I’ll sum it up simply:
We were going to be assigned random tents (literally names out of a hat, well matching cards to indicate who we were bunking with; you get it) and it was apparently our job to make something for other campers to enjoy during their stay.
Yes, we had to make something for other people to enjoy... while they were making something for future campers... Okay I sort of get it but... Why?
Actually after I got my tent card from Timber (The older brother of the annoying person on the speaker, she was infinitely more pleasant in person, even if I’m thinking of starting a betting pool for when something goes tit’s up as a direct result of her saying ‘I got this’ Blooming has said that about five times since she moved in three days ago and it never works out) I went over to investigate Celestia and Luna’s gift, figured someone might as well enjoy it.
That and the fact the marks around the edge were glowing.
“Enjoying our gift?” Principle Celestia asked, walking over to me to look at it.
“Yeah... Is it meant to be glowing or is that a magic thing?” I asked.
“I assure you there is no magic involved...” Luna began before Celestia butted in.
“Already told her/him the truth Lulu.” She explained with a smile.
“Dammit Tia...” She groaned, in that tone Dazzle frequently uses whenever I do something stupid.
“So is it magic or...?” I asked, seriously the glow was weirding me out at this point. (That and I came to camp to get away from magic.)
“Yes, long ago there was a thing, we disguised ourselves as teens to get in, you don’t have to worry, its long gone now.” Celestia explained, (adding that last bit upon seeing my look of horror) I’m sure she was being intentionally vague about details here. “Anyway, the Dail was designed to keep any residue magic trapped here until it burned out, shoulda done that a few years ago now.”
“And you kept bringing students here while that was happening?” I asked, trying not to sound too much like I thought she was fucking insane.
“It was purely a back up, we were fairly confident we destroyed most of his power, literally there was no evidence of anything.” Vice Principle Luna explained.
“Okay... Why a Sundial?” I asked, I mean really, out of everything they could have picked, like was it essential or...
“Tia likes them.” The Vice Principle explained. “I think they’re ridiculous, you can only use them half the time... if you’re lucky.”
“Your just jealous.” The Principle shot back. The siblings then dissolved into petty bickering... Yup they’re siblings.
I was about to leave to go find my tent mate when she elected to ask in a not very subtle way.
“Where is the holder of the Quatz Card! Trixie does not like to be kept waiting you know!”
I glanced down at the card in my hand...
I swore as I looked over at the girl I’d be buncking with for the next week... CHS resident magician...
Fuck.
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poor sparky can't catch a break
Poor poor guy. I feel slightly sorry for him-turned-her
8826520
If he could there wouldn't be a plot.
8827512
i mean theirs being a plot then theirs having your couch try and eat you
8827696
That is true, personally the Venus fly trap sounded worse to me.
8827787
i raised a venus fly trap they are actoually very fragile litle things that plant probably died that night it was summoned to to to much water in the roots
8828099
Imagine a giant one crawling out of your loo while you're on it, that's why I consider it to be worse.
8828111
i can see that but I would imagine this guy would be used to seeing stuff like that by now
8828125
That wouldn't make it pleasant, it just means you'd have a better idea on how to handle it.
8831873
this guy needs to oh wait never mind not that type of story