Rex Unicornis

by Magi Tail Welkin

Chapter 2, Hold Fast for Lessons

Clover wrote on “Now, the Castle forever known as The Castle of the Two Sisters, was originally the home of a simple knight named Hold Fast, he built it as a hunter lodge of sorts. Later, we rebuilt it into the more recognisable one the Royal Sisters live in.”

Twilight blinked “Wow, I would have never guessed. I thought the castle was built specifically for Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.”

Night came down on the land.

In the great hall of the castle a middle-aged Unicorn, who by his figure and facial hair, looked like a walrus transformed into a pony, paced about the hall grumbling “The Devil take it! Any-ponies got better sense then to go barging off into that infernal forest alone.” He trudged back to the table where August sat craving a plate of meat, Hold Fast glared at him “You had no business letting him go.”

“Look, Dad, I’m not the Wart’s keeper.” He put the plate down and a pair of dogs hounded the meat.

Hold Fast shouted over the barks “Well blast it all! I am! After all I took him in. Felt as a Silver Enlightened fellow and a knight, it was duty to take care of some-pony who couldn’t do it themselves. Adopted the lad you might say, being his foster father, well I’m responsible for him.”

The dogs barked excitedly and rushed passed the pair to the hall entrance. Hold Fast looked as they pounced onto the Wart and licked his face. A new pony, dressed in blue with a pointy hat poked his head through the archway. But Hold Fast didn’t address the guest at first. He galloped over and took the dogs by their collar “Tiger! Talbert! Off with you!”

The Wart wiped his face. Hold Fast glared down at him “Now look here Wart, what’s the idea of gallivanting off into the woods and worrying the living daylights out of every-pony?”

“I’m sorry sir.”

“Well, sorry isn’t enough. That’s four demerits, four hours extra kitchen duty.” He sniffed “Report to the cook!”

“But sir, I’d like you to meet…”

“Go on hop it colt!” he watched the lad run across the hall and down the stairs to the kitchens. Hold Fast spoke out, mostly to himself, but like all authority figures who rarely listen to anyone but themselves, he spoke with volume. “Yes, you’ve got keep a tight schedule to run a big place like this. Need strict rules, especially for young colts.”

The owl on the stranger’s hat started talked “I can agree with that.”

Instead of asking the most obvious question of why an owl talked, because you never knew what lived in the Everfree Forest, a talking owl seemed tame compared to the stuff he usually encountered on hunts, Hold Fast put his face into the strangers’ full view and bellowed “And who are you?”

The one in blue cleared his throat “My name is Star Swirl. And this is Clover, she’s a Witch.”

Hold Fast burst out laughing “An owl as a witch? Ha, that’s a good one.”

Clover huffed and flew up to the antlers of a stag hanging high on the wall.

The Knight looked to Star Swirl “Say, I know, you’ve got it under a spell Star Squall. You’re a magician.”

“The name is Star Swirl, and yes she is under a spell, but of her own creation gone wrong, she is a witch. And I happen to by the world’s most powerful wizard!”

Hold Fast burst out laughing again “Come of it! Gad-Zukes!”

“Alright then. I shall demonstrate.” He charged his horn “Higitus Figitus, Migitus Mo! Wind and snow, swirl and blow!”

A cold wind spiralled around Hold Fast and snow started to fall and cover him from hoof to mane “What the Devil are you up to?”

Star Swirl chuckled “That is what I call a Wizard Blizzard.”

Every-pony outside the visions of the events, even the elderly Clover at the desk, shook their heads at the terrible pun.

Hold Fast shook but smiled “August, would you look at this. An indoor blizzard! And in the 18^th month of the year, very middle of summer!”

August took a slice of pie “So what?”

“Alright Spiral, turn it off.” He shuddered “I’m convinced.”

“Alakazam!” Star Swirl shouted and the snow started melting. Hold Fast shook the last bits off, which quickly evaporated “I, I hope you don’t go in for any of that, black magic?”

Star Swirl held his hoof up and shook his head “Oh no, never touched the stuff. My magic now is mainly used for educational and study proposes.” He tried to sit down but stopped. He waved his hoof and his carpet bag bounced up to act as a seat. “In fact, that is why I am here. I have come to educate young Bullion.”

Hold Fast’s expression steeled and he pushed himself into Star Swirl’s face “Oh no you don’t. I’m running this place. If you think you’re going to fiddle with my schedule you’d better pack up your bag of tricks and be gone!”

Star Swirl disappeared in a flash of magic.

Hold Fast flinched and looked about “Well by God! August, he gone.”

“Good ridden.”

A voice echoed through the hall “I’m gone, and yet I’m not gone.”, Hold Fast flinched as the wizard spoke” So, if I do leave,” he said as Hold Fast checked inside the carpet bag “you can never be sure I am gone. Can you?”

The knight scratched “Well, uh, I must say, you’ve got me on that point Stairwell. Ha, you win, you’re welcome to stay if you like.”

“Thank you.” Said a voice beside him. Hold Fast jumped and turned to find the wizard at his side “You’re very kind.” Although his expression said otherwise “Very generous I must say.”

“Well, all we can offer is room and board, hard times you know Star Squall, we’ll put you up in the Northwest Tower, that’s the guest room, I know how you wizards have a head for heights.” He escorted the wizard and the owl out into the courtyard and pointed to a tall tower, held up by scaffolding, and bent slightly. “It has a draft in the winter, but in this blazing hot weather it’s the best room in the castle.”

Star Swirl sniffed “Oh yes, very lovely.”

Hold Fast smiled slyly “So just make yourself at home Spiral.”

Star Swirl started climbing the stairs and grumbled “Squall, Spiral, Stairwell. Will he ever get my name correct?”

Hold Fast chuckled and turned back. He would need to speak with the local Pegasi.

The vision changed to the tower in a freak rainstorm.

From the holes in the roof several umbrellas sprouted.

Star Swirl opened another one before climbing down the bric-a-brac. “Best room in the house. Ha!” he grumbled as he tipped his telescope up, so the rain water would collect in a vase. He then emptied a full bucket, the water spilled onto one of the few areas of open space. “Guest room! Unwelcome guest room more like it!” He picked a large urn, wiped the water off the globe and book with his beard and put the urn down on the spot “But if he thinks he can get rid of me, I’ve got news for that only walrus! I’m sticking it out!”

From her birdhouse Clover called down “And I say we go back to the forest. Your meddling Star Swirl, when a magic user meddles it ends in trouble. There’s millions of reasons why magic and meddling don’t mix, their called Witches and Wizards.”

“No, not on your life.” Star Swirl levitated the sugar pot onto a tall stack of books and took the lid off. As he turned away the pot flinched. Spooned the water out of itself and slammed its lid back into place.

Star Swirl continued “That boy has got to have an education, he has a future, I can tell.”

“Well,” Clover said with a sly giggle “You may be right.” She stepped onto the perch “A skinny kid like that would make a wonderful chimney sweep.” She laughed. Then a puddle of water fell through the roof and soaked her.

Star Swirl laughed himself “Something tells me your all wet Clover.”

From outside a horn blew, the Sorcerer walked over to the hole in the wall which could be used as a window and looked down to the gatehouse. Another thinner Unicorn stood at the other end of the moat and blew the horn again.

A guard peered over “Who goes there?”

“It’s Listener, Reverend Listener dash it all, I’ve got big news from Canterlot!”

The guard pulled at the lever and the drawbridge fell. The thud caused the Northwest Tower to shake slightly.

Star Swirl gipped the stronger looking masonry “Oh, big news? They can’t wait for the Equestria Daily, the first edition won’t be out for at least,” he took his watch out of his beard “nine-hundred years.” He walked over the birdhouse “Clover, would you mind flying down there and…”

“No! I’m not interested.”

“Oh, come now, your as wet as you’ll ever going to be already.”

“No!”

“Clover! I’ll make that spell of your permanent!”

“You said you couldn’t alert the spell.”

“I said I couldn’t fix it. It’s your spell, only you can fix it. I can however add onto the spell. Do you want to remain and owl forever?”

“You wouldn’t dare!”

“I will! Or so help me I will! A student is supposed to do as their teacher instructs!”

“Alright!” She stepped out and spread her wings “But under protest.” She flew out the window. Star Swirl chuckled “Alright works every time. It’s like magic.”

The elderly Clover paused and wrote “That’s because it is magic. Witchcraft. Like psychology, but many witches think psychology is a bad word, or that it means having a psychological problem. It called Headology, it relies on what people think and what they believe, and about perspective. A witch can change a pony’s perspective on reality, like hypnosis, to save on using magical energy. For example, it’s far easier to make a pony think they’ve been turned into a frog then actually turn them into one.”

The owl Clover flew down and into the Great Hall. She landed on an antler just as the doors opened.

The thin Unicorn referred to as Reverend Listener walked in and took his cloak off.

Hold Fast jumped up and proclaimed “Reverend!” he ran up and hugged the Unicorn “Greetings old boy, have a drink!”

“Thank you, I don’t mind if I do.”, Bullion passed a goblet over. The Silver Enlightened priest took it with a graceful nodded and took a sip, then wiped his bushy moustache “Just the thing to warm myself up on a rainy night.”

Hold Fast sat down “So, what’s all the noise about Canterlot?”

“Big news, really big news.”

“Sit down and let’s hear it.”

He sat down “They’re having a big tournament on New Year’s Day.”, before the Summer Sun Celebration, Unicorns and Earth Ponies shared certain events on their calendar, New Year’s Day in this instance is the first day after the winter solstice.

Hold Fast rolled his eyes and shank into his chair “That’s not news, dash it all. The Magisters always do.”

“But, Hold Fast,” Listener continued “here’s where all the excitement comes in.” He leaned in as Hold Fast took a long swig of his wine “To the victor of this year’s tournament, goes the Crown!”

Hold Fast gulped, spat and spluttered. Half drunk wine spilled down the Reverend’s face.

Bullion rushed over and gave the priest a cloth. Listener smiled, nodded his thanks and wiped his face.

Hold Fast meanwhile, managed to stop his coughing fit “You mean the winner will be King of the Unicorns?”

Listener took his goblet, stood up and raised it high “King of all Unicorns.”, some wine split onto his face.

Hold Fast turned to his lounging son “August lad! Did you here that?”

August chuckled “Pretty fair prize I’d say.”

Hold Fast stood and steeled his expression “Yes, and you could win it my boy, if you focused on your training.” He patted him on the back “We’ll have you knighted by the Festival of Lights,”, a, in the modern day, forgotten Unicorn holiday “and off to Canterlot! What do you say?”

“Sure. Why not?”

“That’s the spirit!” Hold Fast turned the Bullion, the page carried a load of plates, pans and bowls on his back “Wart lad? How would you like you go to Canterlot?”

“Oh, Sir Hold Fast, you really mean it?”

“If you stick to your duties, you can be August’s squire.”

“Oh, I will sir, I will.” He turned to the stairs paused looked down. Took the first step down. A plate fell off his back, his hoof hit it and he tripped down the stairs.

Listener looked up concerned. Hold Fast laughed. August sneered “I don’t want the Wart for my squire.”

Bullion stood up and started recollecting the crockery. Listener nodded and grabbed his goblet. Hold Fast called a toast “Here’s to Canterlot. And here’s to August. And here’s to the banner of the Castle of the Everfree Forest!”

Clover having heard enough flew back to the Northwest Tower to relay the news to Star Swirl.

Dawn came, the rain long gone and the sun’s warmth drying the castle, a cockerel called out its morning call.

“Charge!” and the brief peace of the morning broke.

August charged across the yard in armour, a lance and strapped to either side. He headed for a dummy of an opposing knight, a mechanical dummy behind cranked by Bullion.

Hold Fast continued his orders “Weight forward! Lean into it! Steady boy! Steady! Steady with the lance!”

August ran into the padded end of the dummy lance. It bent. Caught his chin. The dummy leaned back. The lance straightened. Catapulting August into the base of the Northwest Tower.

The tower shook violently, but miraculously stayed up. Hold Fast called up “Heads up!”

Star Swirl groggily, though speedily, raised himself up from his bed, blinking he mumbled “Ah, Cl-Clover? What, what going on? Where are we?”

Clover jumped out of her birdhouse, which in the shaking fell from its place on the wall. She grumbled as she shook herself “In a tumbledown old tower, in the most miserable castle in the entire Silver Enlightened world! That’s where.”

Star Swirl scratched a hoof over his mane “Castle?”

Clover fell over to the bedpost “Don’t you even remember the boy?”

“Boy?” he asked as he yawned.

An angry voice echoed “Can’t you remember one blasted thing?”

Star Swirl steeled and turned to Clover “Oh now just a minute, is that any way to talk to your teacher?”

Clover said nothing, but the voice continued “Tight grip on the lance…”

“Oh.” The Sorcerer said and he got out of bed and walked to the window, Clover grabbed her secondary perch and flew beside him.

Down in the caught yard Sir Hold Fast and Reverend Listener lectured a battered August, well, Sir Hold Fast did as the Reverend bushed and straightened the larger dents of August’s helmet.

“Knees in tight, weight forward and stay on target. And you keep losing your grip”, he slapped August on the back. The twenty-year-old wined and looked at his father annoyed.

Listener walked up “It’s not a mere matter of muscle son, jousting is a fine skill, it’s a highly developed science.” He gave the helmet over.

Star Swirl scoffed “Science indeed. One dummy trying to knock off another dummy with a bit of a stick.”

Clover nodded “And the Wart’s just as hot for it as the rest of them.”

Star Swirl watched as Bullion scurried about getting another lance for the dummy. He straightened it and turned the helmet the right way around.

“He certainly is, that colt has got real spark, lots of spirit, puts his heart and soul into everything he does. That’s worth something, if only it can be turned in the right direction.”

Clover laughed “Fat chance of that.”

“Oh, I plan to cheat of course, use magic. Every trick in the trade if I have to.”

Clover looked up to the sky and sighed before mumbling “I can tell this isn’t going to end well.”

Star Swirl took his hat and went down the stairs. Bullion finished his repair on the dummy and the Sorcerer taped his shoulder, the colt smiled “Oh, hello Star Swirl sir.”

“Good morning my boy,” he glanced to Sir Hold Fast and the others as they mucked about this August’s armour “I think they might take some time to sort themselves out. How about you and I go from a little walk.”

“Well,” Bullion said, “I could do with stretch my legs a bit.”

“Good boy. Come on now.” And he walked to the gate, Bullion scurried after.

Soon they walked by the mote, Bullion picked up a stick with his magic and started to wave it about like the sword “I’d do anything to go charging about, slaying Hydras, Dragons and Griffins, I’ve heard about these things called Sirens.”

Star Swirl chuckled “Well, Dragons and Griffins are not so bad, it’s more on an individual basis, some are very nice, others can be unpleasant at times and some are downright monstrous, you should learn both sides of the story, maybe the Dragon has a good reason for taking all the gems or making a lot of smoke. It could be it’s a nice dragon who just made a mistake.”

Bullion stopped “I know dragons can speak, ever since the Dragon Lord, Smog, but, well, huh, I guess I’ve never seen it like that, no-ponies ever thought it like that.”

“And that’s the point young Bullion, think before you act.” He laughed “And whose to say you won’t become a hero?”

“Well, you see, I’m an orphan, and a knight must be of proper birth. I only hope I’m worthy enough to be August’s squire, that’s a big job too you know.”

“Yes, I’d almost say impossible. But consider this, just because you’re an orphan doesn’t mean your not of proper birth.”

“I’ve thought of that, but Sir Hold Fast doesn’t know who left me in his care. So, no-pony knows if I’m proper birth or not.”

“Then how is it you got such a fancy name as Bullion?”

“One of Sir Hold Fast’s knight friends said my coat shone like a precious metal.”

“I see, well.” He cleared his throat “Now lad…”

---

The elderly Clover reappeared, “Out of my respect of old Star Swirl and my, dislike of Transfiguration Spells, I’ll skip these first couple of lessons he did over the course of the day. He put Bullion in some awkward positions. Not to mention got him into deep trouble with Sir Hold Fast, after the first one, which involved my saving his life, Bullion got six demerits, three for being late returning to August’s training, and three more for his explanation of the lesson.”

She dipped her quill in the ink and continued “As he started working cleaning in the kitchen Star Swirl came into the escort the boy off on the other lesson. But with all the pots and pans to be cleaned, well, they couldn’t be left. So, Star Swirl, in his, wisdom, decided to use magic and made a cleaning assembly line, whatever that is.”

She paused and went to her drew. She pulled out a small portrait.

“On our journey to the White Tall Woods we passed a party of passing nobles. Sir Crash, who Bullion recognised as the one to contribute to his name, having been a guest to Sir Hold Fast when the infant colt appeared at the castle’s metaphorical doorstep, and Sir Crash’s ward, a young noble unicorn filly, White Enchantress. I noticed their eyes met, and they didn’t look away until they couldn’t see each other anymore. I filed that as something to mention later. Love is a tricky thing, I’d say it’s one of the most powerful forces in the world, and must be treat with care.”

Twilight nodded, having seen Queen Chrysalis and his Changelings blasted from Canterlot all the way to the Badlands by the love of Cadence and Shining Armour, it seemed on par with Friendship, hence why Cadence is an Alicorn Princess, she embodied and wielded the Magic of Love, although she remembered Cadence being perhaps a little reckless with her powers as a teenage filly. Both Love and Friendship must be powerful to stand next to, although probably below, the magic with kept the Sun and Moon in the sky and in orbit.

“The next lesson didn’t accomplish much, but the return to the Castle, and the kitchen made a real impact on things.”

---

The cook screamed as she ran up the stairs, a legion of bubbles following her. “Sir Hold Fast!”

Said knight spared with August.

“Sir Hold Fast, the kitchen.”

“Hold it son.” The Knight turned around to speak. Only for August to knock his helmet off “August! Hold I said.”, he bashed his sword into August’s helmet, knocking the twenty-year-old to the ground and denting the helmet again. Sir Hold Fast nodded with a grunt, then he returned to the cook “Now then, what’s all the commotion?”

“The kitchen! It’s under an evil spell!”

Reverend Listener ran up “Evil spell?”

“It’s bewitched!”

Sir Hold Fast turned angry “I bet it’s that goat, Spiral.”

The Reverend took out his book and crucifix “You didn’t tell me you had unpleasant guests.”

“Calls himself a Sorcerer, no good wizard pocking is horn in things that don’t concern him.” He turned to August “Come on son, I knew he would give us trouble.” The three of them rushed down into the kitchen. Sir Hold Fast stopped at the bottom. Reverend Listener almost ran into him. The knight exclaimed “Good heavens!”

The pots, pans and plates hoovered in a line, once over the, floating tub, the levitating brushes cleaned the dirt off, they then move along to be rinsed by a flying bucket and dried by an avian pair of bellows. Once all clean the dishes reassembled in neat piles.

Meanwhile, mops and brooms cleaned the floor.

Reverend Listener spoke his mind “I wouldn’t call this an evil spell. Powerful yes, by the speed of the washing and the size of the piles it’s been going on for at least an hour, probably more.”

“Evil or not,” Sir Hold Fast said “I’m not having magic in my kitchen. To the attack!” He raised his sword, the Reverend ducked, but the blade hit August’s horn.

Hold Fast swung and smashed plates. He bashed a pan and pushed the line back.

The bellows started blowing at him, and somehow thanks to the muck up of the line, squirted water at him. The line started pushing into him. He pushed back. He took a swing. Hit the pan and the front. His sword broke. The line bashed him. He landed in the tub. He then started being scrubbed, then bashed by the waiting pan, then scrubbed again, over and over.

The cook jumped back “Heaven preserve us!”, the Reverend ducked and joined her “It’s not responding to my exorcisms, it not evil. Maybe Hold Fast shouldn’t have given young Bullion all this work, then this wizard wouldn’t have meddled.”

August spared with the brooms and the mops. One mop wrapped around his face and proceeded to literally wipe the floor with him.

At this moment Star Swirl opened a side door and blinked, in horror he exclaimed “Now what have we here?”

Bullion blinked “Jumping jackalopes!”

Star Swirl charged his horn and shouted “Alakazam!”

With a crash the spell ended. And then everything else started crashing.

Hold Fast blustered as he struggled to get out of the tub “There you are, you goat! What’s the idea of flinging your evil spells all over the place? Some-pony give me a hoof out.”, August and the Reverend walked over, Listener spoke “Hold Fast I said the spell used wasn’t evil.”

Once standing Hold Fast looked at him coldly “Seemed evil to me, the way those inanimate objects attacked us like that!” He trudged up to Star Swirl, as he spoke bubbles flew from him “What have you got to say for yourself?”

“You call washing dishes and sweeping the floor a work of evil?”

“I’ll decide what right and wrong around here!”

The Reverend raised an eyebrow.

“Besides,” the knight continued “that’s the Wart’s job. One of his duties.” He turned to Bullion “Now look here boy, if you want to make that trip to Canterlot you’d better stay on the right side of the line.”

The cook then said her two bits to Star Swirl “You goat! If I ever catch you in my kitchen again, I’ll…”

“Madam, you won’t.” And he disappeared. The cook blinked “Oh dear, he’s gone.” She treed gingerly closer to the ground the Sorcerer stood on.

“Good Lord.” Hold Fast said.

August walked up and wringed the last of the water out of his mane “We ought to run the fool out of the Castle!”

“No!” Hold Fast said putting his hoof to August’s mouth “He might put another evil spell on the lot of us. Turn us all the stone. There’s no tell what the devil might do.”

The Reverend opened his mouth. But Bullion walked up determined “He’s not a devil! He’s, he’s good and his magic is good too.”, the colt spoke Sir Hold Fast and August turned to look down on him, in more ways than one.

“If you just leave him alone…”

Hold Fast interrupted “Now look here Wart, that’s three more demerits.”, August nodded “Box his ears Dad.”

Bullion didn’t care “Just because you can’t understand something it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. I mean no-pony, not even the Reverend can claim to truly understand God.”

Hold Fast blustered “Ten more demerits!”

Listener approached slowly “Excuse me…”

Both ignored him. Bullion went on ranting with watery eyes “You make all the rules and no-pony else can say anything!”

“You’ve said plenty boy! All that just ruined your chances.” He turned to his son “August, from now on young Hobbs is your squire.” He laughed “Did you hear that Wart? Hobbs is going to be August’s squire and Hobbs will be going to Canterlot.”

A tear rolled down Bullion still determined face “Yes sir.”

Hold Fast and August walked away, not before August called back “And that’ll teach you to keep you mouth shut you like pipsqueak.” He paused at a mop and slice the handle off.

Once they left the Reverend sighed, he looked at Bullion “If you need to talk, I’ll be here until tomorrow evening.”

Bullion sniffed “Thank you sir.”

The cook put her hoof onto his shoulder “Why don’t you have the rest of the day off boy. I’ll get some of the other lads to help me clean up.”

Bullion sniffed again “Thank you.” He slowly walked to the side door.

When he reached the straw bed in the stable hall he collapsed and curled up.

Twilight herself felt a couple of tears. Flash wrapped his hooves around her.

As the night fell on the Castle a series of lights started twinkling as Star Swirl slowly re-emerged into the world, first his hat, then his beard, then his body “I’m sorry lad, sorry I spoiled everything.” He sighed, although the edges of the mouth hinted a grin “I know that trip to Canterlot meant a great deal to you.”

Bullion sighed “It’s not your fault. I shouldn’t have said those words. Now I’m really done for.”

“No, no.” Star Swirl said smiling “You’re in a great spot boy. Once you’ve hit rock bottom the only way is up.”

“I’d like to know how.”

“Use your head. An education lad!”

“What good will that do?”

“Get it first then who know? Are you willing to try?”

Bullion sighed “Well,” he shook his head with a smile “What have I got to lose?”

Star Swirl laughed and patted him on the back “That’s the spirit! We’ll start tomorrow! We’ll show them, won’t we boy?”

Bullion sighed again and shook his head embarrassed “We sure will.”